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source: pinterest

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2025

BE A STUDENT OF WHAT YOU ADMIRE

DO IT BADLY RATHER THAN NOT AT ALL

TO DESPAIR IS TO CEDE VICTORY TO THOSE WHO DO NOT DESERVE IT

BROADEN YOUR CULTURAL HORIZONS

REVEL IN THE ANALOGUE

ACTION ABSORBS ANXIETY

GRIEF IS PRODUCTIVE; GUILT IS NOT

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Black Women winning the Grammy for Album of the Year Natalie Cole - 1992 Whitney Houston - 1994 Lauryn Hill - 1999 Beyoncé - 2025

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Lessons from Last Night...

It’s been a while since I’ve done a storytime with lessons, so let’s get into an unexpected adventure from last night. What started as a regular Saturday in London quickly veered into the extraordinary when my childhood best friend—a Cambridge grad with a talent for moving in exclusive circles—called me with a last-minute invite to a black-tie murder mystery event. Thanks to her knack for dating men with impressive resumes (think like board members and the likes), I suddenly found myself on the guest list for a night that felt like it was plucked straight from a movie.

Cue the scramble: I had exactly 93 minutes to power-walk to and through High Street Kensington, find a dress and heels that said “effortless elegance” on a budget, sprint back to my flat, curl my hair, slap on makeup, and grab my clutch before meeting her. We barely had time for a shot before a black car arrived to take us out of London and toward the Cotswolds, I think? No clue; it was pitch dark, and all I saw were endless trees.

When we pulled up to the mansion, my jaw practically hit the cobblestones. There was a literal tower attached to the house (Castle? Estate?). Walking inside felt like stepping into another time; the guests were immaculate, the décor was insane, and the place had a mystique that made me think of Eyes Wide Shut. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I was the only Black person in the room, and the crowd seemed full of people whose lineage and wealth had roots as deep as the mansion’s foundations. But with the help of copious amounts of champagne and the pulling of years' worth of social tips to the forefront of my brain, I held my own to the very best of my ability.

Anyway, the evening ended up being great. It was all very Agatha Christie, but with a contemporary twist. And through the entire event, I found myself observing more than speaking (not only because I really had zero association with anyone there but also because I have a very obvious American accent and I really couldn't stomach the idea of being asked how I feel about the election because the answer would unequivocally be "horrible, just horrible".). So I picked up on the way this world operates and the subtle dynamics of the crowd. And here are the lessons that stuck with me:

1. Master the Art of Subtlety

In English high society, understatement is everything. Here, less is truly more, and the power lies in being quietly present, listening intently, and engaging with subtlety. This isn’t the place for grand entrances or big gestures. A self-assured smile, steady eye contact, and a polite nod can go further than a witty one-liner. Let your confidence radiate through calm, understated gestures rather than trying to make a big impression.

2. Read the Room and Time Your Words

Before diving into a conversation, observe how others engage. Listen closely, watch for cues, and understand the rhythm of interactions. In this world, timing is crucial—a single well-placed comment can carry more weight than a whole conversation. Rather than steering the conversation, align with its flow. It shows poise and proves you’re both observant and adaptable.

3. Speak to the Right Topics

The best conversations aren’t built on titles and résumés but on shared cultural touchstones. In high society, conversations lean heavily into art, literature, travel, and a nuanced understanding of history. Have a play, exhibition, or travel anecdote up your sleeve—it’s an easy way to show depth and cultivate meaningful dialogue without feeling the pressure to impress.

4. Blend with the Dress Code

Black tie was the order of the night, and the elegance was in the details. I opted for a classic black silk gown, paired with understated jewelry and a classic red lip. In high society, timeless pieces make a statement. By blending seamlessly with the crowd, you signal a sense of belonging and respect for the occasion without shouting for attention.

5. Lean Into the Event’s Theme

The murder mystery theme was both a conversation starter and a way to break the ice, so we leaned in. Making witty observations or subtle jokes about the mystery kept the conversation flowing naturally. When you engage with the event’s theme, it not only shows you’re genuinely present but also makes connecting with others almost effortless.

6. Confidence Is Silent but Unmissable

The guests who held the room weren’t the loudest; they were the ones who seemed completely at ease, moving with an unspoken confidence. It’s not about taking center stage but about holding yourself with a calm assurance. This kind of self-assurance is magnetic—it’s the quiet confidence that’s noticed and respected.

7. Grace and Ease Over Extra vagance

In these spaces, extravagance is an afterthought, and grace takes center stage. Grace in your posture, ease in your movements, and an openness in your expressions make you a presence. Avoid fidgeting or looking over-impressed; instead, practice calm gestures and a composed demeanor. Grace goes beyond appearance; it’s felt in how you carry yourself.

These lessons aren’t just about blending in; they’re about understanding the dynamics of confidence, elegance, and subtlety. The goal is to let your presence speak before you do—and to do it all with a quiet self-assurance that says you belong without having to say it aloud, a skill that I still am in the process of mastering.

Lovingly, Elle

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POV: You're a wealthy wife

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The Old Money Book: How to Live Better While Spending Less: How to Live by Byron Tully.

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This is your sign to keep showing up for yourself....

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I will marry a man who loves me and can provide for me abundantly.

I will marry a man who inquires about my thoughts, feelings, and ideas regularly and genuinely.

I will marry a man who gives me everything I want.

I will marry a man who gives me free reign of his finances.

I will marry a man who gives me a life where nothing is unattainable.

I will marry a man that my family loves.

I will marry a man who treats my friends as if they are his friends.

I will marry a man who is proud to call himself my husband.

I will marry a man with whom I can communicate with clearly and openly.

I will marry a man that makes me smile as l'm falling asleep.

I will marry a man that makes me want to be the best version of myself.

I will marry a man who buys me everything I want because he understands this is what makes me happy.

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Ayo Edebiri for the June 2024 issue of VANITY FAIR Magazine

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a depiction of black women in their element ✨

thefemininitysociety

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I love seeing myself happy and healthy.

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I dream,

I believe,

I receive.

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Little Miss still learning the language

Podcast

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I know this isn't ninjago guys but I finished this 17 hour painting for my art class and I was proud of it so...enjoy.

I love Egypt fun fact about me. :)

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anthracite