boredomstrikesback

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Why doesn’t anyone ever think that if they were on a deserted island that they’d need sunscreen... like yeah food and stuff is important but like melonoma is scary too

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I’ve come to the conclusion that out of all the Disney characters I am Meg in the part of the Hercules movie when she’s singing that she’s been there and done that, but the muses are telling her that she’s kidding herself cause I’ve never witnessed something as relatable to my thought process.

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I think it’s funny when people say if they like someone it’s easy to tell cause they’ll ruin their sleep schedule to talking to them..... lol my sleep schedule as already mess up before I met you don’t think me liking you has anything to do with me being up at 3am

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Someone let me know why my comparative Poltics professor just sent an email out at 4am?I didn’t know the highly educated didn’t comply to regular sleep schedules too.

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Last night my brain decided that it would be fun to think of whose nose I would show to a doctor if my nose ever broke and I had to get a nose job...

So at 4 in the morning I decided I’d want Madison Beer’s nose because it would be most suitable

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Just a random shower thought

So in my unpopular opinion (probably)

I think that when people wear short sleeve shirts with a white long sleeve underneath they look like a child whose parent wouldn’t let them go out trick or treating without an undershirt on be cause it was a lil chilly, thank you for coming to my 4am ted talk.

Like this

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Not so pro tip

If you ever feel yourself going back to having feeling for someone you broke up with look at old texts of disagreements or when things weren’t going well and you’ll get annoyed again and poof feelings gone. (repeat if needed)

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when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

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Paid parking at hospitals is extortion and should be illegal

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me writing a sentence

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wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

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Ally Burke

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why tf do I get so emotional at night. who is this night bitch?? she needs to go to sleep.

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It’s spooky season

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There is nothing I could be more excited for than Wendy’s spicy chicken nuggets return😍😍.