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“Take his belt off. It’s hard to run away with your pants falling down.”
death of stalin.
‘ um, i could. ’ and he, the wounded, should love that look for him, the inflicter. it’s just that david’s aversion to public humiliation paired with summer’s concept, specifically, promises such blinding secondhand something that he cannot abide.
and it’s going to be a hard pass on the good-as-guaranteed walmart-discount-bin ninja turtle briefs. not the show for him.
‘ or i could… ’ he makes a point of his index finger and brings it down onto the countertop between them. ‘ not do that instead. you could do that, maybe? ’ a beat, a note of judgment stirred in, and: ‘ do you want to? ’
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my heart has not rested in a long time, my immune system is very low, i have not been able to find kale anywhere here—
#schitt's creek rp#good omens rp#indie rp#... i'm not going to tag this properly OR explain my url because i do not HAVE to#enjoy me#sp.
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" what the fuck are you talking about ? that's mad. " / from time ??
death of stalin.
�� ‘ —for starters, ’ says david for starters. ‘ i was talking, like, around you. ’ his gesturing, designed for time and some indistinct unhappy space surrounding, takes the fork toward frantic. ‘ not to you. so this is an opinion i specifically did not ask for. thanks so much. ’
he misaligns his jaw and sets it there. his subconscious nears self-correction one unsettled tick at a time. (there was no for finishers. there was no for middle-ers.)
david lids it with a feeble, distantly apologetic: ‘ thanks. ’
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contact shame makes david spring — from the firmly planted feet upward, a human exclamation mark to the priest’s bold bold bold statement — and then, twice as fast, coil up like a blow-out party favor brought back in on the inhale.
he curls his fists. too aggressive? taps his mouth with whitened knuckles. too— not aggressive enough.
‘ okay, so. ’
‘ is that what we’re. ’ he presses his hands to his cheeks and smiles at him from within the frame, feral and frightened. ‘ that’s what we’re wearing? ’
@swearypriest, call.
#swearypriest#swearypriest 01.#i was thinking specifically of his vestments for this but it can be anything!!#also thank you for consistently humoring me and my impulse decisions#you're the best of eggs
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THE DEATH OF STALIN (2017) SENTENCE STARTERS feel free to modify pronouns etc. as necessary! content warning for violence, death, gore.
“Put that apple down. You’re always eating bloody apples.”
“You’re obstructing the story.”
“You keep saying that. It’s not helping.”
“Shoot her before him but make sure he sees it.”
“Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna get killed, I promise you.”
“This is just a musical emergency.”
“Nobody be alarmed, it’s fine.”
“Sit down! Do not defy me!”
“Time for a cowboy movie.”
“I hope this office isn’t bugged.”
“As God is my witness, I won’t do it. The Lord will see me through.”
“What the fuck? What fucking brainless fire-safety fucking idiot put that there?”
“I’m exhausted. I can’t remember who’s alive and who isn’t.”
“It would be simpler and cheaper if they just drove straight into a river.”
“This is unauthorised narcissism.”
“What took you so long? Did you fucking walk here?”
“Each name you give me is one less bit of you I’ll cut off.”
“Greetings, by the way.”
“Do it or I’ll cut your eyes out one at a time so you can watch it happening.”
“I was testing you. Get used to that sort of challenge.”
“Are you wearing pyjamas?”
“You’re not auditioning for the Bolshoi.”
“Can we just stop twittering like fishwives at the market and concentrate?”
“He’s heavier than I thought he’d be.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? That’s mad.”
“You have a nice long sleep. I’ll take it from here.”
“How can you run and plot at the same time?”
“Look at that herb garden. Does nobody tend it any more? Do people no longer eat herbs any more? Do they only eat weeds?”
“You look dead.”
“I wanted you to know that no matter what happens, I will never ever let any harm come to you.”
“Who said anything about harm?”
“Who would put a lamp on a chair?”
“Fuck my boots!”
“You’re not even a person!”
“You look like you’re about to be bulldozed into a lime pit.”
“Do you want me to hold back your hair?”
“It is my duty to look good for the people.”
“I will deal with whatever horseshit you have presently.”
“Please understand that this is not some cynical ploy.”
“I’m unsure of what’s being proposed.”
“You’re being obstructionist.”
“We’ve got a cobweb large enough to snag a sheep.”
“What’s a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?”
“I mean, I’m smiling, but I am very fucking furious.”
“You never kiss my hand any more.”
“A vile crime has been perpetrated.”
“You’re a fucking stain on that uniform.”
“I should have intercepted his fist with my face.”
“I simply don’t care.”
“You know, I think I misspoke when I said, “No problem.” What I meant was, “No. Problem.””
“Sometimes the shortest speeches are the most memorable.”
“You’re bending and cracking the truth like a human body.”
“What the barrelling fuck are you talking about?”
“Who the fuck in their right mind would want everlasting life?”
“Two clowns, one joke between you. Work on your fucking material.”
“Fuck off or I’ll punch you into a sticky pulp.”
“If you could do me a favour and just nod as I’m speaking.”
“People are looking to me for reassurance and I have no idea what’s going on.”
“Are you blaming the dead for their own death?”
“It’s time you realised who kept the dagger out of your back. Show some fucking respect.”
“I’ve seen what you’ve done. I know the truth. It’s all written down.”
“Only friends could shout at each other like this.”
“He’s using you. He’s using you, and then he’s gonna kill you.”
“I’ve had nightmares that made more sense than this.”
“I hate being sober. It’s a terrible, terrible mood to be in.”
“Stick by my side or you’ll be beaten inside out and strung up for the crows.”
“Act sombre, act respectful, like the rest of us, please.”
“Saddle up, cowboy.”
“Take his belt off. It’s hard to run away with your pants falling down.”
“I’m gonna enjoy peeling the skin from your self-satisfied face.”
“I have been picturing this moment every day for the last three decades.”
“You should feel at home in a lavatory, you little coil of shit.”
“Fucking hell, I’m knackered. It’s been a busy old week.”
“I will bury you in history.”
“You smell like rendered horse.”
“This is how people get killed, when their stories don’t fit.”
“Can you ever trust a weak man?”
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i’m hopping offline for now, but like this and i’ll write you something later :*
#call.#i'll also follow u back later#as i can't do that while i'm sleeping#so don't worry about mutuals etiquette for the time being and Like This while i'm gone
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David + saying fuck
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What does David’s wardrobe say today?
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