bobcatmoran

[bobcatmoran]

JET LAG THE GAME | Benjamin 'cardinal directions and vibes' Doyle (1 / ?)

[bobcatmoran]

Girl help, there is a chicken in my backyard. O_o

[bobcatmoran]

fascinated by this screenshot where they took out the poster's username and replaced it with a very small picture of alex the lion

[bobcatmoran]

thank goodness, i wouldn't want to use outdated enchilada-reheating strategies

[bobcatmoran]

[bobcatmoran]

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

[bobcatmoran]

he killed 6 people

[bobcatmoran]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[bobcatmoran]

lake wants to kill and gnash and gnash my bones I think

[bobcatmoran]

Let’s block a parking space with mama

[bobcatmoran]

huh !

[bobcatmoran]

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

[bobcatmoran]

vulcan horror movies would be an exercise in emotional regulation against fear, targeted directly at vulcans' deepest insecurities. movies titled "IT IS ILLOGICAL TO QUIVER AT THIS SEQUENCE OF EVENTS" which, if one of its hundred-and-six jumpscares gets you, you'll never live it down. humans find them annoyingly scary, like a friend who won't stop trying to "get" you.

you'd think that klingon horror movies are gorefests, but it's actually quite the opposite: gore is honorable, and nothing is scarier than dishonor. they often show a person whose life falls apart despite their own valiance and virtues: like an earth tragedy but with someone who clearly doesn't deserve it. at the end, there's often an operatic number where the protagonist exclaims that there's nothing they could have done to prevent their abysmal fate.

ferengi horror movies are documentaries about stock market crashes

[bobcatmoran]

american puritan names have nothing on the first name of this 17th century dutch woman artist i just read about. my girl Tesselschade ('texel damage') named after the shipwrecking of her father's 44 trade ships on the coast of the island Texel in 1593.

[bobcatmoran]

roommates don't like my new weapon

[bobcatmoran]

imagine making a missing poster for your lost child but in the missing poster you had to include the fact that they fucking eat dirt

[bobcatmoran]