bowithoutadaemon

[bowithoutadaemon]

Since July is Disability Pride Month

(as opposed to every other month when we're all demure about disability rights /gentle sarcasm)

I wanted to highlight one of my favorite artists: Liberal Jane.

[bowithoutadaemon]

[bowithoutadaemon]

151 walker is Locked In at the riffles, catching fish after fish after fish!

[bowithoutadaemon]

Two youtube channels I follow have gotten hacked and started streaming some crypo bullshit.

So I guess this is a good reminder to regularly change your passwords, don't use the same password on multiple sites, use two factor authentication if available, and don't click on links in emails.

[bowithoutadaemon]

Thinking about Kent from Stardew Valley, I've often wondered why basically all he talks about to you is about his trauma. Like that's fine I guess but I've casually wondered why it's pretty much the only thing he ever talks about to you.

But it just occurred to me that Sam, Vincent, and Jodi note that he doesn't tell them what's wrong. It's surprising to Jodi that he hates the sound of popcorn, Vincent and Sam both note that he's different but they don't know why, he goes to festivals even though crowds and open fields trigger him.

He's trying very badly to hide it but he needs to talk about it. And the farmer has no preexisting ideas about him. Depending on how long he's been gone this time, you may be the only person in town that didn't know him before he went to the front lines. He's trauma dumping to you and only you because he has no idea to live up to in your mind. You're a blank slate. A new relationship. He doesn't have to pretend to be strong around you. He can just be miserable in your presence and you let him and give him roasted hazelnuts sometimes and roasted hazelnuts remind him of his mom and that's basically what your relationship boils down to. You're the person that will stand next to the river with him and go "Damn dude that sucks do you want an egg"

[bowithoutadaemon]

I just found this on my computer and have no memory of making it. I stand by it though

[bowithoutadaemon]

This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.

If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.

[bowithoutadaemon]

What is very funny about being a specialist in juvenile law is that I never... actually liked children?

(Ok there is some possibility I am fooling myself about this, given that there has never been a single child client I got to know that I didn't love and root for and 100% support, but.)

I'm not a "kid person." I don't have the gift of running around and imagining with them. I babysat much less than equivalent older-millennial girls.

I just got into court, and I --

Okay, let me back up and talk about my first public defender's office. It was a rural office that covered several geographical jurisdictions, including multiple cities and counties, five total. Each of these had three courts that regularly needed to be covered: a juvenile/domestic court, a general court, and a slightly higher and fancier level of court. They all operated to varied schedules (general court A was on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but general court B was on Wednesdays and Fridays; juvenile court A was on Wednesdays and Fridays but juvenile court B was on Mondays and Wednesdays).

So, fifteen total "courts," and there were... hmm. 8-10 attorneys. And a boss who wanted us to be able to substitute for each other, and thus rotated us through the courts every month. On week 1, I might be doing general court A on Tuesday and general court B on Friday. On week 2, I might be doing general court A on Thursday and juvenile/domestic court A on Wednesday. I might have one day a month where I do general court C.

So on.

The court schedules cases not according to our schedules, but according to police officers. Do you see the problem yet?

Public defenders were fungible. For those who don't know that very academic-specific word, it means that we were exchangeable units. One case could go through four different attorney's hands because it would get continued, show up on someone else's date, get continued again, show up on someone else's date, and so on. Juvenile cases were particularly bad about this because they tended to linger in court for a long time, while the court monitored the juvenile's progress.

Here's another fun problem: the department in charge of things like child protection, custody, etc., would only come to court on Tuesdays. We did not have a spare attorney to cover an extra day on Tuesdays in which criminal cases would happen with children who happened to also have custody issues or a foster care prevention plan in place. They would put the criminal case on the next day, Wednesday. Effectively, this meant that we were not present for the decisions about where our clients went and what programs they would have to do.

So I'm dropped into this, a baby attorney, having watched a DVD about How To Juvenile Law. I feel my training is wildly inadequate, and I'm doing reviews on cases that have never had the same attorney twice. Zero trust between me and the kids, and why would there be?

I complained loudly until my boss gave in and ordered me the several-hundred-dollar Juvenile Practice In This State book, and then I read it cover to cover. I learned a bunch of really interesting things! Like all the stuff we'd been doing wrong!

My boss was shocked. "You actually read that?"

"What did you THINK I was gonna do?"

"Well, you're the juvenile expert now, I guess."

oh shit, I thought. oops. fuck.

But I leaned in, and not in the ambition way. I proposed a way to rearrange my schedule so that I would always be free on Tuesdays for DSS cases. Instantaneously, there was a change in the environment of the court -- before, it was the guardians ad litem, juvenile probation, and the attorney for DSS deciding what to do with kids. Now I was there. Making suggestions. And arguments.

We changed how we did the schedule, and how we put individual cases on that schedule. Keeping them on our days became a priority.

I instituted a weekly detention center visit, for myself. (I made it about half the time.)

I went to trainings. This area of law is wildly unpopular among a lot of public defenders, because it's complicated and sad and you don't get to do jury trials about it. Every new thing I learned just pissed me off. It wasn't that I liked kids. It was that kids deserved better. So I got to take over pretty much everything with regards to juvenile law in the office.

But like, I stumbled on this, I didn't know shit. I didn't have a passion for protecting children. It's just that every bit of law I learned made me go, "What? REALLY? Fuck off!"

[bowithoutadaemon]

I hate having to post political posts like this nut he we are again. Anybody from the UK wanna sign this. Folks from outside the UK maybe share it?

[bowithoutadaemon]

There’s certain hobbies and interests that aren’t inherently conservative or regressive but do attract a lot of people who are those things or worse and when you’re a progressive person involved in those hobbies hearing that someone else is interested in your hobby usually has to involve some “But are you normal about it?” conversations before you get too excited

[bowithoutadaemon]

The tragedy of my life is that I keep acquiring and displaying fetish art and having to be corrected by my friends.

Most recently, a friend came over my house and saw my computer background and went, "Wow, um, I didn't know you were into that." To which I look at the picture of the well drawn muscular female minotaur in historically accurate Greek clothing and I start geeking out about how I love the detail the artist did with the clothing and I point out the period appropriate folds and pins, how the artist even inserted the native plant that was used to dye the clothing this particular shade in the background, and even how the belt has technology AND historically accurate weaving patterns on it.

Then I start explaining how I love the muscular choices of the minotaur, that I was so impressed with the artist's anatomically correct depiction of the muscles converging into the neck. That many people get an upright cow's neck wrong because cow's don't have collarbones, so it can be very difficult to merge the upper arms and a chest of a human with a cow's body. I draw her attention to the beautiful way they've merged the pectoralis major so smoothly while also staying true to how muscular they've depicted the rest of the body.

I finish up with my thoughts on the artist's bold choice to depict the minotaur as a female, and despite the underlying themes of a minotaur being violence, child murder, strength, and muscles. I segue into how unlike bulls, cow are perceived as mothers. That they are the major source of milk in human culture, and that idyllic depictions of them in a field usually depict calves frolicking nearby, yet the minotaur kills and eats children.

I finish and there is a long pause.

"Urban, this is fetish art." and she takes me to the artist's twitter and god dammit it's fetish art, not a bold statement on cultural perceptions of women and violence throughout history. I have been tricked again.

[bowithoutadaemon]

sweet roll

[bowithoutadaemon]

I dont know who the hell the B stands for but god its disgusting that you ship anyone with Dib. Thats a whole ass child, freak. Wanted to follow for the Pokemon content but you're out here shipping whatever the fuck badr is. Dont fucking ship the kids with irkens jesus christ

HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC I DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON

[bowithoutadaemon]

Mutuals are a lot like cats in that you kinda have to harmlessly pester and annoy them sometimes

[bowithoutadaemon]

Not queer as in "queer is not a slur" but queer as in "I do not give a fuck if its a slur, you don't get to censor my identity regardless". Queer as in "I HOPE my identity upsets you". Queer as in "my identity is not only a slur but a threat"

[bowithoutadaemon]

my friend said his flight transmasc

[bowithoutadaemon]

i wish i'd known as a teenager that i could report teachers for sexually inappropriate comments, i wish i'd known that they could be reported for failing in safeguarding responsibilities, i wish i'd known that they could be reported for bullying students.

kids, report your teachers, they don't get to abuse their power with no consequence. get evidence, get testimony, report them.