bowfootedbastard

[bowfootedbastard]

give a boy a flower and he says awww and smells it and does a cute little twirl. give a girl a flower and she says thankslol and eats it

[bowfootedbastard]

Intersex trans people who's gender matches their SIG but not their AGAB did not have an "easier" time transitioning and are sick of hearing this, by the way.

Intersex trans people are not just like perisex trans people but with a 'head start' on their transition. And most intersex people have had to deal with medical abuse and endless bureaucracy about what should be done about their transition. Intersex trans people have to deal with transphobia AND intersexism. Don't assume an intersex trans person has it better than you, just because they have natal traits you are personally envious of.

[bowfootedbastard]

truly the most american thing is Big Drink. more than late stage capitalism, more than an unparalleled cultural focus on individualism, more than 9/11 jokes

what binds all americans together culturally is Big Drink

and you might be saying "is this fat shaming" or "but mayor bloomberg outlawed Big Drink in nyc" or "gays are so annoying about their iced coffee" or some other dumb comment but no open your minds, Big Drink isn't just sugary or caffeinated beverages

every day i see one of you hydration bitches (affectionate) on the train with a water bottle so big a toddler could drown in it. that too is Big Drink. we literally invented a bigger beer can (tall boy) in wisconsin in the 60s in the service of Big Drink

anyway i never feel more american then when i have Big Drink in my hands

[bowfootedbastard]

[bowfootedbastard]

[bowfootedbastard]

it's like the old saying goes, The customer is always wrong and it's legal to kill them

[bowfootedbastard]

[bowfootedbastard]

Me and my boyfriend have no overlap in what we can handle. I love meeting new people and being in new situations, and one of the reasons I love plane travel so much is because I enjoy having no fucking idea what's gonna happen next and where I'm gonna go. But if there is A Weather anywhere, I Will Die.

My boyfriend generates heat like a furnace and is his happiest at -20 celsius. Unbothered by rain. He's fine with wind, can handle hot weather without any other symptom than loudly bitching about it, fine with bugs, does not attract mosquitoes, doesn't burn in the sun. But if there's an Unexpected Occurrence, a person he doesn't know, or an unfamiliar place, he'll get so anxious that he'll throw up, throw up so hard he'll throw up blood, and then die of bloodloss because he threw up all of his blood.

[bowfootedbastard]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[bowfootedbastard]

from an article titled 'pretend girlfriend? be careful you're not using your fag hag,' by eric wright, xy magazine, july 1999.

[bowfootedbastard]

Surely adding a glass of wine to my already sexed up mood will do nothing of serious consequence

[bowfootedbastard]

my fave tiktok diet fad videos are the ones like "you could eat 100 calories of a cake or get much more on your plate with 100 calories of raw pumpkin puree". woooooah man that's such a hard choice, i'm always craving cold slop from a can

[bowfootedbastard]

there’s something almost sexual about jacking off

[bowfootedbastard]

honestly fucking fascinating that people will pretty universally understand that thin people can be naturally predisposed to thinness regardless of what they eat or their activity level, but that so many of the same people cannot possibly fathom that fat people could have similar dispositions or that there could be any factors more complex than a "lack of self control."

[bowfootedbastard]

JSYZGZMSIUAVSKXISUYSGSHSJSU MY FANFOMS. SHZYHZJZIZ ZYJZIZUZGZHSJSIZISHSBNX I KIVE TAHT MOVIE SO KUCH ITS SO GOOD OH MY FUCKING STARS SJSHSNZNSKSJHANSJSKZKS

dally: some might describe you as…

pony: tempestuous?

dally: heinous bitch.

[bowfootedbastard]

I think that at least once, yeah it's probably happened. Not very much though I wouldn't think.

I wonder if a man has ever seen another man’s penis