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And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

Sylvia Plath

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Revision #3

The final draft of the research paper has been the cause to a large majority of my stress over the past couple weeks. I turned in my rough draft late and extremely under word count due to my being out of commission for several days due to sickness and a family emergency. When I received the feedback from my rough draft, not to my surprise, all of the feedback was negative. This didn’t hurt my feelings at all because I was expecting it. I added citations and increased the amount of information in my final paper in response to these comments on my rough draft.

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Essay 3: Birth Order’s Effect On Children

Abstract: In this paper I will discuss the effects of birth order on children. Birth order affects several different factors of our and our children’s livelihoods. A child’s place in birth order causes sibling conflict, parent-child conflict, and conflict later in adulthood. I will also discuss the different actions of children based on their place in birth order. In addition to my research on children with siblings, I will discuss the effects of children born as only children in a family.

As I am sure most oldest children can agree, arguing with younger siblings is an ordinary occurrence in the household. Of course this is subject to disagreement because there are exceptions, but the science behind this bold statement proves our childhood quarrels to be legitimate in the eyes of science. Studies have show that these general assumptions of how a child should act based on their place in birth order with their siblings takes a toll on how they act and are treated. A child’s place in birth order causes sibling conflict, parent-child conflict, and conflict later in adulthood.  

The concept of explaining a child’s behavior based on where they fall in birth order of their siblings has been used throughout the years no matter if people realize it or not. Many ask why these differences occur. The answer to that question is that children begin to realize different ways to get their parents attention and this causes changes in personality among children (Gregoire). Another explanation is dependent on the relationship that the child’s parents had with their parents (Tani). When a child is spoiled and parents tend to take consequences lightly with, is usually the youngest child. Then there is the child that is easily forgotten about and is left to do their own thing. This child is usually the middle child. Lastly, the oldest child is usually the test subject for many parents. This child usually receives harsher punishment and is expected to be the role model for the younger children. All of these descriptions are loosely tied together and are subject to change, but for a majority of research, all of these are proven to fit the family dynamic.

As research shows, the oldest child in a family is held responsible, both positively and negatively, is many situations due to their place in birth order. According to child therapist Meri Wallace, the oldest child is expected to play as a role model for not only their younger siblings, but also for other children (The Effect). As a role model, the oldest child is usually expected to babysit and set standards, such as good grades in school, for the other children (Wikle). Sometimes the oldest child is given very strict rules throughout their childhood into their teen years, but at the parents begin to have more children, those rules have either been proven to work well or poorly and have been altered to fit the parents’ expectations. Another burden that may be put on the oldest child is that they tend to have higher expectations put on them from their parents (Argyrous). Along with these expectations comes parent-child conflict.

In the family dynamic, the youngest child tends to be looked at as the easiest role in the birth order of children. The youngest child tends to have the least harsh, if any, punishment due to their place in the family. By the time that parents make their way to their last child, they have decided what does and does not work in the process of raising their children, so they are not testing out punishments or rules for their families anymore (Gregoire). With this knowledge, parents tend to be less strict with their youngest child. Another difference in the youngest child’s upbringing has to do with finances. When a family with multiple children is first being started, the parents are usually more financially burdened because they are usually new to parenting, their careers, and their lifestyles (The Effect). However, when the youngest child is the only child still living in the household, the child is usually given more or higher quality things.  

Lastly, the middle child is typically “forgotten” about. The middle child tends to not be focused on as much as the oldest or youngest child (The Effect). While the middle child is in practice phase for parents, they are also less burdened than the oldest child. In some ways, the middle child tends to have the easiest life of the children, but in other ways the middle child may suffer with feeling neglected (Gregoire). This feeling of neglect may lead to the child testing boundaries and getting into undesirable situations in order to draw the attention from their parents. When attention is not gained from the actions of the middle child, the child may seek other attention, possibly from other individuals such as unwanted suitors.

Some may be asking, “What about children that do not have siblings?”. There is much controversy over whether an only child is most comparable to the youngest or oldest child. An only child, much like the youngest or oldest child, has the attention of their parents for a majority of their life; however, unlike an on oldest child or youngest child, an only child has no one to compete with for attention. Only children are often labeled as perfectionists or over-achievers because they are typically trying to impress their parents and receive their approval (Gregoire). In spite of what many of society believes, studies show that the stereotypical “spoiled brat” that many believe only children to be, is almost non-existent (Hartmann). While data shows that this stereotype is nothing more than a myth, it does not mean that there are not exceptions to the data.  

A child’s place in birth order does not just affect that child. Studies show that the oldest child in a family is often the determining factor of many situations. One of these situations is the decision for the mother to stay home or to put the child in daycare (Steele). Another situation is simply the choice to have more children. Last but not least, cohabiting couples are at an all time high in modern society and this often leads to unplanned pregnancies. The decision between the parents to remain cohabiting or to get married is usually decided at the birth of the first born (Salinas).

Annotated Bibliography

Argyrous, G., Craig, L., & Rahman, S. (2016). The Effect of a First Born Child on Work and Childcare Time Allocation: Pre-post Analysis of Australian Couples. Social Indicators Research,131(2), 831-851. doi:10.1007/s11205-016-1278-5

Gregoire, Carolyn, and Carolyn Gregoire. “How Birth Order Affects Your Personality.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 16 May 2015, www.huffpost.com/entry/birth-order-personality_n_7206252.

Hartmann, Corinna. “Is Only-Child Syndrome Real?” Scientific American, 21 Jan. 2019, www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-only-child-syndrome-real/.

Salinas, V. (2015). Changes in Cohabitation After the Birth of the First Child in Chile. Population Research and Policy Review,35(3), 351-375. doi:10.1007/s11113-015-9378-5

Steele, H., Perez, A., Segal, F., & Steele, M. (2016). Maternal Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) Collected During Pregnancy Predicts Reflective Functioning in AAIs from their First-Born Children 17 Years Later. International Journal of Developmental Science,10(3-4), 117-124. doi:10.3233/dev-16201

Tani, F., Castagna, V., & Ponti, L. (2017). Women who had positive relationships with their own mothers reported good attachments to their first child before and after birth. Acta Paediatrica,107(4), 633-637. doi:10.1111/apa.14162

“The Effect of Birth Order on Children.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-raise-happy-cooperative-child/201605/the-effect-birth-order-children.

Wikle, J. S., Jensen, A. C., & Hoagland, A. M. (2018). Adolescent caretaking of younger siblings. Social Science Research,71, 72-84. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2017.12.007

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Journal #6

4-15-19

I am still stuck at square one with this essay and I am not sure what I am supposed to do. I think it is just a lack of motivation for this topic. When I chose my topic, I found it very interesting and I felt that I would be able to do something good with the research, but now I just feel burnt out. It was only a month or so ago that I chose my topic, but I am at a different time in my life now and I don’t feel the same about my situation that led to my picking of my topic. I honestly believe that I have just lost interest.

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Journal #5

4-10-19

I am finding this assignment to be more difficult than I originally thought. Our first assignment and GSW 1110 was much more simply because it was mostly personal writing. I find that writing from my heart is a lot easier than writing something solely fact and research based. It feels as if I can’t get into “the groove” while writing this paper. I don’t know if it is because of a lack of preparation or maybe a lack of interest in the topic. I honestly feel lost with this assignment and it is causing me a lot of stress.

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You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.

Jodi Picoult

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Revision #2

At the beginning of this assignment I thought that this due date was for the final research paper that was for eight to ten pages. My anxiety was skyrocketing. I was beyond relieved when it was clarified that the final draft for this due date was only one to two pages. I was still a bit on the stressed side about this assignment because I was still trying to narrow down my final topic, but fortunately the activities in class were a huge help to this process.

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Journal #4

3-26-19

I am feeling a little less anxious about the assignment. I had a lot of assignments due this week and I have gotten a majority of them out of the way including my final draft for essay number two. This autoethnography checkpoint is one of the last things on my list so I am feeling much better. The final research paper is still making me nervous, but I will just have to work through it.

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Journal #3

3-22-19

To be quite honest I am very nervous about this assignment. I know that this final draft is only for the project proposal, but I find the research paper as a whole terrifying. I have written papers this long before, but they were never research papers. I am terrible at research papers.

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The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

Terry Pratchett

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Revision Statement #1

I was unsure about my paper at the beginning of the assignment. I was worried that I would not be able to find something that I could talk about passionately. However, when I began brainstorming I realized the place I felt the most conflict was my own home. When writing I began to worry about whether my take on the assignment would fit with the theme of the assignment. After my conference I felt much relief about my work and felt steered in the right direction to complete the rest of my paper.

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Journal #2

3-6-19

I have never been a very good non fiction writer. I find research papers difficult because I feel like everything is just word vomit on my paper. Retelling all the information just is not working. My writing is really choppy and I don’t know how to fix it. Finding sources isn’t difficult, because there are so many sources about my topic

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Journal #1

2-22-19

My essay is coming along nicely I believe. I find it very hard sharing my emotions in it however. My conference was surprisingly constructive and I now very much better understand what it is that I am supposed to be doing. We discussed adding individual scenes to my writing to further the emotion and make the piece feel more personal. I fully support this decision, but I am still a bit unsure as to how I will transition from the writing I already have and then into a scene.