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New plush project: a six inch (2x life size!) plush Willis from my Webcomic Awful Hospital. The comic is now ten years old, but this will be its first plush project! I decided to go through kickstarter and stuffedanimalpros like my past plushes, because I get to keep a bit more that way than if I did one of those makeship or youtooz ones. I might still try those for my next thing! A different thing!!! This needs around 50 orders to get made, and will use most of the $2500 initial budget to product a run of 100. Just the one batch! 100 people can get a Willis maybe, and that's probably it!

This also helps sustain my general existence while working every day on multiple things (but mostly still to do with Mortasheen)

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This update is the last we'll see of Cheryl, her dolphin "friend" or her terrible little dog for probably a good while

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Patreon exclusive review article! I Saw the TV Glow is considered a "horror" movie, but it's hard to say whether it really has a genre. It's a movie about two kids who aren't quite sure who they are what reality they're living, and it's about a lot of things that real people might experience. I review the movie with a lot of spoilers, then talk about its "villain" or "monster," if you assume there really is one. The reality level of the narrative is ambiguous, but the real question is whether that actually makes a difference.

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Another experimental patreon thing; little short narrated videos reviewing some of my little objects.

Audio quality isn't GREAT (you can hear my vocal pops and clicks and stuff, ew!) but it'll do for now

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Reposting my review of Vampire Clay because it only ever got four comments; I forgot to put it on the site's front page!

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It's December 1st. Halloween is BACK!!!

This is my detailed start-to-finish creature review of the thirteen episode series, My Daemon.

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BIZARRE MOVIE MONSTER REVIEW: VAMPIRE CLAY!

I put this up as a preview article on my Patreon early this year, or maybe it was late last year? Time is a mystery!!! This is one of my favorite monster movies of all time since I saw it, and part of that is its amazing soundtrack that consists of original japanese swing/rock songs for some reason. Or maybe they're a different genre, I don't know, sounds like both swing and rock to me.

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ALSO ON STORENVY HERE

ONCE UPON A DARK TIME IN THE TERROR AGES SOME MORON SCARED THE WORLD TO DEATH (GEE THANKS PAL!!!!!!!) BY WRITING A STORY CALLED "THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD." THE STORY WAS SO DARK AND GROSS THAT ANYONE WHO READ IT GOT SCARED IN REAL LIFE ALSO.

NOW MANY CENTURIES LATER THE SAME TWISTEFIED AUTHOR IS PUTTING THE STORY IN REAL PAPER YOU CAN TOUCH ALTHOUGH THE STORY IS STILL FAKE (………OR IS IT…………..) ALONG WITH SEVERAL OF THE ORIGINAL RELATED STORIES AND A BUNCH OF BRAND NEW ONES TOO SCARY TO PUT ON THE INTERNET!! ALSo the new stories aren't entirely in caps lock anymore because that got old if they were LOUDER you would get scared so hard you would quite possibly die to death for all time. This small thin paperback prints and ships in time to ruin thanksgiving or maybe christmas!!!!!!!

BRAND NEW STORIES INCLUDE:

THE MOST MURDERED GIRL IN THE WORLD: One day a girl did not listen to her mother, and got murdered by all the murderers in the world at once. The power of almost 100 murders at once transformed her forever…but into what!? The clue is in the title, but you'll never guess. heh heh heh.

THE TRUEST CRIME: one day there was a crime so terrible you will not be able to read what the bad guy did without throwing up your guts at how evil it was. Let's just say it sends 100 MILLION BABIES to prison…and that's only the beginning………

THE BODYLESS DOG: what happens when a dog gets its body cut off and doesn't die!? Well he isn't happy about it I can tell you that much.

VAMPIRE HANDS: this story is about YOU and the time your hands turned into the hands of a vampire. Maybe you think having to keep your hands in tiny coffins all day long doesn't sound so bad but that is only one of the more than one things you have to do when you have vampire hands!!!!!!

THE INVISIBLEST KNIFE: in this story you accidentally kill everyone and everything you care about and even ruin a hot dog completely. Don't worry! There's no such thing as the invisiblest knife! I am looking around right now and I don't see it anywhere. Do you??

WHEN ALL THE STEEL TURNED INTO WORMS (and it was not my fault!!!) this is one of the LONGEST stories (more than two pages!) in the book and is about when one day all the steel in the world became worms that were scared of humans so if you even looked at a car it would fall apart from all the worms running away into the dirt. Again these are descriptions and not the whole stories so this is just one of the things that happens!

THE DAY IT RAINED THE HEADS FROM SPACE: what happens when a really sharp human space probe meets a planet where everyone is the same exact height and always stands in a line on a perfectly flat plane?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?? Well they aren't happy about it I can tell you that much.

THE DOG THAT WAS TOO LONG: you like dogs, do you??? Well sometimes wishes come true but sometimes…sometimes wishes suck and were stupid to make actually. Fool.

THE WEIRD GUY: don't worry, there's no such thing as a weird guy, and if there was, it would not turn out to have been you all along! Pretend you didn't read this massive spoiler.

THE GHOST'S GHOSTS: everyone knows a ghost is twice as scary as a regular person, but what about a ghost's ghost? Obviously that would be twice as scary as a regular ghost. A twisted tale of how the human race is exterminated several hundred times in a row.

DARKNESS MOM: the worst most awful most disgusting scariest monster in the WORLD!! You will TERRIFIED to read about this mom who is TOO TALL and has a GROSS TOO LONG TONGUE and SHARP MONSTER HANDS and if she GETS YOU she will make you be IN TROUBLE all the time for like NO reason!!! NOOOO!!!!!!

THE THINGS THAT DID THE WRONG THINGS: you better not read this secret government list of things that do the wrong stuff!! The secret guys will catch you and you'll have to go to secret jail so you don't go telling everyone about anomanolies such as THE WORST TURTLE (three words, FOOL: spikes on it) or THE CLOCK THAT TELLS TIM (tim is alright though this is not his fault)

THE HALF MURDERER: what if a normal person and a murderer had a baby? It's more likely than you think! Or shall we say…half more likely…mwa ha ha ha

THE REVENGE OF THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD: THE LONG FEARED SEQUEL (WARNING: this one is in capitol letters again, it is PULLING NO PUNCHES!)

…………AND MAYBE SOME MORE IF I FEEL LIKE IT! *actually some more are already in it I just might add a couple more than that even

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Today we review all of Duskmourn's SCARECROWS!

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For October 13th it's THE JOLLY BALLOON MAN! I feel weird that the daily review special is all I've done for October this year, when I usually load it with a daily or semi daily standalone article, but at the same time, writing about individual magic cards is a whole lot more fun and inspiring than I thought it would be? I hope you enjoy the funny silly story that this review turns into. It's funny, and silly!!! JUST LIKE THE BALLOON MAN

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Originally I also was going to joke about this being Fox Mulder's nightmare entity but then I had to stop and question if it would actually be his nightmare or it would be his fetish dream

Duskmourn Creature Review today:

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Entry 9 is BALUSTRADE WURM!

I wound up with so much to say about this single simple concept and design?? Especially since it has a whole other design in an alt artwork card! I also end up with a lot to say about balustrades, whatever THOSE are. Pfft.

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Entry 8 is a double review, because the demon hinted at by POSSESSED GOAT also has its own card!

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Had to catch up with three of these at once today! (prev two days I was super busy!) entry 7 is Silent Hallcreeper!

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Review 6: The Appendage Amalgam!

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Tonight's Duskmourn creature review is the Scrabbling Skullcrab!

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YEAH!!!!