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boosifer · 11 months

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Oh boy howdy doody… I’ve been confounded. Quite a conundrum indeed.

So like. Important disclaimer: bitches be overthinking quite literally every interaction with someone while pretending that nothing is wrong and forgetting that they’re supposed to be taking meds for this kinda thing. It’s me, I’m bitches. All the espresso depresso thoughts were creeping in and I was wallowing instead of using the tools Brittany gave me to disperse the anxiety. My bad. Gonna try to not be overthinking as much?? Hopefully????

Back to the important crisis update: flirting was indeed happening!! Written confirmation was received on the matter and a conversation was had. This, of course, only occurred because I ignored my sister’s advice and sent the most awkward text asking if I was reading the situation wrong, naively thinking this coffee addict was asleep. ONLY TO FIND OUT. Mans was pulling an all-nighter. What a heart attack that was! But the important thing is that flirting is happening!!

It’s really fucking cute actually. We’ve been sending these pickup lines back and forth, and his are so wholesome?? Genuinely made me blush, not that I’ll ever admit it— he even made one with an asparagus pun, like ughhhhhhhh. And one of them was Bob Ross themed and it said I’m a work of art??? Like, my heart can’t handle this babe. He’s such a dork and I want to kiss him even more now, but I digress. Despite how cringey the pseudo confession text probably was, he was so sweet about it. Told me that it was up to me what this meant and how he didn’t want to put me on the spot or anything.

Like baby, please put me on the spot. Let’s talk about this, get it allll out in the open. I need dates, reasons, proof of crush, the whole works. He just seems so wonderful and I’m over here like this loser grandma who finally figured out how to socialize at the local bingo club. I’m just trying not to be too much right now. I don’t want to seem clingy or anything to freak him out, I really enjoy talking to him.

We’ve got a coffee-brunch thing planned for Monday (I totally didn’t ask off of work so I could…), so maybe we’ll talk more about it then? Kinda difficult to talk much about it in the office, so it’ll be nice to hang out one on one. Maybe it could even be labeled as a date! I’m hopeful anyways.

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boosifer · 1 year

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Did you find this? Are you reading this right now??

Because I swear to all that is good and holy, it feels like every time I post something on here you reach out again. You text me and I start wondering if we’re flirting all over again. It seemed like it was sort of maybe flirting anyways— at least my friends seem to think so. Can’t believe I worked up the courage to indirectly agree that you’re hot.

You’ve got to let me know. Obviously I’m going to be embarrassed out of my fucking mind if you somehow managed to find this. Probably gonna drop the lab and move to the middle of nowhere to live out the rest of my days in shame. But!! I still deserve to know, and you can make whatever statements you’d like before I skedaddle away. We can have our own little code word, something secret for just us to know. Maybe…. sarsaparilla? Use the code word if you know please.

Were you flirting? Or did I get way too into my own thoughts and create something that isn’t really there?? Like sweetie,,, I need some answers please and thank you.

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boosifer · 1 year

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Wouldn’t it be nice if I had some actual answers for once in my life?

Wouldn’t it be so unbelievably fucking great if I didn’t overthink quite literally every minute interaction???

I was so hopeful and excited about the possibility of this being something, and now I don’t know. I really don’t know. We had another little friendship date getting coffee like two weeks ago, but nothing since. And I’ll send messages and joke around in person, but it feels like I’m forcing the interactions? I’m not sure how to phrase it exactly, but it’s like he’s pulled away in messaging while still acting normal in front of our friends.

I’m worried he overheard me telling the gal pals about Mr “leaves +4 years of art and gifts at my mailbox unannounced” calling me and misunderstood. I confided in him about the situation and tried to convey that I’m okay now. Obviously I’m lonely, but I miss having that constant texting as opposed to the relationship or the person themself. I don’t want my coffee boy to think that this is just a game to me or anything like that. I care, apparently way more than I thought.

I don’t even know if he’s really thought about our interactions and hangouts like I have. Again, he could just be being a friend. But then he threw me for a loop again by saying something like, “if this is gonna go any further.” Granted, we were arguing about fucking vegetables. But still! It’s flirty!!

He’s just so refreshing. And I know I keep saying that, but it’s the best way I can to describe the sensation. I’m just overall lighter now compared to before, and it’s helping to have that connection. He’s going on a trip now and he’s been busy preparing on top of schoolwork, but I’m hoping we’ll get more friendship date hangouts once he’s back.

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boosifer · 1 year

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Buckle up babes -- it's time to overthink

So, the lovely friendship date hangout thing happened yesterday <3

It was so much fun! I had a last-minute freakout once I got to the thrift store, but it went great. He seemed a little nervous or maybe just slightly awkward at the beginning too which actually helped calm me down. Like it wasn't just me being weird. We walked around the store, shopping and talking, and it was really fun! Next up was the coffee shop (of course). We were twinning with the lavender lattes that were really good, and then we just sat and talked. I legitimately had no idea how much time was passing. We sat there talking for like two hours with one drink each until it was almost time for closing. It was a bummer leaving, but I think he had a great time too which is what matters. And like, I'm real confused now.

Again, I'm not super ready to jump straight into another relationship or anything, but I really enjoy our talks and spending time together. And I wasn't going to put much thought into whether or not it was a date, but now my sister got me thinking otherwise? Because I mentioned in a text like a week or so ago that it gets boring being by myself at the apartment and I thought that was the end of it really. Like yesterday, he asked what plans I had for the weekend and we were chatting for a bit, and I got this sinking feeling like maybe it was a pity hangout??? Which would suck. And we were texting later about how we enjoyed it (and all the other pleasantries), and he mentioned us having a shared coffee bucket list so of course I brought up the cat cafe as my number one. And this man really just whips out "We should go next weekend!"

Like,,, sir. SIR. My heart cannot handle this much stress. But again, part of me is thinking that this is like out of concern or something. So I was talking to my sister about it because she was asking if it was a date (like ma'am I would also love to know the answer to that), and she posed a different thought: what if he was asking about weekend plans to try and schedule another maybe date-hangout situation? She seems convinced that he's awkward like me and is easing into the first dates without calling them dates so it's more casual and comfortable. My friend also shares this opinion.

And I just don't know what to think??? Because, again, I feel weird about immediately jumping into another relationship just because it feels like I shouldn't be over the other one this quickly I guess. But I really enjoy spending time talking with my plant dealer. It's just so easy to talk to him and joke around (even though I have to proof read my texts before I hit send to make sure I sound cool and funny), and he's so cute and sweet. Like, he got pouty when I wouldn't let him carry our shopping basket until I gave in and he perked up. It's so unfair. And now I'll have this little voice in the back of my mind whispering about the "does he? does he not?" constantly.

So... wish me luck I guess.

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boosifer · 1 year

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It is Tuesday evening and thoughts are being thunk :)

Clarity to come (maybe???) tomorrow

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boosifer · 1 year

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this annoyingly-cute, endearing little shit

Again, this is just a safe space for me to try to understand my own emotions regarding my lovely, likely-unrequited plant dealer crush. Damn, can you imagine if he somehow managed to find this? I think I would actually cry and maybe drop our shared lab. There's too many details that would add up to be a coincidence, and he's not a stupid guy. I don't even know if he'd like acknowledge it or say anything to me which kinda seems worse. I'd simply have to drop out and move to Canada and become a moose farmer-- there are no other alternatives in this scenario. Here's hoping that doesn't happen. Anyways:

We've known each other for little over a year now, but we really only started talking in earnest this past month (wonder why...). I guess part of me was scared to try and form those relationships with people surrounding me, like some part of me was worried about catching feelings? Or maybe it's as simple as I finally decided to stop letting my anxiety win and start engaging with people like I've always wanted. And it's been great so far! I'm getting invited to do things and I finally feel like I'm doing something right. Even if it means more complicated feelings. I always look forward to texting him because the conversations are really refreshing. Like we can just kinda joke and get to know each other better.

He's just... so nice. Like, he really gave me a live plant that he grew from a seedling, just because I mentioned how pretty I thought his monsterras were and how I like plants too? And he gave me his number in case I had plant questions and has continued to entertain my chaotic texting. Like, I'm always worried I come across as annoying (or, God forbid, desperate), but he's so chill and genuine in our conversations. Definitely a green flag that I can tease and be teased in such a relaxed, friendly way. I also just love how he always manages to be kind and put in effort to engage me in group conversations. I feel like I'm a bigger part of the group now through a combination of mine and his efforts. He's so so smart, like way smarter than me, and I enjoy hearing him talk about his work and how he thinks around problems. And he really does fulfill all the kinda dorky nerd boy dreams with his professor-looking vibes. It really compliments his eyes and the freckles!! Really really appreciate the subtle freckles. Plus, tall boy. We like a tall boy.

There's times where I almost feel like he could have feelings for me, but then we'll go a while without talking or he'll keep the talks super casual. I really don't even know him super well I guess, but I'm trying to learn. For all I know, he could have a partner or not be interested in having a relationship. But he posed the idea of going thrifting together and even getting coffee afterwards (caffeine addicts unite!), and I'm acting like a goddamn middle-schooler wondering if that means he like-likes me and wants it to be a date. Either way, I'm really looking forward to Tuesday <3

He just feels like a safe person to have a crush on. It's so nice to not have this sense of looming dread over whether or not this could be something more. For now, I'll just enjoy my delulu thoughts and enjoy having a good friend (and plant dealer). I know this is my final year of school and I have other priorities, so I'm not super desperate to jump into another relationship right away anyways. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

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boosifer · 1 year

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09-16-23

So, I've been miserably failing at eating healthy, going to the gym, journaling every day, etc. like I promised Mom I'd try to do. I guess this is my attempt at fixing the journaling issue at least? The journal is beautiful, don't get me wrong, and I love writing and doodling along its pages. But... one thing I've learned is that leaving physical evidence of these thoughts doesn't always go well. I'd rather have the additional security of this hellsite that I 1000% know my family won't go anywhere near.

I don't really expect anyone to engage with this blog-- that isn't the point. It just feels freeing I guess?? Getting it out without having to worry about 'the mortifying ordeal of being known.' I just have a lot of thoughts-- constant, never-ending strings of thought that keep getting tangled up in emotions and doubt and the ever-present anxiety of living. Feel free to ignore everything (i.e. please ignore everything).

Things have been better lately, even with my recent breakup. 4 years, down the drain. Jesus, that felt so morbid typing out-- so... cynical. Britney (lovely therapist lady) said it's common for people to sometimes start mourning the relationship even as it still exists; like, the doubts and resentment builds up silently over the months and there starts to exist some emotional distance before the conscious decision to end the relationship enters the periphery of your thoughts. I feel like I can't admit to anyone how long I thought about breaking up. There's so much guilt there, knowing I let things continue as normal when I was stewing in my doubts and curiosities about other paths. In the end, I know I made the right decision, but God it still sucked. I lost my best friend, the one person I talked to every day and night, and there's so much time now. Everything feels so much bigger now, like I'm standing in an empty cavern and every thought is echoing around and around and around.

And on top of all that fun pedantic, melancholic bullshit, my delusional ass has apparently decided to start crushing hard on a different friend. But that's a separate post.

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boosifer · 2 years

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I don’t know what I expected to be honest.

ok, here’s my uquiz: which type of love interest would you be in a dating simulator? :)

#socially awkward brains of the team #the socially awkward brains of the team #quizzes

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boosifer · 2 years

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repeat after me: fuuuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaat

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boosifer · 2 years

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wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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boosifer · 3 years

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

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boosifer · 3 years

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arabic poetry is so beautifully yet painfully romantic, i mean “they asked “do you love her to death?” i said “speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life" and “because my love for you is higher than words, i've decided to fall silent" could have got jane austen crying and shaking

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boosifer · 3 years

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I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

#resources

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