borisbubbles

[borisbubbles]

small update

haven't forgotten about the ranking, but i've been listening to a few 2000s recaps to sort of get my mind cleansed of the 2020-tinged darksidedness. i may do something with that later? idk. i may rank the 2000s instead of doing ANYTHING 2026 related, or i may not, we'll see...x anyway, i will start my next write-up soon, which will be on ukraine, so stay tuned for that,and feel free to pelt me with your fave t&m factoids after i've posted it!

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Eurovision 2024: #06

06. NORWAY Gåte - "Ulveham" 26th place

Decade ranking: 25/190

Italy were not the only country to break character in 2024. Norway is well underway towards becoming one of my least favourite countries in this decade, on the basis of increasedly insulting clown car nonsense.

It looked particularly bad in MGP 2024, which appeared to have a two-horse race for the win (and bottom 3 on my ranking) between Gaute from Subwoolfer dressed up like a passive-aggressive super hero robot, and some washed-up losers (forgot their name) bringing a damn' diggity dogturd. Great, I think I'll just KMS, ty.

AND then... all of a sudden... a miracle:

NAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E. E. E. E.

HOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

What an entrance. Away went any reservations I had (and I had them because it's MGP), replaced by the classic OBSESSION AT FIRST SIGHT. 😍😍😍 A scream queen demonstrating the best ever use of a turntable while singing a brutalistic folklore tale, chorus full of lupine vocalizations YES!!!! ALL THE YESSES in the world for the Turbo Strazdas!!!

Of course, my affection for Gåte fully blinded me towards their impending doom because um yeah, "Ulveham" was a total fanwank. OOPS!!!

But to be fair, the song still slaps regardless? The music, the vocals, the build-up, the presentation. The whole package is works and I felt like the appeal was mega obvious?? Why would this not work for Gåte, at least in miniature, when it worked for Go_A? Entries like THESE, that blend folklore with culture and art, are the true heart and soul of Eurivision, not the camp-written teacher pet entries, nor the generic radio pop, nor the insultingly stupid tiktok-coded brainrot that keeps seeping into the contest at an alarming rate. 'Ulveham' is so Norwegian it could be banana on pizza, or a physical manifestation of self-deprication. It should be up there among the greats alongside 'Shum', 'Spirit in the Sky', 'Voila', 'Amar Pelos Dois' and other anthems that embody this principle.

Last place is an infuriating result for what it was, and one of the few misses in the year, fanwank or not. Retroactively it made sense though. It's a difficult song to get into, being sung in medieval Norwegian, with a fully vocalized chorus. Also, the camera work was shit. Why. were. there. so. many. wide. shots. during. the. good. bits?

And of course the final took place amidst the Joost Apocalypse where an Israel televote victory, and the death of Eurovision that would come with it, were looming threats on the horizon, and therefore all plans needed to be abandoned so that Croatia and Switzerland could snag a win.

Regardless of result, Norway delivered a very fun and bold entry that broke the mold and of course Europe's uncultured voting public -the same that would later vote the vile Tommy Cash into second place- paid them for dust. As a wise woman once said, the fans of this show are pieces of shit.

The least I can do, as a small indie ranker, is give them the placement they deserve.

TOP FIVE: Armenia, Croatia, Ireland, Switzerland, Ukraine.

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Eurovision 2024: #07

07. ITALY Angelina Mango - "La Noia" 7th place

Decade Ranking: 29/190

Last year, something utterly surreal happened: After 9 years of male dominance, Italy finally picked a WOMAN to win San Remo. As you can imagine, whatever remained of the collective fandom's brains were immediately fried, as they tried to process this unique anomaly. Spain's entrants brought an Italo-Disco song after being rejected by San Marino, San Marino were represented by a Spanish band singing about their Benifest experience, and now Italy were sending a female-fronted cumbia tune which sounded more Spanish than either of them.

It took a bit longer to fully win me over though. Unfortunately, I am not a sexist, and my inherent contempt for San Remo extends to everyone who parttakes in it, not just the men. I found it bemusing that the eventual San Remo winner sounded so... cheap?

'LA NOIA' :tinned trumpet: 'LA NOIA' :stock guitar riff:

Like, I am vaguely aware that splicing in LoFi effects into upbeat songs is kinda Dardust's thing (is this the composer's equivalent to an 'ad-lib'?), but 'La Noia' sounds like Russ Landau's rejected Survivor: Nicaragua theme at times. 😍

'La Noia' is also not a natural fave of mine, since I'm more of a 'Sing Along' than a 'Dance Along' type of music enjoyer. (That is to say: I can hold a decent tune and absolutely cannot dance... unless you count 'flailing limbs around with no coordination while making stupid faces' as dancing, lol <3)

Fortunately, I eventually embraced the song unironically because (1) it's a cunty bop and (2) like Angelina I despise boredom and welcome anyone seeking to distract me from it. The song was fun, and she was an engaging performer, both vocally and rhythmically, a STRICT departure from the crestfallen indifference with which I sit through Italian entrants sometimes. Finally, an Italian entrant WORTHY of being added into my rotation.

But Angelina also distinguished herself from her predecessors by actually being invested in her own participation. She attended pre-parties and mingled!!! Thanks to Gabe, everyone remembers that it was she who -at the moment where Eurovision was at its absolute lowest- descended to the Press Centre to sing calming songs to the distressed fans and press. WE LOVE A HUMANITARIAN PR QUEEN. An action for which the EBU fined RAI btw. How the fuck is the EBU still alive as an organization?

So of course, Europe paid her efforts back with Italy's lowest result in the decade so far.

Many have already correctly pointed out that the big culprit was the staging, but that's an umbrella term that doesn't cover the specific errors. A energetic dance routine was the correct approach, as girlbops gotta fuckin girlbop and the execution was excellent. The issue was the general aesthetic, which doubled down too hard on the 'Crown of Thorns' line for a song about OVERCOMING BOREDOM. It created a dreary vibe for what is essentially three cheery minutes of music.

That said, having ranked Angelina 7th myself, I agree with the result. I will say it again - it's mostly the men that are unfairly forgiven for inaccuracies women are rated fairly for - and 7th overall is perfect for what 'La Noia' was: the best girlbop in the year. How nice that, now that Eurovision is on its way out, Italian results have finally learned to align with my own personal tastes. ^__^

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Eurovision 2024: #08

08. LITHUANIA Silvester Belt - "Luktelk" 14th place

Decade Ranking: 31/190

The clapping at the start. 😔😔 I miss audience interactions. We're back to that portion of the spreadsheet where I struggle capturing my affection for the song in words!! I dunno, sometimes the review is just that the song is a solid 8.5/10, and that should be obvious to anyone with ears. if 'Luktelk' isn't for you, I'd reconsider whether Eurovision is for you. 'Luktelk' was a very fun and competent banger, tailored for the Euroclub gays and the occasional stray introverts like myself that have been adopted by people with social ability. It's one of those songs that feels both polished and professional without coming across as anti-septic and soulless. A strong uptempo bop in the style of (and frankly, better than) Troye Sivan, by Nemo's token male friend.

It was never going to do anything surprising at Eurovision, though. As soon as we first heard it in Evrovizija.LT we knew it was going to likely win, then effortlessly sail through to the final and -due to being a song by Lithuania in Lithuanian- become a sacrificial lamb to the jury, as they STILL haven't received the memo Lithuania is a real Eurovision country now and their songs are really goddamn' good, at like... a consistent year-to-year basis.

Indeed, Silvester delivered merely the upscaled version of his NF staging, and that's enough to remain a fixture in my lower top ten. He sang, he banged, he bopped. Silvester delivered exactly what he should have, no more, no less, end of. I am making a point by showing the performance in the Grand Final, however. Normally I rank strictly on the bases of the best performance, but it really is worth underlining that the performance shown above is BY FAR Silvester's least fave live of the song, for obvious reasons. It is INSANE that he STILL nailed that under those circumstances, and that really shows his talent as a performer. Almost as insane as qualifying for the final and then feeling like you shouldn't have.

In conclusion: FUCK THE EBU! + Lo and behold YET ANOTHER YEAR where Lithuania is the strongest Baltic 😍 (continued in 2025 as Tavo Akys is indeed better than Bur Man Laimi, but the gap's smaller there). MOVIN' ON UP~

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Eurovision 2024: #09

09. SPAIN Nebulossa - "Zorra" 22nd place

Decade Ranking: 37/190*

*updated to include 2025, which I won't be fully ranking as stated earlier.

Alright, let's do this. I'm skipping gifs - they're time-consuming and making them eats up my CPU, and I have a contest to say goodbye to.

YA SÉ QUE SOY, SOY UNA ~THORRA~ 💋

"Zorra" may not have been the most popular entry in 2024, but it is very dear to me, both musically and thematically.

Imagine that you're pushing towards your sixties, and haven't fulfilled your life long dream of becoming a professional singer yet.

You take the plunge and, despite minimal ability to hold a tune, establish commanding stage presence and wrap a healthy chunk of homosexuality around your bony finger, fully unbothered by what others think of you.

You've just met MOTHER MERY, singing her words of wisdom: "It's made me an EVEN BIGGER BITCH. 😍"

'SOY MAS ZORRA TODAVIA' => One of the better moments in 2024.

You know me. I would NEVER debase myself to abandoning a camp woman for some man (🙄), unless the men themselves are also camp - hence why the three remaining assigned-male-at-birth people still in this ranking are who they are. An old bag s-s-serving cunt while delivering notes flatter than Eden Golan's cleavage absolutely counts as an object worth my adulations. Musically, "Zorra" doesn't disappoint either. It's a pristine Italo-disco with flippant lyrics about Mery being a diva, and owning up to it. It's queer icon material. What does it matter if she's a black sheep whose very nature makes the tiny minds of jealous cunts spin? She's a bitch and a picture perfect one at that. ♥ The act though, I have mixed feelings about. The crowd singing the buzzwords along is FANTASTIC and adds to the level of power ), Mery is awesome as stated earlier. The dancers otoh, are a no from me. The nudity itself doesn't bother me, but here it cheapens the song a bit. 'Zorra' is already like... trite-ass faggory via composition (😍😍😍😍😍) and the act doubled down on that a wee bit too much. The draws are Mery and the song. Of course, the added context of 2025 also makes the act feel worse. Erika wearing a similar outfit to the dancers and being pointlessly censored; the crowd interactions, which have been nixed out of existence because we can't have them for Israel, therefore we can't have them for anyone (in what way is catering to one country's needs while gimping the others *FAIR*?!) Fuuuuuck, Eurovision sucks.

Anyway, a part of me thought - well, hoped - that 'Zorra' could have become a surprise televote magnet. Can you imagine how epic that would have been??? Even a year later, I feel like there is a universe out there where 'Zorra' would have come top half based on a surprisingly high televote. That universe, sadly isn't our own. If it were, we would all have Post-Eurovision Depression, instead of Post-Eurovision Elation.

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Eurovision 2025 - RANKING

I am not wasting posts on this. GOODBYE to this shitty year! HERE'S what the ranking would have looked like: Blue Tier - GREAT 1. Finland - Erika Vikman - "ICH KOMME" (bear in mind she wasn't even top 10 btw) 2. Lithuania - Katarsis - "Tavo Akys" 3. Switzerland - Zoë Më - "Voyage" 4. Albania - Shkodra Elektronike - "Zjerm" Dark Green Tier - GOOD 5. Italy - Lucio Corsi - "Volevo essere un duro" 6. Latvia - Tautumeitas - "Bur man laimi" 7. Luxembourg - Laura Thorn - "La poupée monte le son" 8. France - Louane - "Maman" 9. Sweden - KAJ - "Bara bada bastu" 10. Iceland - VAEB - "ROA" 11. Belgium - Red Sebastian - "Strobe Lights" Light Green Tier - OKAY 12. Poland - Justyna Steczkowska - "GAJA" 13. Germany - Abor & Tynna - "Baller" 14. Malta - Miriana Conte - SERVING 15. Portugal - NAPA - "Deslocado" 16. Serbia - Princ - "Mila" 17. Slovenia - Klemen - "How much time do we have left?" Yellow Tier - MEDIOCRITIES 18. Netherlands - Claude - "C'est la vie" 19 Denmark - Sissal - Hallucination" 20. Greece - Klavdia - "Asteromata" 21. Georgia - Mariam Shengelia - "Freedom" 22. Armenia - PARG - "Survivor" 23. Cyprus - Theo Evan - "Shhh" 24. United Kingdom - Remember Monday - "What the hell just happened?" 25. Croatia - Marko Bosnjak - "Poison cake" 26. Ireland - EMMY - "Laika party" 27. Montenegro - Nina Zizic - "Dobrodosli" Orange Tier - DISLIKE 28. Austria - JJ - "Wasted love" (his victory over the two worst entries in the year only barely dampens my feelings for the song which I have always found deeply unpleasant to sit through) 29. Ukraine - Ziferblat - "Bird of Pray" 30. Spain - Melody - "Esa diva" 31. San Marino - Gabry Ponte - "Tutta l'Italia" 32. Azerbaijan - Mamagama - "Run with you" 33. Czechia - Adonxs - "Kiss Kiss Goodbye" 34. Australia - Go-Jo - "Milkshake man" 35. Norway - Kyle Alessandro - "Lighter" RED Tier - BAD 36. Israel - Yuval Raphael - "New Day Will Rise" (Even without context one of the weakest runners up we've ever had. 'Pain will go BYE' indeed.) 37. Estonia - Tommy Cash - "Espresso machiato" (The worst vocals, the worst music, the worst visuals. He pretended to be the winner while serving trash on purpose. This 'song' was a social experiment, and Europe failed it by voting for it). I'm not doing write-ups on this disaster. I'll focus on finishing the 2024 ranking instead. "Zorra" is out next on that one, and I already have a draft on that. See ya tomorrow!

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I think i'm quitting Eurovision forever. BUT BEFORE I DO, I WILL FINISH MY 2024 RANKING. 😊

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Approval levels ~ ESC Winners

Greatly Approves: Finland Approves: France Slightly Approves: Sweden Slightly Disapproves: Netherlands Disapproves: Austria Greatly Disapproves: Israel

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Excellent qualifiers tonight, may the best blonde win.

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I sincerely hope that is not the case. The entire point of *that* entry is to NOT vote for it eventhough you are being told to vote for it. oh well I can always pretend I'll do a 2025 ranking, put Estonia last and then abandon the ranking forever without further comment.

TV / JURY / BOTH

asterisk = top five

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Oh, I realized I forgot Estonia. Well that's too bad.

TV / JURY / BOTH

asterisk = top five

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TV / JURY / BOTH (handwriting reveal)

asterisk = top five

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"Anyway, we're headed towards a probable top two of Sweden/Israel, which is the most uninspired top two imaginable, although ALBANIA or SWITZERLAND should win in a fair world. (I would also take Belgium and Finland. Out of the other contenders... good lord; none of them but IF WE MUST PICK ONE let it be Sweden then.)"

This year did not improve after tonight.

Can we... please stop doing the stupid? Reinstate juries (give them less weight than the tv if it makes you sleep at night i guess), bin the rotw vote, go back to random draws, bar ANY country currently embroiled in a geopolitical conflict from entering until the matter is resolved.

Four small things that will improve the contest by a massive amount.

The results tonight suggest at least two countries gobbled up points. I HOPE Albania was one of them, because they are one of the two potential winners (the other being Switzerland) that Eurovision desperately needs.

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Mandatory update, I GUESS.

Blergh this year sucks. Probably reviving the 2024 ranking once the 2025 contest is over. The order I picked for 1-9 still holds for my current opinions, and hey, I actually care about these songs.

Not sure whether I *want* to rank the upcoming contest, depending on what wins and whatever glow-ups we're getting. Whatever the answer, I'm inclined to think: "not enough". Here's a summary of the songs I care about in the 2025 contest at present: - ALBANIA - FINLAND - SWITZERLAND. Yes, THREE. Wonderful. There's a few more I enjoy but am not obsessed with (Belgium, Malta, Latvia, Lithuania, Italy, Sweden, and a few others), a few I'm on the fence on but ultimately don't care about (Austria, Poland, France, NL,). And then you have *the rest* which constitute the steepest drop between two years we've ever seen. Would it surprise you to learn I don't even dislike the Israeli entry that much by comparison? It is insipid foremost (and has no business being a contender from a musical perspective, let alone a geopolitical one) a trait its shares with many of this year's batch. I haven't been left this cold by a line-up since 2011. Anyway, we're headed towards a probable top two of Sweden/Israel, which is the most uninspired top two imaginable, although ALBANIA or SWITZERLAND should win in a fair world. (I would also take Belgium and Finland. Out of the other contenders... good lord; none of them but IF WE MUST PICK ONE let it be Sweden then.) Upwards and onwards, maybe towards a different hobby I'd say so I hope you will enjoy reading me rant about fun BG3 builds or something. Or Eurovision 2025 if by some miracle we live in the universe where Trump's America doesn't claim crystal.

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Eurovision 2024: #10

10. UNITED KINGDOM Olly Alexander - "Dizzy" 18th place

Decade Ranking: 35/153 [Above Last Dance, below Monika Linkyte]

Gotta love the commitment to the art here, it's really giving:

I'm getting ahead of myself, but yeah I fucking loved "Dizzy". It was a really good entry that of course, was never going to get a single televote. They exist, and this is one of them.

But first, let's get the unfun bit out of the way: Olly Alexander was bullied. I'm not going to address that any further. Those responsible need to dc from the internet, because it clearly brings out the absolute WORST in them.

In these times of overwhelming negativity, I find it important to be POSITIVE whenever possible, so here we are - 'Dizzy" was far from perfect, but I love it nevertheless. SOMETHING GOOD to come out of Olly's miserable ESC journey.

At the core lies a really, really good song. I'm biased, obv - basic Synthpop IS my safe zone, and "Dizzy" is basic synthpop that perfectly articulates what I want / am missing from my intimate life.

"Why don't you make me DIZZY FROM YOUR KISSES

Take my hand AND SPIN ME

Round and round 'till this MOMENT NEVER ENDS

:sadsynth:"

It's unabashed in its hopeless romanticism, in it's naive optimism and in it's tragic, inevitable conclusion.

Okay, now we address the performance. The vocals, let's get that out of the way, we're not good, but they weren't detrimental enough for me to care. They were a step up from Mae, and the overall packages was still enjoyable, so whatevs.

The staging though, ho boy I have all the opinions. The bottom line is that i LOVE it but I'm also shocked they went with something so... QueerTube coded?

I don't CARE that it was on-stage seppuku.

I don't CARE that it was the raunchiest thing in the goonerverse.

I don't care that it served "Inclusivity, but only for queen men".

I get it, I understand, I accept it. Single Gay Men such as myself and Olly often deeply crave unrequited emotional affection, tenderness, a lover's gentle caress, but as Gay Men have learned to repress those cravings and not speak of them. Including to others.

So instead, we often default to the easiest alternative: Grindr, and all the depravity that comes with it. Kinkster-tinged debauchery as a form of escaping the lonelyness we feel in our hearts.

AND THAT, I think it was what Ted Uni Dom King were intending to convey with their staging. It's a tragic, but poignant combination of inner brittleness and outwards brutality and vulgarity that is so painfully real for so many (too many) strong codependent homosexuals.

THERE ISN'T AN END

THERE ISN'T A START

I DON'T WANNA STOP

I CAN'T GO TOO FAR

Ironically, he took the Sexual Thing way too far, bless. 😍 Literal cowgirling in a family show <3 If the objective was to score televotes they definitely shouldn't have went there. Inclusivity is achieved through including everyone, not by specifically showcasing your marginalized group (hopeless homosexuals => so, me). Considering that the majority of the viewing audience this year were wine mom karens and their tory husbands, it didn't go down quite as well, but like who cares? "Dizzy" pissed off all those that spend their afterlives within the nine circles of hell: bigots, karens, tories, pearl-clutchers, zionists, bleeding hearts, keyboard warriors, eurosnobs and LBG-without-the-T Cigarettes. Press their (nonexistent) hearts, King.

Also, I refuse to call the staging bad, because "Dizzy" frankly, was a bit basic as a song. It NEEDED to go big and take a huge risk, and it took it, fuck the consequences. It showcased a boldness that I can respect.

Furthermore, I just love the concept and how it flows? Like yeah it was erotic, but it was still doing with a sense of aesthetics. The showerroom shenanigans, the shaky cam, the topsy-turvy angles. Olly DESPERATE search for some level of intimacy from his collective of xwitter oomfbots. This was a much better representation of eroticism and desire compared to say, Sekret. (then again, I think "Sekret" borders on harrassment ♥) It suited the song and made it better.

So in this end, yeah. This entry is for me and people like me and NOBODY ELSE lmfao. 😂 Its low placement in the televote is also a massive defeat for the contest, but that's a whole nother discourse and I refuse address that. I'm still looking for a kind, cute beefy himbot who wishes to make me dizzy with his kisses, so DMs are open for applications. The only requirement is that you like Sebi...x

THE RANKING.

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Eurovision 2024: #11

11. GREECE Marina Satti - "Zari" 11th place

Decade Ranking: 38/153 [Above Pasha Parfeny, belowGjon's Tears]

The internet is sometimes so strange yo. Fans went ABSOLUTELY FERAL over "Zari" over release, were sacrificing their firstborn sons (metaphorically. most of them -thankfully- won't ever procreate) declaring it a POTENTIAL WINNER, A CLEAR TOP TENNER. Even now, the chants of ZARI WAS ROBBED are still ongoing even if they calmed down a bit since the Final last month.

Meanwhile, I was sitting on my island thinking "um why do these human skidmarks enjoy that horribe cacaphonous abortion of a song?"

YES, that was the take preshow, and I'm not sorry about it. "Zari" was a lot of shit and most of it was... well... shit. Ethnic instruments that were thrown together with zero regard for harmony, pivoting between "edgy" hiphop and "romantic" downtempo bits at the drop of a pin. The TA TA TA? A throbbing MIGRAINE of a chorus (I guess? I don't get headaches, I only cause them). "Zari" was tailored for Zoomers so again, why is this OLD ASS MILLENNIAL (lol she's three years older than I am) playing up to people half her age... by using TikTok memes? Stick to your generation, nerd. It was like a dozen Greek clichés haphazardly strung together as the ultimate clickbait. Borderline un-fucking-listenable.

Now, I am FULLY aware that take puts me in mortal peril since the first and only step in Marina Satti fandom is to make it your personality. I've accepted the fact that a gang of Zari Zombies will be standing at my front door all

but it's MY TRUTH, children and the truth WILL out!. The song was a mess in studio version and that a hill I'll happily die on! Annoying song + obnoxious fanbase => I was SO ready to rank it low and be veeeeery petty and supercilious about it!!! You know, the usual Me Stuff.

But then... we get to the semi and turns out "Zari" t actually works really well and its fans were right all along lmfao oops!!! MORPH!!

Yeah, "Zari" was just the contemporary and Greek equivalent of "My Slowianie", wasn't it? (you'd better say Yes, because I'll compare them for the rest of this post...x) Esothertic ethic mess that somehow functions as a Stage Piece. Obviously NOT AS GOOD as "My Slowianie" (a social media overlay does NOT compensate for the lack of butter churners - where are the olive press workers, hmm?), but it was a decent enough forllow-up, on the clock ten years after Cleo.

Not a large part in the live being good was Marina herself though. Laryngitis or not, she went HARD.

GIRLBOSS

GASLIGHT

GATEKEEP

This is loads of fun!!! I hear the Satti Stans were disappointed by the stage presentation and that is fuckin' daft. The act was honestly... hot and slay and sold the song. It wasn't without faults (the styling and social media overlays were SOOO tacky lmfaooo), but christ who the fuck cares about a few inaccuracies after Marina took the camera (literally? lol) and ran away with it. Second most charismatic on-stage personality in this year after Ladaniva.

The one-shot camera

into the choreographies

into the explosion of colour

into a diffusion of energy that interacted with the audience-

heralded the metamorphosis from an obnoxious TikTok degenerate into a very well-executed Eurovision entrant that - despite possessing multiple ideas that shouldn't work on paper - got most of its shit right, in the correct dosage. It was more than enough to drag me on board, and I was a massive fucking sceptic! It worked, period.

At the end of the day, 11th place is actually a perfect result for Marina.

First off, it's where I've ranked her myself. (which was unplanned, since i fold the songs into my excel first before I look at their overall placements)

Secondly, I never thought she would be top 10 (then again, the only people who thought that were the contingent of her fanbase that thought she was the main character of Eurovision 2024 (over... Eden, Joost, Baby Lasagna and Nemo? lol.), and also thought she'd WIN which is a whole nother slice of insanity ham.)

And thirdly, some of the things Marina did were better executed by some of the remaining artists so it makes sense she didn't outrank them, here or on the scoreboard. She wasn't the biggest revelation (Ireland was), nor the most charismatic (Armenia were) nor the best girlbop (Italy, sort of), etc. She was very good at all of those things, but not the top dog.

In sum, "Zari" is just too um... unconventional to win many juries over. It did as well as it could have done, and still got left side thanks to a beefy televote. That's a good result in my book. It's good when my negative first impressions are proven unfounded by a strong and engaging live, and even better when these growers are rewarded with highish spots. Such results can only benefit the battles, which needs all the small victories it can get.

Pity I'm really that keen on dragging Olly Alexander into my top ten, huh?

CONGRATULATIONS TOP TEN!!!

(not in order...x)