brainmaelstrom - Tumblr blog

[brainmaelstrom]

within two weeks I dropped from 154 to 140 maybe manifestation is real

[brainmaelstrom]

Can someone please tell me I'm not worthless and I DO deserve to exist and everything horrible isn't my fault and that me having bad days isn't ruining people's lives because my partner sure isn't telling me these things :')

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Ive lost my chance

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Me not talking about what upsetse: bad

Me talking about what upsets me: also bad

They're gonna be mad at me either way why the fuck do I bother

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Every time someone tells me how bad their mental illness or disability is my brain is like 'that's it! You never get to complain again! Feeling bad makes you a bad person! You're not ACTUALLY struggling!'

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"Tbh I dont listen to what you say" is a phrase i've actually heard all of my friends say in regards to me talking about my interests

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my fiance will always prioritize their eating disorder over me. They have stated multiple times their ed is a choice. They choose to prioritize it over me.

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Watching someone slowly kill themselves and knowing there's nothing you can do to stop them is the worst feeling in the world

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"I dont think I should have to get better if I dont want to"

No. You dont. But if Im putting in all this fucking effort and money to do therapy and stay on my meds and be better what makes you think its fair that you get to sit there and just let yourself wallow in depression and self loathing and then take it out on me? Yell at me bitch at me call me names and then make the excuse that 'its your mental illness'

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Google how do I tell my fiance their eating disorder is making my eating disorder (which they don't know I have) worse

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When youre so busy trying to make sure they dont kill themself you forget you wanted to kill yourself

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I'm have a platonic crush on my best friend.

Sky is my everything she is a reason to keep going she keeps me sane and I keep her sane and we would rule the world together and stick it to everyone who's ever wronged us.

My best friend has a platonic crush on me.

Im Sky's anchor, I calm her down, I share her joy, I bounce off her hyperactivity and we find so much happiness in each other.

Sky wants a qpp

I do too

My fiance and I are poly

But they don't like Skye.

[brainmaelstrom]

Family vacations used to be fun but now I just get to see how much my sistser has lost herself to drugs how much guilt and depression has worn down my mom and how disappointed in me my dad is and somehow all of it is my fault

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Haha

My skin broke out so badly from binging I want to die

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Breakfast one triscuit cracker and black coffee

Lunch monster zero

Im so good at this lmao

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Goal is to fit into these jeans I got that have always been too small

[brainmaelstrom]

This is a joke right

They took the batteries out of my scale