boootydialler

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[boootydialler]

[boootydialler]

[boootydialler]

i love saying fuck me because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly

[boootydialler]

[boootydialler]

[boootydialler]

Holidays stop being fun when you are old enough to realize you are in a low-income family and your parents stress a lot about the holidays.

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When you’re watching a sunset, someone on the other side of the world is watching the same sun rise.

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contrary to social media developers’ beliefs i have literally never once wanted to see posts in anything other than chronological order

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“ur” and “u r” are just as different as your and you’re

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friend??

friend!!

i’m coming friend

i’m here i love u

[boootydialler]

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Your daughters do not exist to give you grandchildren

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worlds biggest salami

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Yesterday at work this lady was buying a leaf plate and when I told her I thought it was cute she said “Yeah, it’s perfect for my treehouse!”. I was like “oh, do you have kids?” and she said “yeah, I have kids, they just aren’t allowed in my treehouse” and honestly same

[boootydialler]

MY LONGEST YEAH GIRL EVER

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