bouncybirdy

[bouncybirdy]

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[bouncybirdy]

irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

[bouncybirdy]

[bouncybirdy]

looks like the government is doing something about cults

[bouncybirdy]

when you don't like the heel piece on bread loaves but live with somebody who really does

[bouncybirdy]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[bouncybirdy]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[bouncybirdy]

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

[bouncybirdy]

can u imagine if other pieces of media were as scared of calling their monsters what they are as zombie media is about calling zombies zombies

[bouncybirdy]

the fact that a lot of progressive people truly cannot tell the difference between a woman who is sexually objectified, and a woman who is an active sexual participant is bad bad bad bad bad bad bad

[bouncybirdy]

thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit

but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better

it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better

[bouncybirdy]

the oceangate rabbithole is un-fucking-paralleled. what do you mean they left that thing outside in the snow in canada for the entire fucking winter. of course it imploded literally the next time they put it in the water. holy shit.

[bouncybirdy]

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

[bouncybirdy]

Gene Roddenberry created Star Trek at 45.

Frank Herbert wrote Dune at 45.

Katherine Applegate and her husband Michael Grant co-wrote the first Animorphs book at 40 and 42, respectively.

R. L. Stine wrote the first Goosebumps book at 49.

William Hanna and Joseph Barbera created The Flintstones at 50 and 49, respectively.

Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe at 58.

Bram Stoker wrote Dracula at 50.

Laura Ingalls wrote the first Little House On the Prairie book at 64.

Anxiety: You're almost 30 and haven't published a single book. You wasted your chance to become a successful author!

Me: Stan Lee created Spider-Man at age 40. George R. R. Martin wrote A Game of Thrones at age 48.

Anxiety: Oh fuck nvm you do you, king.

[bouncybirdy]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[bouncybirdy]

[bouncybirdy]

Fuck it we bawl (starts sobbing uncontrollably)