bossybumpers - Tumblr blog

[bossybumpers]

Of all the obscure, euphemistic shit I’ve ever seen, this one may take the cake. Vote freedom first? What does it even mean? What are we voting for second? Liberty? Justice? Equality? I’m guessing this is some Right Wing shit about being free from the tyranny of government, but I’m quite happy to have functioning roads and health care services for the poor and elderly and taxes that help redistribute wealth and maintain the services on which we all depend, thank you very much. You can take your bossy little bumper sticker and shove it up your ass!

[bossybumpers]

I mean...where to even begin with this shit. 1. Some parts of America were never green, and this kind of blanket command is disrespectful to the natural diversity of colors found in our landscapes. 2. How? By buying a Prius like you? If only we could all be wealthy enough to do so! 3. What the actual fuck! Stop telling me what to do with your pretentious, elitist fucking bumper sticker!

[bossybumpers]

I am reading a fucking book and if you would stop bossing me around for two seconds you might see that! Dick!

[bossybumpers]

[bossybumpers]

How do you know we have the same mother? That’s so weird and statistically improbable! And stop telling me how to walk! Yer not my physical therapist fer crissakes! Mind your own business and quit worrying about how I walk! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!

[bossybumpers]

You know what? You can fuck right off with that noise! I don’t come to your house and tell you to eat more fucking celery or some shit, do I? You better get  your hipster kale pushing ass up out of my face before I make you!