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“The goddess of conviction and the goddess of doubt are more than friends. They need each other. The one without the other would be incomplete. And also, they love each other, they care for each other, they choose each other. They are both aware of how much better things are when they work together. Doubt with no hint of conviction is terror, conviction with no hint of doubt is tyranny. When we let our Doubt and Conviction choose to walk hand in hand, we see the world as it is.”

— St. Kristen Applebees of the pantheon of Cassandra and Ankarna

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And what if I said I wanted a FH au where Gorgug is a barbarian/artificer teacher at Aguefort academy, specialising in helping multiclass students, who has a workshop and builds commissions as a side business (he has a high level of barbarian clients, who usually break or ruin regular artificer machines).

What if I wanted a FH au where Fabian becomes a bard/fighting teacher, using his mother’s sword lessons to teach students, taking over both dance club and bloodrush coach (who on weekends does dance classes and dances in local and national shows).

What if I wanted a FH au where Kristin recognises herself in the confused cleric students who are suddenly learning more about religion than their families taught them, and decides that she can assuade their doubt (they are encouraged to ask questions always, and she assures them that they don’t need to be certain to deserve kindness).

What if I wanted a FH au where the Aguefort academy has a sort of careers day, for those not looking for an adventuring career, and the students get to watch as their cleric, barbaficer and bard fighting teacher walk in with the most successful PI of Solus, the Elven Oracle and famous singer and Devil of Rebellion, acting like they’ve known each other forever.

What if the students look, and find an old photo in Agueforts office, of the six of them, fire and rubble in the background, hugging and laughing, with a post it note on the back of -the bad kids, do not seperate-.

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In Sophomore Year, Adaine's nightmare vision of herself is in mourning garments, speaking to her underlying fear that, as an elf, she'll outlive everyone she cares about and have to face forever alone.

In the finale of Junior Year, Aelwyn says that she hopes that she and Adaine can eat ice cream and do magic together forever and Adaine with no trace of insincerity agrees. She still has to face forever, but not alone. Not anymore.

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Wanted the Rat Grinders to have a proper cover.

(In a perfect world I'd make a variant cover with The Bad Kids and the Ice Feast)

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Bucky Applebees, eventually, starts following Kristen's advice. He does the scary thing, he learns he doesn't have to be scared. Rinse and repeat. He leans into the unknown, the drop-off into deeper waters. His smites glow less golden and more silvery. He sends a quick prayer to Cassandra before trying something new.

He starts to spend time with his adventuring part, for real. They are loud and kind and willing to teach him what he wasn't allowed to learn. They have study sessions and slumber parties. They give each other makeovers with nail polish and hairbands and cheap makeup. (Bucky takes it off before going home.)

They call Bucky "Bee," short for both his first name and last. They don't say anything when he starts wearing the clothes Kristen left behind. It's mostly tie-dye and sweatshirts, anyway.

They let Bee find herself at her own pace. It's slow at first, breaking down the lifetime of fear, and then the dam bursts. She stops asking why and starts existing, lets some things be unknown.

She reads books about The Nightmare King, and the Church of Cassandra blog Kristen started. She sees herself in the story. An angry, terrifying being, isolated. Making a real connection and being given a name. Becoming calmer, fiercer, more herself.

The summer before sophomore year, she shows up at Mordred. She sees Kristen's room, Cassandra's chapel. She whispers a prayer and the altar flickers with starlight.

They sit on Kristen's bed and Bee talks quickly and quietly.

"I don't want to be there anymore. I can't be anything other than your sister."

And Kristen, the girl she looks up to more than any other, smiles.

"Hey girlie."

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“bakarath”

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No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.

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Every time I think about the Rat Grinders I just hear that one clip from Brennan about how people don't just become cruel bc of their religion, they seek out religions which incentivize their personal beliefs/desires

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I would still like to find out out what the exact deal is is with Henry hopclap

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Bucky Applebees, eventually, starts following Kristen's advice. He does the scary thing, he learns he doesn't have to be scared. Rinse and repeat. He leans into the unknown, the drop-off into deeper waters. His smites glow less golden and more silvery. He sends a quick prayer to Cassandra before trying something new.

He starts to spend time with his adventuring part, for real. They are loud and kind and willing to teach him what he wasn't allowed to learn. They have study sessions and slumber parties. They give each other makeovers with nail polish and hairbands and cheap makeup. (Bucky takes it off before going home.)

They call Bucky "Bee," short for both his first name and last. They don't say anything when he starts wearing the clothes Kristen left behind. It's mostly tie-dye and sweatshirts, anyway.

They let Bee find herself at her own pace. It's slow at first, breaking down the lifetime of fear, and then the dam bursts. She stops asking why and starts existing, lets some things be unknown.

She reads books about The Nightmare King, and the Church of Cassandra blog Kristen started. She sees herself in the story. An angry, terrifying being, isolated. Making a real connection and being given a name. Becoming calmer, fiercer, more herself.

The summer before sophomore year, she shows up at Mordred. She sees Kristen's room, Cassandra's chapel. She whispers a prayer and the altar flickers with starlight.

They sit on Kristen's bed and Bee talks quickly and quietly.

"I don't want to be there anymore. I can't be anything other than your sister."

And Kristen, the girl she looks up to more than any other, smiles.

"Hey girlie."

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i KNOW it’s not what will happen but funniest timeline is the one where Buddy creates his own god Bakarath through sheer conviction

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"the ratgrinders, traumatised and manipulated teens, could have been redeemed if that subplot was explored and developed more" and "the bad kids, also traumatised, and in a life/death situation, are not responsible for healing these fellow kids" are opinions that can and should co-exist

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the rat grinders x who are you really

for all my rageguy enjoyers out there. major fhjy spoilers so proceed with caution...

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it was played as a joke but

there's something genuinely harrowing about gorgug and kristen on the deck of the ship, pelted by rain, swarmed by dragons, these two teenagers looking at each other with wide eyes trying to bury the fear down deep, and

do you remember when we died?

they were freshmen, they were children, they were two years younger but it feels like a hundred hundred years ago

it feels like yesterday, because deep down they're still that boy hiding his too large frame behind a metal flower and a girl stuffing her too large personality into the pages of her bible

do you remember when we died?

the ship rocks violently with cannon fire, hands of fear and divinity and loss creeping from the clouds

do you remember the day you lost your faith?

do you remember a forest so sharp it cut you clean through?

do you think we ever woke up?

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Honestly, the way that the cast and the fandom remembers Kalvaxus is really funny to me because... he was not that guy. Kalvaxus was strict but never quite mean. He had a very no nonsense approach to his job, but had to do a lot of the more stable parts of administration considering the other person involved with the day to day running of the school was Arthur Aguefort, a deeply unpredictable hubristic cokehead with all the power in the world.

The Bad Kids - more specifically Adaine - said that she really liked the school and thought he was a really good vice principal - the episode where it was revealed he was evil. When he saw Fabian randomly hit Gorgug, he told Gorgug that he shouldn't apologize for being randomly assaulted. When he handed a ticket to Adaine, he hesitated because Adaine was clearly on the verge of a panic attack. He gave Jawbone a job. He was genuinely trying to help the Bad Kids after Aguefort did some typical Aguefort shit and killed himself in front of them. He absolutely presented himself as a very helpful adult authority figure who maybe wasn't nice but he came off as trustworthy and largely fair.

Is any of that his true "deep down" personality? Obviously not. He's a banker, a libertarian, and an imperialist conqueror. He'll allow a few select students to be influenced onto this path. He can't say he approves of the Harvestmen being at his school but they're a good expendable workforce that he can discard afterwards to prove that despite being fiscally conservative, he is an ally and he is trans inclusive. He takes his little pleasures. Murdering Riz's father. Poisoning Aguefort, making him too stupid to see what his right hand is doing. Conspiring with his horrible capitalist bank that doesn't give out pens or lollipops. Investing in stocks, consorting with gangs of creepy tieflings. And when the mask is off he lets forth a storm of viciousness, hate, malice, verbal cruelty. Which is pretty par for the course for being stuck with teenagers for five hundred years, tbh.

But again, he has been doing this song and dance for five hundred-ish years, playing the role of the helpful authority figure. Dragons - particularly chromatic dragons like Kalvaxus - are infected with an absolutely massive ego, a destructive sense of pride that compels them to dominate, collect, amass, always amass wealth. It's baked into their immortal souls. They go to places, they commit violence on things there, and then they collect their rewards. It's a vicious cycle, and not dissimilar to the violent destructive cycle that adventuring tends to follow.

So when you take his ability to ever conquer, destroy, rule, devour, amass wealth.

Being good. At this stupid fucking JOB. That he HATES. Teaching teenagers. That he HATES. At a school. That he HATES. With only one man who knew what he was really like, the real him, only one man he didn't have to deceive, and it's the INSANE COKE SNORTING MOTHERFUCKER KEEPING HIM HERE.

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starcrossed saphics

i am not gonna be ok if they don't end up happy together this took 3 and a half hours total

full versions of each half beneath the cut

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something something adaine has always struggled with feeling like there is something wrong with her, that she is not enough, that she is wrong somehow. she starts making friends and tries to unlearn the idea that she is hard to love and not worth the effort. then there’s a boy who might have a crush on her, who seems sorry for what his party is doing, and she doesn’t know how she feels about it. but no, he was just using her, because why would anyone care about adaine abernant? something something