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D&D NPC Idea

Perfectly Ordinary Dog

Low strength, very low dex, low constitution, high intelligence, low wisdom, godlike charisma

Is capable of doing anything a PC can do (climb/intimidate/bluff/etc) but with disadvantage on anything that would be difficult or impossible for a dog.

A loyal dog that follows the party. No one knows where it came from. It does its best to help the party, but it only knows a few generic commands. They are:

Sit: Perfectly Ordinary Dog sits. Leave It: Perfectly Ordinary Dog disengages from all opponents. Shake: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Earthquake. Come: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Teleport on itself to move directly next to the person who issues the command. Stay: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Turn to Stone on itself. The effect lasts until Perfectly Ordinary Dog is told otherwise. Speak: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Speak With Animals on itself. In addition to the spell effects, it removes disadvantage from all rolls involving speech (bluff, etc.) Sing: Perfectly Ordinary Dog uses Bardic Performance. Heel: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Cure Light Wounds on the most injured party member within range. Down: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Gate and summons a portal to a random netherworld dimension.

The PCs do not know about any of Perfectly Ordinary Dog’s abilities and must find them out via trial and error.

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*bows before the bofanian king* I come from the faraway land of Dees. I bring you great gifts of honey, cheese, figs… Nuts…

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date a

me

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Sony, taking back Spider Man after seeing Marvel continuously try and make him Iron Man Jr. while having him consistently fight against demonized working class villains who got screwed over by a billionaire

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do non americans know that sometimes you’ll just see lifelike human testicles hanging off the back of peoples trucks

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me bathing my dog: ohhhhh does she like the water!!! is it waaarrrm!!! ooooo shes gonna be so cleeeaaaan shes a clean little goorrrl gonna smell so goooood!!!!!

my dog in the tub looking like a sad wet rat:

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hehe…check this out … LOL!

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mutuals please line up for your daily vibe check. I wanna see some good vibes today

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the sequel to sex

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this is literally in response to a video a mom posted of a stop motion film her TEN YEAR OLD SON MADE FOR FUN why do men speak

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Tumblr solidarity is hating TERFs and that’s the one thing I love about tumblr