braindeadvenus

[braindeadvenus]

Joel’s new post!

Thank you for the love & support. That means everything. 🖤

[braindeadvenus]

Let people have their own opinion and pour their feelings out in this way. Just because you rationalize it, doesn't mean everbody have to.

[braindeadvenus]

usually i get too terrified to post on social media (once i commented on someones post on here and my body started physically shaking until they answered), and when a situation like Joel leaving Blind Channel comes up I'll rant to friends who know generally know nothing about this band apart from what i tell them.

however i have some very strong feelings about this situation, and it was not enough to do what i normally do so excuse me as i give my opinion based off of all my observations whilst lurking in the shadows (trust me i know more about this band than it would seem based off of my tiny levels of interaction with the fandom) and then proceed to slither back under the rock whence i came.

ive seen many peoples responses to the situation, and i do think it is in fact a weird one. im not going off of how it was worded, which is what many people seem to be doing. i think that from the snippet we see of how Joel's health was being affected by the momentum of the band's success after eurovision is enough to tell us that it was too much for him. he mentioned at one point having had hallucinations such as "the ground pumping" (quoted - i think is how he said it) on road to rotterdam so there was definitely more going on behind the scenes which we will never know.

however this seemed like a very out of character thing for joel to do at this period in time. he has always loved the band and has given all of his energy to it. i do not for one second believe that he would leave unless he absolutely had to. however the timing of this is uncanny to me. on a hiatus, when they are meant to be getting all of their energy back whilst working on whatever side projects they would want to pursue, i would not expect health to be the underlying cause of joel leaving. i'd think it would be a thing taken into consideration for sure, but not the main reason. i'd think that it would be more like him to leave after they came back and had had a tour, or maybe even during a tour itself, or just in the midst of some very tiring work, when he had the time to realise just how draining the band is for him.

it seems like the decision is too logical for him to make for his health, and too illogical for him to make for his happiness. going off of the fact that he has adhd, it's a fucking miracle when you have adhd that theres something that you can do 24/7 without getting bored and it would arguably be MORE important to someone w/ adhd than their own health, success & basically everything else, especially if its the ONE thing you wanted to do with your life. despite how exhausted he was, it's so untimely for him especially and just doesnt make sense with the hiatus having been a time for rest

there's been references to the clip in their documentary, which seems to have made MANY people in the fandom, me included, extremely uncomfortable, where joel and niko disagree over lines in wolves. i feel like it's an odd situation, because its not just about how the lines were divided. the fact that they are rap means they were literally tailored towards niko's strengths, and not joel's, and when you have two vocalists it's important to keep a balance of that in each album, yet in exit emotions it seems to be completely unbalanced throughout the whole album, which is something that they MUST have noticed in their recording process and therefore done it deliberately. there was no logical reason why joel couldn't sing 5 more words, which is what kind of annoyed me. on top of that, it feels very much as if niko is talking down to joel, and feels more like joel is a 5 year old asking for a piece of candy after having been told no numerous times, rather than being an equal to niko, an adult who can logically look at some lyrics and think 'hey, i have less lines'. it would be more out of place if it was the only/ one of few songs on the album, however wolves isnt the only song, its seemed like that for phobia, xoxo, happy doomsday, etc.

and it feels like that atmosphere wasn't completely new to them, especially with how quickly joel drops the subject, and how preplanned niko's words and tone feel. the songs on this album also seem as if they really were not written to joel's strengths, and the uneven divide of lines is just weird. when niko says "rap always has more lines" it seems pretty valid, however when you think about it, niko has had more lines on songs from previous albums, taking Another Sun as an example, yet it still doesn't feel as so much of an uneven divide. it's not as if joel does this too, either, as i do not think i can name as many instances where he would have more vocals (in Balboa he does but apart from that theres nothing i can think of off of the top of my head where ive thought that niko seems weirdly like more of a backing singer, unlike with joel).

at a certain point it felt as if he was simply a selling point for the band, as someone who is undeniably good looking (not saying the others arent by the way as that would be a flatout LIE), has a massive hand in running social media AND having a great understanding of how it works and how to portray himself in it to get the most engagement, it would be no surprise if it was in fact this way.

he was trying his hardest despite his health situation, and pulling himself together in certain situations was simply not possible. i understand the band's annoyance at this in certain situations, however he literally could not control it. the band meant everything to him from the moment he founded it and i don't believe he would leave on a hiatus if he had literally no choice, which is why i don't think that the causes mentioned in the instagram post are anywhere near the full story. he always involved himself in the creative processes (writing, recording, producing) of each song as much as he personally could, and you could see the very essence of the band will not be the same without him.

there was many situations when i felt an annoyance radiating from the others, which they always tried to keep down, at the fact that joel can be too much sometimes. it feels like they just want him to pull himself together, in a way, and act like a "normal adult" which is something that could be almost impossible for joel as someone with mental issues that would stand in his way of doing that. it always felt like they gave up on being understanding too quickly, especially niko, because they felt like there simply wasn't time to deal with something any neurotypicals would view as arbitrarily insufficient and lamentable. it feels as if no one was willing to understand him without him getting a grip on life first, which isn't easily done when his whole life has been dedicated to the band for so long that he's unable to all of a sudden be able to understand his own brain and how to control it enough to be a convenient person to be around for the others. in reality he just seems like someone who is in need of extensive comfort, and after being told he's too much for so much of his life he needs to be told it'll be okay, not to tone it down. he's spoken about being expected to act tough because of his appearance, and he genuinely seems in need of someone to simply care for him.

do i think this is the end of blind channel? no of course not. this isn't some situation where the whole band will fall apart, nor do i think joel leaving was surprising whatsoever, however the timing of it was uncanny enough for me think that something probably unpleasant happened behind the scenes, and there was simply a massive role played by his health and creative differences, which is why they have been used as reasoning, however i think that they cannot be the sole cause of him leaving so soon. i think that he would have left for those reasons at some point, but just not at a time like this.

it has left me very bitter because it was something he was so passionate for, and no matter the cause it's so fucking unfair on him that he has been driven out of a large part of his life which he had such a love for. although he seems happy now, he also seems like the sort of person to struggle with such change, no matter how hard he might try to hide it, and i just hope he can cope with leaving it all behind. hopefully media and radio will be a much better and healthier thing for him. i'm absolutely devastated that i never had the chance to see him sing live, and will forever hate that everything could have gone so much smoother for him, however i'm excited to see how this new chapter of his life will play out and hope he has a better time in the future than he did in the previous years.

and no disrespect to the band either, i can't wait to see what new things they'll come out with together after the hiatus and individually during it.