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the order of rodentia sounds like a circle of knights from ages past but you may be surprised to learn these noble warriors are still fighting their holy battles to this day

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you can just feel the self-congratulatory glee of whoever named this paint this color, like they truly thought they were so funny and i think you're so funny paint color naming man good job paint man

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Tip: You can cuddle with your friends.

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write in the tags your nationality/which country you're from!

for USAmericans: write your state instead of USA to avoid having a way-too-easy yes sweep

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Okay, poll time. How many languages do you have a smattering of? This includes everything from fluency all the way down to knowing just a word or two.

(Proper nouns and adopted words don’t count.)

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Sleight-of-hand artist Apollo Robbins is so stealthy that he once started a conversation with Jimmy Carter’s Secret Service agents and had everything out of their pockets within minutes. They were completely unaware that he’d acquired their badges, watches, Carter’s itinerary, and the keys to his motorcade. Source Source 2

Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty

Via The New Yorker:

“In more than a decade as a full-time entertainer, Robbins has taken (and returned) a lot of stuff, including items from well-known figures in the worlds of entertainment (Jennifer Garner, actress: engagement ring); sports (Charles Barkley, former N.B.A. star: wad of cash); and business (Ace Greenberg, former chairman of Bear Stearns: Patek Philippe watch).

He is probably best known for an encounter with Jimmy Carter’s Secret Service detail in 2001. While Carter was at dinner, Robbins struck up a conversation with several of his Secret Service men. Within a few minutes, he had emptied the agents’ pockets of pretty much everything but their guns.

Gifs via: youtube/NBC

Robbins brandished a copy of Carter’s itinerary, and when an agent snatched it back he said, “You don’t have the authorization to see that!” When the agent felt for his badge, Robbins produced it and handed it back. Then he turned to the head of the detail and handed him his watch, his badge, and the keys to the Carter motorcade.”

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basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

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The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it

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Its so sad there isnt a jorking it equivilent for food

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platonically shooting my friendshot hoping I don't get acquaintance-zoned

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blood, gore and men moaning

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hey who wants to see the poly critical furry art from reddit

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OK because apparently it's unclear:

Transmisogyny AND transandrophobia are both very real forms of bigotry and if you hate trans men so much that you think they never face difficulties due to being trans masc/men specifically then gtf off my blog. Transmisogyny is awful and is incredibly prevalent and dangerous even within the queer community and if you disagree with that you can also leave.

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S5 prediction we get a weird ass cloud