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brain-palacee · 2 years ago

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As You Wish | Yoongi x Reader

Pairing: Werewolf Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 21k

Warnings: 18+, Spice but no Smut, Yandere, Obsession, Fear, Non-Consensual Kissing, Grieving, Passive Suicidality, MC experiences major depression, Non-Consensual Touching, Breaking and Entering, Stalking, Depictions of Gore, Blood, Technically Cannibalism? Loss of Spouse, Loss of Child, Forced Found Family, Hunting, Mass Death, Attempted Burning and the stake, MC is hit by a man (not Yoongi)

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals.

Preview: You couldn’t even scream when the door was ripped from its hinges, the beast breaking through it like it was wet parchment. You were petrified in place, hyperventilating and trembling at the sight of it.

It was a giant wolf. It was covered from head to toe in midnight black fur although there were spots that seemed thinner than others that were littered in scars - slashes and bite wounds from what you could only imagine were others of its kind. It was larger than a horse with a head so huge it could bite your own clean off in one impressive snap. And then there were the eyes. They were glowing an ice cold silver in the dark with a glare that felt sharp enough to slice through you while a gnarled scar marred the fur and skin of its right eye.

A/N: I’m exhausted and grad school sucks but I really wanted to get this out for your guys. I hope you enjoy it, I spent way more time on it than I wanted to. I really thought it was only going to be 8k yet here we are…21k. Anyway, I miss all of you - sorry this is so long lol, this is SUPER UNEDITED. As usual, I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and comments, I love you and hope you enjoy

The sweet scent of flowers greeted your nose as you cracked open the window for the first time in months.

Despite the warmth of sunshine and the bright green strokes of grass outside, it very well could have still been winter. It felt as if no time had passed since that fateful day. In your heart, winter still raged on. There were gnarled, ice-coated branches there and a torrent of never-ending snow. It had frozen over since then.

You carried this sense of numbness you had never thought you would be capable of, it was as if your very soul had been corroded by frostbite. Any love or passion or warmth had been snuffed out like a match in the dark.

That was the thing about grief, it could change a person into something that was beyond recognition. And your grief was immeasurable.

When you got married, you never imagined your husband would die within the first year.

It truly had been a cruel winter that year. The two of you were making do with what food you had. He had always been so smart, planning out what you could have each day so that it would last until spring. The only problem was the fire wood. No one could have anticipated how cold it was going to be and if you hadn’t burned as much kindling as you did you were certain you would have frozen to death.

You could still remember that gentle look he had given you before he left. The soft touch of his fingers to your cheek, the gentle kiss he left you with. He still had every ounce of charm he had had as a boy. He had always been kind and sweet to you. He was the gentlest man you had ever known. That was why his death hurt even more.

You had been worried the minute he left, but as minutes bled into hours and the winter sun quickly disappeared behind the mountains you were frightened to the bone. He had only an ax and a knife with him. He brought no food and no more clothing than what was on his back. He was planning on making a short trip and if he didn’t come back right away the chances of him surviving the night were slim to none.

His body was found the next day.

Honestly, you didn’t remember that day all too well. Everything was a blur, you could faintly remember hearing the voices of a few men from the village, the feeling of your raw throat after screaming senselessly, and the surplus of food and supplies that were sent your way with small slips of paper that read: “Our condolences.”

They wouldn’t let you see his body and that was something you would never forgive them for. You didn’t care how bad it was, you wanted to see him with your own eyes and you were never afforded that closure. But you had heard enough from hushed whispers outside.

“Pieces,” they had said.

He had been mauled to pieces. They couldn’t even find all of him and what was left of him had huge teeth marks raked through flesh. It was an animal attack. Just like you and your husband, they were hungry.

And now you were all alone. You were a pariah, one that people pitied, but a pariah nonetheless. You would never be able to marry again, not that you wanted to, but no one would want a widow as their wife. That was the way of things, you were meant to live out the rest of your days in solitude. Nothing more than a sad story mother’s would tell their children as you passed through the markets in silence. Your story would become a warning for children not to wander off into the woods. Your tragedy would become a lesson.

The only lesson that you had learned was that love meant pain. You had given yourself to someone entirely, and when they had parted from you, you were left with nothing. That was the danger of love, losing yourself.

After months of wishing you had followed him out of this world, you were hit with the sudden clarity that you were being selfish. He had left to try and save the both of you, but here you were wasting the life he had given you. He had sacrificed himself in order for you to keep living for the both of you.

Choosing to live was so much harder than choosing to die.

You shoved those horrendous thoughts to the back of your mind as you traveled through your small cottage, prying open every stiff window that you passed by. Living meant starting with the little things, like getting your home in order. It didn’t feel the same without him, but at least now that it was warmer out you wouldn’t have to stay inside and constantly be reminded of his absence.

You stripped your bed, gathered up the used linens, and scooped up piles of worn clothes from the floor before depositing them in the basket. You were distracting yourself, that much you were certain of. But any distraction was welcome, you couldn’t bear the silence filled thoughts of him any longer.

You heaved the basket up onto your hip and made for the door, pausing as you were faced with the blooming greenery beyond the threshold. The breeze was cool, the air was fresh. The world was starting over once again, why was it so hard for you?

You shook the troubling thought from your head, squared your shoulders, and took a deep breath. You could at least try. And so, you stepped outside for the first time in months and faced the world. It was almost like nothing changed. The birds still chirped, the insects sang, and the rush of the river called from a distance.

That was the other thing about grief. While it felt like your world ended, in reality, it still rushed onward.

The soft grass sunk beneath your feet and sprung back to life as you walked, your body tense as you approached the forest. You weren’t going in too far, it was just the edge where the trees were still spread out and not too thick. You just needed to get to the river. But you couldn’t deny the sense of paranoia that was set in your bones. This was where he died, where he was mauled and consumed by whatever inhabited the forest. It would make sense that whatever animal that had ended his life was still prowling in the shadows, waiting for its next meal.

“Stop it,” You snapped at yourself, your voice hoarse from lack of use and louder in the soft sounds of nature.

You weren’t going far, you were going to be safe. There was no reason to be so anxious when you wouldn’t be putting yourself in danger. You weren’t walking into the lion's den, you were doing laundry.

Despite your scolding, you still snapped your head in every direction when you finally reached the river. You were unsettled by every little noise, hyper aware of everything that was going on around you. For a task that was so mundane, you felt so on edge.

The rush of icy water against your hands was enough to help you focus on the task at hand. The river had finally unfrozen. While your husband and yourself frequently bathed in the river during the warmer months, you had no plans on doing that anytime soon lest you be chilled to the bone and catch your death. Maybe when you were younger you would have risked it all for a moment of fun. But you were older now, matured by time and tragedy. It was harder to have fun now.

You threw the shirt you were washing on a rock beside you, the force of the toss resulting in a loud, wet slap. Your body bent forward under an oppressive imaginary weight as your icy fingers braced your face, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips causing your body to sink even further.

Living for two people was going to be even harder than you thought. Even these simple, menial tasks felt exhausting. It had been a miracle you had been able to drag yourself out of bed, that you had made it outside, that you had even journeyed to the river. But those things should be easy, so why did they feel so hard?

You felt weak.

Useless.

Helpless.

You couldn’t help but think had the roles been reversed, he would have been stronger than you. He would have mourned but he would have been able to survive. He would have been able to find another wife, he would have had the children he always wanted, and he could have been happy. It was hard to not feel like it should have been you, like you were just wasting the life he had given you. It was hard to not crumble beneath the crashing waves of grief that eroded your resolve.

It was too hard.

A high pitched whimper broke you out of your spiraling thoughts, your hands dropping to your lap and your head snapping to attention. You held your breath and pursed your lips, listening closely to try and hear the sound again.

And there it was again. Although this time it was much louder and much longer. It sounded like something was in pain. And your curiosity got the better of you.

You shifted your basket to the side and stood, gathering your skirts in one hand as you carefully lept from stone to stone as you crossed the river. Your heart raced as you slipped once then twice, the stones slick from the rushing water, but the cries were becoming louder and closer and you felt as if you had no other choice but to find out what they were coming from.

Once you crossed the river, you moved slowly through the grass so as to not startle whatever it was that was frightened. Every now and then you would pause and hold your breath, listening intently for the creature's cries before following them once more. You could just barely make out the shape of the animal, its body concealed by a thick underbrush of branches, leaves, and thorns.

You dropped down to your knees with abandon and blindly reached into the shrubbery. The cries were much louder now as the creature was startled by your invading hands. Thorns raked through your flesh as you grabbed hold of the small furry body and pulled, trying your hardest to gently remove the little animal. A loud cry made you stop, halting all of your progress. It looked like it was tangled up in something.

You quickly moved on to your second plan and softly placed the animal back down before grabbing thorn laced branches and snapping them with your bare hands. You hissed in pain as blood beaded up from the small cuts that now decorated your palms. You couldn’t fathom where this sudden rush of determination came from or why you felt like you so desperately needed to do this. That same rush that came over you to find the animal was present and even stronger with the desire to free it. You felt it on some deeper level, that you just couldn’t leave it behind.

There was a generous pile of branches beside you now and you could very clearly see what you were dealing with. It looked like a puppy. It was very small with soft chocolate brown fur, a short nose, and the cutest pointed ears. Its big brown eyes were welled up with tears, its tail tucked between its legs, and its entire body shook in fright.

Your horror stricken gasp was muffled as you involuntarily covered your mouth in surprise. The poor pup was tangled up in a snare. The wire was cinched tightly around its hind leg, chest, and foreleg, cutting in so tightly that blood was visible on the metal. The poor thing had run right into the trap and was stuck. You could only hope that it wasn’t intended for the puppy, that it had run into some hunter’s trap purely by accident.

Your already lacerated hands went straight back to work trying as you attempted to untangle the snare as gently as you could. You hissed as it sliced your palms but paused only a moment to wipe the blood off on your pinafore before continuing your work. By the time you had finally managed to undo the trap, beads of sweat clung to your neck and the sun had moved a decent way across the sky.

“There you go,” You murmured, “you’re free.”

The puppy, although now free, didn’t move. Its deep brown eyes stared up at you as it continued to whine, its entire body still shaking with unadulterated fright.

“Can you walk?” You asked, sitting back on your calves to get a better look at the animal.

You were shocked when it responded, in a way. The puppy attempted to stand and then walk, but it only made it two steps with a clear limp before it collapsed flat on its belly with a yipe.

“Of course you can’t, I’m sorry,” You cooed as you reached out. Your hand paused in midair, hesitating before trying to touch the puppy. It was probably a wild dog, so it was not a good idea to go touching an animal that very well could bite you, no matter how cute it was.

The puppy, as if it had read your mind, answered for you by leaning forward and sniffing your fingers with a cold, wet nose, before lapping at them with its little tongue. It was like any other puppy then, it wasn’t aggressive yet.

You chewed your lip in thought as you watched the pup. It wasn’t a good idea to take in stray animals, but it was injured and leaving it in the forest would be like ringing a dinner bell for all the predators in the area. All of the blood the pup and yourself had shed was certainly not helping. And then there was the crippling loneliness of your cottage. A dog would be good for that. It would be something to share the space with, something to break up the cacophonous silence. And, when it grows older, it would be good for protection as well. The benefits outweigh the negatives you selfishly refused to think of.

With the pup’s approval, you lifted it up and cradled it into your side much like a mother would her child. You giggled in delight from the feeling of a wet nose burrowing its way into your shoulder and neck, sniffing the cloth of your dress and your skin like it was trying to become accustomed to you.

You crossed the river even slower now on your way back, very aware of the precious animal you were protecting. When you stopped at the river bank, you gathered your abandoned laundry and placed the puppy in the basket. You didn’t really care about the dirt, grass, and blood that would inevitably stain the fabrics - afterall, they still needed to be cleaned and you had much more pressing issues to attend to.

You walked back with a sudden urgency in your steps, a small trill of excitement buzzing in your being. After months of isolation and misery, something so small had brought you joy, something that had been unimaginable a few hours before.

The pup was much calmer now, softly panting instead of crying as it laid in your basket of sheets, eyeing the world that passed by as you brought the two of you back to your cottage. When you made it inside, you shut the bottom half of the door, leaving the top half open to allow fresh air in without the risk of the pup wandering out and falling down the stone steps. When you placed the basket on the ground it nosed at the sheets for a moment before limping out of the basket.

“No, no, no, stay right there,” You chided, gently scooting it back into the sheets, “you’ll hurt yourself worse if you do that.”

You stayed a moment, locking eyes with the pup to ensure that it would stay and understand. When you were certain that it was calmed you finally turned your back and headed into the kitchen. You rummaged through the cabinets, searching for the healing salves and creams you knew had been there months before along with the strips of makeshift bandages.

Within mere moments of turning your back on the puppy you were alerted once more by its cries. It had tried following you again but was now laying in a heap on the floor, tangled up in the sheet and crying from the pressure it applied on its wounds.

You dropped the bandages and rushed to the pup, cooing as you picked it up and cradled it against your chest. The little thing was an escape artist, that was certain.

You let out a deep sigh as an uncomfortable thought brewed in your mind. It was the only option that you could think of, even though it was terribly unpleasant. Before you could dwell too much you headed towards the back of the cottage where a single door was fixed into the frame. It stuck at your first pull but relented on the second, the hinges creaking in defeat as you entered the room.

Any furniture that was in the room was coated with a thin layer of dust having gone undisturbed for months. That old wound in your heart was bleeding around the edges now, the pain of avoided thoughts bubbling back up to the surface.

There was a crib against the far wall of the bedroom.

You swiftly moved to the back of the room and gently placed the pup inside the crib. The sides were high enough that the injured dog would be unable to climb over and you were confident that this was the safest place for the poor thing.

But even that knowledge couldn’t stop tears from pricking at the corner of your eyes as your hands subconsciously cradled your belly. Your pregnancy had been short lived. Losing your husband had been the catalyst to losing your child, but you couldn’t help but blame yourself. Even though the midwife had promised you it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t see how that could be true. If you had been stronger, if you had taken better care of yourself, you would have been able to save that last piece of him.

If you hadn’t been pregnant, maybe things would have been different. Your husband would have stayed and you would have figured out how to make it through the rest of the winter. But you had been pregnant, he had left to find more resources because of that, and even though he sacrificed his life for you and your unborn child you hadn’t been able to save them.

You couldn’t see how any of this wasn’t your fault when you were at the center of it all.

The feeling of cool tears rolling down your cheeks shocked you back to reality. You weakly wiped the tears away, sniffed, and shook your head. You needed to clean yourself and the pup up, you had priorities.

You rushed around the cottage, busying yourself with what needed to be done. You ran to the water pump and wet some rags, retrieved the salves and bandages, and grabbed a bowl of poultry meat for the dog. This was a welcome distraction.

You were greeted by excited, squeaky barks when you returned to the abandoned nursery. The pup eagerly paced back and forth, its little tail wagging so hard its entire backside wiggled. You let out a gentle giggle before releasing it from the crib and sitting the two of you on the floor, pulling the pup into your lap and distracting it with a strip of meat while you assessed its injuries once more.

You blinked once and then twice in confusion. You could have sworn the wounds had been much worse not more than half an hour ago. The slashes were still bloody and in need of tending to, but they were not the deep, gnarled gashes that had once needed stitching. You were either still out of your mind or this animal had the fastest healing time you had ever seen.

It was much easier to believe that your mind was failing you. And so, you got to cleaning and wrapping the wounds. The pup was surprisingly well behaved, only whimpering every now and then as you touched a tender spot but it didn’t jerk away and did its best to stay still as it ate. The more time you spent with it, the more you realized it was much smarter and more aware than you had once thought. Everything about the little creature seemed eerily human when you thought about it too much. It was better to not think about it too hard.

Trapped in your own mind, you hadn’t realized that you had finished your work. Not until you felt the gentle lap of a little tongue against the wounds that decorated your palms, jolting you back into the real world.

You pulled your hands away with a pained hiss before reprimanding the puppy, “No, no, no, I don’t know where that mouth of yours has been. The last thing we need is an infection.”

The puppy whined in earnest and nosed at your palm once more before you pulled your hands away again and scooped the little thing back up into your arms. This way, it wouldn’t be able to mess with the cuts.

After you tended to your palms, applying salve and wrapping them securely, you couldn’t help but notice the odd tingling you felt emanating from them. It was warm and fuzzy and completely unexplainable - your salves had never caused that sensation before.

As time passed and the sun crossed over the sky before dipping beneath the horizon, the feeling became stronger until it was a pulse-like thrum causing your hands to tremble before steadily declining until it was nothing more than a memory. And an odd one at that.

It was when you began to turn in for the night, that everything fell apart.

You didn’t notice that the crickets had fallen silent nor that the wildlife of the forest had completely disappeared. You hadn’t noticed the hollow ringing that came from the wind slipping between the trees. It was the calm before the storm, and you had no idea what was coming.

The candlelight was dim, casting soft ochre colored shadows over the wood and stone of the cottage. The puppy slept soundly in your arms. Everything was calm.

That was of course until a howl fractured the peace. It was so loud you could have sworn you felt the floorboards shake as a rush of fright went down your spine. The soft lull of sleep was suddenly long forgotten.

The pup in your arms stirred at the noise, its ears perking up and its head frozen in place as it recognized the sound. It was on high alert. It knew what was out there.

You shakily stood and approached the door, the top portion of it still unlatched and swung outward. Outside of the lamp affixed to the stone above the door, the forest was pitch black. You could barely make out the twisted shape of the trees and the brooke that had once been in sight was obscured. But, what was even stranger, was that you were certain that the shadows were moving.

You tilted your head to the side, squinting your eyes as you tried to make out what exactly you were looking at. And then, it was close enough that the light bounced off of it and you were met with the horrifying sight of a set of bright silver eyes staring back at you from the dark.

You were frozen in an instant. But once you realized those eyes were steadily coming closer with a hulking form attached, you acted on instinct, slamming the door shut and latching it closed. You could only hope that the door would hold against whatever that thing was.

Your chest rose and fell with heavy pants as you became more and more unsettled. Why was it so quiet? Why couldn’t you hear something so big moving? Where was it? What direction was it coming from? Your back met the wall and your weak knees had you sliding down to the ground.

Your entire body was shaking in pure terror. There was something out there, something massive and monstrous. You held the pup in your arms tighter, bringing it to your chest for comfort as well as protection.

You yelped as a loud bang popped the eerie silence. Whatever it was, it was slamming its body alongside the cottage. But it wasn’t doing it mindlessly, like it thought it could break through the walls. It was purposeful, it was an attempt to frighten you and determine where you were. It was smart.

You curled into yourself as it came closer. You could hear heavy, sharp pants in between the vicious snarls that it was making. It sounded wild, primal, and predatory. It was hunting.

The pup in your arms began whining and wriggling around as it tried to escape your grasp and all it was doing for you was frightening you even more. All it was doing was making more noise, drawing more attention to itself. And you knew it had, the creature outside had gone silent. It was listening.

And then chaos unraveled in seconds.

You couldn’t even scream when the door was ripped from its hinges, the beast breaking through it like it was wet parchment. You were petrified in place, hyperventilating and trembling at the sight of it.

Your body slowly began to slump to the ground, falling weak before the wolf. You looked like the perfect prey, like a rabbit that was so frightened its own heart had stopped. It seemed that the wolf thought similarly. It approached you slowly like it was still on the prowl as angry snarls left its gaping maw. You could feel your blood run cold as you caught sight of its enormous teeth, each one long enough that they could be made into daggers. Whatever this creature was, it was no mere wolf, it was something else entirely.

Your hold on the pup was weakened as your chest and forehead met the ground, bending beneath the invisible weight of the wolf’s presence. From beneath the cover of your hair you could make out its large paws and hooked nails mere inches away from you. It was so close now that you could feel puffs of its hot breath disturb your hair and ghost over your neck. You were breaths away from death.

You couldn’t decide if you wanted to flee or embrace it as you had once desired.

A soft whimper involuntarily escaped you as you waited, feeling the tip of its nose brush over your head as its snarls grew louder. A sudden loud yapping broke the tension.

The pup was frantically barking at the wolf and lunging at it in a playful manner all the while standing in front of you like it was trying to protect you. The sight would have been comical had you not been on the brink of passing out. This tiny puppy was fiercely defending you against this monster.

And, to your surprise, it was working.

Once you gained the courage to raise your head you were met with the sight of the wolf’s intense gaze trained on the puppy. More specifically, its gaze was trained on the bandages covering its wounds. The wolf looked back at you, its hauntingly silver eyes making you flinch. It continued to stare at you for a long moment like it was contemplating something, that of which you were unaware of. But then its gaze hardened and its predatory stance relaxed. It had made its decision.

Without another snarl or howl it nipped the pup by its scruff and began to carry it out of the cottage. It stopped for a moment once it had successfully squeezed out of the broken door frame and looked back at you, this too was a look that you were unable to decipher. It gave you a slow blink and then turned, carrying the pup back to the forest and disappearing into the darkness.

It was in that moment that you finally realized that it had not been a dog you had rescued, but that wolf’s pup.

And with that realization you completely collapsed to the floor and were dragged into a dark, dreamless, restless sleep.

~~~~~~~

Yoongi had come to realize that there wasn’t much that you could do to discipline a two year old, especially a two year old that was a shifter.

His daughter, Binna, had little control over her form and had a knack for slipping away and getting into trouble. That was something he could blame on his other pack members, specifically the youngest three.

He huffed out a sigh as he carefully extracted twigs and leaves from her messy hair, flinging them back into the underbrush. She was the very definition of a wild child. And while it wasn’t uncommon for pups her age to be curious and adventurous, it was uncommon that she so readily welcomed and followed humans.

Humans were dangerous, that was something he had tried his best to get her to understand but she simply couldn’t. She was too young to understand how they could hunt her and hurt her, far too young to realize what that meant, and far too young to understand that it was a human that had taken her mother away from them.

Then again, she hadn’t known her mother all too well. That was evidenced by her clinging to any female shifter she had found and babbling out “mama” to the wrong mothers. She knew her mother was missing, but she couldn’t match the face to the name. He couldn’t really blame her all that much. Her mother had been amongst the best hunters and was oftentimes absent as she hunted for the pack’s survival. Yoongi was a defender, he was there to ensure the safety of everyone that resided within their territory. He was at the front lines. And because of that, his wife was often gone and he was almost always home. To his daughter, her mother was a faceless being.

“Let me see,” He demanded firmly, trying to unwind the bandages that were already slipping from her skin.

She nipped at his fingers playfully, her serrated canines gleaming as she giggled. Yoongi tried his best to suppress his smile, he was supposed to be upset with her. He sighed once more and grabbed the edge of the bandage and began to unwind it.

“No,” She cried in a drawn out whine, “Mama gave me! Mama gave me!”

Yoongi froze, startled as he registered her fractured speech. She thought that human in the cottage was her mother.

He could see why she would think that, you had taken care of her after all. From what he had seen from the wounds he knew they came from a hunter's trap, snares made from silver that were so small they had clearly been designed for pups as no adult shifter would ever be able to be caught in that small a snare. It was clear that you had rescued his daughter and taken care of her in his absence.

And for some reason, Yoongi could only press his lips together in a firm line and failed to correct his daughter. At the end of the day, she wasn’t necessarily wrong.

Yoongi knew you.

He had known you for a while now. He had watched you the day you and your husband had moved in. The two of you had chosen a location that was incredibly close to their territory and so he scouted you out for days to ensure that you wouldn’t stumble too far from your home, to ensure that you weren’t a threat.

He had thought you two were safe, and that was his biggest mistake.

Yoongi would not say that he was enamored with you, but he was definitely interested in you. He had gone his entire life knowing to never trust a human, but as he observed he couldn’t help but be enthralled by your little human quirks.

You were so blissfully unaware of his presence as he silently stalked you. Your husband, like his wife, was often gone during the day and you were left to amuse yourself. For someone of your age, you had this odd youthful aura about you. He would watch as you would jump into the brooke, spinning around and splashing with abandon not unlike his child would.

That version of you that he knew though, that was long gone. Loss has aged you, hardened you. Even though you were completely ensnared by fright he could see the hollowness in your eyes when he had ripped your door from its hinges.

The both of you had been irreparably changed by loss.

And then there was the other problem. He was indebted to you and you were now in his care. While he refused to acknowledge any attachment he felt for you, he couldn’t deny the attraction. It was incredibly wrong considering his own disdain for humans, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something else there, this odd discomfort in his chest that demanded to be felt, a sour feeling in his stomach at the thought of your frightened face.

This was not good.

Contrary to popular belief, wolves do not mate for life. And as a shifter that was even more true. While many chose to bond to one another, it was not horribly uncommon to find a new mate if one were to leave or die. And, very rarely, there were intense bonds that made it so that you did mate for life. In the case of his wife, it was not that type of bond. Of course he was hurt, of course he missed her, but it was not the debilitating grief that you experienced. It was natural for his kind, evolutionary even.

The attachment, this bond he felt for you paired with his daughter’s stubborn belief that you could be her mother made him make a decision far faster than he should have.

You lost a husband, he lost a wife. An even trade. Why could you not fill those roles for each other?

~~~~~~~

The following days were ones where you lived in a state of fright and confusion.

When you awoke the next morning you were greeted by the feeling of the floor against your cheek and a stiff ache in your joints. Apparently, you had spent the night collapsed on the floor.

When you finally mustered up the strength to stand there were several things that were brought to your attention. Firstly, that there was now a gaping hole in the wall from where your door had once stood. Secondly, the events that occurred the night before had not been a grief conjured hallucination. And thirdly, the pain in your hands had completely disappeared.

Upon unwinding the bandages you were met with completely closed wounds and thin scars that looked years old. Your suspicions had been proven correct, that wolf and its pup were certainly not just animals not with the way a few stray licks had healed your palms. Your fingers trembled in fright at the realization before you grabbed another roll of bandages and wrapped them tightly in a panic.

Out of sight, out of mind.

You followed the same thought as you gathered up sheets, a cord, and pins with the intention to cover up the missing door to your cottage.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Unfortunately, that was not possible for you. Before you could even attempt to hang the sheets you were frozen in place a foot away from what was once the threshold. On the cobblestone porch was a carcass. You stared at it, dumb in shock as you tried to understand what you were looking at. It wasn’t a complete animal, it had been skinned and cleaned and left on your porch laying out on a thick piece of brown paper packaging. At first, you considered the possibility that it was another mourning gift from one of your neighbors in town but that was very quickly debunked. For one, they typically cooked the meat or met you at the door. And secondly, there were clear claw marks in the bone and large tooth impressions left behind. You had a sick feeling that you knew where this came from. But it didn’t make any sense, no wolf could clean a carcass like this - this was work done by human hands.

Despite your conclusion, when you raised your head you were once more greeted by the sight of the wolf. He was much closer than he had been the first time you saw him the night before. He laid right by the end of the treeline - half of his body submerged in shade and the other half bathing in the golden glow of the early morning light. Those silver eyes were watching you intently, waiting to see what you would do next.

That only confirmed your suspicions, he had brought it for you. It was a peace offering of sorts, a truce. In spite of that knowledge your hands still trembled when you grabbed a corner of the parchment and dragged the carcass past the threshold. The wolf’s alert and tense body almost immediately relaxed. It was like it was relieved.

It stared after you for a moment longer, gave you a slow blink, and then rose and melted back into the forest - vanishing as if it hadn’t even been there in the first place.

And so you hung your sheet, peeled the flesh from the bone of the carcass, and disposed of the remains.

Out of sight, out of mind.

~~~~~~~

When you woke the next day, the makeshift curtain was pulled to the side and wrapped around a bent hinge that was still mounted to the wall. Another thing you were certain wolves were incapable of.

And there, on the stoop, laid a pile of wild berries and fruit on a small, clean cloth. And, not far away, the wolf was there once more. Although this time it was much closer, so close in fact that you could visibly make out the twisted scar around its eye. It was laying down, much like a dog would, with its large head raised in alert. Those silver eyes flicked slowly from the present and back to you three times, a clear signal that it was waiting for you to take them. It only relaxed when you brought them inside just like the day before.

This pattern between the two of you persisted for several days to follow. And, no matter how you tried to forget what had happened that night, this creature was making it virtually impossible. It was ironic how you had once longed for company and were willing to settle for it from a dog but now that you had someone, well something, watching over you you were incredibly unnerved by the ordeal. But you couldn’t exactly shoo the hulking creature away.

And so each day passed and more presents followed. One day it was bunches of wildflowers, another it was game of varying sizes, and another was a thick pelt that had been handcrafted into a blanket for the cold spring nights. You didn’t know how to exactly decline a gift from a mythical creature. Wouldn’t there be horrible repercussions for that?

The urgency to put a stop to this odd arrangement became even more apparent when a gold pendant was left at your door and the wolf had crept so close that it was less than fifteen feet away. It was beginning to make your home its territory and now it was somehow stealing items you had only dreamed of affording when you were young. It was all too much.

You wound the chain of the pendant around your fingers as you hesitantly crept down the stone steps. The creature perked up in interest, elevating its head again as you slowly approached it, your body shaking in fright in spite of your attempts to school yourself into a false confidence.

“I-” You paused to clear your throat, “I can’t accept this. You’ve done more than enough for me, you’re forgiven.”

It only cocked its head to the side in response. You were just a crazy woman talking to an animal, weren’t you?

“Here, take it,” You tried again, reaching out your palm to it as the chain caught the sun and glistened in the morning light.

It was looking at you like you were dumb.

“Fine,” You sighed, “I’ll just leave it here then and you can take it back to wherever you got it from.”

You lightly tossed it onto the grass and turned your back on the creature before briskly walking back to your cottage. And, despite the haste in which you walked, you were no match for the massive wolf.

A startled shriek left your lips as you felt a large, warm body bump against your side and thick fur rub up against your skin. Another shriek was forced past your lips when its tail wacked you on the backside like it had a mind of its own.

Gold glinted in its teeth before the pendant was unceremoniously dropped on your stone steps, the placement much more haphazard than it had been that morning.

If this had happened a few days before, you were certain you would have been more frightened, but now your patience was far too thin and you were in desperate need for your privacy and a sense of normalcy.

“If you’re going to keep bringing me things, at least let them be useful! Like a door, for instance. You know, that thing you ripped off of my home!”

The wolf huffed in what almost sounded like an amused chuckle before rising and stalking towards you, crowding you up against the side of the cottage. Your heart pounded as you realized you had made a grave error, you were not the one in charge here.

You clenched your eyes shut as you felt a warm puff of air over your face and a wet nose prod your cheek. You shook as you remembered the creature's giant fangs and huge body. You were certain now that it was going to eat you now that you had denied it, these were the repercussions that you feared.

What you hadn’t anticipated though, was the feeling of it pressing its head on top of yours and whining like an overgrown puppy. It was acting like you had hurt its feelings. You hesitantly cracked an eye open only to see this huge, scarred, wolf nuzzling your head and then your hands like it was begging for affection.

A surprised laugh came straight from your chest as you shakily began to pet the wolf. The wolf that had previously been ready to kill you after you had accidentally kidnapped its child.

“Alright, alright, cut it out!” You squealed, laughing hysterically as it began to lick you. You quickly froze when you realized that that was the first time you had laughed in months. It was the first time you had laughed since your husband had died.

You gently pushed against the wolf’s large head as you side stepped around it, a frown now tugging down the corners of your mouth. It felt so wrong to be happy.

Your companion noticed your swift shift in behavior. It ducked its head down and nosed at your back not all that gently as you stumbled forward.

“Don’t you have a child you need to get back to?” You hissed, a sudden wave of irritation rushing over you.

This wasn’t all that uncommon for you. The rapid changes in your emotions. It was easy to feel joy wither away to apathy, to frustration, to anger. Oftentimes you felt like you had no control over how you felt and it left you grasping at straws as you tried to hold yourself together. It was just so hard.

“Go on, go home,” You sighed, flicking your hand in the general direction of the trees, “I don’t doubt that you’ll be back tomorrow anyways.”

The wolf stared at you again, as it tended to, before purposefully bumping its large body against you once more and making for the forest. It hesitated for a moment, looking back over its shoulder to give you one last look, and then it was gone again.

That was what you wanted, wasn't it? But if that were true then why did you hate the loneliness that you were left with so much?

~~~~~~~

That morning, early in the morning, you were awoken by the sound of a hacksaw.

For a brief moment, in the hazy grasp of sleep, you allowed yourself to settle back down when you realized it was just your husband getting an early start on the daily chores.

But your husband was dead.

With that sobering thought you jolted fully awake, gripping your blanket tightly in your hands and pulling it up over your mouth as you struggled to control your breathing. Your neighbors were out of the way and they rarely came to visit anymore outside of the kind supply drops they had provided you with throughout the rest of the winter. So, if it wasn’t them, then who was it?

You rose and with the blanket still wrapped around you, you made for the door as quietly as you could. Once again, the curtain was pulled and fixed to the side like it usually was whenever your companion came to visit you. But the person that stood outside, mere steps away, was very clearly not the massive wolf you had come to know.

You could only see him from the back, but he was very clearly a man. He was a decent height with longer, thick, raven hair that began to curl at the ends. From what you could see of him, you could make out stretches of porcelain skin. He was wearing a loose fit white top and he had rolled the sleeves up past his elbows exposing pale forearms with impressive veins and hands that looked like they had been carved from marble.

Your cheeks grew warm as you realized you were spending far too much time appreciating his appearance rather than worrying about what this stranger's intentions with you and your home were. “What are you doing here?”

The man continued his work, sawing at the wood until the cut was complete before he responded. You then realized that he had been very aware of your presence the entire time, he had not been startled at all.

“You asked for a door, did you not?” He replied, sarcasm tainting his words, as he brushed the sawdust from his hands and turned to look at you.

His face was just as lovely as the rest of him. Dark brows, doll-like lips, and deep brown eyes that had the gentlest slope to them. He was beautiful, that was undeniable.

But what was most apparent and most worrying, was the long scar that ran over his right eye. A scar that you had most definitely seen before. Your body stumbled backwards on instinct, trying its hardest to create more distance between the two of you.

The man raised an eyebrow, a look of pure amusement etched into his features, “You weren’t afraid of me yesterday but you are now? You are a confusing little human, you know that?”

“You - that’s, that’s not possible!” You gasped, tightening your hold on your blanket. “What you’re insinuating is not possible!”

He chuckled to himself, leaning his weight back on his hands as he dropped his chin down, “You want me to prove it to you? I could if you really wanted me to, I do like these clothes though so I’ll only do it if you give me a reason.”

The thought of watching this man, creature, wolf, whatever he was burst out of his flesh and take on a different form was horrifying enough that you were certain you would faint at the very sight. Already you were shaken by the thought of this being possible, you didn’t know if you would be able to handle the sight. Not to mention that subtle innuendo that whenever he decided to take the form of a man again he would be as bare as the day he was born. It was all too much.

“Please don’t!” You cried, “Don’t do that!”

“As you wish,” He nodded with a teasing smile as he turned back to the door in progress. “Perhaps some other time.”

“What is it exactly that you want from me, if you are who you say you are?” You asked.

“I am responsible for you.” He said with a shrug, picking up the saw once more and continuing his work as if what he said made any sense at all.

“No, you are not. No one is responsible for me, you owe me nothing.”

“I don’t? I would think I at least owe you a door, that is what you said after all, remember?”

Heat rushed to your face in pure frustration and embarrassment. He was just as infuriating and insufferable as he was when he was an overgrown dog…that is of course if you were truly willing to believe in that sort of thing. But how else could he have known about your request for the door? Why else would he believe he was responsible for you had you not saved his child’s life? Unless he were some creepy, stalking stranger, he would have no knowledge of these events. This man was the very thing your town hunted and was frightened of.

“Just the door then? That’s all? You will leave after you’ve finished it and your debt will be repaid. You will leave me alone?” You asked.

He paused for a moment, a confused expression taking over his face. He looked at you as if he realized he couldn’t comprehend what you were asking of him. “You confuse me.”

“I confuse you?” You laughed, “I woke up this morning to a strange man outside my home claiming to be something that up until this morning I didn’t believe in, who claims he is responsible for me and owes me when all I want is peace and privacy!”

“That, that confuses me.” He admitted.

“What?!” You cried in exasperation.

“How can someone who so clearly hates being alone also want to keep it that way?”

You wrapped your blanket around yourself tighter, as if that would somehow shield you from the sudden sense of exposure that washed over you. You were feeling vulnerable. You were feeling seen.

“You humans are social creatures, not unlike my kind, yet when you need help, when you’re in distress, you push your pack away. It goes against every natural instinct that you have, it doesn’t make any sense.” He laughed with a shake of his head.

“You are alone here, you have no one to protect you. I can keep you safe in every meaning of the word. Whether that means building you a door, forgive me by the way, or guarding your land. I want to protect you.”

There was a gentle flutter in your heart, one that you desperately wanted to stomp out but were failing to do so. You hadn’t been affected by someone like this since your husband and you didn’t know if you should feel guilty about that. He was supposed to be the one allowed to move on, not you. These feelings weren’t supposed to be for you, they were supposed to pass. It was your job to mourn his loss; he was supposed to be your one and only love. These feelings were supposed to be wrong. So why, deep down, did you enjoy them?

Instead of telling him to leave, to abandon his work and yourself, you made the mistake of giving him a chance. You made the mistake of entertaining him.

“I don’t even know who you are,” You said with a laugh of disbelief.

“Yoongi,” He smiled, a wolfish smile, “And you do know me, I’ve been here longer than you know.”

That wasn’t the comforting sentiment that he was trying to make it be. Just how long had he been watching you? You were reluctant to linger on that thought much longer, so you moved on.

“How long will this take you?” You asked, shuffling closer to his work.

“Not long. Lucky you, you happened to pick a shifter whose trade is in woodworking.”

“A shifter? So, that’s what you are?”

Yoongi pursed his lips, his brows furrowed, he was thinking. It was like he was still deciding if he could trust you or not. He was deciding just how much information he was willing to give up to you despite the fact that you had seen him in his other form.

He nodded.

“Are there…are there more of you?”

“Yes,” He reluctantly admitted, you had already seen his daughter after all.

“Why is it that I have only met one of your kind now?”

“Because, we’re discreet. We have to be. You found my daughter in that hunter’s snare, remember?”

“Your daughter,” You echoed, “is she alright?”

Yoongi practically preened at your concern. All you were doing was giving him validation, you could and would be a good mother to her. You could be a good mate for him.

“Our kind heals fast, she’s already running around causing more trouble,” He chuckled, “but don’t be mistaken, I am grateful for what you did for her. You saved her life and you helped heal her. I owe you much more than you know.”

“I saved her life? You couldn’t mean…”

A grim look descended over his pretty features, a dark gaze settling in his eyes as he paused his work once more, his hands tightly gripping the tools they were holding. “That’s exactly what I mean. We have been hunted since the dawn of time. Woman, man, child, it makes no difference to them. Their entire goal is to eradicate us, they think we are abominations. It wasn’t enough that they took my wife, they tried to take my daughter as well.”

Your heart ached in sympathy for him. You knew that feeling, the overwhelming wave of grief and pain that attempted to drown you in your suffering. You had lost your husband and a child, Yoongi was just as familiar with loss as you were.

You crept closer to him, so close that you could feel the warmth that radiated off of his body like a stove. Hesitantly, you reached out to him and rested your hand on top of his. You could feel his grip go lax, his hand relaxing beneath your touch.

“I know how terrible it can be to hear someone apologize and tell you that they know what you're going through, but I think this is one of those rare moments where it’s true.” You said.

You could feel his gaze on you and the scarred skin of his hands beneath yours. He felt so incredibly close, this was the closest you had been to anyone in a while. You swallowed uncomfortably as you felt his hand turn over and the skin of his palm meet yours as his fingers laced their way in between yours.

“My husband…he was killed this winter. I’ll never know what happened to him, or why it happened, but knowing that he’ll never be here again is the most painful thing I have ever felt. It’s indescribable.”

Yoongi tried his best to suppress the inappropriate smile that wanted to make its appearance known on his lips. You two truly did complete one another. You were two pieces of a puzzle that had not been intended to fit together, but had been carved up and forced together. You were altered, created for one another. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, stroking his thumb down the curve where your palm met your finger in rhythmic swipes.

“I know that feeling, I understand it well.”

I understand you, he wanted to say.

“People like us, we should stick together. We can trust one another like no one else can.” He murmured, gently brushing up against your side.

That was enough to wake you up from the dreamlike haze he had put you in. You stepped back, breaking your fingers away from his and holding your hand up to your chest.

It was too soon, too much, you couldn’t be that close to someone, to a man nonetheless. You couldn’t trust him, you couldn’t trust anyone.

Yoongi took a step forward and you took three back, retreating from the momentary comfort you had felt. But instead of looking dejected like you assumed he would, he looked determined, he looked sure of himself. And that only made you stumble back even more, stepping up your stone steps and into the house.

“I’ll leave you to your work.”

This is what you did. Despite the entrapment you felt by your loneliness, it was familiar, it was right. The loneliness was easier.

It was the only thing you knew you could hold on to for certain.

~~~~~~~

In the days that followed, you became antsy to get out from beneath your visitor’s presence.

You hurried past your uninvited guest, hoping that he wouldn’t notice you with his back turned to you. Your hopes were quickly dashed.

“Where are you going?” He called over his shoulder.

You came to a halt with an exasperated sigh, “Am I answering to you now?”

He only hummed in response and for a reason that you could not conceive, it lit you alight with agitation. “Where I go, is none of your concern!”

That caught his attention, his head slightly jerking to the side as he watched you from the corner of his eye. “It’s not safe out there, not when you’re alone.”

“I was fully capable of finding my way through the forest before you got here, I seriously doubt that I have lost all sense of direction.”

“It’s not your sense of direction I’m worried about,” He sighed, “There’s more of my kind out there and more of your hunters - both of which would not bat an eye at a human getting caught in the crossfire.”

“It’s never been a problem before,”

“No, but it is now.” He said with a stern glare, his eyes not meeting your curious gaze, but instead staring into the distance. His shoulders were tense, his forearms flexed, he looked as if he was burdened with knowledge that he could not share.

“Yoongi, what is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t wander off too far,” He deflected.

You stayed for a moment, suddenly unsure as to what you should do. Moments before you were ready to get out from underneath his oppressive stare, but now you were intrigued. Yoongi had told you about the shared hatred between your species. The humans hunted the shifters and the shifters were reactionary killers. They followed an honor code closely and truly believed in an eye for an eye. So what had happened that now made it unsafe for you to traverse the woods when before it had never been a problem. Why would Yoongi’s kind attack you unprovoked?

Despite your stare, Yoongi was blatantly ignoring you, pretending that he didn’t notice you hadn’t left. That was enough to let you know that the conversation was over no matter how much you poked and prodded.

Without another word, you left. Contrary to what Yoongi had believed, you wouldn’t be traveling too far. Your cottage and the shifter would not be in view, but you knew the way like the back of your hand. It was past the brook, and a good walk through the evergreens. What you were searching for was a small clearing.

The trees lined the space in almost a perfect circle, something that appeared somewhat unnatural amidst the organic shapes of the woods. In the middle, there stood one weeping willow - completely out of place and the only one of its kind. And at the base of its gnarled roots was a simple stone with your husband's name carved into it. The earth was still turned, a reminder of just how fresh his death and the wounds they left behind on your heart were.

You gently lowered yourself to the ground, your skirts folding beneath your knees as your fingers pressed into the dirt. You had often thought about crawling back to him, you had dreamed of being wrapped up in his warm embrace again, the two of you entwined and buried beneath a comforter of soil and flowers. In your dreams you were intertwined so tightly that years from now if anyone were to find you they wouldn’t be able to tell where you began and he ended.

“Hello my love,” You whispered despite no one else being in the clearing. And of course, you were met with the silence, the ever present reminder that he had left you and that he was never coming back.

You sniffled as your fingers smoothed down the fluffed dirt before digging into your basket and pulling out the prettiest wildflowers you could find with which you then began to arrange around the stone. You knew it wasn’t right to spend so much time here, you were holding on so dearly to someone that was gone and no matter how much love you held for him it would never be enough to revive him.

When you were satisfied with your arrangement you allowed yourself to empty your eyes of the last of their tears before patting your cheeks dry with the edge of your pinafore. With clear eyes, you were now able to see a few things that you had missed before.

Hanging from the boughs of the tree were several things. There were colored glass stars and moons that were strung up on several branches all of which varied in color and reflected the sun through them, casting brilliant shards of light over the earth. And, amongst those, were small wolves carved masterfully from wood. You slowly stood, your brows furrowed in confusion as you tapped one of the stars with a shaky finger. It swung back and an ethereal ringing sounded from within it.

What were these doing here? At your husband’s grave?

You looked back at the wooden wolves before you began to piece it together. Yoongi, he had a wife. Was this for her? Was this their version of funeral rites? But if that were true then she would have died recently, but why would she be buried here, where your husband had been killed and laid to rest?

Your heart thumped, your palms began to sweat.

No. No, you refused to believe it.

Their words began to rush back to the forefront of your mind, “pieces,” and “consumed.” Your husband had been ripped apart and eaten, there was barely anything of him left behind.

It was her, it had to have been her, she had been the one to kill him. But if that were true, then who had killed her?

“I am responsible for you,” Yoongi’s words echoed through your mind.

They had a code of honor, they believed in an eye for an eye. Or, a spouse for a spouse.

You turned your back on the burial sight and balled your fists up before pressing them against your eyes. Out of sight out of mind. Out of sight out of mind. Out of sight out of mind.

Yoongi wouldn’t, Yoongi couldn’t. He wouldn’t do that to you, he wouldn’t take someone’s spouse from them, he wouldn’t make you feel the same pain that he did.

A rumble pulled you from your panicked thoughts, your breaths still fast and shallow. But what you thought had been the earth shaking, was something far more menacing. Across the clearing stood a wolf, a wolf that was not Yoongi. It was too small to be him and the fur was the wrong color. But the size alone told you that it was clearly a shifter and by the way it was looking at you, you were certain that you were in danger.

You stood still, hoping that if you didn’t make any sudden movements he wouldn’t be provoked but you were sorely mistaken. You could see its muscles tensing up as it crouched low and shifted its weight back towards its hind legs like it was preparing to lunge. No matter what you did, it had already made its decision to kill you right where you stood.

You hadn’t realized you were screaming until you felt the raw pain in your throat, your body acting on its own will to survive as you reeled backwards and hastily began to climb up the tree. If you were lucky, it couldn’t climb, but there was still a human inside of that creature - it was smart, you had seen Yoongi hunt you down before, after all.

You shrieked in fright as you heard the mangy wolf approach, its large paws ripping through the ground as it raced towards you while all you could do was try and climb higher. Unfortunately, you weren’t fast enough. The wolf leaped and its massive teeth tore into your skirt and ripped you from the tree. For a moment, you were completely weightless - you were airborne. And in that brief moment of freedom, you were quickly grounded by reality when you came crashing down to the ground, your forehead just clipping the top of your husband’s headstone as you went rolling down into the grass.

You knew what would come next. This time, the embrace of death would wrap around you. There was no getting around this. But what confused your shock ridden body even more was the pure dread you felt from the realization that you were going to die. You had once welcomed death, begged for her, prayed for her even, but now when you felt her looming over you you realized that you weren’t ready.

You missed your husband, but you weren’t ready to join him.

And, just as you felt the hot breath of the shifter mist over the back of your neck, it was just as quickly ripped away.

There was a symphony of snarls that followed, the sound of flesh being torn, booming growls, then a pitiful whimper, and a loud snap. And then, all fell quiet.

You were still dazed as you felt warm arms slip beneath your own, pulling you up into someone’s lap and pressing your body back against an even warmer, bare chest. Long fingers prodded at the warm blood that slid down your temple and a deep, frantic voice echoed in your ears - the words were unintelligible.

“I told you not to wander off,” Yoongi said, his lips just beside the shell of your ear, the first words he had said that you could finally understand.

“I told you,” He repeated, his voice wavering and full of emotion as he trailed off.

You looked at him wearily, your head feeling much heavier than it had earlier. His eyes were wide, his pupils blown. The look on his face could only be described as haunting. He was cradling your face with both hands. His thumb stroked your cheek, but his eyes were trained on the weeping willow. He looked just as shaken as you had been before.

That sinking feeling was back in your gut. The suspicions you had were coming back to your rattled brain. But still, you turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, collapsing your body against his completely as you felt yourself slipping away.

He was calling your name, his voice panicked as he held you against him even tighter. You rested your chin on the pale stretch of skin of his shoulder and started back into the treeline. You were finding comfort in the man that you were almost certain was involved in your husband’s death. You were embracing the suspected killer of your husband.

And in your delirium you caught sight of something out there, something you weren’t sure was even real. It looked like one of the clerics from town, his white robes reflecting the sun as he hastily retreated back into the cover of the trees.

A bloodied, naked corpse laid where the mangy wolf once stood.

You found comfort in a killer as a man of god ran away from the sight of the worst sin, murder.

~~~~~~~

Yoongi’s watchful gaze never left you, even when you thought that you were away from prying eyes. When he said he wanted to protect you, that you were his responsibility, he meant it.

It wasn’t safe for you to be alone this close to the woods and this far from town. Even though you chose to ignore this, he knew that he was right. He was oftentimes put on edge when he would think about the possibility of someone wandering through the woods and stumbling upon your cottage. And, even worse, he could imagine what someone would do when they found a beautiful woman, alone, in the middle of nowhere with help miles away. His paranoid suspicions had proven to be true with what happened days before.

“Who was he?” You had asked when you had woken up.

When you had slipped into unconsciousness he shifted once more, swinging you onto his back and racing back to your cottage. It would have been comical to try and watch his massive wolf form squeeze into your home while dragging your body inside, but in that moment Yoongi had trouble finding anything remotely amusing. He had been too frantic to switch back into his human skin and it took him several moments of concentration before he was able to do it.

“He was no one,” He plainly said, his brows drawing together as he dabbed at the wound that split open your forehead.

“You didn’t know him?”

“No,” He sighed, “He was just a nomad, a packless wolf. He must have caught your scent and tracked you down.”

“Was he going to eat me?”

You were met with a sickening silence as Yoongi pursed his lips and bandaged your cut. His silence was a clear answer.

“But, I’m not an animal. There’s plenty of deer and rabbits…” You trailed off.

Yoongi set down the roll of gauze and leaned towards you, cradling your face once more in his hands. “Humans and animals are not all that different, you eat, you sleep, you mate, and you both give chase. Many of my kind see yours and animals as one in the same. What only matters is the hunt.”

Human, shifter, or hunter it didn’t matter, he had grown to trust no one outside of his pack. There were nefarious creatures at every corner, whether he was one of them was still to be decided. His behavior certainly appeared to be nefarious, to an outsider.

He could hear the thrum of your heart in your chest and the quickening of your pulse as you digested his words.

“Don’t be afraid of me, I would never hurt you. I just want to take care of you.” He murmured as he leaned in closer to you and pressed his lips to your forehead is a soft kiss that pulled a sharp breath into your chest.

Since that day, Yoongi’s behavior has drastically changed.

During the day he worked, far slower than what was normal or necessary, and he watched you fulfill your mundane tasks for the day. While they should have bored him, they did quite the opposite. Everything you did seemed so curious, enthralling even. He couldn’t explain this odd tether he had to you. The only thing that he did know, was that he had to be near you. Whatever this was, it had become far more than just a sense of duty he felt towards you.

During the night, when the moon emerged, he would shift and watch from the shadows. He would watch you pull your curtain closed and float from room to room. He would sit as still as he possibly could and listen to your heart beat slow and your breathing even out as you fell asleep. He would sit in front of the gaping hole where your door once sat and he would keep watch, pride stirring in his chest as he protected you.

It was during the night when his daughter would come to visit. Some nights he could hear four paws ripping through the earth as she excitedly ran up to him, other nights he would be greeted by the sound of two little human feet running through the grass. And sometimes, she would morph between the two forms, flickering between the two states like the unsteady wave of a flame.

But, there was one constant with her.

“Mama,” She would whisper, crawling on all fours up the steps.

And every time he would nip her by her clothes and settle her back down in between his massive paws.

It was a silent “not yet.”

You were his responsibility, but his daughter wasn’t yours. Not yet at least.

The three of you had unknowingly settled into a routine. And on the day that the door was finished, that pattern was finally disrupted.

You had grown accustomed to Yoongi’s presence. If you were being truly honest, you would admit that you had grown to like him. You would never admit it to anyone but his presence had filled that hole in your heart that your husband had left behind. You knew that his saving you had caused this pivot in your emotions and in all honesty you were incredibly confused by them.

Yoongi was kind and incredibly gentle in spite of how your initial meeting had gone. His voice was soft when he spoke to you, his smile reassuring, and the gentle touches calming. It was hard not to like him, and it was even harder to remember that he wasn’t human.

But the reminders were there. The odd glow in the depths of his eyes, the wolfish smile, the predatory gaze you had caught sight of whenever he thought you weren’t looking and the looming suspicions you had about his implications in your husband’s untimely death. He was still a wolf, there was no denying that. But you approached it all with the same logic you tended to fall back on: out of sight, out of mind. It was simply easier to not think about it. That, as well as your traitorous feelings for him.

The clouds came out of nowhere the day the door was finished.

“No, no, no, no, no!” You cried as you frantically ran outside and towards your clothesline where you had hung all of your linens.

Yoongi watched you dart in between the fluttering clothes and sheets as the rain slowly began to descend and the wind threatened to whip everything away.

“Yoongi!” You called.

The shiver that sent down his spine was strong. That was all it took for you to rattle him, just the mere sound of his name on your lips was world shattering. You didn’t know just how easily you could ruin him.

“Yoongi, help me!” You called again, your voice stern this time. He thought it was cute when you tried to be in charge.

There had been a definite shift in your relationship after he had killed that wolf for you. You had started inviting him inside for dinner, watching him work, and even spending the evenings with him outside, leaning up against the warm side of his wolf form. And in turn he would accompany you wherever you needed to go, keeping a close eye on you, and a firm hand on the small of your back.

You had grown impossibly closer than you had ever thought you would be capable of. Hell, you hadn’t even questioned why he was wearing your husband’s clothes when you woke up - you weren’t even upset. You were beginning to feel alive again.

The two of your hurriedly gathered the linens. Yoongi had turned it into a game, ripping items off of the line right before you could touch it like it was a race. In all honesty, he made you feel like a kid again. The both of you were laughing, stumbling over the laundry and bumping into each other as you raced inside.

“You were supposed to help me, not compete with me!” You scolded him, dropping the sopping wet pile of laundry into your basket.

“I can do both, dearest.”

Dearest. That had been a recent occurrence. It slipped from his lips one day, it had caused your heart to stutter and your blood to rush and ever since then he had not gone a single day without letting the term of endearment grace your ears. He loved seeing how flustered it would make you, the way he practically purred around the word.

“Or, you could just be kind to me for once.”

“I’m always kind to you, have you not enjoyed the gifts I’ve brought you?” He asked, a faux pout on his pretty lips as he slowly stalked towards you. You could almost see the wolf in him when he did that, you could visualize the swing of his tail and the way his massive head would tip down as his glowing eyes locked in on you. It was there, in the swing of his walk and the taunt muscle of his shoulders. It was an ever present reminder that he was not like you.

You backed up, almost coyly, as he approached. His broader steps quickly gain on your short, shuffled ones. The cold, spring breeze rushed over the exposed skin of your neck, the open doorway was now behind you. But, before you could rush outside and back into the rain and allow him to give chase, he reached behind you and jerked his arm back. In that instant you felt solid wood press against your back, the new door settling perfectly into the once empty frame and blocking off your exit.

You let out a shaky breath as he leaned into you, his chest against yours as he raised his arm above your head. With one swift movement there was a click and then his arm settled by your waist and another click followed. He had locked the door behind you. You were trapped in your own home with the wolf.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Short breaths were passed between the two of you, both of you waiting for the other to make a move. Your lashes fluttered as your gaze traced the contours of his face. You often wondered if he knew just how lovely he was, scar and all.

You swallowed harshly as you raised your hand to his face, your fingers trembling with desire before softly grazing the bottom of the scar. Yoongi’s eyes slipped shut as he moved forward allowing his face to lean into your touch, his body pressing impossibly closer to yours.

“Yoongi,” You whispered.

And with that one simple call of his name, he lunged and went in for the kill. His pretty lips collided with your own as his hand moved to cradle your jaw and tilt your head back with the force of his kiss. With your back against the door there was nowhere for you to go, but there was nowhere else that you wanted to be.

You gasped as you felt his free hand slowly trail up your leg and over your hip before settling on your lower back and sharply pulling your hips against his. A pitiful whimper was passed from your lips to his from the sudden desire that was pooling in your lower abdomen.

A moment of clarity came to you, your mind pushing past the haze of desire when you felt your feet leave the ground. Yoongi buried his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder, his lips and teeth making quick work of the skin there, as he walked. It was when you felt the soft cover of your bed beneath you that you realized what was happening.

“Yoongi, wait -” You tried, but his movements did not falter. His fingers were making quick work of the laces at the back of your dress and he showed no sign of stopping any time soon.

He looked desperate, like he was going to die if he could not have you and the only way to relieve himself of his pain was to unveil every inch of skin that you were concealing from him and each stretch that was exposed was just as quickly covered by kisses and nipped by sharp teeth.

You couldn’t deny the attraction you had for him or the lust you were practically dripping with from his touch. But it felt like you were laying on a bed of needles when you were reminded of your late husband’s death as you were willingly laid down in your marriage bed with a man who was not your husband.

“Please,” You gasped, gripping his shoulders, “not here.”

That seemed to catch his attention as he finally stilled himself. From your position it looked like he was trying to gain some control over himself. His breathing was still heavy, but he had stopped touching you. He looked up at you slowly, his chin just barely brushing over your bare sternum. When he finally looked at you, you stopped breathing. His eyes were lit with moonlight, a silver glow emanating from their depths.

He was more wolf than human in that moment, a creature that was acting purely on instinct.

You cupped his cheek once more and while he flinched at first, he slowly relaxed beneath your touch. He was still eerily silent, and in that moment his behavior reminded you almost entirely of the first time you had met him when he was in his other skin, fully shifted into his wolf counterpart. It was those watchful eyes again, those eyes that held so much depth and awareness that it was startling.

“I can’t, not here.” You repeated.

He blinked slowly, once, twice, and then a third time as he cocked his head to the side. You felt a twinge of fear at that gaze and, shamefully, the rush of lust in your veins. Your body went lax as you allowed him to gather you in his arms once more. He was calmer now, his pace slower as he unlocked the front door and carried you into the night. You could see flickers of your Yoongi in him, his touch much softer as he laid you down in a bed of grass that has been permanently laid flat by the giant wolf that guarded your home.

That night the sky was completely open, not a single cloud obscured the stars or the body of the full moon. It was utterly beautiful. Just as beautiful as the feeling of fresh dew on your back and just as beautiful as the sight of your breath crystalizing in the cold, spring air. But nothing was quite as beautiful as Yoongi. The way that his bitten lips parted with soft gasps and deep moans, the way that his porcelain skin shone beneath the moonlight, and the way that he struggled to part from your lips. It was the way that he would rather kiss you than breathe. Everything about him was beautiful.

You had many regrets in your life, but this would never be one of them. Not when he held you like this, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. Everything about this was supposed to be wrong, unholy even, but that was what made it that more enjoyable. That was what made you tense your legs around his waist, curve your hips against his, and wrap your arms around the back of his neck - drawing him towards your pulse point where he had been nosing at, sucking, and kissing almost obsessively.

When your body shook with pleasure, a rush of warmth and tingles spread beneath your skin, your back arched and your neck was bared. And before you could even realize what was to come, his teeth had already sunk into your neck and shoulder without hesitation accompanied by an almost animalistic growl. The pain was there, it forced a scream past your lips, but it mingled deliciously with the rush of pleasure that emanated from your very core. You gasped and shook, your vision blurring as you were assaulted by your senses, your nails digging into his shoulders.

There it was again.

There was a flash of white in the treeline. It was there for a moment before flickering out of sight as you felt yourself barely clinging to consciousness.

You were being watched again, there was something or someone out there that was following you - watching you in your most vulnerable moments.

You tried to get Yoongi’s attention but he was in a similar state, the both of you lazily holding onto one another and barely moving as you began to drift. Your lips moved but no words were spoken, your tongue felt heavy in your mouth, unable to form words.

Yoongi’s lips were stained with your blood, his eyes heavy lidded but now returned to their dark color that you knew and loved. You tried again to speak but found yourself unable to as he pressed his forehead against your own, his fingers brushing back your messy hair.

The heavy lure of sleep was steadily pulling you under. You supposed it could wait until tomorrow.

Out of sight, out of mind.

~~~~~~~

When you woke up you were back in your bed and you were alone.

The cottage was dark, the windows all closed and the curtains drawn tight. When your eyes fluttered open you had almost believed that it was still night, that you were still outside with Yoongi and you had only momentarily dozed off. But the familiar comfort of your blankets and pillows quickly dismissed those thoughts.

Now wide awake with your sheets pooled around your waist, you could only wonder about where your wolf had gone. Had he left you already? Had he taken your words to heart when you told him that he was to leave when his service was finished? Had he abandoned you after you had shared your most intimate moments with him? What had you done?

You felt a sense of shame wash over you as you stumbled from your bed, dull aches throbbing at various points of your body that only reminded you of what had transpired the night before. Once you collected yourself you made your way to the door your wolf had crafted for you and when you grasped the handle and pulled, you were met with a locked door.

Your face scrunched in confusion as you turned the lock the opposite way and moved the bar at the top of the door but when you tried it again it still would not budge.

You had been locked in your own home like a canary in a cage.

Your heart dropped into your stomach and your throat felt impossibly tight as tears began to brim in your eyes. You had trusted him and in turn he had trapped you. How foolish you were to think that you could trust another man and here you were, a betrayer of your husband’s memory.

You sat on the floor curled up by the foot of your bed with a weak grasp on your blanket around your shoulders. There was an unexpected heartbreak that demanded to be felt in your chest, how could you mourn someone who you never really truly knew? Yoongi wouldn’t even tell you about his family, where he came from, or his people. Your relationship, whatever it was, had been an uneven exchange and you had clung to him so quickly because you had been so lonely. It was unfair.

You quickly swept away the tears from beneath your eyes when you heard a lock turn and light began to permeate the darkness as the door swung open. He came back.

The gentle smile he had entered with melted away, a look of concern taking over his face. He crossed the room and you rushed to stand, your arms crossing over your chest to protect and soothe yourself. You flinched away from his touch as he attempted to cup your jaw, the look of hurt and confusion on his face only inspired anger.

“Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” He asked, trying to bridge the distance between the two of you as he moved closer while you took to stepping around the bed. You needed to keep him away, you couldn’t be swayed by those gentle touches and kind looks.

“You locked me up, Yoongi. Why would you do that?” You sniffled as you attempted to keep your voice strong and firm.

“I didn’t lock you up-”

“Then why was the door locked? Why couldn’t I get out?” You asked, before leaning forward and grasping a cord that was strung around his neck and nestled beneath the fabric of his shirt. “Why do you have this?”

When you pulled the necklace out his hand shot out to grip your wrist in warning, but the damage had already been done. There was a key on his necklace, the key to your cage.

“I’m protecting you.” He whispered, his tone deadly and his gaze dark with warning. “You saw what happened, it’s dangerous out there - I can’t trust anyone with you.”

“No, you can’t trust me,” You corrected him before jerking your hand out of his hold, “This is my home, Yoongi, my home! You have no right!”

“I have every right, you are mine!”

“I am not!”

His eyes were burning again, he was having trouble keeping his anger in check and you weren’t helping in the slightest. His chest was heaving with every breath and his jaw was tense. You watched him take one long breath in and then out before his arm shot out as he grabbed you by the wound on your neck forcing a pained gasp from your throat.

“I told you, I am responsible for you, I need to protect you. This means that you’re mine and that I’m yours, this is a bond that goes deeper than marriage, do you understand that?”

Your lips trembled as emotion welled in your chest, that told you everything that you needed to know.

“You killed him, didn’t you?”

The silence you were met with and the empty look in his eyes was more than enough to confirm. Yoongi had been your husband’s killer. You stumbled back and heaved, waving away his hands that tried to steady you as you felt sickness stir in your stomach.

“How could you? Why? Why did you do it?!” You cried, your fingers shaking as they grazed your lips in pure shock.

His hands were raised as he tried to step closer to you, it wasn’t a defensive position, it looked more like he was trying to calm a startled animal.

“He killed my wife,” He said, his voice much gentler than you expected in your state.

“He wouldn’t!”

“No, but he would kill an animal, wouldn’t he?”

He stopped approaching you and you had stopped moving away, your body having locked up in a state of pure shock.Your silence was enough for him to continue.

“By the time I got there he was already taking her pelt, she wasn’t even able to shift back.”

He had skinned her. He didn’t know there was a person inside of the wolf that he had killed, and he had skinned her.

“I took what was owed to me, he killed her so I killed him and I don’t regret it. The only thing I regret is what that did to you and your child, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I tried my best to give back to you what was taken. I can protect you, I can take care of you, I can give you children, and I can love you.”

His pupils were blown out, there was a look of pure desperation in his eyes. It was a look that made your heart shudder in your chest.

There was a horrible ache in behind your ribs, it felt like it was on the verge of collapsing. It was undeniable that you cared for him, but the sickness that churned in your stomach was rivaling those feelings. You had never felt so betrayed before by anyone. You thought that he would have been different.

You couldn’t even bear the thought of looking at him in the moment, it hurt too much and you knew how powerful those eyes of his were. You refused to be swayed at that moment.

You knew that no amount of words you could say would force him to leave, so you did the next best thing and sprinted for the door. You barely made it a few steps before he lunged and grabbed you by your waist, picking you up with ease as you writhed in his hold. You turned into a feral animal, throwing yourself around wildly and scratching at any available skin you could find as you cried in shrill screams.

“Stop fighting me!” He grunted, throwing you down on the mattress and pinning your wrists down at your sides as he pressed his knees into your kicking legs. “Calm down.”

A scream of frustration burned your throat as your muscles strained under his firm grip. There was no use in fighting him, he was far stronger than you could ever hope to be. And so your body eventually tired itself out, your limbs going limp as you shook from a mixture of fatigue, fright, and dimming embers of anger. The skin beneath your eyes felt tight from all the crying you had done and the skin around your nails throbbed from the scratches you had carved into Yoongi’s forearms. But of course, those flesh wounds had already healed.

You flinched as he released one of your wrists and stroked your face, indirectly drying your cheeks of their lingering tears.

“You’re scared, now. Confused. But that’s alright, you’ll learn that I am the only one who can take care of you.”

You stayed silent and stubbornly turned your head to the side when he leant in to kiss you, but your actions did not deter him, he only laid a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth with a contented hum.

“I’ll prove it to you, I can give you everything that you want.” He whispered beside your ear before he finally stood and the blood rushed back to your arms and legs.

You scuttled backwards up the bed as he gave you one last lingering gaze and then he slipped out of the cottage and locked the door shut behind him.

He had trapped you once again.

~~~~~~~

You had laid there for a long time, frozen after what had transpired. Everything you thought that you knew has been completely and utterly wrong. It had all been a lie.

You slowly sat up and slid your palms into your lap. Your nails were stained with dark blood, you had hurt Yoongi afterall, not that it had mattered. To him, it had probably been no more irritating than a kitten’s scratch. You were once again reminded of his incredible inhuman nature.

You needed to leave, now was your chance to escape him. It was an odd feeling that stirred in the back of your mind. The night before, there was nowhere else that you would rather be, and now you wanted to get as far away as possible. You wanted to run.

With that thought in your mind you lept to your feet and made for the window. You knew that Yoongi would be able to find you, tracking you would be more of a game than a challenge. But if you left now, you would give yourself a head start. You would make for town and when you entered its boundaries it would be too risky for him to come after you. He wouldn’t be able to get you in either skin, the hulking form of that wolf far too obvious and the flesh of his human skin far too vulnerable when outnumbered.

You pried open the shutters and undid the latch. You hiked up the skirt of your night dress, baring your skin to the cool breeze, and swung your legs out of the window and allowed your body to drop down. You needed to go, there was no more time for hesitation.

Your dress was held tight in each fist as you began to run, the light fabric brushing over your legs as you moved. In that moment you had wished for a pair of shears to shorten it.

A pitched howl echoed through the trees and your heart thrummed even harder in your chest. Your limbs froze on instinct and your ears rang with the sound of your blood rushing. It was too high of a tone to be him, you had heard the sounds he had made when he tore that other shifter to shreds. It wasn’t him but it was someone else.

A small, dark, furry form shot out from the cover of the trees and darted through the clearing. Its pace was sure yet frantic, like it still didn't have control of its four limbs nor its speed. As it came closer you began to take cautious steps backward. You knew who that was, it was the pup.

You watched in horror as the creature’s gait became wild and the pup began to trip over itself before the fur exploded from its skin and in its place was a little girl sprinting through the grass.

There was no denying the impossibility of what you had seen, after all you had seen it with your own eyes. There was no forgetting this.

“Mama!” She cried as she collided with your legs and displayed an impressive strength that was disproportionate to the size of her body, sending the both of you to the ground. The world turned sideways for a moment, and there it was once more. That flash of white that you had been seeing for weeks now. But it was closer this time, close enough that you recognized what it was. From the shape of the clothes on the fleeing form, you knew it was one of the clerics from the town. Has he been watching you all this time?

“I missed you, mama,” She said, pulling your attention to her as she stared down at you with a pair of dark brown eyes that sent chills through your veins. She looked so much like her father.

“Binna,” His voice shot through the air, “Remember what I said? Be gentle, you don’t want to hurt your mother.”

“Sorry!” She giggled as she pressed her cheek against your collarbone, her eyes fluttering shut and her long lashes casting shadows over the skin beneath her eyes. She wrapped her arms around your neck and hummed, the warmth from her body seeping into your skin.

“Sorry, mama.” She repeated.

You gently laid your hand over her back, your breaths still uneven as you pulled the two of you into a sitting position. “Sweetheart, I’m not your-“

“Binna, do you want to go see your room?” Yoongi asked, dropping down into a squat behind his daughter, his eyes on you as he spoke.

Binna let out an excited hum of agreement, scrambling up onto two legs that still wobbled unsurely beneath her weight. You noticed that she was never completely stable in either skin she wore, it was like she was still trying to figure out how four legs and two legs worked.

“Come on, dearest,” He said, holding his hand out to you. You sat there for a moment, stubbornly, but his gaze was unwavering and his body was as still as a statue. You knew there was no fighting him and he had played dirty by bringing his daughter into the equation. He knew that you wouldn’t want to start anything in front of her, the last thing that you wanted to do was frighten her.

You let out an angry huff and rushed to stand without his help, storming past him and walking a few paces behind his small daughter who would toddle every now and then before bending over and trying to walk on all fours instead.

As frustrated, frightened, and irritated as you were, you couldn’t deny the tug at your heart when you watched Binna crawl up the front steps of your home and scamper inside. You could hear the sound of her bare feet tapping against the wood floors and you couldn’t stop the resulting burn in your eyes. You had always wanted to hear that sound, you had always wanted a daughter of your own.

But Binna wasn’t yours.

But it was hard to long for that when you watched her disappear into the once empty nursery. You didn’t like what Yoongi was doing, he was messing with your head. He knew how badly you had wanted your child, how you had tirelessly grieved your husband, and now he was trying to patch everything together and force your lives to fit with one another.

You knew that he could understand your loss, he had lost a wife after all. He would do anything to avoid that happening again, and if that meant locking you up while he was gone, then he would do that. But that wasn’t what you wanted. You had locked yourself up for months on end, turning your home into a mausoleum as you grieved the loss of the life you had once had. You refused to do that again.

The door shut and the lock clicked.

You heard him approach and then you felt his warmth as your back and his breath disturb the hair on your head. It wasn’t all that different from the first time that you had met.

His fingers grazed your own and your hand twitched in response but you didn’t move. He intertwined your hands and pressed his forehead against the back of your head, breathing in your scent.

“You have to let me go, Yoongi.” You whispered.

He froze and a low, warning growl thrummed in his chest causing the hair on the back of your neck to raise. It didn’t matter what skin he was in, your body recognized him as the predator that he was.

“No.” He simply said.

“You’re not being fair -”

“I’ve been nothing but fair. I broke your door so I fixed it, I killed your husband and I gave you myself, you lost your child and I gave you Binna. I have been more than fair, so much so that I even gave you my love when you did not want it.”

You ignored that last part, the love you felt for him causing a stabbing pain of betrayal in your heart. It wasn’t fair that you still felt the way you did about him after everything that he had done. After he had tricked you.

“I am not Binna’s mother.”

He quickly hushed you, spinning you around by your shoulders and staring into your eyes, “She can hear you, she has very sensitive ears and a gentle heart, you don’t want to hurt her do you?”

You bit your lip in frustration, “It’s not fair to her mother.”

“You are her mother.”

And that conversation was over, he wouldn’t hear any of your protests and you feared hurting Binna too much to continue to broach the subject. You were caught in between a rock and a hard place. And the worst thing was that it was hard not to love Binna.

She was curious, mischievous, and sweet. She had been the same way when you discovered her as a pup, but you adored her even more this way. All she wanted was your attention, she was a little girl that was desperate to be loved by a mother.

“Why did you leave?” She stumbled over the words, her little fingers twisted in the fabric of your skirt as you had started dinner, the light of the sunset cast over her eyes and bursts of silver shined in their reflection.

You didn’t know how to respond.

“Mama’s back now, you don’t have to worry about that baby.” Yoongi answered for you with a gentle smile as he pulled her onto his lap.

“Forever?” She asked, staring at him with wide eyes full of wonder that only a child could possess.

“Forever,” He repeated, his eyes tracing over the profile of your face.

The questions didn’t stop there. It was a full moon that night and Binna demanded to be outside. Yoongi had briefly told you before about their connection with the moon. It was almost religious, but even that wasn’t a good comparison. It was a part of them.

“Shift.” Binna had commanded, tugging at your skirt again as she had quickly grown accustomed to.

“I can’t Binna,” You explained, lowering yourself into the grass so that you were more level with her height. “I’m not like you, or your daddy.”

Yoongi had stayed close to you all day, keeping a watchful eye on you to make sure that you wouldn’t try to leave them.

“But…” She said, her words trailing off as her face furrowed in confusion, “It was white.”

You were confused but a quick look at Yoongi cleared that up. His gaze was glassy like he was remembering something, something that he didn’t want to think about. Binna must have meant her mother, she must have seen her before she left. Her pelt must have been white.

Yoongi cleared his throat after a moment, “I think it’s time for bed.”

Binna, even though she was a shifter, was still a child. She whined in protest and went limp as Yoongi scooped her up in his arms and held onto your hand, guiding the two of you back into the house.

The door shut, the lock clicked.

The both of you cleaned Binna up together, her feet and hands dirty from struggling to crawl in her human form and her hair a mess of twigs and leaves. She had laughed as she watched the pile of leaves grow beside the basin and attempted to jump into it like it were a much bigger leaf pile than it really was.

And when she was clean, fed, and tired, she crawled into the center of the bed and reached her arms out for you. Your heart ached again. As soon as you laid down she was curled into your side, her little arms curled into her chest as she pressed her nose against the bite mark on your shoulder, taking in deep breaths.

The lamps in the room were snuffed out one by one, the room becoming progressively darker until it was completely plunged in darkness and only the gleam of silver eyes at the foot of the bed were visible. The bed dipped beneath Yoongi’s weight as he climbed in, laying on the other side of the bed behind his daughter. When he laid down he rolled over, wrapping his arm around the two of you and pulling you in closer to him.

Binna hummed a happy noise, burrowing deeper into your shoulder and burying herself beneath your blankets.

“What is she doing?” You asked, the first time you had spoken a direct question to Yoongi since that morning.

“You smell like me, it’s how we identify each other. She feels safe with you.” He explained.

“So that’s why you did it.” You said, a bitter edge to your words as you smoothed your hand over Binna’s freshly washed hair. “She doesn’t know any better.”

“That’s not true. She chose you, and so did I. She knew you were safe, that’s why she let you take her that day. And this,” His fingers ghosted over the mark sending chills down your spine, “was purely for my own selfish benefit. I wanted everyone to know that you’re mine.”

“You didn’t even give me the choice.”

“I love you, and I know that you love me.”

You remained quiet, not willing to agree or disagree with him. It was hard to make sense of madness, whether that be Yoongi’s or your own.

“You’ll see it eventually, this is what you wanted.”

~~~~~~~

When you woke the next morning, you immediately knew that something was wrong.

Firstly, Yoongi was gone. The spot on the bed that used to be your husband’s was cold, he had been gone for a while. Secondly, Binna was curled into the corner of the room, hiding beneath a blanket as she shook. And when you looked closer, you could see the tip of a snout and a still tail peeking out from beneath the blanket. She was frightened. Thirdly, there was smoke in the air, something was burning.

You stumbled out of bed when there was a pounding on the door.

“Open the door!” A man yelled, the door knob shaking as he tried to open it himself. Your instincts were screaming at you that something was wrong.

“Open up, and pay for your crimes!” He yelled again, this time throwing his weight against the door.

That couldn’t be right? Crimes?

You crept closer to the front window, the wood shutters were pulled shut but there was a crack that you had peered through, unnoticed, many times before. This time, the sight that you were met with was horrific. There was a large, angry crowd with torches outside - illuminating the pitch black field around your home.

You had heard of these events before, but never had you considered that you would become the victim of one, not when you were so isolated from the town. But it was happening now and you needed to act fast.

You rushed to the corner where Binna hid and scooped her up into your arms blanket and all. Her snout sniffed at your bite wound before she began to settle down. You ran to the nursery and to the very back of the room where the crib sat. You gripped it with one hand and with a strength you didn’t know that you possessed you pulled it aside. Your heart pounded and your breath was coming in harsh pants as you moved to the window.

“Binna,” You whispered, forcing yourself to make your voice as soft and soothing as you could. You had one priority right now and that was to get her safe. You had seen what those hunters were capable of before. “I need you to run as fast as you can, and I need you to find your daddy. Don’t stop running until you're safe, don’t stop no matter what you hear.”

Binna stared back at you, her ears perked up as her glossy silver eyes poured into your very soul. Binna was a little girl, but she was smarter than any human child. You trusted her.

A loud thwack sounded from the front door, a sound that you weren’t all that unfamiliar with - it was the sound of an ax striking the door. Your motions became faster and more panicked than before, your nails ripping at the bottom of the window that groaned as you forced it open. You grunted and with one more hard push, it popped and raised and there was enough room that Binna could slide through.

“Don’t stop running, be very brave.” You whispered before pressing a quick kiss to the space between her ears and lowering her as close to the ground as you could. And then, her body left your hand and her dark fur disappeared into the night. You could only hope that she could find help on time.

You had a terrible feeling that you weren’t going to make it out of this.

A loud crack and sharp splintering sounded from the front door and then the thud of boots entered the kitchen. You stayed as quiet as you could but you knew there was no hiding and you needed to buy Binna time.

You slid an oil lamp off of the dresser and hid by the door, waiting for it to open. The boots approached quickly, they didn’t want to give you time to get away and they were hunting you down. This was nothing like the way Yoongi had hunted you, it was un-practiced, frantic, amateur.

When the door to the nursery slammed open you brought the lamp down on the back of the man’s head and sent him crashing to the ground as blood pooled onto the wood. But when you darted out into the hallway, there was already someone else waiting for you.

You swung the lamp towards him with a scream but he dodged, grabbing your wrists and bending them in such a way that a sharp scream echoed through the cottage as you lost your grip and the lamp shattered upon impact with the ground.

The man from the nursery was up and moving and now he was behind you, pulling rope from his belt.

“You fucking bitch!” He yelled, and before you could move he had punched you clean across your face, sending you sprawling on the ground.

You could taste blood in your mouth as he straddled you from behind, wrapping the rope around your hands.

“Get off of me!” You screamed, wriggling desperately but to no avail. All it earned you was another strike to your head that made your vision blurry and spotted.

When you came to, you were being dragged out of your house. The door that Yoongi had painstakingly crafted was shattered.

And, as soon as the three of you were outside, torches were thrown and the house was lit aflame.

“No!” You screamed, guttural sounds that ripped through your throat. “No, no, no!”

Your husband had built that house. It was the only thing that you had left of him. It was yours, it was where you were supposed to make a family and grow old together. And now that dream, that life, was being burned to the ground.

It was absolute chaos.

The smell of smoke burned in your nose and made your eyes tear up on reflex. When you had thought of all the ways that you could possibly die, you had never considered this as an option. You wriggled violently in your bonds like a wild animal trapped in a snare. The rope was digging into your wrists leaving behind raw, bloody wounds. There was no escape, but you couldn’t help but try. If you didn’t free yourself, then this would be it.

There had been a time where you craved nothing more than to be reunited with your deceased lover, but when faced with the frightening reality of death you wanted nothing more than to live.

Violent, raw screams tore through your throat as you were held down to the ground. There were hands everywhere, gripping your shoulders, your legs, and one in particular that was knotted in your hair.

“Silence, witch!” A man yelled, pressing down on your neck and forcing your face into the dirt.

“Witch? Witch?!” You shrieked, another manic scream breaking up your words as you writhed against the ground.

You could hear the murmurs of the crowd that surrounded you and with a strained eye you could see nearly the entire town gathered around you and the men that held you captive. It was clear what this was, but you didn’t want to believe it. You didn’t want to believe that your own kind would turn on you like this. But that seemed to be your plight, those you tried to trust always turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The hand that was wound in your hair tightened its grasp spurring a pained gasp from you as they began to drag you. You could only desperately writhe in the dirt as you were pulled closer to the crowd. You were certainly a sight, your hair a deranged mess, filled with leaves and twigs with dirt smeared down your cheeks and staining the tips of your fingers. Their rough treatment of you had only served to make you appear as the very thing they feared. The thing they were accusing you of being.

You finally came to a stop in front of the town elder, the men behind you forcing you into an upright position on your knees, your arms still painfully stretched behind your back.

The elder looked at you in what could only be described as disgust.

“Behold, the witch who has brought a curse upon our village,” He spoke, his voice raspy and low, causing silence to descend over the group in order to hear him.

“I am no witch-“

“Quiet!” The man behind you yelled before delivering a harsh smack to the side of your head, forcing it to snap to the side as you cried in pain.

“The accused has brought death to all of your doors. She who murdered her unborn child in a covenant with the devil and brought those beasts to our home, and she who slayed her husband to feed those wretched demons and seal their bond to her will continue to slaughter us where we stand. What say you, shall we stand by and allow this to happen?” The elder said, opening his arms to the crowd who voiced their agreement.

This was the man who had known you since you were a child, the very man who had approved your courtship with your husband, the same man that married the both of you. This was the man that would ultimately kill you.

Yoongi was right, humans were horrible creatures.

Your body had gone limp, your head rolling forward as if your neck could no longer bear the weight of it. Desperate, wounded cries burst from your lips. You had not killed your baby, you had not killed your husband, but there was nothing you could say to change their minds. They had already made their decision.

“The punishment for these crimes shall be paid by that of which you are familiar,” The elder said, gesturing to a horrifying sight looming behind him, “Hellfire.”

You couldn’t hear the screams that burned your throat, you could only feel them. There was a loud ringing in your ears and the feeling of your feet and shoulders digging into the ground as you were dragged toward the stake and unlit pyre before you.

They were going to burn you alive.

Your cries for help were left unanswered, there was not a single look of empathy on anyone in the crowd. He had truly convinced them all that the deaths that had plagued the town were because of you. They believed you were the one that had brought the shifters upon them even though that didn’t make sense, they had been there long before you and longer than they realized. But there was no getting through to them. What the elder spoke was considered divine nature.

You sounded like a wounded animal, horrific sobs and screams shaking your body as you were tied to the stake. Nausea swirled in your stomach and your heart pounded, the fear that you felt was indescribable.

Vaguely, you understood that you were mumbling something repeatedly under your breath which was not helping your perception with the crowd. It looked like you were trying to cast a curse upon them. And if you could, you would.

But what you were saying was far from that. All you could brokenly whisper was, “I did not kill my baby.”

The scent of smoke became even stronger and from in between layers of your hair, you could see a torch flickering. The flames wavered, almost teasingly in nature, like it was deciding whether or not it would engulf you in its fiery embrace. Ultimately, that would not be its decision.

“Return from whence you came, witch,” The man before you spoke, and with the crook of the elder’s finger, he lit the pyre.

Heat licked at your feet and ankles as the fire slowly but surely crept up the logs and branches piled around you. This would be a long, slow, tortuous end to your life and that was what they wanted. They wanted to put all of their rage, pain, and hatred onto you and they would make certain you experienced the full extent of their wrath.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you accepted your fate. You cried as you watched the flames lap at the edges of your skirt - eating away at the hem. In a matter of seconds it would eat the fabric away and begin charing flesh and bone.

But it was when you lost all hope, that fate decided to play yet another trick on you.

Frantic cries were coming from the crowd and when you raised your head you were shocked by the sight of six massive wolves emerging from the trees. It took no time for you to realize that they were just like Yoongi. Binna had made it back to them, she had gotten them to come and help you and thankfully she was nowhere in sight.

The crowd pressed in closer to the elder, who’s face had gone gray at the sight of the wolves, as the six shifters surrounded them, corralling them all into one place.

In the midst of the madness, you hadn’t noticed the presence behind you until you felt your ropes loosening.

It was Yoongi.

The fire was searing both of your clothes yet he remained, slicing through your bonds with deft hands. He had come for you, he had saved you.

The moment your bonds slid from your hands he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you from the stake and pyre, the two of you sinking down to the ground in each other’s embrace.

“Yoongi,” You choked, your lungs thick with smoke and ash.

“Shh,” he hushed you, “just breathe, breathe for me sweetheart, just like that.”

His hand came to rest on your chest while he guided yours to his, taking in exaggerated breaths so that you could follow him.

Yoongi was many things: your husband's killer, your captor, your protector, and lastly - your savior. It was impossible for you to describe what you felt for him as it was no longer black and white. If there was anything you did believe, it was that nothing was ever that simple. There are many truths and many lies, it all was dependent on what you wanted to believe.

You coughed again, the force of it shaking your entire body as Yoongi pulled you into himself tighter. You were in his lap, chest to chest, with his nose buried in your hair. You could feel him breathing in your scent, a growl radiating through his chest when he realized it had been tainted by smoke and other men.

“I thought I lost you too,” he sighed before pressing a desperate kiss to your temple and then your cheek. He treated you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“Help us!” That raspy voice called out to you again.

You slowly turned your head to face the elder who had placed himself in the middle of the crowd, using the bodies of his people to shield him from the wolves that were steadily circling them.

Help them.

Help them?

Help them?!

You cocked your head to the side, a look of bewilderment and rage taking over your features. Why should you help them? After what they had done to you? After what they had accused you of?

Humans were horrible. You didn’t need them, after all, you much preferred to be alone.

You didn’t need other humans.

“Yoongi?” You whispered, maintaining eye contact with the elder.

“Yes?” He leaned forward, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“Kill them all.”

You felt his warm finger trace the curve of your jaw before turning your face in his direction. He looked down at you in a mix of adoration and excitement before leaning in and pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss.

“As you wish,” He murmured before setting you down on the ground and joining his brothers.

In a matter of seconds he burst free from his skin, a giant wolf in his place alongside the tattered remains of his clothes. The crowd screamed in fright from the sight of his transformation and then from the massive fangs of seven wolves.

You sat there, knees drawn into your chest as you watched Yoongi carve his way through the crowd and toward the elder. And, with great ease, he forced the man to the ground and ripped his head clean from his shoulders. A large spurt of blood soared through the smoggy air, painting the grass a vibrant color.

You watched on as several more people were felled by the shifters, their gruesome screams quieted by large jaws and hooked claws.

You were numb, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about their lives that were swiftly ended - their souls ripped from their bodies.

You craned your neck back and stared up at the full moon, eyes dull, red, and finally dry as more gurgled screams were silenced.

Out of sight, out of mind.

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brain-palacee · 2 years ago

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Equilibrium Prologue

Next Chapters: Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9

Jikook polyamory loosely based on Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Warning: angst and graphic smut in future chapters.

Word Count: 791

Polyamorous relationships are not as glamorous as they appear in the movies.

Granted, the sex is better—tangled limbs and wet kisses on every inch of skin imaginable, but not even the sex is worth the mind-numbing jealousy, the utter despair.

Because equilateral triangles do not exist in real life. There is no sense of order in human affections. No balance, no equilibrium. You are in love with Jimin, who loves Jungkook. And Jungkook loves… Has he ever loved anyone but himself?

On the outside, you smile widely and pretend that you’re perfectly content with this arrangement. But your façade crumbles, bit by bit, every time Jimin goes to Jungkook instead of you.

You’re not sure how much more you can take.

Keep reading

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brain-palacee · 2 years ago

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This is honestly disgusting and needs to be stopped

⚠️PSA – ickybatz is back!⚠️

TW for Mentions of Child Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse, Minor Sexual Content, Pedophilia, and Pedophile Conversations. PLEASE read and reblog if you can.

ickybatz, also known as batty-ruski, battyrusk, or demobatz is back and very active on AO3.

I did just find all their pedo shit on AO3. They say they are now back after a “mental health” break.

This 13-year-old CHILD has learned NOTHING from this situation. They are out here asking for pedophilia requests and it is even worse than their work was before.

I accidentally came across it, and I encourage you to report them and everyone interacting with their work. There is a difference between dark romance, dark fics, and straight-up romanticization of children being assaulted.

They write about these children actively partaking and enjoying it, hoping they can please the adult taking advantage of them. These works are clearly written for the type of person that gets off on it.

So much for “Oh, they are a traumatized child and made a mistake.” They now know it's wrong and continue doing it, even worse than before. And people continue to support it.

Their fucking apology was absolute bullshit. And everyone that came to their defense should be ashamed of themselves.

↓ Here are AO3 accounts supporting that shit. ↓

Yes, this time, they put warnings on their work and say “Don’t Like It, Don’t Read It!”

But I would like to show you what they are writing, and I am sure you have to agree with me that they and everyone supporting this need to lose any type of platform they own.

——————————————————

↓These are their two original works↓

——————————————————

↓This is their work in the Stranger Things Fandom↓

Their work “Deceit” which is taking requests and actively posting has, as of May 21st, 16 Chapters.

1 — “Using this as a coping mechanism for my own trauma. Please request, any age is allowed❤️”

2 — Eddie Munson, 25 y/o | Reader, 17 y/o

3 — Uncle Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson | Reader, 6 y/o

4 — Eddie Munson, 20 y/o | Reader, 12 y/o

5 — Steve, 19 y/o & Eddie, 20 y/o | Reader, 14 y/o

6 — Dad Steve | Reader, 8 y/o

7 — Dad Steve & Eddie | Reader, 8 y/o

8 — Big Brother Steve | Reader, 4 y/o

9 — Big Brother Billy Hargrove | Reader, 6 y/o

10 — “Posting this so that you all can give me ideas on what to post next❤️ Anything is allowed/ age can be whatever you want♡♡!”

11 — Billy & Steve | Reader, 3 y/o

12 — Hopper & Joyce | Reader, 4 y/o

13 — !BILLY HARGROVE AND A NEWBORN BABY!

14 — Billy | Reader, 6 y/o & Max, 7 y/o

15 — “It hasn't been a week and I'm almost at 2,000 reads! Thank you all so much♡♡ Feel free to drop suggestions, request or even ideas/blurbs♡♡”

16 — Big Brother Eddie / Reader over the years, starting at 6 y/o

——————————————————

They are fully aware of what they are doing. This is no innocent mistake. A mistake is made once but done over and over again, it is a pattern.

They are actively encouraging pedophilia.

If you are still trying to justify their actions, please do it off anon and openly so you can be blocked since you are part of the problem.

If you try to defend them, I will call you out.

If you know one or more of the interacting blogs, call them out.

Edit: I read through all their works and am highly triggered. This post is a very tame repetition of what I have read. It is so much worse, but I didn't want this post to become too graphic.

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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Devil That I Know Series Masterlist:

Pairing: Demon! Jungkook x Human! Reader

Genre: (Inaccurate) Historical AU || Strangers to lovers AU || Supernatural AU || Smut || Fluff || Angst

Story Summary: It took you years to come to terms with the fact that you and Jungkook would be together forever. You never remembered what he did in the darkness of the night, just blindly trusted that he would always have your back. Believed him when he told you lie after lie about what really happened to the people you cared about.

Part 1: Dear my Angel

Chapter summary: Being sent up the mountain as a human sacrifice is the last place you saw yourself in this lifetime, as your relationship progresses with the four-armed demon so does his obsession with keeping you by his side for the rest of his eternal life.

Part 2: In your dreams

Chapter Summary: Jungkook had told you that you had only been passed out for a few weeks, sure you were skeptical because there were no traces of your wounds that shouldn’t have healed in such a short amount of time but you’ll blindly trust him, knowing he would never do anything to hurt you. He then makes an offer to take you on a trip.

Part 3: Goodbye My Friend

Chapter Summary: Maybe the trip wasn’t such a good idea, Jungkook’s rage draws him to revenge, and you have to say goodbye to a friend.

Part 4: At the end of the crossroad

Chapter Summary: Picking which road to go down is easy when you think about how alone you would be without Jungkook, even if he hadn’t been the most honest with you from the start.

Part 5: Dancing phoenix

Chapter summary: Going home should have felt better than this.

Part 6: Golden

Chapter summary: You never expected to meet the king of the country, nor his assistant whose face brings back a few memories.

Part 7: True home

Chapter summary: A dive into the past makes you realise they really do look alike. And the sad reality is that he isn’t the man you once knew.

Part 8: What Year Is It?

Chapter summary: Jin brings a little more clarity into your life, only to step out of line when he finally brings up your situation with the demon that plagues the palace.

Part 9: The King

Chapter summary: Personally, you weren’t very fond of the Yoongi’s persuasion techniques. He may be the king of the country, but certainly not the king of seduction.

Part 10: Familiar Faces

Chapter summary: ???

Chapter 11: ???

Chapter Summary: ???

Chapter 12: ???

Chapter Summary: ???

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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This is the absolute sweetest thing 😭

BTS Jeon Jungkook- Void

It started out with a kiss. It was only a kiss. How did it end up like this?

It was 7:30 pm and I was laying in bed thinking about the kiss. Really it was nothing. A stupid dare, but it gave me butterflies. They told him to kiss someone who he'd never kiss before, and I was waiting to see him kiss some guy because there's hardly a girl he hasn't at least made out with. Then his calloused palm caressed my cheek, forcing me to look towards him, his fingers weaving through my hair. There was no hesitation, no second thought, he leaned in pressing his lips against mine. They were soft, and I could taste the cherry Chapstick he wore religiously in the winter. When he pulled back I swear his eyes sparkled as he looked down at me, but I was speechless.

I groan pulling a pillow over my face, letting out a long scream. I needed to stop thinking about it, because the more I thought about it, the more I thought about him and he wasn't the young boy who pulled on my pigtails, or the middle schooler who called me brace face or the high schooler who called me his wing man, while everyone else referred to me as his duff, he was the hot college sophomore who every girl is drooling over and apparently I was not the exclusion. I pulled the pillow down from my face hugging it to my chest. I didn't want to have a crush on Jeon Jungkook, my close friend since diapers, I never even thought about him that way and then he had to go and kiss me.

My phone started vibrating and I threw my hand out feeling around the sheets until my fingers found it. I lifted it up to see the person calling me was none other than the guy I couldn't get my mind off of. I rolled my eyes, tossing my phone down on the bed, I had been trying to keep my distance from him, just until I got my thoughts in order, but I've found out he's quite clingy. I heard rapid knocking on the door and knew that only belonged to one person. I also know he will continue knocking until he knocked the house down, he is like the big bad wolf, just he doesn't know his own strength, like a large dog. I hopped up and rushed to the front door, unlocking it before pulling it open.

We shared a look and his eyes fell to my pajama shorts, the blue ones with cherries I've worn since middle school "Cute," he said with a smirk. I roll my eyes shutting the door in his face causing him to whine and knock again. I was just waiting until my face quit burning before opening the door "What do you want?" I asked leaning against the doorframe. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and opened it to show me a word document, an entire ten page essay. I then looked back at him with an eyebrow raised "Please?" he asked with a hopeful grin. Despite his go with the flow attitude, Jungkook needed to excel, he wanted to be the best, but grammar was always his downfall. "This is the last time I do it for free," I muttered taking his laptop out of his hands, heading into my apartment towards the couch.

"Have you eaten?" he asked shutting and locking the door before kicking off his shoes, I settled onto the couch, opening his laptop again to begin reading his essay. "I've been busy," I answered, I heard the fridge open and then close "I'm ordering pizza, I'll get you something too," he said flopping down on the couch next to me. "Thanks," I mumbled trying to focus on his paper and not how little distance was between us. I never realized just how close Jungkook sits next to me, like any movement I make I am going to brush against him. I forced myself to focus back on his paper, and thankfully Jungkook remained quiet, just scrolling on his phone while I edited it. "Kookie, could you get me something to drink?" I asked absentmindedly patting him with my hand to get his attention. He groaned but stood up walking into the kitchen, he came back placing a glass in my hand.

It took a total of thirty minutes for me to edit his paper, meaning he was getting better, not that I would tell him that. Selfishly, I want him to need me to check his papers, honestly I just wanted to be of use for him. There was a knock on the door and Jungkook hopped up. He answered the door, paying the man for bringing food before coming back to sit down next to me. I closed his laptop and handed it over to him "It looks good honestly," I told him before taking the food he had gotten for me. "I got your favorite," he replied half a pizza in his mouth, he picked up the remote like he owned the place and logged into my Netflix. He turned on the show that we had been watching together and the two of us ate.

Once we were done, Jungkook laid down on the couch, his head resting in my lap. He wiggled his body indicating he wanted me to run my fingers through his hair. "What?" I asked trying to hide my grin, he turned his head to look up at me with a pout "Pets," he said as if it were simple. He turned his head back towards the TV, his warm cheek pressed against my thigh. My hand found his head, my fingers weaving through his hair, my nails scraping along his scalp. He sighed in content, his body relaxing. The thing about Jungkook was that he was always moving, even when sitting he would be moving his feet, toes, legs, fingers, it was impossible for him to be still. It was only times like these would he be completely still.

"I'm thinking on seeing my parents next weekend," he said quietly, Jungkook hadn't gone home since he left for college. His parents were unsupportive in him going to college for photography, saying he had more potential, that he should try to geta more impressive degree. They told him if he went to school for photography they would not be helping him financially at all, luckily for him he had gotten a full ride through sports. He rolled so he was laying on his back, looking up at me "Would you come with me?" he asked and my heart started pounding. I knew he was only asking because my parents live across the street from his and we have been friends for so long, but ever since the night he kissed me, I can't help but wonder, or think, maybe we are moving past friendship.

"Honestly, my sister-in-law is pregnant and my brother asked me to take her maternity photos, unfortunately they want to take them at my parents house. I don't want to make the drive myself," he added trying to convince me, "Oh, uh, sure, I don't have plans that weekend," I answered him getting him to smile "You're the best!" he said before sitting up. He lifted up his phone to check the time "Uh, I gotta go," he said collecting his things, "Mina doesn't like waiting," he added causing a weird twinge in my heart. It never used to bother me when he talked about other girls, but now I kind of wished I was the only girl. "You're prettier when you smile," he said and I glared at him "You're cooler when you don't talk," I replied.

He faked offense placing a hand over his chest as if to say he's wounded "I was complementing you," he whined and I stood up taking his wrist leading him to the front door. "Don't keep Mina waiting," I said with a bit more sarcasm than intended, "Hey," he said placing his hand on my shoulder to get me to look at him. "You're still my favorite girl," he said causing het to rise up my neck "Just get outta here," I said biting my lip to hide the smile. "I'll text you about the weekend," he said before actually leaving my apartment. I felt like my heart was going to explode and I was glad Jungkook didn't stay any longer because I was now a flustered mess. This boy had my emotions jumping all over the place and I needed to get it under control.

I decided to do the most to unwind for the night. Taking a hot shower, doing all my skin care, even adding a mask for good measure, even painting my toenails. I pulled on my softest pajamas before pulling my favorite ice cream out. I opened my phone and decide to scroll through instagram. And as luck would have it the first picture on my feed was of Mina. One of Jungkook's regular casual hookups, also known as the hottest girl on campus and she does ballet. It was posted only three minutes ago. I recognize the tattered black couch in the background, she must have been at a frat house party in a form fitting mini dress that perfectly showed her figure.

I couldn't help but fall into self loathing. I zoomed in on every feature of her perfect body. Her pretty hair, sexy legs, tiny waist that curves out into hips. She knew how to use make up to accentuate her already pretty features. Straight, white teeth, perfect jawline. I threw my spoon into the sink, tossing my ice cream carton into the garbage, even though it was only half gone. I go back to the photo, scanning it over until my eyes land on him. He's in the background leaning against the wall, his phone in his hand, head directed towards it. I pinched it closer to zoom in on his face for a while, staring at my phone until my vison goes blurry. Every doubt and insecurity I've had over the last few weeks hits me like a wave that wanted to drown an suffocate me.

Why did he have to kiss me? I not even half as pretty. It was only a kiss, but now it's all in my head and my stomach is sick. She's touching his chest, and he takes off her dress. I press the lock button on my phone to turn the screen back to black. I couldn't look any longer, it felt like it was killing me. My jealousy was consuming me. Mina. I couldn't stand her. Not that any of it was her fault. Who was I to hate her over a guy? That was so unlike me. How could I compare myself to Mina, when Jungkook thinks of her far more romantically than me.

"Y/n?" my roommate called, I hadn't even notice she had come inside "Why are you crying?" she asked and I reach up towards my face to wipe tears off my cheeks. She tossed her bag aside and rushed over towards me, taking me into her arms and I floored her. I told he everything about Jungkook, who he was to me, how important he was, and how he had kissed me. We were laying on the floor of the kitchen at three in the morning, both of us starstruck. "He always just seemed like your brother or something, but the way you just talked about him...." I nodded my head in understanding "Yeah," I agreed with her silent disbelief. I had fallen hard for the boy.

So, three days later when Rosie convinced me to go to a party with her, I slipped into the only party dress I kept from high school, did my hair real nice and slapped on some make up and a smile. I was beginning to think it was actually a good idea to go out. That was until we got inside the frat house, I forgot how suffocating it felt to be in one. Sweaty bodies everywhere, grinding against each other, shoulders bumping into me as they squeezed by to get into the kitchen. My head was already pounding, the blaring speakers and strobe lights were no help. "You look miserable." I wasn't, but getting there. I turned to look at him, bangs sticking out beneath his bucket hat. His shirt was stretched to the side, pink lip gloss making a glittery trail down his neck. Red marks blooming. "It's late for you."

"I go out sometimes," I replied getting him to snort a laugh "You hated going out," he reminded me and I crossed my arms "And you don't know how to show up somewhere alone," I reminded him. He chuckled "Just go home," he said as if it were simple, which it would be if Rosie hadn't snuck off somewhere with her boyfriend. Who knows how long they were going to be gone. "If Rose isn't back in twenty I'm going to flip," I said checking the clock on my phone. "Don't be a party pooper," he teased taking a step closer so he didn't have to yell over the music. "Can't you just go home by yourself?" he questioned. I raised an eyebrow at him "You want me to walk home alone?" I replied and a wave of emotions ran through him "Yeah no," he added.

"I'll walk you home," he said reaching down to grab my wrist, but I slap his hand away "No, I'll go find Rosie-" "Let her have fun, besides he only comes up like twice a month," he said cutting me off "let me take care of you, like old times," he added. My heart did the stupid thumping out of it's cage thing "Aren't you in the middle of-" my eyes look over to see Mina glaring at me, the glittery lip gloss looking mighty familiar. She was on the opposite side of the room, watching the two of us, probably wondering if Jungkook had already slipped from her grasp to the next thing that had caught his attention "Something?" I finally finish looking back towards him. He hardly glances over his shoulder, "Mina doesn't care, she had half the football team after her," he said with a shrug. He sent her a wave to signal he was leaving for the night and even from a distance I could tell she was disappointed.

I take a deep breath once we get outside, the air was so much fresher. The wind brushes through the leaves, knocking them to the ground, I could tell fall was right around the corner. "Let's go," he said putting his arm over my shoulders pulling me into his side. I couldn't help but feel like the second choice girl. You know the girl in the drama who he only comes back to because he has either gotten tired of the one he has or because he couldn't have his crush. I was never going to be the girl he chose first. I pulled out of his grasp, pushing him away. Biting the inside of my lip, begging myself not to cry. "You could've stayed-" "I know," he said cutting me off and my eyes moved to the ground at his upset tone "I could've, but I couldn't let you walk home alone," he said and I nodded.

The air was thick and I felt this wall between us. "Why are you trying to hard to push me away," he asked almost sounding as if I had hurt his feelings, "What are you talking about?" I asked feeling heat crawl up my skin. "You just always seem kind of mad at me," he explained and I lifted my head to look at him "I-I'm not mad," I stuttered trying to come up with an explanation "I thought maybe you were mad that I kissed you," he added and now I knew my cheeks were red. "It's just- school's been rough," I explained before reaching out and taking his hand "You always tend to take things out on people because you know that even if you're a bitch to them, they would never leave you. It's kind of like that," I said. I was pulling it out of my ass, but that didn't make it any less true.

With a tug, he pulled me back under his arm "I can take it," he said and my heart did a thing, it was like he was telling me that he wouldn't leave me. Maybe I wasn't the first choice, or the second choice, but I was the girl next door that he always came back to. We got to my apartment and he told me that he would pick me up after my last class was over and we would head home. That night I went to bed with a smile on my face because technically I was the girl that Jungkook brought home that night. Take that Mina.

The road trip back home reminded me of when we first moved out to college, we were hauling a whole lot less, but we were excited. Jungkook even played the same playlist me made for us back then, I was surprised he hadn't deleted it yet. We were singing at the top of our lungs. It felt good. We managed to get home before the clock struck midnight. "Don't you want to see my parents?" he begged as we got our bags out of the backseat "I- do, I just figured I'd swing by tomorrow sometime," I answered him honestly. He pouted "Please, it'll help keep the heat off me," he said, his arms full of bags that carried his photography material. "Fine," I said closing the door before walking up the sidewalk towards his parents house. He opened the door and we fell inside "Would that be my baby brother?" his brother was the first to come running, his smirk widening when he saw me "Never without this girl," he said hugging me first.

The rest of his family appeared "I see you two are still friends," his mother said with a happy smile "You know this is the girl I'm going to marry," Jungkook said putting his arm over my shoulders. A million things raced through my mind. His family all chuckled and Jungkook looked towards me "I'm joking, Y/n," he said and with two words he had them all crumbling. I tried to not look as crushed as I felt. I smiled along with the rest of them. I watched him wondering if he even though for a second that when he said that it'd excite me? Hoping one day he would mean it? I always thought I'd make a fool of someone else, whoever Jungkook dated, because he'd realize it was me he was looking for, but I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, like I was making a fool of myself.

"I should go see my own family. I just wanted to say hi," I said bidding the whole family goodnight as well before crossing the road to my families home. Every room in the house was dark, so I lifted a pot that sat on the porch and picked up the spare key. I let myself into the quiet house, carefully taking off my shoes and climbing the stairs as if I was sneaking back home after being out all night. I went into my childhood room and crawled under the covers. I pulled out my phone and clicked on my favorite app, instagram, per usual mina was at the top of my feed. It was a blurry picture of her kissing someone, I didn't have to zoom in to guess who it could be. Instead I turned off my phone and decided it was probably best if I went to sleep.

Jungkook had me up bright and early to hold one of his photo reflective screens so we could get some nice pictures of his pregnant sister-in-law. She was glowing, almost as bright as the sunlight that was coming up behind her. Jungkook patted me head and I squatted lower into the position he wanted as he continued taking photos. Jungkook doesn't speak when he is photographing, he's using all his focus and attention on getting a good picture. I knew a part of him wanted to prove to his parents that his major wasn't a complete waste of time. After thirty minutes, when the sun was high up in the sky Jungkook called for a break. He showed the pictures to his sister-in-law who was near tears, exclaiming how beautiful he had made her look.

"In a bit we can get some with him," he said pointing towards his brother and she nodded her head "Show us too," Jungkook's mom called from the kitchen and Jungkook went rushing in like a elementary student with his first art project. "That's the smile I was talking about," his older brother said to his wife and when I looked towards the two of them they were both smirking "What?" I asked getting them to giggle. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed for some reason, cheeks reddening, "What?" I asked again. They laughed "He was just telling me that you have this smile that's for Jungkook only and now I've seen it," she explained, a part of me wanted to run away and hide "I-I don't-" they both laugh again as I struggle to find the words to explain.

Jungkook came back out "Should we get back to it?" he asked and the three of us agreed as if we weren't just talking about my apparent obvious crush on Jungkook. We moved to another part of the yard and Jungkook told them how to pose, but they were struggling to understand what they meant. "No- Y/n, come here," Jungkook said grabbing my arm and spinning me around so my back was pressed against his chest. "Like this," he said said wrapping his arms around me the way he wanted them to, and with smiles they copied us "yes!" Jungkook hopped away from me and started taking pictures and I went back to holding the reflective piece as he wanted previously.

After all the photographs were taken, Jungkook's mother had us all sit down for lunch. "How's school going you two?" she asked and we shared a look with each other, "Well, I'm swamped with tests and homework," I answered first, "Still going for OGBYN?" his father asked and I nodded my head "Lots of biology," I replied. His father sighed "Think he could've kept up?" he nodded towards Jungkook who rolled his eyes "Yeah," I answered getting him to look at me in betrayal "But I think it would've killed him," I added ignoring his stare "While he is smart enough, this kid oozes creativity. Like just last week he picked up painting like he's Picasso or something," I said getting them to laugh. "I think he needs to express his creativity or he'll explode, besides his photos are breathtaking," I said before going back to eating.

"My classes are going good. Apparently I am the top of class," Jungkook said answering his mother's earlier question and then the topic moved onto Jungkook's brother and wife and the future baby. Afterwards I said I was going home and Jungkook said he would walk me across the street. "Old classmates heard we were in town, invited us to a party," he said and I rolled my eyes "You mean they invited you," I replied. He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't remember, but I knew "Should we go?" he asked and I shook my head "I'm not one for parties," I answered and he pouted "You went with Rosie the other day," he complained. I nodded in understanding "Yes, and it helped me to realize why I hated them. Why do you like them so much, you go to one every night," I turned it around on him and he shrugged.

"Just admit your horny," I said bluntly getting him to shift uncomfortably "And you're not?" he questioned causing my cheeks to burn "We both know I was your first college party kiss," he teased, I shoved him in embarrassment that he said it out loud. "I just think... I want that kind of stuff to be with someone I care about," I mumbled crossing my arms, "I don't understand hook ups," I said. We stopped in front of my parents house "It's simple really, you can't have the one you want, so you find someone who will," he said before pressing a kiss to my cheek before heading towards his car. "Is there someone you want?" I called after him but he just waved his hand goodbye ignoring my question.

He left me with a million questions in my mind and took nearly a hundred of pictures with students of new and old. Of course, he made out with a few. I was dreading the drive home tomorrow. In fact, I was so worried, I pretended to be extra sleepy in the morning. I closed my eyes resting my head against the window, "You didn't even party and you're tired?" he questioned with a chuckle "Diggy kept me up," I replied talking about my thirteen year old family dog. "They asked where my sidekick was," Jungkook said and I opened my eyes to glare at him, only to see a hickey that just barely peaked out over the top of his shirt. My whole mood shifted, it was getting harder and harder to not feel jealous. I closed my eyes and curled up on the seat hoping that it would be over there. "Mina said she's-" "I'm trying to sleep," I snapped at him before I even realized it.

We were silent for the rest of the ride, even when we pulled up to my apartment, neither of us said anything. I reached for the handle of the car door, but he locked it. I sighed "I'm sorry I was snappy," I said turning to look at him but he was not looking at me. "Are you jealous of me?" he questioned and I looked at him confused "Jealous?" I almost had to laugh, "Yeah are you jealous that I hook up with so many people and you don't?" he said and I almost laughed again "You know you'd have a lot more people knocking down your door if you smiled more," he added. I manually unlocked the door, only for him to lock it once again. "How do I get it through your thick head that I don't want to do random hook ups," I said glaring at him "When you explain to me why the hell you get so pissed at me!"

"Then you explain why you feel the need to hook up with so many people!" he ran his fingers through his hair "What does it matter to you?" he replied and I felt tears well in my eyes "Because you matter to me," I replied weakly. I unlocked the door and got out, grabbing my backpack out of the back as quickly as I could. I headed towards my apartment without looking back, I unlocked the door but it wasn't my hand that turned the handle. "I thought I told you-" I turned around and his dark gaze was enough to shut me up "I matter... eh?" he said backing me into my own apartment. He kicked the door closed with his foot as he shrugged off his jacket "I didn't hook up with anyone last night. I get checked regularly and I always have things in my pocket." I blushed at what he insinuated "Jungkook I-"

I tipped over the shoes in the doorway, and Jungkook managed to catch me by my waist. He was so close now I could see the mole under his lip. "You're sexually stressed, but you don't want to hook up with random people, so hook up with me," He said, I pulled away from him and he pushed his black hair back from his forehead "Tell me you haven't thought about it," he said as if he was daring me. "I-I mean..." I didn't want to lie, but everything about him was flustering me. "I have," he said without even thinking twice about it, he caught my hands and pressed them against his firm chest.

I feel dangerously close to something that might kill me, and still I lean into him, blinded by instinct, deaf to everything but the ferocious beat of my own heart. He pulls back, just an inch. His hands were under my shirt, his bare arms wrapped around my bare skin and his mouth lingering just above mine. The heat between us threatening to ignite. He pulls me closer and I bite back a moan, losing my head as the hard lines of his body sink into mine. He is everywhere, his scent, his skin, his breath. I see nothing but him, I sense nothing but him, his hands spread across my torso, my lungs compressing under his careful, searing exploration. I lean into the sensations, his fingers grazing my stomach, the small of my back. He touches his forehead to mine and I press up, onto my toes, asking for something, begging for something.

"What-" I gasped, "What is happening-" he cuts me off with a kiss. Soft lips, waves of sensation. Feeling overflows the vacancies in my mind. His hands slid down to my thighs, hoisting me up so that my legs wrap around him. He carries me with ease, all the way to my bedroom without even breaking a kiss. He dips me backwards until my back hits the mattress. His hands brush over my thighs to my bare hips, achingly slow until his fingertips brush over my breasts. With each mound in his hands he gives a squeeze getting me to moan into his mouth. He took the opportunity to explore the cavern of my mouth, his tongue gliding across every inch claiming it as his own. His hands slide around my back, by the time he pulls away the shirt was crumpled around my neck.

I allowed him to remove the shirt and toss it somewhere in the room, his eyes traveled over my exposed skin, lust in his eyes. We have never been this exposed to each other, and I couldn't help but think of the other girls he has had beneath him, many of them far better looking than me. I couldn't help but feel insecure, I brought my arms up over my chest to try and cover up a bit. "No, baby," his voice more gruff, he grabbed my wrist pulling them away, slotting himself between my legs. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing, then sucking, then nipping as his lips travel down my skin. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders my fingers clinging onto his hair as I let out a breathy sigh. He flicks his tongue across my nipple, getting me to arch into him, "Jungkook," i whine as his mouth continues it's menstruations against my chest.

His fingers hook around my panties before slowly tugging them down, until they were nothing but a puddle on the floor. He buries himself between my legs, running his tongue the length of my slit. I whimper, my fingers finding his hair as he added more pressure to his licks. Just seeing the raven haired boy between my thighs was enough to bring me to my end. His lips clasp around my clit catching me off guard, causing me to clamp his head between my legs as a reflex. His hand come up and pries my thighs open before continuing to suck and nibble on my clit causing my stomach to tighten. "Oh God Jungkook," I whimpered throwing my head back as he continued to eat me out, he then added his fingers into the mix, hitting my g-spot nearly instantly. I could feel myself close to snapping, "I want you in me Jungkook," I beg grabbing his hair pulling him to look up at me.

His mouth was covered in my slick, his lips red and swollen, his eyes nearly completely black. "Please," I asked as his fingers continue to pump in and own of me. "You'll get it baby, but first I need you to come," he said, his thumb playing with my clit as his mouth came to my neck and chest nipping and sucking at any skin available to him. It hit me as a train, the orgasm, Jungkook's name being the only thing I knew how to say. "You want more?" He questioned with a smirk and I nodded my head "I don't know baby, you look tired." there was that name again, I couldn't help but wonder if that's what he called everyone. I ran my fingers over his stomach, then to the hem of his sweatpants, tugging them down, exposing his thick thighs.

I smirked at the bulge in his boxers, I lean up pressing innocent kissing along his jaw as my hand traveled down his V-line beneath the waistline of his boxers. He grunted as I took his thick length in my hand, hard and hot in my palm. He was quick to grab my wrist and pull it back "It's about you," he replied before wiggling out of his boxers, giving me a full view of the perfect body he kept hidden beneath those baggy clothes. His hands firmly on my hips, his lips crushing against mine, we didn't even take a minute, we were full on making out in a matter of seconds. Sloppy wet kisses echoing around the empty apartment. One of his hands traveled between my thighs and his fingers coming to tease my clit, moaning, breaking away from the kiss, causing him to sloppily suck on my neck.

"I gotta get-" "Raw," I cut him off and he looked at me worried "I'm clean, you're clean, I've had an IUD for two years," I explained, a part of me worried that he would not take risk, but the other part was hoping he'd agree because I am special. He lines the tip of his penis with my entrance, running it through my folds, collecting my juices before guiding it in with the slow rock of his hips until his thick cock disappeared into my hole. Once he bottoms out I groan at the full feeling, the stretch a bit more than I've ever had before, Jungkook was big. He kissed me to distract himself from my spasming walls. I locked my legs around his waist bringing him closer than before, he took this as an okay and started rocking his hips in and out of my own.

He continues to slam himself into me, seat dripping down my forehead as he furrowed his brows in concentration. He groaned throwing his head back when I clench my walls around him. "Shit," He cursed before speeding up. I could feel the tension building up again, soft whimpers leaving my lips. He brough his hand down to my clit, only making it come over me a lot faster. I was seeing stars. If this was how Jungkook made every girl feel, then I can see why everyone was willing to get into his bed. He followed me shortly after, painting my walls, deep inside me. He pulled himself out and grabbed a few tissues from my bedside table and then offering a few to me. Both of us silently cleaning ourselves up.

He rubbed the back of his neck "Well..." he pulled his clothes back on "I told Mina that I'd let her throw her birthday party at our frat," he explained pulling out his phone, no doubt to check the time. "Right," I said pulling my blanket over myself, "You can come, I mean, any party of mine is a free pass for you," he replied, I gave him a weak smile and shook my head "I don't like parties," I told him and he nodded "Okay... Well, I'm sure I'll see you around," he said. He held out his knuckles to me, I gave him a questioning look and he blushed letting his fist drop "That was weird," he said before heading towards the front door "Bye!" he shouted from the front door. Him closing it rattled the entire house, which felt even more empty now.

I wanted him to stay.

The sunrise through my window woke me up the next morning. I was still wrapped up in my blanket, without any clothes on. I force myself out of bed and head into the bathroom to take a much needed shower. My first class wasn't until noon, so I took my time getting ready before heading out for the day. I decided to walk to campus because I knew it wasn't far, but it would take a few minutes. When I got to the campus I noticed there were several students going in and out of the art building. I reached towards my pockets only to realize I must have left it back at home. I walked towards the building to see that they were throwing a preview viewing of the art students exhibits that they'd be presenting to professionals at the end of the year. I looked towards my wrist to see that I still had an hour or so before my class started, I decided to walk into the building.

The first floor was full of paintings and ceramics which were very impressive, but I knew the whole reason I decided to even come and look was to see the photography. I climbed to the third floor which was full of prints all over. They were all moments and memories in time. I found Jungkook's name and I braced myself for what I was going to see. The first title was called I Wonder Who I'm Lookin' For, it was a collage of photos. They seemed as if they were purposely blurry, as if to hide the identity of the people in the photos, yet you could clearly see the lights and cups that indicated a party. The ugly brown couch nearly in every single one of them. The photos really made you go back to those moments at a party where everything felt a little blurry.

The next picture was of a girl. She was sitting on the car window, leaning back, her hands holding onto the inside of the car to keep her from falling out. She was sitting sideways but her head was towards the front of the car where the sunset was. The photo could've been mistaken for black and white because the car and the girl's outfit and hair were dark, but the beautiful lights and sky that shot around her reminded you the sun was still there. This one was titled Cause You Don't Go To Parties Anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows and moved closer to get a better look at the photo. I realized that this gorgeous photo was of me. Jungkook must have taken it when we stopped for gas on the way to his parents. I was hanging out the window to keep him company while he filled the car up.

I moved onto the next photo which had looked like it had been dipped into bleach. You could make out there was a person in to photograph and they looked distressed in the black and white photo. I checked the title and it said Bleach In My Head, Just To Get Away, and there was another collage of photos that were all had been bleached. It was people kissing, blurry photos, similar to the ones Mina liked to post to her instagram. I looked at the next one to see it was a hand reaching out into the darkness which was also bleached. It was titled I'm Washing It Out, Until I Figure Out, Livin' Without You. I didn't even realize I had spent so long looking at the photos, the next time I looked at my watch I only had five minutes to get to class.

I was literally running to class and when I sat down I was in the back of the class and panting trying to catch my breath. I opened my notebook and instead of taking notes I decided to write down the titles of all of Jungkook's photos. I wonder who I'm Lookin For, Cause You Don't go to Parties Anymore. Bleach in my head, just to get away. I'm washing it out, until I figure out living without you. It was as if he was trying to tell a story, but what was the meaning? Why did he choose to use a photo of me for his gallery. I didn't want to look further into it, besides I needed to focus on class. I tried to get it out of my head, but it seemed like everyone was whispering about the art exhibit.

I walked out of class and bumped into someone knocking their things out of their hands. I reached down and picked it up, to see that they had a message from Jungkook. "Sorry," I said handing the stuff to the person I bumped into. She narrowed her eyes at me "You've seen the exhibit?" she asked and I nodded "Yup," I answered awkwardly. Something snapped in her, it was like I said something that offended her to her soul. "You piss me off," she said shoving her phone into her pocket "You're the one he wants, you know," he said causing my heart to skip a beat, but I shook my head "He doesn't see me the way he sees you," I answered and she shoves me, hard. I look into her eyes to see the tears "Then make him see," she said, but it only pissed me off "If I could be like you I already would be," I replied fixing my backpack strap over my shoulder "I wanted to be you."

"Screw you," she said, only when she started to say it over and over, even stomping her foot did I realize that other people had looked towards us. "So did I," she said glaring at me "I wanted to be you," her voice was quieter, she took a deep breath and fixed her composure "But we can only be ourselves... You are the only one he wants," she said with a sigh. "You're the only girl he treats as more than just a fuck. He walks you home without any further motivation than wanting to make sure you got home safe." she let out a fake laugh "So don't sit there and tell me you want to be like me, because I can guarantee that every girl who has the hots for Jungkook wishes they were you." she turned and walked off.

The last few years went running through my mind as I head home. I don't remember Jungkook ever having a girlfriend, he hung out with girls, made out with them, had sex with them, but he never dated any of them, he wasn't friends with them, they were usually just hook ups. Then there was me. When I got home I went straight into Rosie's room, finally admitting to her how Jungkook and I had slept together. "Casual sex is alright, sex with friends is good because they care about you, want you to feel safe and pleasure," she explained and I nodded my head chewing on my lip "but not if you love them. You're only going to be the one to get hurt. So you have two choice; tell him you love him," she pointed to one finger "or don't continue to have sex with him," she said pointing towards the second finger.

I fell back against her bed with a sigh "I just confused by him. I don't know if he feels what I'm feeling," I said reaching up to grab at my aching chest. "Well, everyone is talking about the photo he took of you. People are saying it's what falling in love looks like," she said getting me to blush before turning my head to look at her. "The photography students exhibit was based on their life this semester, everyone was blurry except you," she pointed out and I shook my head "It's terrifying," I whispered and she nodded her head "It is, but it's always worth it." I hummed. "Since you're here, want to study?" she questioned pushing her books towards me, I sighed "I guess this will distract me."

As soon as we were done studying, Rosie was off to go see her boyfriend who was in town with movie tickets. I heard a persistent knock on the door not five minutes later causing me to believe that Rose had forgotten her keys. "I'm coming!" I called from my room as I walked towards the door. I pulled it open only to be greeted by Jungkook and there was no hesitation in me closing the door in his face "No- hey, I'll pay, this is important," he said from the other side of the door. I took a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart before opening the door again. He now had his laptop balanced on his forearm as he showed me a short paragraph "I want you to tell me it's okay. It's my description for the art exhibit," he explained.

I took his laptop and walked into my apartment, already reading his very illusive description of his inspiration for this gallery. I fixed some minor errors, made some of the sentences sound better, and change the margins, font size to make it look nicer. "It's due tonight," he said reminding me he was there, standing next to me, watching over my shoulder as I edit it. "It's perfect, Jungkook," I told him clicking the save button, he let out a sigh in relief "Good, I worked hard on the photos," he said shaking his head side to side "Bleach is hard to work with," he added running his fingers through his hair. "Well, that's all I really needed, Mina asked me to study with her tonight," he said grabbing his laptop and putting it into his satchel bag.

He walked towards the front door and turned the handle, pulling it open. It felt like everything was in slow motion. I rushed to the door pushing it closed, his hand still holding onto the handle. "Y/n?" I heard him say in a 'are you okay?' voice. I felt sick and couldn't bring myself to look at him. There were so many bad omens, but I decided to look right through them, because that's what you do when you love someone. I turned around to face him, my back against the wall, using my entire body weight to keep it closed. I could feel my eyes well up with tears "I cried... in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time because-" I shook my head knowing I wasn't making sense. I looked up at him and he seemed worried "I died when you left that night for the thousandth time because you love somebody... else." my voice came out weak.

"Please don't meet up with her."

My eyes fell down and his hand that was on the door fell to his side. "Don't meet up with anyone. I don't think I could take it," I said reaching up grabbing at the tight feeling in my chest. I didn't want to look into his eyes, I didn't want to know how he was looking at me right now. "Two years, twelve days, eight hours, and nine minutes," he said one of his hand resting on the door beside my head "I spent every second thinking of you," Jungkook's lips brushed against mine as he spoke "I thought I knew what I wanted before, the parties, chasing the next high. Being the most popular, most liked person in the room. I thought those things would make me happy. And they did, temporarily. But you..." he rested his forehead against mine, forcing me to look at him "You're the only thing that could make me happy forever."

I choked out a half laugh, half sob. "Careful Jeon, keep saying things like that and I might never let you go," I said looking towards the door and then back at him. His beautiful dimples appeared in all their glory "I'm counting on it." he curled his hand around the back of my neck and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "In case it's not clear, I fucking love you Y/n Y/l/n," he told me as our lips parted and I was shocked, I had expected to confess to him and ruin our friendship, yet here he was telling me he loved me. "All those girls... Mina..." I tried to put words to my thoughts. he caught my cheek in his hand and caressed the side of my face "Filling the void? If you can't have what you want, it doesn't matter what you get," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"I didn't think... I was scared to lose you. I had been your friend for so long I figured you wouldn't see me as anything else. I mean I kissed you and that seemed like enough to send you running for the hills," he said with a fake laugh "I-my feelings were hurt," I explained causing him to furrow his eyebrows "I'm not as half as pretty as the other girls on campus I saw you with, and I was the only girl in the whole room you hadn't kissed? It was embarrassing," I complained. He shook his head "You're not half as pretty, you're beautiful," he said before kissing me sweetly again "I thought I ruined everything because you were pissed at me after that, I though there was no way you'd like me-" "I realized... I love you." it was my first time saying those words to a guy, but they didn't feel strange. It was Jungkook after all.

"So I was trying to push you away because.... well we've always been just friends and you... you were off with so many girls," I stuttered with red cheeks and he nodded "I wanted you though," he admitted without hesitating. I reached out and grabbed his sweatshirt "All you had to do was stay," I told him, his lips caught mine in a slow sweet kiss. "Then I'll stay. I fucking love you, for years," he said with a chuckle, I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I'll stay as long as you will have me. It's all I've wanted," he added.

** 2 Years Later**

"Gorgeous, baby," Jungkook said behind the camera, we had been taking my college graduation photos for the last hour and all he has said about every picture is that it was perfect. Over the last two years I had become something close to his muse, so I learned how to pose for the camera. Our families were all over at my parents, we were having a backyard grill party for our graduation. It felt no different from when we were graduating high school, yet everything had changed. "Okay set it up so we can get some together," I whined, feeling embarrassed that everyone could've watched us take all these pictures of me "fine," Jungkook said with a pout that told me he wasn't done taking pictures yet.

He set his camera up on the tripod before walking over to me with his clicker in his hand. His hand naturally followed the curve of my lower back, hand cupping my opposite waist. He pulled me into him and I leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. He pressed the button meaning that the camera had taken a photo. I turn my head towards the camera and flashed it a smile I would if Jungkook were behind the camera. I felt his nose brush along my hairline before his lips met my ear "Marry me, baby," he whispered. All the chaos and the noise of our family drained out as I turn to look at him, and he just gave me the cheeky smile he does when he is up to no good.

He pulled his hand out of his pocket, but instead of holding the clicker like I thought he was, there was a small velvet box. He used his thumb to flick it open and show me the beautiful ring. "You're crazy mad." I was near tears as I leaned up to kiss him, my hands moving to the side of his face "You crazy, crazy man." I kiss him as if my whole life led up to this moment "Will i be crazy mad and married?" he asked into my mouth, I pull back to look at him "Please tell me I'll be crazy mad and married to you." He pulls out of my grasp and sinks down to one knee, most certainly getting the attention of our family now, but either of us paid attention to that, we were in our own little world.

"It's all about you. Always has, always will be. For the rest of my life it's only you. I love you, beyond crazy. Marry me, Y/n." I fall forward into his chest, a sobbing mess and I could hear several family members also in tears. "Is that a yes?" he asked into my neck, "Yes." everyone burst out cheering as I pulled back. He took my hand in his own and placed the ring on my left hand, where the fourth finger meets my knuckle. I could see his eyes were also swimming with tears. He took my hand and stood up, pulling me up alongside him "I told you this was the girl I was going to marry," he said to the crowd that was watching us, most of them chuckling. "Well you've been saying that since you were ten, how did we know you were serious?" his mother replied.

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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Dating advice

Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 54k

Status: Complete

Warnings: Relevant warnings will be posted on each part. Drinking, low self esteem, swearing, explicit sexual content (towards the end).

Authors Note: Now complete! Thanks to anyone read this at the time, I hope whoever reads this in the future enjoys :)

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Part six

Part seven

Part eight

Part nine

Part ten

Part eleven

Part twelve

Part thirteen

Part fourteen

Part fifteen

Part sixteen

Part seventeen

Part eighteen

Part nineteen

Part twenty

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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saved [ pt. 2 ]

pairing | jimin x reader (x jungkook) ; rockstar au warnings |18+ Minors DNI; drug abuse, smoking, mentions of self-harm, character death, emotional trauma, toxic relationship

[ PT. 2 ]

“So help me.”

Jungkook’s hands clenched into fists in his lap.

“Help you with...what?”

Jimin leaned back in his chair. “To take care of her,” he lit another cigarette. “Because of my position as leader, I’m always busy and have to travel a lot with our CEO. Especially now with the new album coming out soon, I’m going to have a lot of events I have to attend coming up. So I need someone here to look after her, you know, keep her out of trouble.”

What the hell does that mean?

“So..when you asked me if I would join as the replacement for your old guitarist-”

Jimin nodded, huffing out a puff of smoke. “We don’t particularly need a new guitarist, our sound is fine with just Yoongi. But since I saw how much y/n likes you..and anyways, it could end up being a good thing for the band, since I want Yoongi to focus more on producing, he’s the only one that can help make anything out of my songs,” he sighed.

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut.

“Well? What do you say?”

There were only a few months before the new album was set to release and everybody’s schedule was jam-packed every day.

Jin spent almost every day locked in his studio, listening to Jimin and Yoongi’s demos, playing them over and over again, isolated in his room with cartons of cigarettes and bottles of Wild Turkey. Sometimes late at night, Jungkook would hear the low notes coming from his bass guitar, and would sit outside his studio to listen. The inspiration seemed to really hit Jin at night, because he would riff endlessly over the demo playing over the monitors, and he was damn good at it too.

Yoongi spent most of his days locked in his studio as well. Jungkook would come downstairs to find him poring over pages of lyrics, some of them full compositions, some just random ideas on sticky notes, trying to piece them together. He recalled Jimin saying that Yoongi was the only one that could make anything out of his songs. He supposed those notes must’ve been Jimin’s.

Jungkook didn’t really participate in the writing process. Though, it was more like they didn’t need him too, just like Jimin said. It was all very methodical. A few days before a song was to be recorded, Yoongi would approach Jungkook with some sheet music and a demo. Jungkook would be instructed to practice his parts, and then record them in the studio with Yoongi a few days later. Most times, he never even got to listen to the completed mix.

And as for Jimin; it was true that he was incredibly busy. In the last few months, Jungkook could probably count on one hand the number of times Jimin was actually at the house. And when he was, he spent all of his time in the studio, recording his parts on the drums, listening to mixes with Yoongi, writing more songs.

He was mostly gone, sometimes for weeks at a time, sometimes abroad. He traveled a lot with the label’s CEO, attending various publicity events, managing showcase schedules at venues, helping the CEO scope out bands that could open for Bulletproof on the next tour.

“That’s his duty as our leader, and I have a great deal of respect for him,” Yoongi replied flatly early one morning over coffee when Jungkook asked about Jimin being away so often. “The guy loves music, he loves it so much, he’s willing to give up being close to it so that he can do all the administrative shit none of us have the patience to manage. He’s out there attending events all by himself so we can focus here on the album. That’s a good thing.”

Jungkook thought about what else Jimin was giving up.

And as for you; Jungkook kept his promise to Jimin. He looked after you.

Every day, Jungkook could expect to see you downstairs in the kitchen, showered, and sipping your first cup of coffee at around 10am, which was a respectable hour to wake up considering Yoongi normally didn’t come down until noon, and Jin sometimes 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

You’d have breakfast together, laughing and smiling, cheeky and flirtatious as you always were, smearing pancake mix on his cheeks as the two of you made breakfast. You’d sit down at the breakfast nook together, have coffee, and review notes for the recordings of the day.

You never wrote any lyrics or compositions for the band, though Jungkook knew you kept a secret notebook and a 4-track recorder in your room. But he knew you were a vocal genius by the way you’d listen to a demo once, jump into the booth, and absolutely slay a track. Your voice was delicate and haunting when it needed to be, gruff and strong for other songs, and you didn’t mind being in the booth for hours and hours until Jimin and Yoongi finally got the ad libs they wanted.

Because both of you woke up and got your work done early, you’d spend almost every afternoon together. Playing chess in the drawing room over afternoon tea with scones, hanging out in the courtyard while Jungkook watched you pick flowers for a bouquet for the kitchen. When it rained, the two of you would cozy up by the fireplace in the mansion’s library, and you would lay your head on his lap and read Baudelaire out loud. Most days were like this.

Most days.

Maybe it was because Jungkook spent every day with you, and started getting to know you so well, that little cracks began appearing in your perfect facade. Sometimes it was the silhouette of you, hunched over your bathroom sink, head in your hands, crying in the early morning hours. Sometimes it was the light that seeped through the crack in your bedroom door late at night when Jungkook would walk past it to his room, and see you sitting by the telephone on the nightstand, waiting.

Jimin almost never called while he was away. And as much as you smiled and laughed with him, and insisted you knew that Jimin was so busy, he’s doing everything for the band, echoing Yoongi’s words almost verbatim; he knew you wished Jimin was here. But you never said a thing. And when the morning came, you always put on fresh clothes, a smile on your face, and stood in the recording booth like a good soldier.

And Jungkook hated it.

He hated it with every fiber of his being. The way you smile; every time you smiled it was a shot straight through his heart, because he could feel the pain behind it. The way you would tick-tock your head side to side, massaging your shoulders after hours in the booth without a break but still continued singing, even though Jungkook could see how tired and worn out you were. Late at night, when he’d walk past your room, and see you waiting by the telephone, his heart would clench in his chest; he knew how lonely you were.

But despite your isolation, Jungkook could honestly report to Jimin in his weekly email (which Jimin insisted Jungkook send each week on Saturday while he was away, and if Jungkook failed to do so within the expected hour, Jimin would bombard his phone with calls until he answered) that you were healthy, completing your daily recordings, and that he had not seen you take any drugs.

Maybe it was because Jungkook was with you. Maybe it made you feel a little bit less lonely. At least, that’s what Jungkook hoped for.

On a warm afternoon in March, Jungkook sat with Jin and Yoongi at the dining table having lunch, and he watched you outside on the porch, an acoustic guitar in your hands, strumming a tune.

“What happened to your other guitarist? The one before me?” Jungkook asked. “He left and made a solo debut right? Under the name V?”

He saw Jin’s eyes suddenly dart to Yoongi, who said nothing, and just stared down at the half-empty mug of black coffee on the table in front of him.

A few uncomfortable moments of silence later, and seeing that Jungkook clearly wasn’t just going to let this go, Jin blurted out, “Look the guy was an asshole, ok!”

Yoongi sighed, lighting a cigarette, “Jin-”

“No, he was!” Jin threw his hands up. “He kept going on and on about how we needed to change and evolve our sound, he wanted to mess around with new shit, coming to us with songs and wanting to hire a choir or a fucking orchestra accompaniment. I’m rock and roll, we don’t need any fucking orchestra on our tracks.”

Yoongi took a long drag of his cigarette, followed by a sip of his coffee.

“And anyway, he kept trying to get y/n to sing these songs he’d written, they were all emo and shit. And y/n, being as nice as she is, finally agreed and she helped him record a demo of a song he wrote. And when Jimin heard it, shit fucking blew up. He threw the monitors through the window! Completely shattered the glass to the booth in our old studio.”

“Jin-”

“We tried to calm them down, but of course Taehyung, being the hot head that he is, had to keep escalating shit. Talking about how Jimin’s a manipulative bastard, how he says he does shit for the band but it’s all a lie and he was letting our music go down the drain. How it was becoming generic, accusing us of just playing songs to get on the radio and make money,” Jin was practically jumping out of his seat at this point. “The whole fucking thing ended with Jimin shoving Taehyung over a table and told him to get the fuck out. And he did. And poor y/n, she was so distraught over the whole thing, she had a panic attack. She thinks it’s her fault-”

“JIN!”

Jungkook stared wide-eyed at Yoongi, who never raised his voice.

Jin was clearly also taken aback by this coming from Yoongi, because he sat back down in his seat. “Sorry, man,” he quieted down. “I just, I still get fucking angry over that shit when I remember it sometimes. It’s a goddamn shame, cus he was a damn good guitarist too.”

Yoongi smudged out his cigarette in the almost-full ashtray on the table.

“It’s not uncommon for members to come and leave bands over creative differences,” Yoongi said quietly. His eyes lifted and met Jungkook’s. “Don’t read more into it than that.”

You mean because creative differences were so clearly not the reason he left the band?

You mean because he was forced out for trying to get y/n to sing a song written by someone other than Jimin?

Jungkook took a purposeful breath in. There was a loud ringing growing in his ears.

I told her to only sing songs that I wrote for her.

The facade continued to crumble.

“Woahhh, JK this song is so beautiful!”

Jungkook felt his eyes widen as he looked at you, excitedly sitting on your heels, your eyes wide and glowing, listening to a demo he’d recorded. It was a song he’d written. It was meant for you.

“I’m not usually one for ballads, but this is some pretty fucking romantic shit. So romantic it’s actually pretty fucking metal,” Jin gushed, leaning back on the couch in the group recording studio. “Hey, Yoongi, what do you think? We definitely still have room for some more b-sides right?”

Yoongi sat in the producer’s chair, quietly listening to the final notes of the demo. Everyone watched him quietly, intently, awaiting his reaction.

“It’s true, we don’t do ballads,” Yoongi turned in his seat to face the group. “But I think Jin’s right, if y/n sang this, and we put some heavy, heavy guitars to it, and I’m thinking a bass solo... Although, this song is probably wasted as a b-side..”

Jin shot up in his seat. “Oh shit, man, are you thinking for our new title track? Fuck, I hadn’t even thought of that, but you’re right. I mean, we’re talking fucking Guns N’ Roses November Rain shit right here, we’re talking Skid Row’s I Remember You. This is gonna destroy. Yo, JK, can I grab this demo? I need to go work on some riffs, why the hell didn’t you show us this sooner!”

Jungkook nodded, heart pounding in his chest. Everything was moving so fast. But he felt you take his hands in yours and turned to see you smiling at him.

“What’s the song called, Jungkook?”

“Decalcomania..”

Your smile grew. “I love it.”

At that moment I didn’t want to think about consequences. It was a hideous thing, dark and spiny, tugging at the back of my brain. It told me ‘don’t do this, you shouldn’t have done this.’ But I ignored it. I pushed it way, way far back. I didn’t care. Because y/n smiled. It was the first time I’d seen her smile. I mean really smile. I thought I’d cured her of her sadness. My song did. Looking back, I know now that was my ego talking. Because if I’d really cared for her, and not just for my own pride, because I wanted to beat Jimin, I wanted him to see that if given the chance, she could be happy without him...then I would’ve anticipated what came next, and not played them the song at all..

Everyone stood in silence, awkwardly still clutching their instruments long after the song ended. All eyes fixed on Jimin, who sat on a leather sofa before the group recording area, his arms resting on the sides, his expression unreadable.

Jungkook turned to see Jin shoot Yoongi a nervous glance. He looked over at you, your eyes were focused intently on Jimin. They looked...hopeful.

“So anyways, Jimin,” Jin broke the silence. “It’s pretty fucking sick, right? I mean with that solo from Yoongi? It’s gonna destroy, man, we all think so.” He nodded his head at Yoongi, a plead for him to back him up.

Jungkook saw you avert your eyes.

“We’ve been talking, Jimin,” Yoongi set his guitar down gently. “This could be the next November Rain. We’ve never put out a ballad before, and with how heavy the instrumental is, it’s gonna blow people away, and-”

“So this is what you’ve all been doing while I was gone?”

The room froze.

Jungkook saw your hands fall from the mic stand.

Jimin stood, lighting a cigarette. “Whose song is it?”

Jungkook’s eyes darted to Yoongi and Jin, then to you, your head dropped.

“Well..we kinda all worked on it together-” Jin began.

“Whose fucking song is it?”

“It’s mine, I wrote it.” Jungkook declared, setting his guitar down and stepping forward.

Jimin scoffed, “You little shit-”

Jin stepped in front of Jungkook on instinct, putting an arm out in front of his chest to block him.

“Back off, this is between me and him,” Jimin spat, crushing the lit cigarette in his palm and tossing it onto the floor.

“Jimin,” Yoongi stepped forward, setting his hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “We’ve already decided as a group that this should be our new title track. P-Dogg’s listened to it, and he thinks it’s going to be an instant hit, like hall of fame level. He’s actually the one that worked out the arrangement for this song.”

Jungkook watched Jimin’s hands clench into fists at his sides, his chest beginning to heave.

“I know after hearing it, even you can’t deny that it’s a great piece of composition. We all decided already, so just leave it, ok?”

Jimin slapped Yoongi’s hand away.

“You all decided?” he scoffed. “This is my band, this is not a fucking democracy.”

“Jimin, don’t do this again-”

Jimin shoved Yoongi back, and Jin took a few steps towards Jimin, his hand wound back behind him.

“What the fuck are you gonna do, huh?” Jimin spat.

Jin stopped, dropping his fist.

“You’re all gonna just sit here and let some fucking rookie roll up and get a fucking title track on our album?? You’re all just okay with giving him all the royalties, huh?! He’s a fucking ROOKIE. He wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for me, and you,” he stepped forwards Jungkook, shoving a finger into his chest. “You had one fucking job to do and it was not to write songs for y/n.”

“Stop it!”

Everyone froze at the sound of your voice.

“Just stop it..”

Jungkook held his breath, his heart pounding in his ears as he watched you slowly move towards Jimin.

No, don’t get too close..don’t get too close, he’s too volatile right now...

The ringing grew louder in his ears when he saw you take Jimin’s hand in yours, and looked up at him with watery eyes and pleaded, “Jimin..it’s just one song..can’t you let us have just one song?”

He watched Jimin’s eyes grow wide.

“You want to sing this?”

Jungkook saw Jimin’s jaw tighten. He watched you lower your head in the tiniest nod.

“Decalcomania is a beautiful so-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THE NAME OF THE FUCKING SONG.” Jimin ripped his hand from your grasp, his chest heaving. “Do whatever the fuck you want.”

“No, Jimin, wait, come on man-” Jin chased after him as Jimin turned and walk out of the room, swatting Jin’s hands away.

In his periphery, Jungkook saw you, frozen, shaking, your hands still out where they were holding Jimin’s, a tear falling down your cheek.

y/n…

You dropped to your knees, eyes wide, gasping.

Jungkook saw Yoongi dive towards you, taking you in his arms, squeezing you tightly. “No, no, y/n it’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe, ok? Breathe, nice and easy, it’s ok..”

He watched your body shake violently in Yoongi’s arms, you were panting, your chest rising and falling unevenly, gasping for air.

“Jin!” Yoongi shouted and Jin turned, his eyes growing wide. “Get a paper bag!” But Yoongi didn’t need to say this last, because Jin had already turned and was running towards the kitchen to get one.

“What’s...what’s happening to her?” Jungkook asked shakily.

“She’s having a panic attack,” Yoongi rubbed his hand on your back. “This is just like before, goddammit, that fucking stubborn bastard-”

That stubborn bastard? Is that all you can say about him?

Jin ran back, out of breath and pushing past Jungkook, falling to the floor beside you and holding an opened paper bag to your face.

“Just breathe, it’s okay, breathe..” they both said in unison.

“Better get Namjoon, go find him quickly, tell him to call the physician,” Yoongi instructed and Jin quickly nodded before he shot up and ran out of the room again.

Fuck this shit.

Jungkook turned, running out of the room. He still heard your gasping breaths and the crinckling of the paper bag compressing and expanding, echoing down the hall. He raced down the hallway, to the foyer, blowing through the front door and-

There he was. Jimin, getting into his car that one of the assistant managers pulled up to the gravel lot for him.

“YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!” Jungkook screamed, sprinting, lunging at Jimin, his fist landing in a loud CLACK across his jaw.

Jimin fell back against the side of the car. “What the fuck, you little-”

Jungkook grabbed the collar of his jacket, throwing him against the windows.

“Y/n’s in there having a fucking panic attack, she’s hurting, do you not fucking understand?? You did this! You did this to her!”

Jimin looked away but before he did, Jungkook could’ve sworn he saw something flash past Jimin’s eyes, even if for a split second. But it faded quickly, his expression turned cold.

“And?”

Jungkook froze, hands shaking, his grip tightening around the material of Jimin’s jacket.

“AND??! GET BACK IN THERE AND TAKE CARE OF THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE!”

Jimin sighed, shrugging Jungkook’s hands off of him, adjusting his coat.

“Isn’t that your job?”

He opened the door to the driver’s side and got in, turning the ignition. The engine roared to life, and Jungkook stood in the cloud of dust as he watched Jimin’s car speed off down the road.

Consequences…

This is one of those pivotal moments I always catch my mind drifting back to. At the time, though I was angry beyond what you can imagine, I was glad. I actually thought, ‘Good riddance. She doesn’t need you. I’ll take care of her. We’ll take care of her. She doesn’t need you.’

Consequences…

Come to think of it, everything really started to completely fall apart after that.

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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saved [ intro + pt. 1]

pairing | jimin x reader (x jungkook) ; rockstar au warnings |18+ Minors DNI; drug abuse, smoking, mentions of self-harm, character death, explicit sex, emotional trauma, toxic relationship

[ INTRO. ]

What would you have done differently?

That’s a question I got asked a lot in the aftermath. And believe me, I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve thought about it from every angle, from every direction. I thought about the whole fucking thing, linearly, start to end. I thought about it at random times, about the pivotal moments, they only seemed arbitrary at the time, like they would have no impact. But they fucking did. Why couldn’t I see it at the time?

But truthfully, there was nothing I could’ve done.

There was only one person that could’ve saved her.

But what do you do when the one person who could’ve saved her, needed saving himself?

I was only 23 at the time, and I thought I knew everything about the world. I thought I knew what love was: something that would ruin you if you get too close. I thought I knew her, I thought I knew him.

I can say now that I actually knew nothing. Not a single fucking thing. About the world, or about them. Them..always caught in their own universe, the way they’d laugh and sing together like nothing, no one else in the world existed. There was a time when I was driven mad by jealousy at the way they were. But I can understand now, or at least I think I do. Theirs was the kind of love that would not break, even in death. And theirs was the kind of love that could only bring pain.

I spent one year with Bulletproof. In that one year, I learned love, heartbreak, and loss, but most importantly the meaning of intent, and action, and consequences. Consequences...

There are memoirs being written about her already. They describe her and Jimin’s love like a greek tragedy, like some Shakespearean play. When I read them I want to grab the collar of the person who wrote it, throw them across their desk, smash their printer through their window, and rip apart every fucking word they dared to put on paper about her. How dare they sensationalize her story? How dare they reduce her life to mere words.

It’s the morning of the 12th of October. The day before Jimin’s birthday. The day of the anniversary of her passing. Yoongi will be here soon to pick me up.

No one will ever read this. Sometimes I feel stupid for writing this at all. But my friends say it’ll help. Writing shit down. It’s supposed to help. Well, I’m still waiting for the help part to happen.

- JK, 10/12

“Shit-”

Yoongi cursed under his breath, the cigarette situated between his lips almost fell out as he hissed, turning the steering wheel, screeching the car to a stop on the side of the road.

Jungkook turned and looked out the window at the thing that caught Yoongi’s attention.

“Shit,” he muttered too.

Both of them quickly shuffled out of the car, Jungkook running up the hill, fallen leaves and dried grass crunching underneath his boots and Yoongi followed behind him slowly.

“I wonder how long he’s been here,” Jungkook sighed, coming to a stop.

“Well, he smells like shit so I’d guess a few days,” Yoongi snuffed out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot, tucking it behind his ear for later.

“Jimin-hyung, wake up..” Jungkook crouched down, tugging at Jimin’s shoulder to turn him over.

He’d been lying face down in the grass, one hand clasped around the neck of a half-empty bottle of scotch. He was in a pair of dirty jeans and a flannel shirt that was covered in leaves and mud and stains, his hair was long and greasy. Jungkook tried not to be affected, but had to cover his nose because of the acrid smell of vomit nearby. He wondered how many times Jimin threw up, glancing around at the other empty bottles of liquor strewn about.

“Put him in the car, I’ll clean this up,” Yoongi sighed, bending down to grab the bottle from Jimin’s hands. He pulled out his phone and dialed for the groundskeeper. “I’m so sorry, man-”

“It’s alright, Mr. Min. It’s October 12th, I understand. We have to work together to look after him this time of year,” Jungkook heard the groundskeeper say on the phone.

Yoongi thanked him, and Jungkook hooked one of Jimin’s arms around his neck, pulling him up. Jimin groaned, which was a good sign because that meant he was coming to.

“Will you bring the flowers back up after you put him in the car?” Yoongi called after Jungkook, who turned his head and nodded in response.

“No, no, where are you taking me, get your fucking hands off me,” Jimin muttered incoherently, throwing ineffective fists at Jungkook as he tried to set him down in the backseat of Yoongi’s car, his limp body falling back onto the seat. “It’s my fucking birthday tomorrow, she said she’s gonna be here..she called me, she said she’ll be here...”

Jungkook’s jaw clenched, trying his best to ignore Jimin, pulling at his legs to swing them into the car.

“She said she was gonna be here, she’s a fucking liar!” Jimin screamed, his body shriveling up into a fetal position on the backseat, burying his head in his hands. Jungkook felt his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his cheeks grew hot, liquid building up at the corners of his eyes.

He shook his head, closing the door of the car gently as Jimin continued muttering something, drooling into the fabric of the seat. Turning, he saw a black Mercedes pull up. The doors opened, Jin and his wife stepped out, both wearing black.

“Hey man,” Jin caught Jungkook’s hand and pulled him into a hug. His wife handed Jin the large bouquet in her hands and gave Jungkook a hug too.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?”

“I’m alright, noona,” Jungkook answered quietly.

She nodded and they both glanced at the backseat of Yoongi’s car.

“Every fucking year,” Jin sighed, shaking his head. “I wish he’d get his shit together.”

“Seokjin!” his wife chastised. “Don’t be insensitive.”

“You think y/n would want him to live like this??” he scoffed, slipping a cigarette between his lips and turning to head up the hill towards Yoongi.

She sighed. “He doesn’t mean to be so hurtful, it’s just...he’s always angry, every year too when this comes around...he doesn’t like to show how much it affects him too..”

“I know, noona,” Jungkook whispered. Turning around to the passenger seat of Yoongi’s car, he picked up a bouquet of white lilies. Jin’s wife smiled, linking arms with him and headed up the hill to join the others.

Yoongi was talking with the groundskeeper, who had hosed away the puddles of dried vomit and was now shoveling new mulch and peat moss over the dead patches of grass. Jin stood, quietly looking at the headstone; at your name, the inscribed dates, a crude frame of your life. And under that, the one who always had love in her heart for everyone.

Yoongi took the bouquet from Jungkook and took a seat on the ground, setting the bouquet down, placing a hand on the cold stone plaque.

“I found this rare recording of Hole at the CBGB’s in New York from 1986 at this super random record shop the other day,” Yoongi took a deep breath in. “When I got home I popped it onto the turntable and I actually took out my phone to call you cus I knew you’d kill me if I listened to it without you.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth, a tear falling down his cheek against his will. He heard Jin stifle a sob from beside him.

“I miss you y/n..” Jungkook heard a hitch in Yoongi’s voice. Another tear fell. He squeezed his eyes shut, tilting his head to the sky as though gravity were the culprit, pulling his tears down against his will.

“I miss you so fucking much..” Yoongi’s head fell over, his hand reaching up to cover his eyes, letting out a ragged breath.

Jungkook thought about how he never sees Yoongi cry. Yoongi never cries. Never, except once a year.

[ PT. 1 ]

“Now they only have a few minutes before they have to go onstage, so please be brief.”

Jungkook nodded, his heart pounding in his chest, adrenaline coursing as he followed behind Namjoon the manager through a crowded hallway that led backstage. He was flustered, the pit of his stomach churning with excitement and he kept bumping shoulders against the people lining the halls, apologizing profusely while Namjoon somehow managed to avoid running into anyone.

“Alright, here, go on in, remember you only have a few minutes.”

“Oh, well I-” Jungkook couldn’t finish his sentence, and was shoved through an open door.

The room was tiny, with an old, faded blue velvet couch pushed against one wall. There was an old coffee table in the middle of the room, and the floor was littered with half empty bottles of beer, red plastic cups, cigarette butts, and guitar picks. The air was thick with the smell of liquor and tobacco smoke, Motley Crue’s Live Wire was blasting from the speakers on the opposite side of the room.

Jungkook stood awkwardly in front of the door that closed behind him, his shoulders tensed up around his ears, and was suddenly super self conscious about his outfit choice: tight, faded jeans, with the knees blown out, a leopard print shirt, and a destroyed denim jacket over it. His heart pounded in his chest, feeling the strap of the guitar on his shoulder slowly sliding, his new eyebrow piercing starting to itch as blood rushed to his face. He wondered if he shouldn’t have gotten it done yesterday, maybe it was too soon. Everyone was going to see that it was still a little bit swollen, and would judge him and think he’s trying too hard.

He gulped, looking around. He knew all of your names. He’d been a fan for almost a year now, and had followed you guys around to three cities on your tour.

Jin, the bassist, stood in front of a dirty mirror on the wall, adjusting his tie, practicing a wink, bobbing his head to the beat of the song banging through the speakers.

Yoongi, the guitarist, was seated quietly on the sofa with a pair of headphones on, tuning the guitar on his lap. Beside him was Jimin, the drummer, who was leaned back languidly, his arms thrown over the back of the couch, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips.

And you.

“Seokjin, please I am begging you do not do your fucking flying kiss shit tonight, I am BEGGING you.”

Jungkook felt his heart skip hearing your voice.

“Fuck you, the ladies love it,” Jin spat back, eyes glued to his reflection.

“Yoongi, please make him stop,” you groaned, plopping down on the sofa between him and Jimin, your hands pressing the edge of your plaid skirt against the velvet fabric.

“Not getting involved,” Yoongi shook his head, lighting a cigarette.

You rolled your eyes, and caught Jungkook in the periphery. He gulped, Motley Crue slammed into Black Sabbath’s Children of the Grave over the speakers.

“You came!”

Jungkook thought his heart must’ve stopped when you jumped to your feet, and ran over to him, throwing your arms around his neck.

“I’m so glad you made it!” he felt your lips on his cheek, soft and warm.

“Yeah..uh..thank you guys for inviting me, again,” he replied nervously, raising an unsure hand and waving at the guys around the room.

Yoongi gave him a small nod.

“Hey man, glad you’re here,” Jimin walked up, catching his hand in a shake, which caused Jungkook’s heart to skip again.

Jin didn’t acknowledge him. But Jungkook saw you rolled your eyes at this.

“Don’t worry, Narcissus over there will soon get what’s coming to him.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh at this.

The door swung open and Namjoon poked his head through.

“Let’s go guys, it’s time.”

“FUCK YEAH, I’m so fucking ready,” Jin spat, picking up his bass guitar that was leaned against the wall.

Yoongi quietly swung the strap of his instrument over his shoulder and gave Jungkook another nod as he ducked past him.

“Enjoy the show man, we’ll see you after,” Jimin gave a light tap on the side of his arm before walking out.

“Come on,” you smiled, taking him by the hand and leading him out into the hallway.

“Alright, here’s where we leave you. Make sure to get yourself a spot at the very front so you can get a good view of us,” you smiled up at him, planting another peck on his cheek. “Oh, and one more thing,” you turned at the black curtains by the edge of the stage before walking out. “Be sure to listen closely, we expect you to be able to jump right in once we get you in the studio with us next week.”

You winked and walked out to deafening screams and Jungkook stood, stunned, feeling like he’d had the wind knocked out of him for five whole minutes.

“That was so fucking sick!”

Jungkook bunched his shoulders together, nervously following you through the crowded entryway of the mansion the band was renting while working on the new album.

He took the drink you handed him and you clinked your plastic cup against his, “Wasn’t it so fucking sick tonight?” you yelled into his ear over the heavy bass of the song slamming through the speakers.

“Yeah, you guys were amazing!” he yelled back, glancing around nervously. “Do you guys always throw a party like this after a show?”

You laughed. “We used to, but then we stopped cus shit would get super out of hand once we got more big. But I guess people got so used to us doing this that they just kept showing up even if we didn’t plan on having a party!” you took a long sip of your drink.

He nodded quietly.

“Hey!” you placed your hand on the side of his arm, giving him a little squeeze. “Try to have some fun tonight! You look all timid and tense, you shouldn’t! You’re gonna be the new lead guitarist for Bulletproof! You’re gonna fucking kill it!”

Jungkook smiled at this, letting out a quiet sigh, feeling some pressure relieve, while more pressure built up.

“Alright, I gotta go say hi to some people, go! Have fun!”

He waved as you receded through the crowds of people.

He watched you guys quietly throughout the evening. Jin, seated on a large leather sofa in the living room, surrounded by girls on either side, all tugging and pulling at his hair, at his tie, a great wide grin spread across his face, a cigarette between his teeth.

At Yoongi, who sat quietly at the breakfast nook in the kitchen, a scotch on ice in a highball glass in his hand, conversing with one of Bulletproof’s producers.

At you, bouncing from crowd to crowd. You’d just started a conversation with one group when someone would emerge out of nowhere and pull you into another. You smiled big, greeting everybody and hugging everybody, tossing your head back in laughter, posing for endless photos.

Jungkook knew. As much as he wanted some alone time with you. As much as he wanted to be seated in a quiet room with you, so he could show you his music, so he could listen to you sing the melodies he’d written, just for you...he couldn’t. Because of everyone else. Everybody loved you. Everybody wanted a piece of you.

Jungkook had taken a seat in the drawing room, on a sofa across from where Jimin sat, a cute blonde girl in his lap, with her arms clasped tightly around his neck, who kept whispering things into his ear. Jimin listened, smiling. Jungkook watched them for a while and couldn’t tell for the life of him if Jimin was being genuine to this girl, or if he just found her amusing. He decided it was probably the latter.

The evening drew on, and Jungkook had just politely refused the group of guys and girls that crowded the coffee table in front of him, one of them chopping rails with a credit card on the back of a magazine. Nirvana’s Come As You Are was cranking through the speakers and Jungkook was about to get up to get another drink when he saw you turning the corner into the room, finding Jimin on the sofa. You looked somewhat different, your face looked a little sunken in, makeup a bit smudged around your eyes. You must be tired, he thought.

He watched with wide eyes as the cute blonde girl threw her arms up at your entrance and you leaned down and planted a long kiss on her lips. His eyes darted to Jimin, whose expression didn’t change a bit.

“y/n, you were so fucking amazing tonight!” the girl shrieked when you pulled away.

“Thank you, Mira, sweetie,” you gave her nose a little boop. You turned to Jimin, and ran a hand through his hair.

“You heading up already?” he asked, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze.

You nodded, “I’m beat. Have a good night you guys.”

You turned to leave, and Jungkook watched your arm linger for a moment behind you, Jimin’s hand reluctantly letting yours go. He thought this was his chance.

Quietly, he followed behind you as you made your way back through the kitchen, giving Yoongi a back hug and a kiss on the cheek, bidding him goodnight. Through the living room, where you found Jin, two girls on his lap, one was trying to get her tongue as far down his throat as possible, the other was busy leaving hickies on his neck. You’d only scoffed, and turned to head upstairs.

Jungkook had pulled his notebook from his guitar bag by the door, and clutched it tightly to his chest as he followed silently behind you up three flights of stairs. He was ducked behind a wall, and saw you disappear into a room at the end of a long hallway. Hole’s Celebrity Skin began playing, muted through the thick marble walls from downstairs. His hand gripped around the spine of his notebook and he approached the opened door to your darkened room nervously, and was about to knock when he saw you flip on the bathroom light and leaned forward, your hands on the marble counter, your head hanging.

He moved through the open door, a question about your welfare catching in his throat when he saw you pull out a tin of altoids from the little pocket on the back of your skirt.

Jungkook’s brows furrowed, focusing in on the little metal box in your hands, and his eyes grew wide at the realization that it did not hold breath mints.

He watched you dump its contents onto the marble vanity; little blue, yellow, and white pills. He watched you pick out the little yellow colored ones, tossing one into your mouth and swallowing it with a glob of spit. You crowded a few others together on the countertop, and using the bottom of a glass that held a toothbrush, crushed and ground them into a powder.

He stood, frozen, watching as you bent down, one finger holding on nostril shut and, one snort, two snorts. You stood, rubbing at your nose, sniffling. Jungkook felt his fist clench at his side, his other hand gripped so tightly around his notebook he was leaving a dent in the binding. He could see your reflection in the mirror, your pupils blown out so wide your eyes looked like black holes in their sockets.

“y/n?”

Jungkook heard Jimin’s voice calling from outside in the hall. Panicked, not wanting to be caught here, he knew he shouldn’t be here, he saw the closet door at the adjacent wall, slightly ajar and ducked into it.

“y/n?” Through the crack in the door, he saw Jimin enter the room.

He heard the door shut behind Jimin, the latch of the lock clicking. He walked into the bathroom, and Jungkook shuffled quietly to one end of the closet, peering through the crack between the door and the wall.

He watched Jimin move up behind you, his arms reaching down and wrapping around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck. Jungkook found himself holding his breath again in an attempt to quell his heart that was pounding in his chest.

“You sang beautifully tonight,” he heard Jimin whisper into your skin. You’d slid a cigarette between your teeth, lighting it and taking a drag.

“Really?”

“Really.”

The little crack was enough for Jungkook to see you turn to face Jimin, lace your arms up around his neck and lean up into him. Your lips met his, and Jimin greeted you eagerly, his fingers gripped tightly into your waist, lifting you and setting you down on the counter with ease.

Your kisses were hurried, hungry, and Jimin indulged you, giving himself to you, letting you be consumed with him.

“Do you still want me tonight?” Jimin asked through gasped breaths.

You pulled him close, your lips on his neck. “I always want you,” you whispered.

Jungkook felt a huge lump forming in his throat, his mouth dry, his eyes stinging from staring. He wanted to swallow, but feared making any sound and being discovered. He’d hoped Jimin would close the bathroom door behind him so he could sneak back out, but it was clear now there was no easy way out. He watched through the crack in the door as Jimin pulled your tank top over your head, his hand reaching behind you and unclasping your bra with ease. He watched Jimin pull you close, his mouth covering yours, and he reached out, pushing the pills on the countertop away.

“Fuck me in the shower,” he heard you whisper in Jimin’s ear. Jimin tugged roughly at your hips, pulling you into the shower, one hand unzipping your skirt and pulling it down, the other reaching for the silver knob on the wall. Water poured down over your bodies and hurried hands tugged and pulled at the rest of the clothes that the two of you still had on.

Steam rose and Jungkook watched Jimin pin you against the marble tiles, turning your head to face him to kiss you, to catch your moans on his tongue. Jimin ground his hips into you from behind, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist, the other across your chest, holding you flush against him. Jungkook swallowed thickly, his breath hitching when he saw Jimin’s hand travel up and close around your throat and you let your head back against his shoulder. The rhythm of your moans was becoming uneven, and Jimin’s hand closed tighter but quickly moved over your opened mouth to cover a scream, and both your bodies fell languid against the tiles.

Jimin held you up, squeezing soap onto your body and his, letting the hot water wash over both of you, his hands gently brushing across your skin. He’d turned the water off, bringing you out of the shower and dried your body and hair with a towel before carrying you back into the room. He’d picked you up, and laid you gently onto the bed and you fell back limply. He pulled the covers over your body, taking a seat by your side and pressed soft kisses on your forehead.

“Are you ok?” he asked in a whisper. You nodded, and he smiled. “Sleep well, love.”

Jungkook was holding his breath, his entire body tensed and still and beginning to cramp. He watched Jimin sit like that beside you for a few quiet moments, watching as you drifted off to sleep.

“You can come out now.”

Jungkook’s heart jumped, his legs frozen beneath him. Shit.

He saw Jimin stand, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the nightstand, lighting one. He turned and moved towards the closet. Jungkook stepped backward on instinct, but tripped on something below his feet, falling, and taking down a pile of clothes with him, their hangers clattering around him, one of his boots kicking the closet door open in the process.

“Ow..” he swiped at the top of his head where a shoebox landed a second ago. He looked up to find Jimin standing over him, naked, a stream of smoke streaming from the corners of his mouth.

Jimin sighed, and reached behind Jungkook, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and slid his legs into them. He then held a hand out, which Jungkook took, and helped him to stand. Without a word, he moved over to the little table beside the bedroom’s balcony door and took a seat at one of the chairs. Jungkook stood, dumbfounded, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, his cheeks growing hot.

“Sit.” Jimin beckoned at the chair beside him.

Unable to do anything else, Jungkook made his way over, taking a seat in the empty chair. A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed, the only sound was the quiet thumping of music from downstairs, and the light crackling of the end of Jimin’s cigarette burning to ash when he took a drag.

“H-How did you know I was in there?” Jungkook finally asked.

“I saw you follow her up here,” smoke poured out from Jimin’s nostrils as he responded. “I didn’t see you anywhere in the hall, I figured you must’ve hid in here when I came in.”

Jungkook pondered this response for a moment, his brows furrowing at a realization. Did he..do this on purpose? Knowing I was here? Knowing I’d be watching?

He was about to ask when Jimin stood, and made his way into the bathroom. Jungkook watched as he stood in front of the vanity, sighing as he looked down at the pills and the smeared little pile of powder. He reached a hand out, swiping everything into his palm and walked over to the toilet. He tilted his hand, dumping everything into the water, and flushed it all away.

“I know you’ve been watching her all night,” he continued, moving back and taking a seat beside Jungkook again. “Did you see who gave her the pills?”

An image of you from earlier flashed through Jungkook’s mind: your darkened gaze, the smeared mascara under your eyes.

“No, I didn’t..” he answered quietly. “Um..I hope it’s okay for me to ask...so, you and y/n..you’re together?” He never knew, and in fact, no one knew. There was never anything on the news, nothing in the gossip blogs, no paparazzi photos. This must be a well-guarded secret. He wondered if the rest of the band knew.

Jimin smiled.

“It’s just-,” Jungkook shook his head a little, embarrassed that he asked the question. You didn’t have to be together to sleep together, he thought to himself. “Sorry, it’s just..you two seem really close..I mean, compared to the other guys.”

Jimin took a long drag. “y/n and I have known each other since we were teenagers,” he said softly. “When we turned 18, we moved in together into this shitty little apartment in the city. It was so small, and there were cockroaches in the kitchen, and we had this one tiny window. She was on her way, she had gotten into a really prestigious music school, she was probably going to be in famous plays and musicals. I was selfish, I guess, and crazy possessive. I told her I loved her, that I needed her with me. I told her that because she loved to sing, that I would write songs for her to sing. I told her to only sing songs that I wrote for her,” he laughed, almost bitterly. Jungkook swallowed, his fingers gripped tightly around the notebook in his lap.

“And she just smiled. She just fucking smiled and told me ‘okay.’ She crushed my heart at that moment. She took my heart, and crushed it, and to this day holds it in the palm of her hand. She could kill me in cold blood and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I’d do anything for her. I love her more than anything in this world.” He took another long drag. “She saved me. I was a complete fucking delinquent in school, I had nothing going for me. Except one day in middle school when she came up to me in the stairwell during lunch and pulled the headphones off my ears and told me, ‘I like Nirvana too.’ When she sang to me for the first time, I thought that’s what angels sound like. She belongs onstage. Everyone loves her. She gave me a future.”

Jungkook looked down at the worn cover of the notebook in his lap. I told her to only sing songs that I wrote for her.

“She really likes you, man.”

Jungkook’s eyes shot back up at Jimin, his cheeks flushing.

Jimin smiled again. “The first night in that cramped little apartment we sat on our mattress on the floor and looked out the window. There was no view, it looked directly at this cracked brick wall of the building next door. That night I told her that I would make it so that one day she could sing on a stage in front of thousands of people, we’d live in a huge mansion, and have crazy parties all the time, and she would be happy.” He leaned forward, smudging out his cigarette on a crystal tray on the table. “We’re playing arenas now. We’re here in this mansion. People line up and beg to party with us. And she’s up here by herself downing percocets.”

Jungkook felt the corners of his lips drop.

“You like her too, don’t you?” He was caught off guard by Jimin’s question. “Don’t you?”

He moved his head in the smallest nod.

“Then help me. I got her sold out arenas, I got her all this glitz and glamour. And I told her she would be happy and I will not be made a fucking liar.”

Jungkook glanced at the toilet in the bathroom, then back at the vanity. At the residuals of the smeared powder on the countertop. He turned and looked at you, your breaths soft in sleep. He thought of your laugh and your smile, how nice and sweet you’d been to him ever since the first time he nervously approached you after a concert, asking if he could play a song for you. How you listened so intently, told him you loved his lyrics and gave him genuine feedback on his composition.

I love her more than anything in this world.

I told her to only sing songs I wrote for her.

I got her sold out arenas.

I got her all this glitz and glamour.

Jungkook felt his jaw clench. I this, I that, that’s a lot of fucking I’s for someone that claims he only lives for her, he thought to himself.

And she’s up here by herself downing percocets.

He gritted his teeth. He wondered if Jimin knew the meaning of the word love. He wondered if Jimin knew you at all.

pt. 2

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

Text

Cut: Plagiarism

UPDATE: YouTube approved the strike and the video is gone.

But guess what? The author is deflecting all blame and is asking their subscribers if they should continue the fic. And, not to mention, they misnamed me and never apologized. They also say I overreacted and never tried to reach out to them. I DM’d them several times and they ignored me. Watch them delete comments again.

Here is the link to the new video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTtBZK7qJAE

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

Text

Cut has been stolen and reposted to Youtube

Hi everyone, I am so upset and disappointed yet again.

“Cut” Is my yandere Taehyung fic and it has been stolen with only a few minor words changed and posted on Youtube. I am absolutely sick to my stomach and I am beyond upset. This is the third time in less than a year where my fics have been stolen from me.

It has been titled “ #1 HIS OBSESSION & POSSESSION || When He Got Dangerously Obsessed With You|| Taehyung FF || “

The poster is also deleting all comments saying the work is stolen.

There are no words that can explain how I am feeling. At best, I am heartbroken and riddled with anxiety. There is something especially violating when something like this happens to you and I just can’t do it anymore. I used to love writing and each time this happens I get the urge to delete all of my works.

I’m tired and I feel so defeated. I want to keep writing but I am getting to the point where I don’t know if I have the strength to continue doing it when I am consistently and blatantly disrespected.

If you could please report the video and help get it taken down that would be so extremely helpful. If you wish to leave comments I request that you do not use profanity and do not attack the poster, just say to report the video and where the story was stolen from.

I’m sorry I have to ask you to help me again, I will be tagging my mutuals for help and leaving the link for the video below so you may report it.

EDIT: I have filed for a take down via copyright infringement, hopefully that is within my rights. The poster has disabled commenting…great.

@chimchimsauce @chaoticpuff17 @chummywchimmy @thereaderstea @darkafterhours13 @darkestcorners @sombreboy

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRUfektp9EU

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

Text

“This whole thing is getting less cute now, smart ass.”

jimin x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.9K

a/n: Hi lovelies! There’s a spider in the shower and reader/Dear leaves Jimin to deal with it- but gently and he can’t kill it. That’s all this fic is lol thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoy :))

Leaving the note on the kitchen island, you knew it was a long shot that your boyfriend would even see it before you returned home from work. Jimin was on a brief break, which meant he spent much of the daylight in bed, his day beginning in the mid-afternoon.

There was a very big part of you that loved coming home to a sleeping Jimin, getting to wake him up and cuddle him into consciousness. You were actually quite surprised when you received a text from him at around 4 p.m. while you were making your way home for the day. Opening it, you found a photo of the note you left for him:

Hi angel! Good morning… no, afternoon? Whatever, hi! We have a little friend in the shower. Tiny. That’s her name, because she’s verrrrryyyy little. Tiny should not be harmed but she does put me slightly on edge so she needs a nice place to live outside. I know she’s taken up residency in the shower because yesterday I saw her in the left corner and today she was in the right corner. She’s an active babe, I must respect her grind. Be gentle with her! She’s my pal, but we need some boundaries. I mean, even Peaches doesn’t crawl into the shower with me, you know? Anyways, good luck and let me know how it goes. I love you!

The photo of the note was accompanied with a text that read: This is unbelievably cute, Dear… did you forget you’re scared of insects? Why not just have me kill it?

Smiling at your phone, you decided to respond in a smart ass way. Jimin should really know better than to set you up like that.

You: I didn’t forget, but Tiny is an arachnid.

Jimin: This whole thing is getting less cute now, smart ass.

Keep reading

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

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-ˋˏ ༻❁ My all time favorite Jungkook stories // Jungkook fic recommendations ❁༺ ˎˊ- II

｡ﾟ･𖥸──────────-ˋˏ✎ ˎˊ-──────────𖥸･｡ﾟ

🖇 Most (all 😬) of them are matured content. I’m a sucker for rated M stories, forgive me 🙇‍♀

🖇 Jungkook x y/n

🖇 And yeah, this is the part II. If you haven’t checked the part I I suggest you to check it first! HERE

🖇 Please support these amazing authors! They deserve all the love and appreciation in this world uwu ^^

🖇 Reblog, Like and Follow for moreeee!

🖇 Please make sure to use hobi water after reading! Enjoy!

｡ﾟ･𖥸──────────-ˋˏ✎ ˎˊ-──────────𖥸･｡ﾟ

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Instant Gratification by @dovechim

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Wanted by @jincherie

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Periapt by @jincherie

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Heat Wave by @iq-biased

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Nice Guys by @kookiesbadhabits

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Starboy by @sugaxjpg

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Cotton Candy by @velocitae

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Hittin’ Her Hay by @hiimbo

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Morning Rush by @atdawnsuga

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Lonely Hearts Club by @joonbird

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ A Dancer’s Hips by @inkjam-moon

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ I hate you, I love you by @jungblue

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ The Devil’s Change Up by @jungblue

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Laundry Day by @jinjikook

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Something in the Water by @vankoya

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Extra Cheese, Please by @vankoya

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Bad For You by @yoonia

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ His Throne by @jiminsa

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Noise by @jjkfire

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Undo by @moonnightyoongi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sweatpants by @namjoonilicious

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Movie Night by @goldenscript

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Ace by @hijoonie

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Hair, Sex and Makeup by @liesfromalover

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Virginity For Sale by @liesfromalover

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Pen Pals by @gukyi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ The Millionaire and His Lover by @gukyi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Moonlight Melody by @gukyi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Prodigy by @kpopsinning

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Complete by @kainks

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Fire and Ice by @army-author

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Quick Release by @causekpop

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Snow and Ice by @hayjeon

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Guys Like Him by @hayjeon

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Cardiovascular Palpitations by @hayjeon

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Set on You by @bymoonchild

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sugarplum Elegy by @bymoonchild

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Spots by @daydream-hobii

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Delivery Boy by @whipped-for-kpop-fics

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Something New by @minlucent

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ That Tuesday Night by @sonnenfuchs

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Hopping Mad For You by @readyplayerhobi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sensory Overload by @softjeon

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Play Pretend by @seokoloqy

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mastur-bait by @1997jk

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Caught Me by @jeongi

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Melomaniac by @jeonscript

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Itch by @ironicarmy

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Blizzard by @curly-bangtan

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Three Words by @bloomsuga

｡ﾟ･𖥸──────────-ˋˏ✎ ˎˊ-──────────𖥸･｡ﾟ

🖇 Posted: October 04, 2020.

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

Text

housewife au part three

in which you get to know a little more about who you're marrying

You expected a big whirlwind wedding, some huge publicized event that would show the world that you are Kim Namioon's wife, a big poufy wedding dress and luxurious reception.

But, instead, it was a rather lame affair. A quick trip to the courthouse, some paperwork, and you were married, hardly exchanging a few words. Namjoon went back to work after a curt goodbye, and you went to his family manor, moving your stuff into a spare room (technically Namjoon's room but he had his own apartment) and getting accustomed to your new life. His mother explained to you that you just needed to be legally recognized in order for you both to reap all the legal benefits. It doesn't matter if anyone knows he's married, just that he has someone to have an heir with and pass down the family legacy to. You held your tongue about how sad that seemed this time and just nodded in understanding.

The first few weeks were awkward. Ypu didn't see Namjoon at all, which was fine, but you had to spend a lot of time with his parents.

Namjoon's mother, you quickly learned, was not as intimidating as she seemed. She was a fiery, sarcastic, witty woman who honestly made conversation engaging and fun. Although, you avoided conversation with her in the beginning, buying yourself with getting used to the layout of the house and making sure that not a thing was out of place. Mrs. Kim told you that you didn't need to clean or cook, a maid came at the end of the week to tidy everything up, and they had a private chef on speed dial. But you noticed that, despite her age, Mrs. Kim was very active, often moving around the house and sometimes even taking walks around the large perimeter of the major of her old joints allowed that much movement. It made you anxious to think about her tripping over something that could be easily cleaned or unable to access something because it was out of place. So you cleaned often, dusting everything down as much you could, tucking things away as soon as they were out of use, and bringing things to her when you noticed she wanted them rather having her get up to get it herself. You even started cooking some meals for them, rather than making them have to call someone and wait for them to cook, you would prepare a meal yourself and bring it to them at a meal times.

And eventually, you couldn't avoid them anymore. Mrs. Kim would seek you out sometimes to talk to you. She would come to you to tell you not to strain yourself with taking care of the house but you could see how much easier she was breathing, and how much more rest she was getting on her joints. After she realized you would likely never stop, she switched gears, summoning you to keep her company when she knew you'd usually be sweeping up or making food.

"Have you ever tried knitting, dear?" She'd ask, telling you to sit down and putting a ball of yarn and two needles in your hands before you could even protest.

Or, she'd say, "I bet you never played this card game before," dealing you some cards and explaining rules you could never understand. You played poker often, and you didn't know why, until Mr. Kim started recovering well enough to sit up and talk and laugh with you as well, and you figured out it was his favorite card game (though he almost always cheated).

Between talks in the library over your favorite literatures and hers, you figured out that she was a very smart, very kind woman, who had a passion for business and the brain for it too. Her and her husband had built themselves up entirely from the ground and wanted to ensure a happy easy life for all their children and grandchildren.

"Which isn't to say I plan on spoiling them," she'd said one day while you were knitting in sync. She was telling you stories about Namjoon when he was younger, the cute antics he'd get up to and the way his dimples would get him out of almost everything. "I think a bit of struggle builds character, but too much roughness will only ruin their souls."

"Children need kindness and discipline." You said, struggling with your row of yarn.

"See! You understand perfectly. I'm honestly so glad I found you, dear. You've been such a massive help around the house. If it were just me and my husband, well, we'd have driven each other crazy by now."

"I doubt it. You two are perfect for each other."

"Sure, but we can still bored of each other. Heaven knows he'd never knit with me." She glanced at her wrist, spotting the time on her watch. "Oh, its almost eight! Can you set up my video call for me, dear? My eyes feel a bit weak today."

"Sure, Mrs. Kim." You said, getting her phone and setting up the video call.

Every night at eight, she would call Namjoon and he would ask her about her day, listening patiently and then tell her about his. You weren't usually in the room when it happened, but you would happen to be near sometimes and the calm, kind tone he would use with his mother warmed your heart. It was clear he loved and respected her and it made you happy.

"There you are, Mrs. Kim." You said as the phone started to ring, heading toward the exit as the call connected.

"Wait, could you fluff my pillow before you go?" She asked and you nodded, moving back over to her chair.

"Hello, eomma," Namjoon greeted as he came up on the call, warm smile already in place as his voice came through the phone.

"Ah, there's my handsome boy, how are you, Joon?" She greeted, the sweet warmth in her tone.

"I'm good, today was nice." He answered, looking into the camera more closely. "Is that Y/n?" He asked, spotting you in the background.

"Yes it is! She's just fluffing my pillow for me, Namjoon, she is such a darling! She's incredibly sweet and she s been keeping me such good company!" His mother praised, and you ducked your head a little, bashful.

"Is that so?" He hummed.

"She even goes on my morning walks with me, she says she worries about me when I'm outside." His mother chuckled.

Namjoon chuckled as well, commenting, "That's very sweet of her."

"Why are you talking about her like she's not right here?" His mother scolded. "Why don't you say hi? Here Y/n, say hi to your husband!" She handed the phone to you, and you took it reluctantly, smiling awkwardly into the camera.

"Um. Hi?" You said, waving at the camera. Namjoon laughed again, waving back. His hair was slightly messy and his tie was a little loose, like he was pulled at it and he was walking around what you figured was his apartment. it seems like he had just gotten home.

"Hello," he said, smooth voice almost taking you off guard. "Has your day been going well?" He asked.

"Ah, it's been fine. I mostly just cleaned up a bit and cooked some dinner. I played some cards with your father, since he's been feeling better but is still a bit too weak to walk." You explained, nervously. You hadn't spoke with him much, besides a few words over text whenever he asked you how they were during the day.

"I see. Does he still cheat at poker?"

You laughed, caught by surprise by his joking statement. "Yes, actually. But I let him, he always looks proud of himself."

Namjoon chuckled. "Thank you, so much. It makes me so happy to hear that they're being well taken care of."

"Of course. They've been so kind to me, and they are so incredible." You responded honestly.

"From what I hear, you're quite incredible yourself. My mother tells me you hardly ever sit down." He replied, pushing open a door in his apartment.

You waved it off with a chuckle. "I sit down plenty when I'm with her."

"Please, remember to relax. Should I send the maid to come more often?" He asked, concern slipping into his tone.

You shook your head, not wanting to trouble him. "No, it's fine. It's really not too much work, and I feel better knowing I can take care of these things myself."

He conceded hesitantly, saying, "Fine. But please, don't strain yourself."

"I feel like I should be saying that to you. Are you just getting home from work?"

"That's... different." He denied, a sheepish smile coming to his face. You could see his hand come up to scratch at the back of his neck and held back at his shy mannerisms.

"Sure it is." You smiled. "I'll let you two keep talking now. Have a good night."

"You too. Sleep well." He smiled at you as you passed the phone back to Namjoon's mother, who was smiling way too hard at the way you two were getting along.

You left the room swiftly after that, letting out a deep breath as you walked into the hallway. You didn't even realize how easily conversation flowed with him. And he spoke so genuinely, you felt your heart flutter at his concern. You shook your head. The last you needed to be doing was falling for your contractual husband.

But, you thought to yourself as you thought about his smile. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

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brain-palacee · 3 years ago

Text

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things (part fifteen)

Or, Namjoon falls back in love with his ex (and his boyfriends do too)

Ot7 x reader (slow burn, roommates au, fluff, snippets of vacation with the boys :P )

A/N: taglist closed! thx for reading y'all, this is a long one, so strap in!

Planning for a vacation was a whirlwind with these boys.

After solidifying the details of your island vacation, they spent the next few weeks making it perfect, cross checking locations and verifying dates and making sure everything would be perfect. You had never really planned for a vacation so large scale before, usually it was just you and your banged up suitcase-- a carryon so you never had to pay for a checked bag. However, each of the boys were bringing at least two big suitcases, and Jimin, Taehyung, and Jin all had another smaller bag for their skincare routine.

After the boys realized how lightly you packed, they bought you more clothes, bags and bags full of flowy dresses, strappy sandals, gold jewelry that you could imagine would glitter in the sun on the beach, and Jin lent you a suitcase set they had, telling you to remind him to buy you your own set at some point. They had made sure you had clothes for every occasion, a silk gown, sundresses, shirts and shirts and pants, as well as a variety of swimsuits rather than your single, worn, red tankini. Looking at the variety of your new clothes, you wondered what exactly would happen on this vacation. There were events and fun activities the boys seemed excited about, but whenever you asked for details, they wouldn't tell you a word.

"Do we need suitcases that big? It'll only be, like, a week at most, right?" You asked, standing in the door way of Jimin's room. He had asked you to come help him pack, throwing items into a large suitcase, taking up half the space on his bed. Not that he used it. You realized early on that their personal rooms were really just for them to have a place to put their clothes. They all shared a bed most nights, or if it was especially hot, they split into groups, using two beds at most, usually Namjoon's and Jin's.

"No, we'll be out for at least two weeks, maybe more if Namjoon and Yoongi can get their higher ups to let them." Jimin replied, holding up two shirts. He tossed one into the suitcase, turning to put the other back then stopped, giving you a conspiratorial look, speaking in a low tone with a sneaky smile on his face. "Y'know, it's usually impossible to get them to take more time off work. Maybe they have something big planned."

"Maybe. It is a late birthday celebration." You suggested, and he gave you a knowing look that made you think that wasn't what he was thinking but he moved on anyways, shrugging and agreeing with you.

You didn't think about it much though, continuing to watch them rush around excitedly, and eventually, it was the day of travel, and you were being gently shaken awake at an early hour, the sky outside still dark. You peeked your eyes open, squinting in the light that someone had turned on. Hoseok was leaning down by your bed side, that same warm smile that was always there when he looked at you. "Morning, angel. Come on, get ready, we have to be on the plane by five am."

"'S too early." You mumbled, turning over and pressing your face into you pillow. You heard a warm chuckle, deep and rumbling as he leaned closer.

"Come on, we gotta go," Hoseok continued, still shaking you as he tried to roll you over again. After a moment of you not complying, he huffed. "You're lucky it's me waking you up. Jungkook and Tae were gonna dump a cup of water on you."

"They're mean." You muttered, face still pressed into the pillow, and he laughed, standing back up to his full height.

"Yeah, and if you don't get up, I won't stop them." He teased, walking towards the doorway of your room.

Begrudgingly, you got ready, sleepily going through your usual morning routine, trying not to take too much time. You got your suitcase in one hand and shoes in the other and trotted down the stairs, slumping down to sit on the last step and lean against the railing to rest on the last step. Jin was already there at the bottom of the stairs, his suitcase neatly against the wall by the door and checking a list. When you settled in the stairs he moved towards you, wordlessly wrapping a coat around you and helping you put it on.

"You can sleep on the plane, darling." He murmured, putting your shoes on for you and pulling you up, moving to Yoongi who had come down shortly after you, also asleep on his feet. He buttoned up Yoongi's coat for him and the sleepy man sat by your side, leaning into your shoulder for a pillow, and wrapping around you like you were a stuffed animal.

"These people don't understand the concept of beauty sleep." He slurred, lips moving against the base of your neck, making you hold back a shiver.

In contrast, Jungkook came barreling down the stairs behind you, looking way too refreshed for someone up at three in the morning and smiled brightly at you both. "You two look so cute! Vacation photos!" He held up a camera, snapping a quick picture.

"Vacation photos? We haven't even left the house yet." Jimin came down the stairs with Taehyung, pulling their luggage behind them. It was a true testament to how big these stairs were that you and Yoongi didn't even need to move for them to get past you, you marveled.

"We should invest in a service elevator." Taehyung remarked, pushing his luggage to the side. While definitely sleepy, there was a comfy beauty to their look, Taehyung's hair messy from bed and curling around his face, and Jimin looking exceptionally well rested for someone you knew only got three hours of sleep, hair tied back into a cute ponytail, probably courtesy of Jungkook.

"We should be leaving now, what is Namjoon doing?" Jin sighed in stress, checking his watch. You beckoned him towards you, sleepily latching onto his hand to claim him and Jungkook came over with the same idea, snuggling onto his other arm.

"Calm down, Jinnie." Jungkook soothed, pecking the man on the cheek. "It's one minute past four."

"We were supposed to leave at three fifty five." Jin rebutted, and you could swear he was starting to pout.

Jungkook continued reassuring him, "It's fine. We're flying private, so it's not like the plane will leave without us. All that extra time would just be us sitting in the airport."

"Sitting in the airport on schedule." Jin argued. "We have to make it for check in at the hotel early."

"Flying private?" You murmured to Yoongi, asking him for clarification while the two continued bickering in front of you.

"Yeah, like in a private jet." He said, eyes still closed.

"Wow," you breathed out in awe, thinking about how long it'd been since you last flew like that. Your family traveled often but not usually private, you could hardly remember it, only reminiscing on being tiny and grabbing onto your mother's hand. "I haven't been on one of those in forever."

"Well, ours is going to be the coolest one you've ever seen." Jimin smiled proudly at you, smug and sure that their private jet was going to blow your mind. He loved your little reactions to the things they had, thought it was so cute how grateful you were for everything, you really were so genuine.

Namjoon finally showed up, Hoseok in tow, thudding down the stairs, each with a bag slung over their shoulder and large suitcase behind him. "Everyone ready to go? No one forgetting anything?"

"You're one to talk. Do you know where your passport is?" Yoongi snarked, moving from your shoulder as they could now get ready to leave, everyone starting to gather their things again.

"Yes, I know where it is." Namjoon rolled his eyes, then patted his pockets, feeling nothing. "Wait, shit--"

"I have it Namjoon." Jin waved the little blue book at him then opened the door, waving for everyone to exit. "Now let's go, we're behind schedule."

Getting on the plane was a rush of its own, the airport always was, getting through security, picking up overpriced snacks from the stores and going to the hangar where the boys' private jet was. The airport was filled with cool murals on the wall, displays and tidbits where you were, not that you had time to read them, Jin hustling you all through the buildings.

But Jimin was right, the jet was a beauty, grander than anything you had ever been on with your parents, with a shiny white exterior, creamy beige interior, plush chocolate brown seating, you couldn't help but run your fingers along every soft edge. Taking seats, some of the boys knocked out as soon as they sat down, Yoongi kicking his seat leg up and sleeping and Taehyung doing the same, Jimin and Jungkook giggling about something in seats close to the back while Jin and Namjoon sat and discussed something in a hushed tone. Hoseok beckoned you over to the seat near him, urging you to sleep while turning on a movie to watch himself. You settled down getting comfy and putting up your chair yourself to sleep. And you would've, if you hadn't gotten a text.

soooooobin: how's your vacay w your boyfriends going?

Scrambling to hide your phone screen from Hoseok, who was definitely close enough to have seen that if he wasn't already distracted, you fired back a text.

you: SHUT UP

you: we're just friends idk why you would even say that

taehyunnie: woah Cassie chill out

beombeom: stop talking about euphoria for five seconds taehyun

beombeom: and the way y/n responded was super sus

kai: yea now it definitely sounds like they're your bfs and you're just too nervous to admit it

soooooobin: uh oh y/n's moved on, someone needs to break it to yeonjun

june: one time

june: I said she was cute oNE TIME

june: n e way you never answered the question

june: how's vacation?

you: its literally five am, we haven't even gotten there yet

you: why are you guys even up?

beombeom: dance practice

beombeom: the grind never stops 💪😎💯

soooooobin: but anyway, about you and your boyfriends

you: they aren't my boyfriends

kai: right

kai: they're just people letting you live in their house who buy you clothes and furniture and gifts and take you on cool vacations and call you cute pet names

taehyunnie: wait wait wait

taehyunnie: you live in their house???

taehyunnie: we're still talking abt Mr. Jung's friends right?

beombeom: his boyfriends apparently

taehyunnie: they're being nice to you? those guys are all so scary

kai: i mean, from what i know the few times I've met Hoseok-ssi's boyfriends, they're not the nicest bunch.

you: well yeah, i guess Jimin can be a little mean at first

soooooobin: 🤨

soooooobin: not just jimin. jin, yoongi, taehyung, and jungkook, too. they're very... guarded

you: what??? Jin is the nicest guy on earth! he was the first to be nice to me.

taehyunnie: define nice

you: he cooks for me, he talks and jokes with me, he always asks me how my day's going, and he bought me this phone after my old one broke

beombeom: wait, wait, wait... are we talking about the same person?

beombeom: when I saw Jin he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else and wanted to kill me using just his eyes

you: but he's always to sweet to me

you: and he's really cuddly

june: cuddly?! he's like six feet tall and built like a linebacker!

kai: wait, this man has cuddled with you?

you: kind of? but it's not like its out of the ordinary. they're all cuddly people

june: with each other. because they're boyfriends

taehyun: you're saying that they treat you how they treat their other boyfriends?

taehyun: and you cant see that they like you?!

you: there's no way

you: you really think they might 🥺

you: what if they're just playing with me? or they just see me as a friend?

soooooobin: from what I know, they aren't the playing type.

soooooobin: if they don't like you, they make it known. i swear that Taehyung guy looked through my soul once, and i don't think he liked what he saw

beombeom: and that look Jungkook gave us when we saw him at the recital

beombeom: he definitely did not like us being around you

june: look i think you should just lean into it. if you're receptive to then and let them know you're interested, then maybe they'll make a move

you: i don't want to ruin anything

taehyunnie: so you do like them

you: ...maybe

you: but what if I look desperate?

beombeom: if they're treating you like this, then at this point, they look desperate

kai: yea just go with the flow, if they're aren't worried abt it, you shouldn't be either

kai: don't hold back

you: geez, since when are you guys the relationship experts

june: since you came to us with the stupidest problem ever

june: you're literally their sugar baby

You choked at that, literally choked on air, alerting Hoseok causing him to look over at you.

"Everything okay, angel?" He asked, concerned and looked about two seconds away from flagging down a stewardess for water. Nodding, you tried to wave him away and get his attention back on his movie screen, when your phone buzzed again, and he glanced down at it, seeing the name of the group chat you were in and that you had 1 new message from beombeom. "Texting someone? Is a bit early in the morning, isn't it?"

"Yeah, no, it's just the boys checking on me." You explained dismissively, but this just piqued his interest even more.

"The boys?" He questioned, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

You realized he may not know who you were talking about and rushed to explain. "The ones from your studio! Beomgyu, Soobin, Yeonjun, Kai and Taehyun."

"Oh." He replied, tone dripping with something unreadable. "You talk with them often?" He asked, tone getting a bit stilted.

You didn't register it though, happy to talk about your friendship with the boys. "Yeah! We get along really well actually, I've been taking with them since the recital night."

"Wow. So, like a month and a half huh?"

"Mmhmm."

He seemed to sulk for a bit, looking back at the screen and not saying anything further. Maybe he thought it was weird you were taking to his students? They were a bit younger than you, but not by much, they were like younger brothers to you.

Or maybe, a more sinister part of yourself thought, he was jealous. But no. No, no, no, no way, no matter what the others boys thought, there was no way that the amazing men in the plane with you thought about you that way.

Right?

Deciding to catch some sleep instead of worry about your nonexistent love life, you quieted your brain, sleeping until you were awoken once more by Hoseok.

"Feel more refreshed, angel?" He asked, sliding open the window cover. You nodded, blinking the sleep out of your eyes as morning light shone through. "Take a look out the window." He said and you leaned over his lap to get a better look.

Blue ocean greeted your eyes as far as you could see, the skyline of the small island city you were landing at gleaming with the sun shining onto it. You could see beach resorts lined up in the coast, people milling about or splashing in the waves. Green palm trees and colorful flowers dotted the landscape, looking tiny from the height you were at.

"Guess which one's ours." Hoseok challenged you, and you pointed at one close by that looked nice. He shook his head, pointing to one further off in the distance, taller than any other and much more classy looking than the one you pointed out.

You can't say you were surprised, though. "Of course. You guys always go big." You chuckled fondly and he joined in, nodding.

"You don't know the half of it. Wait til you see all the stuff inside." He winked and you bounced with excitement on the chair's plush cushion.

Landing was a smooth process, but you could tell Jin was still anxious about being on time to check in, shaking his leg or tapping his foot everytime you guys weren't walking. He rushed you guys all the way up until you all were standing in front of the rental car taking you to the hotel, and even then he wasn't much more patient.

There were two rental cars, one of them waiting at the hotel and the one ready for you now, sleek and white and large, silver panels glinting in the sun. However, even with it being an SUV, there was still only seven seats.

"Um, Jin," Taehyung decided to bring up the fact gingerly, knowing Jin was already on edge. "There's only seven seats."

Jin pursed his lips, inhaling sharply through his nose, then nodded after a moment. "Yeah. We have two cars but there's only one ready for now, so just squeeze in until we get to the hotel. Sit on each other's lap, I don't know." He commanded, striding towards the trunk to start lifting suitcases inside.

"Is that legal?" Jungkook whispered, causing Yoongi to elbow him in the side, telling him to just get in the car.

"Alright, who's sitting in someone's lap and who's getting sat on?" Taehyung brought up the question bluntly as there was nothing left to do now but get in.

The boys all groaned, Jin rolling his eyes and settling in the driver's seat. Namjoon quickly called the front seat, leaving all the boys to groan again.

"I could just squeeze next to someone, I'm sure that would be more comfortable." You suggested hesitantly, deciding to help the situation a little and get rid of one of the decisions they had to make.

The boys all turned to you then back to each other, immediately entering a quick game of rock paper scissors. This time, when the game finished everyone except Yoongi groaned, the man pulling away with a smug smile. You assumed they were playing for who got their own seat but surprisingly, Yoongi turned to you.

"Looks like you're sitting with me."

"Wait, wait, I got second place, I get to sit next to you." Taehyung pleaded and you shrugged, the other boys seemingly resigning themselves to not sitting near you, which apparently is what they wanted to do.

Weird.

Getting in between Taehyung and Yoongi, half in Yoongi's lap with your legs draped over Taehyung, Jin started to drive, the car rolling onto the main street and away from the airport. "Sorry, sweetheart, hang in there until get to the hotel. It's not far." Jin apologized to you, glancing over at you before twisting the wheel as he merged onto the lane.

It wasn't far, but it was a bumpy ride, each bump scooting you further up into Yoongi's lap. The man behind you had gone totally silent, even as the other boys started talking about how excited the were for vacation. After a particularly hard bump that almost made you hit your head on the ceiling, you landed back down hard in his lap, Yoongi hissing, and his hands found your hips, squeezing tightly, holding you in place you assumed. The hiss was probably because I hurt his leg, you assumed, you'll have to apologize later. After a few minutes, the road evened out, the tall building coming into view and Jin parking near the entrance, flagging down the valet. The boys climbed out, all of them tossing looks over your head that you couldn't catch, not understand what ask the smug faces and knowing looks were about, but they were definitely looking at Yoongi. You turned to look at him, but his face was turned away from you, the man quickly slipping out the car from under you, going to help get suitcases from the trunk.

You hopped out, a pout on your face. "What's wrong, princess?" Jimin asked, rolling his suitcase up next to you as he waited for everyone else to grab their things.

"I think I hurt Yoongi." You said genuinely, worry all over your face as you turned to Jimin.

Jimin snorted, then tried to contain himself, holding back laughter. "Oh, I don't think he's hurt princess." Not knowing what to make of that, you just went to grab your bag from Jungkook, who refused to give it to you, saying he wanted to hold it for you. Instead, Taehyung grabbed your hand, walking with you to the front desk so Jin and Namjoon could check you all in. The clerk at the desk handed them two keys, bringing you all free lemon waters as a bell hop came to take your bags.

Jin came away from the counter, handing the maknaes a key, and beginning to explain the room details. "Okay, we're on the top floor with a view that looks over the resort and the beach, and there's two floors in each room, both with a swim up pool and jacuzzi."

"Wow." You said amazed. This was all so exciting, you started to bounce again, rocking on your toes eagerly.

"Alright, bunny, don't get too excited." Hoseok joked, and Jungkook burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, bunny totally suits you!" He laughed, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm calling you that forever now, that's perfect."

"Get your own nickname!" Hoseok playfully smacked his back, but Jungkook was unfazed.

"Too bad! Make a new one." He teased, and stuck his tongue out at him.

Jin rolled his eyes playfully and continued, "Our rooms are conjoined, so there's a different space for both beds, but we share the same balcony."

"Wait, both?" You asked, wanting clarification, but your voice was covered by the clerk announcing your rooms were ready. Both as in two? As in only two beds? Your mind raced as you followed them down the opulent halls, interestingly shaped topiary especially lining every few meters, and decorative sconces holding warm toned light bulbs on the walls of the hallway.

Going into your rooms, it was just as grand as Jin described, two rooms that shared the same wall, with a balcony that spanned both rooms, and two sets of stairs that led up to a roof top pool on the edge and a jacuzzi closer to the door. The boys-- minus Jin who was carefully unpacking his stuff and Namjoon who was again talking with him quietly-- all ran back and forth between rooms, putting their stuff down and fawning over the decor, Jungkook snapping a few more vacation pictures. You squealed excitedly looking at all the cool things, the bathroom was sparkling clean, the balcony wide with seating overlooking the resort and the roof top overlooked the beach on the other side. But you saw something that made you pause. There were two beds, and eight people.

"Umm," you said to no one in particular, standing in the doorway between the two rooms as everyone moved around. "There's only two beds."

"Yeah," Jin stated simply, turning to you and not seeing an issue. Then realization flashed on his face, "Oh! Did you want your own room? I get it, privacy, right? I can go ask-"

"No, y/nie, you should room with us!" Jungkook insisted, pulling you to bring your stuff to the room the maknaes had claimed. "It'll be fun! We can share a bed and cuddle."

Taehyung joined in, trying to convince you as well and clinging to your arm, also dragging you towards their room. "Yeah, you owe us for not inviting us to your cuddle session."

"That was so long ago," Yoongi rolled his eyes, already lounging on the bed in the hyungs room. "Y/n can sleep wherever she wants."

You shrugged as best you could with two men holding onto your arms. "I'm fine sleeping here, I just didn't know if you wanted to share with me--"

"Of course, we do! Come here, let's find something good to watch." Jimin patted the mattress, setting up on the bed himself and then holding his arms out for you to lay with him.

"There's nothing to do today?" You asked, crawling onto the high bed towards Jimin who enveloped you in his arms.

"No." Jin deadpanned, finally setting everything down and slumping onto the bed. "I am going to bed, don't wake me up until its tomorrow."

"You heard the man, close the door so we can have some privacy." Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows at you and Jungkook laughed, moving to close the door that joined the two rooms.

You could hear Hoseok's voice ask, "Are we sure that leaving them alone with her is a good idea?" And then Jungkook shut the door once and for all, jumping into the cushy bed and laying across the end of the mattress. Taehyung laid down on Jimin's other side, wrapping his arms over both of you and pulling you closer.

Jungkook tuned into one of the movie channels, old action movies playing back to back lulling you to sleep, and you all spent the rest of the day in a dreamy haze, sleeping and resting in one big cuddly heap. Namjoon popped his head in around lunch and dinnertime to bring you guys some of the take out they had ordered and that was all for your first day of vacation.

The next day, Jungkook and Taehyung wanted to hit the beach first thing, waking up and putting on board shirts and tank tops. You were going to join, putting on a floral bikini that was in the bag and ripping the tag off, using one of Jungkook's shirts as a cover up when he had offered it to you.

"Are you guys ready?" Jimin asked, peeking into the hyungs room, only to find Jin still laying in bed, Namjoon murmuring quietly to him.

"Jin didn't feel too good. He's staying in." Hoseok explained, only half buttoning up his shirt as he grabbed a towel.

"I can stay with him."

"No, go enjoy the beach." Jin waved you off. "It's just a stress headache."

"Still, no reason for you to stay on your own." You insisted. "It's fine, we'll be here a while, I'll have plenty of chances to go to the beach."

Namjoon gave you a grateful look, coming over to you. "Thanks, Jin always over stresses on vacation, he'll be fine in no time as long you make sure he rests."

"Of course, I'll make sure he doesn't lift a finger." You said, echoing one of Jin's favorite sentiments when taking care of you all.

The boys all cleared out and he went over to Jin, pressing his face into a pillow. "How can I help you, oppa? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want some pain pills? I brought some." You offered, wanting to ease his pain. He was always someone taking care of others, bright, happy, active, seeing him laying down looking miserable was painful for you too.

"'M fine." He insisted, then lifting his face from the pillow slightly, "Can I have some water and pills?"

"Of course, oppa!" You replied, getting some for him. You set them down on the night stand and then ordered room service for him to have breakfast, fiddling with the in-room coffee maker to try and make his coffee how he liked it. When room service came, you took the plate, sitting yourself in a chair next to his bedside.

Jin watched you bustle around the room, keeping him company and waiting patiently for him to be ready to eat. The colors of your bikini were visible through the white shirt Jungkook lent you and Jin thought again about how you were giving up your free time to help him, even if it was just keeping him company.

"Thank you," he said genuinely, laying still with his head back on the pillow, just content to watch you move around. "You really are too sweet to me, cupcake."

"Not at all. If you need help, then I'll help you." You responded warmly, then paused. "But if you don't mind me asking, why were you rushing so much yesterday?"

Jin blushed a little, embarrassed at his prior snappiness, and starting to explain, shyly, "Well, I just... this is your first vacation with us. I wanted to make sure nothing would ruin it. I can't tell you how much trips we've taken where we forgot something, or left too late-- especially with Namjoon, god," he chuckled, seemingly reminiscing. "I love him, really I do with all my heart, but that man is prone to disaster."

He looked back at you, soft and happy nestled into the sheets and scooted over, patting the bed next to him. "Come closer."

You giggled, but obliged, tucking the sheets in a little tighter around him and sitting up next to him, plate of food in your lap. You gathered food onto the spoon, leading to Jin's mouth and he laughed. "Yah, I have a headache I'm not a baby. I can feed myself."

"Aw, come on, Jinnie oppa," your sweet voice chirped, sweetly smiling down at him as you moved the spoon closer to his face. "You always take care of me. Let me help you, I want you to feel better."

The light coming through the window illuminated the side of your face and the curls in your messy bun that were laying on your face and shoulder. You looked like you were glowing, your caring smile and the warmth in your eyes made Jin want to cradle you close and he almost reached up to cup your cheek the way he does when he's about to pull one of the boys into a kiss.

Oh.

How could he be so clueless? Of course, it only made sense, this whole time he'd thought about it as a possibility but he hadn't even noticed it happening. When had he started treating you the way he does his other loves? When had his heart accepted you as his own? Probably the moment he saw you.

He sat up, deciding to let you take care of him, because you wanted to, because you care about him, and ate the food you were feeding him.

"You're so kind, darling." he said again instead, the feelings welling up in his chest and spilling out.

You shook your head with that determined smile on your face, bringing another spoon to his lips. "Just giving back what you gave me."

You have no idea how much you've given him already.

The next day, Jungkook had made sure that you were coming out with them. The beach had gotten a warning for super high waves, so rather than wade through rocky waters, the guys had decided to just go to the pool, or stay in today. Taehyung and Jimin were in the room having a movie marathon, Hoseok and Yoongi cuddling in bed, and Jin and Namjoon were with you, laying on lounge chairs by the pool. You could already tell they were attracting a lot of attention, Namjoon's golden chest on display and Jin was already getting recognized by the people around him even with the giant sunglasses on his face. They were only looking at each other though, staring into each other's eyes with love that comes from years and years of experience with each other, hands clasped loosely but meaningful between their chairs. You knew there were certain untouchable bonds in the relationship they all had, Jimin and Taehyung being a prime example. But if there was then Jimin and Taehyung, then there was also Jin and Namjoon. The two relied on each like they did no one else, balancing each other's personalities out extraordinarily well.

A splash soaked you from head to toe, your comfy spot on the steps of the pool shaken up by Jungkook's messing swimming over. "Jungkook!" You shrieked, splashing him back, him just shaking it off like a wet dog, hair hanging down in front of his face in wet curls, a wide smile on his face.

"What? I was just swimming." He said, pretending to be innocent as if he wasn't the reason you got drenched in water a second ago. "You should join me, bunny, the water feels nice."

"I know, I can feel it from here." You cried your legs, getting comfy again. There was no one else in this pool, there were multiple throughout the resort, but where you were right now was pretty much deserted.

"What? You don't want to swim?" He put his hands on his hips, raising a judging eyebrow. He studied you for a moment, watching the way you avoided eye contact. "Or you don't know how?" He concluded knowingly.

"I know how to swim."

He made a gesture to the water s if to say, 'show me, then' and you scoffed, deciding to step into the water and show him how its done. You began doggy paddling.

He bust out laughing, covering his face. "That's not swimming!" He protested.

"Yes it is!" You insisted as you swam, barely moving forward two feet.

"What are you going to do if you're in the middle of ocean? That's not gonna work in deep water." He countered, watching you swim around slowly with much amusement on his face.

"I think it will." You replied stubbornly, still swimming.

"Oh yeah?" He smirked in a way that made you think you wouldn't like his next move, and you didn't. Jungkook scooped you up, wading into the deeper end of the pool with you in his arms and you squealed, squeezing him tighter the further in he goes. You could tell where this was going.

"Wait, wait, no, don't drop me! Oppa, please?" You pouted up at him, fluttering your lashes and trying to pull every trick in the book to make him have mercy on your soul. Jungkook paused, narrowing his eyes, and then let you down gently into the water as you cheered.

"We've been spoiling you too much, bunny." He sighed. He was too weak to do anything mean to you when you looked at him like that. And the happy, proud look on your face now as you still held onto him was too endearing.

"I don't think so," you responded, holding onto his shoulders to hold you up, water too deep for you to touch the bottom. Your hair was curling and wet around your face, smile wide with your victory of getting away with not being dropped into the pool. Jungkook decided to take pity on you and hefted you back into his arms so you didn't tire your legs out paddling.

He was just going to carry you back to the steps, he swears he was, but when he lifted you into his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist almost automatically, your warm weight on him and he had to be conscious of where he out his hands, grabbing under your plush thighs as your head moved closer to his, still smiling so damn cutely. You panted lightly, catching your breath from pushing in place and he could feel it on his face, and he paused in place. What if he just leaned forward and kissed you right now?

Wait.

Woah.

That's usually a thought he had when the hyungs were being cute, him stopping them in the middle of whatever they were doing with a kiss on their lips and watching the adorable way their brain would stutter once they registered it. Why did he want to kiss you like he did his hyungs?

Don't be stupid, dummy, a deeper part of his brain scolded, it's not like this is anything new.

And it wasn't, technically. Jungkook's thought you were cute this whole time. Was he going to do anything about it? No, but this was the first time he's wanted to. Like, really wanted. The realization almost made him drop you in the pool for real, instead hurriedly bringing you back to the steps. He glanced over at Jin and Namjoon who were still talking, but Jin looked over at him with a look that made him think he understood what was going on more then he let on, going back to his conversation.

You voice brought him back down to earth, you settled on your step again. "See, I totally can swim." You crossed your arms smugly, your point proven and Jungkook chuckled, a bit in disbelief.

He was in deep water, and he wasn't talking about this pool.

"Y/n," Taehyung approached you, during dinner, after you and Jungkook had come back from the pool. You were still in your bikini, sitting on a towel to dry off while waiting for Jungkook to finish with the shower, eating a burger the guys ordered for dinner. You looked up at him, barbecue sauce smeared on your cheek. "Do you wanna go break in the roof top pool with me?"

You tilted your head slightly confused. "I thought we were all gonna go tomorrow, play cards and stuff."

"Yeah, but I wanted to take pictures of my own," he held up his phone. "And I need my muse." He added, smiling softly at you, tapping your nose.

"Your muse?" You giggled, scrunching up your nose the cute way you always did when he tapped it

"Yup. All my pictures look better when you're in them."

You agreed to go with him, following him up the stairs to the roof. You skimmed your fingers across the water. A bit cold, but manageable, you figured. You heard a snap, straightening up to see Taehyung already taking pictures.

"Sorry," he apologized. "You just looked perfect with the sunset behind you." He swung his legs over the edge, sitting on the built-in bench in the water, luxuriating in the cool water against his skin. You slipped in next to him, swimming close to the edge and watching the excess water push over the edge, getting caught in the basin underneath. You laid your head on your arm as you changed your view to the whole resort. It really was a beautiful view. The resort was large and sleek, modern decor. From here, you could see the spa building, the two start lounge with a glass wall spanning both floors, the fairy lights hung through the palm trees. The pools dotted throughout the resort glowing blue from their pool lights and the room lights of the people across yours. It was so weird and so serene, being in a place with others and still having privacy. It was only a couple days and no one had tried to approach the boys yet, despite them being famous enough to warrant that. You wondered if that would stay the same the while time you were here.

You heard another snap and you turned your head back toward Taehyung. "You were serious about me being your muse?"

"Mhm," he hummed, taking another picture of you looking over your arm at him. "You're a good subject to photograph."

"Cheesy." You teased, moving through the water towards him. He snapped multiple pictures of you wading up to him, and you started laughing at the sheer number of times you heard him press the button with a short span. "Aren't pictures Jungkook's thing, anyways?" You joked.

"We have common interests." He shrugged, taking one last picture of you making funny faces at the camera.

You settled, sitting next to him and leaning your head on his shoulder as the sunset turned to night and stars. Taehyung's fingers tightened around the phone he was holding, itching to hold you instead. He was really trying to keep his hands to himself, holding you while you were in a bikini was a bad idea, and while he had his suspicions that his loves were battling with the same feeling, he didn't want to make a move until he was sure they were all on the same page.

You clinging to him was something he didn't account for, sitting next to him while babbling about something he wasn't really paying attention to and grabbing his arm, holding it to your chest as you looked out towards the beach at the edge of the resort. He loved how comfortable you were with them now, reaching out and touching and holding them, but now with you in a bikini, wet skin and happy and relaxed like he's never seen you, it was a lot at once. Why did he ask you come up here with him again? Oh, right, because he's a fool.

"Right, Tae?" You finished your ramble, looking up at him expectantly. He blinked cluelessly and you pushed his arm away, splashing at him. "You weren't even listening!"

"I'm sorry... I was thinking," he said, an absent minded excuse while his brain caught up with his mouth.

"Thinking about what?" You questioned, unbelieving.

What it'd be like to hold you like you were theirs.

"Just... how fun this vacation is going to be. " He said instead, placing his phone aside on a towel so it wouldn't get any more wet.

You slumped further into the water, sulking, "I wouldn't know, you guys are hiding all your plans from me."

Taehyung took pity on you, trying to explain to ease your worries. "We don't have much planned, I swear. There's just one or two things."

"Like?" You asked, putting for more information, bumping into his side playfully, your thigh brushing his in the water.

Still he resisted, blocking out the sensation of you against him. "Like things I can't tell you."

"Meanie." You pouted, and he smiled.

"You'll find out soon enough, my muse." He murmured lowly, pushing a strand of your wet hair out of your face.

He sighed to himself, watching you rave about how much you liked the resort and thinking to himself, I hope the rest of the guys get it together soon.

Hoseok had invited you down to the lounge to sit and drink with him. Drinking wasn't your thing but when was the next time you'd get to have complimentary drinks and such lovely company? So you went, dressed in a flowy sundress and met him in the lobby. You spotted him easily, the man looking elegant and dapper in a crisp button down shirt, his profile to you as he studied a painting hung on the wall near him.

"Hey," you announced your presence, and he turned to you, immediately bursting into a smile.

"Hey angel," he said. "Come sit." He patted the space next to him and you settled on the soft cushion near him as he wrapped an arm around you. "How have you been?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"I've been good, its so relaxing being here, I've never somewhere so beautiful." You sighed in contentment, staring up the pretty painting as well.

"I'm glad. It's good to see you happy." He said, warm eyes giving you his full attention. "Did you want a drink?"

"Umm, sure, something sweet please. I don't like bitter drinks." You requested, and he nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. You blinked, shock running through you. Did he really just kiss you? No, no, no way, maybe he just brushed against you in a way that felt like a kiss. And besides, it was probably just a friendly kiss, there was no way Hoseok was interested in you like that. You shook your head, deciding to just stop thinking about it and turned to see him standing at the bar, caught in conversation with a girl leaning into his space and obviously flirting with him, the polite smile on his face around to take on a strained edge.

You would just have to help him out.

You and enough way over, placing a hand in his back and trailing your hands across his chest to the fruity looking drink in his hand. "Thank you for getting my drink Hobi oppa," you smiled up at him, not addressing the woman sitting there, looking at you weirdly. "Shall we go sit?"

He caught on, smile losing its tension. "Of course, I'm sorry for making you wait." He apologized, taking your hand in his and pressing his mouth to your hand. That was definitely a kiss, and in no way friendly, the heated energy in his eyes as he made eye contact with you as he pecked the back of your hand making your heart stutter. "If you'll excuse me." He said to the other woman without looking back at her making to walk away.

"Of course, but perhaps we'll meet again later?" The woman tried hopefully, but you turned, cutting her off.

"Sorry, he's taken. Pleasure talking with you." You waved cheerfully, speeding way with Hoseok in tow, the man chuckling next to you.

"Is someone getting a little jealous?" He teased.

"Just figured if the boys were here it's what they would do."

"Oh, they'd have a few choice words." He agreed, though that was an understatement, settling down onto the couch again. When you went to sit next to him, he pulled you closer so you settled against his chest, a leg of his on either side of you. "We're all very territorial. We like to keep each other close." He explained, voice rumbling into your ear.

"I figured." You nodded, then pressed on, liquor easing your tongue a little. "But, I guess they wouldn't be worried about you talking with a girl as much."

"Mm," he hummed, fingers staring to trail up and down your arms mindlessly. "Actually, I've been thinking about that lately."

"Oh, really?"

"Yup. I figured, if someone's personality was particularly alluring, I wouldn't be too worried about whether they were a girl or guy."

"Oh." You muttered, not sure what else to say. He chuckled again, you feeling it rumble through your back this time as you took a sip to keep from having to speak.

"You're so genuine, Y/n." He sighed don't contentment, melting into you. "It's refreshing. Usually, they boys are the only ones I can be myself around, but with you I'm just me. Jung Hoseok."

You smiled, heart fluttering. You weren't sure what to say, but it made you unbelievably happy that Hoseok trusted you like that. Luckily, you didn't have to say anything, his phone ringing with one of the boys calling you two back.

As you went back to the hotel room, hands clasped together still, your heart raced and only one thought was running through your head.

I'm in trouble.

Eventually, you did get to go to the beach, all of you soaking in sun and playing in the sand, burying each other and making sand castles.

The vacation lifestyle suited you, Yoongi decided, seeing your hair wet from the shower and curled from the sea salt, skin glowing and smooth from the natural exfoliant of the sand, and the carefree smile on your lips as you surveyed their room. It wasn't any different from the one you shared with the maknaes, mirrored maybe, but you looked around as if you thought it was cool anyways. You were wearing a pajama set, one that must've been specifically designed for torture, or maybe it was just too small on you because the tank top exposed your midriff and lower back everytime you lifted your arms and the shorts were on you like a second skin. He directed his attention towards the smooth white ceiling instead, laying an arm over his eyes.

"Ooh, there's fancy hotel tea cups." Your voice cooed, the ornately designed cups clinking against their tray as you picked them up.

Yoongi snorted, a soft puff of air coming out of his nose. "You're a dork." He say up, looking at you dig through the tea flavors and pull out two.

"Yoonie oppa, let's have tea," You pleaded, fluttering your eyes at him.

"Don't act cute." He scoffed, closing his eyes again.

You didn't answer, just tossing a smile over your shoulder and set about making tea with the hotel coffee machine, using the pot to boil the water and then pouring it into two cups.

"I know it's not quite night yet, but we can still drink tea and talk, right?" You gave him a cup with the tea bag inside starting to steep, turning the water a golden brown. He took it, propping himself up with pillows and turning to face you.

"Alright," he began. "How have you been?"

You shook your head, slipping in bed next to him, your softness of the skin of your thigh brushing against him. "I feel like your always checking on me. How are you?"

How was he? He was on vacation with the loves of his life and you, whatever you were becoming to him. Could he, in good conscience, say he had feelings for you when he wasn't sure if his loves were on the same page? He wasn't sure.

He shrugged, "Fine as always, can't complain. I'm on vacation and dreading the time when I have to go back to working."

"Really? I've never heard you complain about work." You asked, raising a critical brow as you took a sip of tea.

"I know, I usually don't. I love work, I really do, but recently, I've been preferring spending more time at home." He said, glancing up at you. "So, that's me. How about you? Enjoying vacation?"

"Yeah!" You exclaimed, thinking about how much fun you've had. "There's so much wildlife here! I saw some manta rays in the water earlier."

You continued talking about your day, Yoongi content to listen to you talk about the things that made you happy. He focused on the feeling of your next to him, basking in your presence until the other boys came home with the dinner they went out to get, you eating and going back to the room you shared with the maknaes.

Watching you leave the room, Yoongi sighed. He should've asked you to stay with them instead of letting you stay with the maknaes.

One restless night, you sighed, rolling out from the cuddle pile of the maknaes and walking towards the balcony. You were up, mind spinning with wondering about the situation with the boys. You didn't expect Namjoon to be there already, staring up at the moon like it was talking to him.

He turned to you, surprised. "Hey, what are you doing up?"

"I just... couldn't sleep."

He cracked a sarcastic smile. "Yeah. Me neither."

The two of you stood there side by side for a while in silence until Namjoon chuckled. "You remember when we used to go to the beach when everything was stressing us out?"

"Which ended up being all the time, yeah." You smiled up at the stars, wondering how many times you had done this very thing together.

Namjoon nodded, reminiscing. "This is my first time on a beach at night in a while. We haven't done a beach vacation in a while. It's probably been... what two, three years?"

You looked at him incredulously. "No way. Even I went all the time. The beach is one of the only places you can get in free." You laughed. "We have to go down to the beach, I can't believe it's been that long since you've been there at night."

"Right now?"

"Yes!"

You dragged him down to the beach, not that he put up much resistance, watching you skip happily down to the walkway that led to the sand. It had been so long, he thought, squeezing your hand a little tighter, way too long.

"Here we are," you said, taking off your sandals to dig your feet into the sand. Namjoon did the same and the two of you settling into an easy stroll.

"I used to take my stuff and spend the night at the beach, laying in my car and looking up at the stars through the roof opening." You said after a moment. "It... reminded me of you..." You quietly admitted, looking away from him at the waves.

He smiled down at you, "Well, now you need no reminder. We're together again and can walk down beach anytime you want."

"Anytime?" You asked, turning to him dubiously. "Even if you're at work and busy with a big project?"

"Say the word and I'll make an excuse to leave."

"You wouldn't." You laughed it off looking away again and he tugged gently at your hand, pulling your attention back to him.

"If you really needed me, I absolutely would."

You stared into his eyes for a moment, determined and sure and focused solely on you and then something caught your attention out the corner of his eye.

"Crabs!" You yelled happily, pointing at the group of crabs waddling across the beach. "Joonie, we have to go play with them!" You pulled at his hand again and he followed happily.

The two of you watched the crabs, staying a safe distance away and watching how they would pick things up with their cute little pincers, even seeing some baby sea turtles crawl through the sand into the ocean, until a chill swept over the beach, making you wrap your arms around yourself in a shiver.

"We should head back." Namjoon said after seeing you shake.

"Yeah." Then a mischievous smile crossed your face. "I bet the hot tub could warm us up."

And so you went back upstairs, changing into bathing suits and sneaking up the stairs to the jacuzzi, splashing and playing around in the tub, carefree and fun with just the two of you. Namjoon missed this. The two of you around each other, no walls between you, just easiness in talking to each other.

"A bug!" You squealed in panic at zone point, squishing yourself to his side, crawling half into his lap to move out of the bug's way. He laughed at you, steadying you by your hips so you could get away from the bug without falling into the pool.

"All these years and you're still scared of bugs. It's just a bee." He said, you pouting at his teasing as you settled in his lap, bee forgotten.

"It was buzzing really loud, it scared me." You explained and he laughed, looking up at you. It took you a moment to realize you were sitting in his lap and extracted yourself, apologizing. He just shook his head still smiling at you.

"I'm glad we're friends again, Joonie." You said, mood dimming slightly, as you broached a more serious topic.

His regret flared up in him again, trying to remind himself that he was fixing his mistakes. But fixing old wounds came with rekindling old feelings. He cleared his throat, saying. "I am, too. You don't know how much I missed you. I would've reached out, but..."

"We're here now." You stopped him and he nodded.

The door to the roof slid open. "I told you they'd be up here!" A sleepy looking Jin stood at the door, Jungkook pointing an accusatory finger at you both. "Stop doing fun stuff without us!" He whined, making you and Namjoon laugh.

"Princess," Jimin said knocking the room door as he entered. "What are you doing? Get dressed."

"Dressed?" You mumbled, half asleep. You had fallen asleep after another long day of swimming, eating dinner and retiring to your room to rest.

"Yes, dressed in that red gown I bought you. The hotel is hosting an ballroom event." He spoke in a low tone, almost a whisper.

"A ballroom?"

"Yes." He rolled his eyes fondly. "You were wondering what we planned, this is it. There's a ball."

"You planned a ball?"

"No, we asked the hotel to plan a ball. Now get dressed!" He shut the door again.

And after rushing through a routine, you were dressed, makeup, heels, and perfume on as you strutted into the lobby to meet the rest of them. Yoongi and Taehyung were missing, Jin and Jimin explaining to you that they were distracting Jungkook and Namjoon while the ball got set up. You entered the room, waiting for Jungkook and Namjoon to enter and the surprise in their face was worth it.

Surprise ball. That's a whole different level then a surprise party. You mused, sitting at a table and watching the festivities around you, the other hotel residents around also enjoying the party. Did they even know they were among celebrities? You saw Jimin and Taehyung getting some recognition, shocked faces after spotting them funny to watch.

Jimin looked over the ballroom, happy everything and gone off without a a hitch. This party was for Jungkook and Namjoon but part of them also wanted you to be impressed. He couldn't put his finger on why your approval was so important to him, but as his eyes landed on you sitting alone, it became all too clear.

Jimin had been in this kind of love before, the kind of love that sneaks up on you. He had felt it happen with Taehyung, but it was easier then. When it was Hoseok and Yoongi it was harder, they were so different from him he hadn't expected to fall for them. He hadn't expected to fall in love with them quiet and cold as they seemed before, and then one day he just was. Simple as breathing the same as blinking. He wasn't in control of it, not really. Its just something he needed to do. He need to have his heart beat, air in his lungs, and he needed to love them. And now you, sitting here in your velvety red gown, clinging to your body like silk, looking all too oblivious to the way you had captured everyone's attention just by being here, had snuck up on his heart the same way.

Damn, why did he have to buy you that dress? When had it happened? Jimin likes to think he is vigilant, but maybe you snuck up on him because he let his guard down. He had become so completely comfortable around you that you must've made your way into his mind without he noticing. Or maybe without him caring. He couldn't be upset about you having all his attention now, not when you were so worth it, so kind, so funny, so tempting. He couldn't get himself to look away from your lips, your dark red lipstick matching your dress looked so pristine and yet he could only think of it smudged, smeared along your jaw, your neck--

"Jimin?" Your lips formed his name. It took him a moment to raise you were calling for his attention. He hadn't even realized that he crossed the room to you. "Yes, princess?"

"Are you okay? You look distracted?"

You have no idea... "These events just bore me." He said instead. He leaned in close to you, staring down onlookers. Back off, he hissed in his mind.

"Yeah, this isn't the most fun." Your red lips formed a mischievous smile. "But I think that's just cause we're sitting. Dance with me?" You held out a hand and he took it, lifting you from your seat

"Of course, darling."

He was reeling a bit. He'd never taken interest in a girl before, they had always been too different, he couldn't relate and he couldn't understand how they worked, it wasn't an easy thing like how it was with his boyfriends. They were boring.

But you filled him with life. You were anything but boring, dependable and encouraged him to step outside his box every once in a while. "Waltzing is easier when you're not in the rain." You smiled,

"But not as fun," Jimin countered, breaking out of his thoughts. The two of you zipped around the floor, elegant and fluid like water in a fountain. He felt complete. Really, truly complete, knowing that you were the piece they needed. Nothing brought them together like you.

When you had gone away from the table, after you finished dancing and they had decided to sit down and eat, Jimin just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Guys," he began, hands shaking slightly. "I think I like Y/n. Like, like like Y/n." He looked down at his plate, nervous to meet anyone's faces, only to look up after he heard Taehyung burst out laughing.

"Thank fuck." He laughed in relief. "I thought I was going crazy."

"I think we are a little crazy." Yoongi added.

Jungkook shook his head, contemplatively. "No. Crazy would be not liking her."

"That's cheesy." Hoseok rolled his eyes. "But yeah." He agreed, casually, as if he hadn't had a whole breakdown himself.

"What do you mean, yeah? You just accepted it?"

"She's special. Anyone would fall in love with her."

"Love?" Jungkook asked.

"I'm going to be completely honest. Yes, love. I feel the same about her as I do about you guys. And I love you guys." Hoseok shrugged.

"I agree with Hoseok honestly. She's become such a big part of our lives now. I mean, can you say we're wrong?"

"Oh my god, at least we've finally admitted it." Jin sighed. Then directed his attention to Namjoon who hadn't said anything. "Joon?"

"Sorry," he sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "I just need a minute."

"Aw, Namjoon." Jungkook chuckled pulling him into a hug.

"I'm just happy. I didn't expect... I'm glad you guys all like her, I was so worried."

"Well, you have excellent taste." Taehyung commented. "So, are we doing this?"

They all shared a look, coming to agreement. "Yeah. Let's make her ours."

Taglist closed: @sunshinehobissunshine @pb-n-juju @bunnyrhe @7soulsbts @tinyoonsblog @royalchickens @urvirtualgfteehee @tazzi-baby @deathincarnation @alngelias @jinswifeyy @not-all-are-the-same @btsizlyfe @justsomoneliving @purplelady85 @just-me-and-myselfs @thinkaholicer @kookstempo @kosmicbomb @squishyturtle @bunzom @fuckinglittlekitten @canarystwin @scuzmunkie @stupendousliteraturewritingoaf @sugarrush-blush @bt21chim @maries110911 @bjoriis @creatorspalace @highinhopess @little-dark-empress @onlythebest-106 @cestlabellemort @rapunzel76 @kamen-tenshi @totallynoanalien @singukieee @gingerupset @sunshinee0-0 @avadakadabra93 @lvrseok @musicismyoxygen @missinggot7 @silscintilla @jcrml @chosovisionaries @hwa-loves @placeoftime @embrace-themagic

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