boyoyoahn

[boyoyoahn]

dreamt of a simple love like this. ended up choosing strength instead, because life demanded strength, not softness – and I had to answer.

[boyoyoahn]

[boyoyoahn]

📝 Reminder to My Future Self:

Lessons Learnt during 23-24 July 2025

You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to fall apart. But never forget the things life has taught you the hard way:

1. Emails aren’t therapy.

Even when your soul is screaming, even when you know you’re right — don’t hit send until you’ve taken a breath, edited twice, and removed anything that sounds like rage in a monologue. Rant in your journal. Respond in strategy.

2. Power plays by its own rules.

They won’t always reward honesty. They won’t always hear you unless you speak in their language. This isn’t a reflection of your worth — it’s a reminder to be clever. Play the long game. Burn bridges only when you’re standing on your own land.

3. Ask. Pause. Plan.

Don't try to do everything alone. There is no shame in needing help. You’re not weak for not knowing. You’re smart for gathering wisdom before moving. You’re wise for checking in with people who’ve walked the path before you.

4. Their mental health posters aren’t protection.

The system was never built to hold your softness. So hold it yourself. Guard it. Tend to it. But never hand it to those who’ll twist it into a weakness. You are not dramatic. You are honest. And that scares them.

5. Your emotions are not your downfall.

They are your blueprint. Your instincts. Your empathy. Your rebellion. The world will call it too much — because they are too little. Don’t shrink to fit. But do express your emotions cautiously. Not everyone cares.

[boyoyoahn]

I just reminded myself of something I often forget while navigating this mess of healing and heartbreak - I am the love I give.

I’m not going to let one emotionally bankrupt manchild be the reason I dim a galaxy.

I will not let the cruelty of one predator convince me that loving fully is a flaw.

Because I will never stop being someone’s home.

I will never stop being the slightly annoying 애교 넘치는 foodie girlfriend who texts, "밥은?" (“did you eat?”) as her love language.

I’ll never stop holding my person’s hand like it’s a lifeline, kissing them like nobody’s watching, and looking into their eyes and seeing forever.

Because that’s who I am — I don’t do love halfway.

I don’t “kind of care.”

I don’t love on a trial period.

I'm not meant to half commit or for situationships.

And if someone chooses to fumble that? That says nothing about the love I offered - only about what they were (or weren’t) capable of receiving.

They don’t get to make me smaller.

They don’t get to take away my softness, my sincerity, my belief in forever.

Even galaxies need gravity, and I have been the whole cosmos for people who couldn’t even name their own emotions.

But from now on, I don’t stop shining.

I just build gates - not walls - and I’m selective about who gets in.

One day, someone deserving will get access to this multiverse of love I carry - and they’ll know it was worth the wait.

Until then, I remain loyal.

To myself.

To love.

To the galaxy inside me that no one - not even my past - gets to shrink.

Because I’m not too much.

[boyoyoahn]

I made him. I built the illusion of the man I thought I loved from the breadcrumbs he gave me. He was never the man I wanted, so I painted over his rust with gold and gave him platforms he never earned. I fought for him to become the WEAN head of IVSA, Kolkata. The same woman he later disrespected, blackmailed, gaslit, and cheated on (tbh he had been cheating on for way longer).

And now?

I was the one printing out 15 pages of the IVSA code of conduct, crying silently while highlighting sections like I was preparing evidence for a trial only I knew was coming. Blurry vision, shaky hands. Every line reminded me of the disrespect I had tolerated, of the chances I had given him. More than once. More than he deserved.

But the girl who once defended him?

She walked into that room and pulled out the code of conduct violations, the laws — and said, “This isn’t personal. This is a crime and a criminal doesn't belong in IVSA.”

The same woman who made the calls, pulled the strings, advocated for him to rise — she was the one who got him removed. Removed, relieved, erased. From the position he never would’ve had without her. The position he never deserved.

And there’s some kind of poetic justice in that.

I put him there. I took him down.

No shouting. No vengeance. Just paper, proof, and poise.

And yes, I took a nap after.

Call me a spiteful bitch but I didn’t ruin him.

He ruined his chances with a woman who would’ve burnt the world down for him.

All I did was revoke the access.

All I did was read the rules out loud.

And tonight, I will sleep knowing I kept my last promise to him: that if he ever crossed that line, I would choose myself.

And I did.

독한 년. Over and out.

[boyoyoahn]

तेरी आरज़ू ना मिटा सके

ना ही जान तुझपे लुटा सके

यूँ तड़प-तड़प कर जले, मगर

ना ही अगन को दिल से बुझा सके

सुन साइयाँ, तेरे इश्क़ दियाँ ख़ैराँ मंगियाँ

ओ, झल्लेया, कर ले तू तैयारी, कल हिसाब है

तुझको अमलों का देना अब जवाब है

दुनिया में क्या बाक़ी रहा?

क्यूँ जाने ख़्वाहिशें करे तू दिल्लगी की

सुन साइयाँ, तेरे इश्क़ दियाँ ख़ैराँ मंगियाँ

[boyoyoahn]

real footage of my ex boyfriend

[boyoyoahn]

Day 1 of spoiling my inner child 💜

A (crepe myrtle) wildflower I picked and a Disney Princess Kinder Egg.

She didn’t get many Kinder Eggs growing up—they were a little too bougie.

But she always believed in magic, watched Disney like it was gospel, and knew deep down she was a princess—even without the crown.

The little girl in me deserved magic all along — and now, she’s getting it. 🌸👑🍫

No more waiting for someone else to treat her right.

[boyoyoahn]

how dare you make me hate my music, my favorite food spots, my city just by being in my memories of them

[boyoyoahn]

reclaimed my bougie lassi today - creamy, indulgent, and back where it belongs

📍Saurav's

[boyoyoahn]

grateful that the reason i walked away looked like this and that i didn't stay until the day (i found out) he cheated

[boyoyoahn]

양념 치킨 so hot that doesn’t just burn your mouth — it burns through your past life trauma, unresolved arguments, and any lingering feelings you might have for your ugly ex who couldn’t handle your spice

this 🍗 would go really well with some chilled beer tho 🍻