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what are your special interests?

this is difficult to answer. don't have awareness of myself or reliable memory to just easily make a list.

i don't always know what "counts" as special interest. it is hard to understand labels like that and what it actually means. i only know my own experiences with very very restricted and intense interests (which is difficult and disabling, even if i can also get intense joy from it).

my experiences with restricted intense interests is different from how i see many people talk about it. can't fully describe my inside brain experiences though. wish i could. can only explain what i can borrow words for. (and always so much worry that i write things i don't mean and can't know because i can't understand when i read back what i write).

also it is like listing parts of myself. feels vulnerable and scary. also because special interests are not only positive things for me - they also cause a lot of distress, often from tiny things. high level emotions at both ends of the scale.

and even positive emotions from special interests get so so strong that it is distressing and overwhelming. i have had meltdowns because i get too excited about special interest.

sharing special interests with people is not something i do for enjoyment. if i ever did it, it was mostly probably because feel a compulsion to, cannot engage with anything else. or feels painful to try move attention/focus to anything else.

i am so so sensitive to other people's reaction/response to special interests/restricted intense interests. if someone else say they don't like it (personal opinion), that causes meltdown/shutdown and extreme distress.

i have to be super careful about interacting with these things online (although also can't be careful - not on my own - because feel strong compulsion to consume any and everything related to it that i can find). the tiniest things can set me off and make me super upset and anxious and angry and aggressive. so sharing a list on tumblr of these topics is scary because i worry that it will lead to more of those situations.

and all of this ^ is only the tiniest sliver of the ways that restricted intense interests is very much disabling to me. this is a part of autism that heavily affects me my whole life. with many negative consequences.

anyway. over weeks/months, i made this list. to put in my pinned post for when i edit it (still not edited it to add yet).

i will copy that into this post:

BBC Merlin (& Arthuriana)

Pentatonix (especially Mitch Grassi)

Marina (previously called Marina & the Diamonds)

Lisa Lambe & Celtic Woman

Clarinet

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Reading

this is not in order of time. these come at different ages. once i get a special interest, it never goes away, only goes up and down in intensity of what is in the main focus at current time. they are a part of me. and the lens through which i view the rest of the world.

wow, i really can't seem to answer any question without huge ramble!! apologies.

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tutorial for drawing characters with Down syndrome!

DISCLAIMER... please keep in mind that this is an introductory drawing tutorial and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. it's more of an overview of features that are common in people with Down syndrome, not meaning to imply that every person with DS has all of them 👍👍 thanks

if you draw any characters using this feel free to tag me!!

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I saw your post about how older aac devices interested you, the Delta Talkers, Handivoices, the Lightwriters—I hadn’t even heard of these, and am really only familiar with aac in the form of a picture board or an ipad. I’ve seen a few where you press a button and it says that word/phrase out loud as a lower but not low tech option, but mentioning these older devices makes me curious how they work, how they compare to the newer ipad ones, if there were any that are extra cool? Do people still use them? I love learning about aac, so thank you for answering my first ask!

Oh yes! There's many many older AAC devices out there from before a lot of companies standardized and copyrighted their language systems, and even more various letter and word board designs. The first standardized letter board was from 1920, the F. Hall Roe Communication Board, developed by F. Hall Roe, a man with cerebral palsy!

As for electronic AAC devices this is an article from 2002 that goes into the history:

I found information about some older devices like Delta Talkers by doing some googling about Aug Comm history and reading archived catalogues and then researching the devices mentioned. There's still many documentation online. Here's an operations manual for a Delta Talker!

Another place I learned more about older devices is, actually, eBay haha. It's often the only place I've seen high quality pictures of certain devices!

Many older AAC devices are essentially portable computers with or without screens and worked by entering combinations of button presses to get certain words, kind of like a stenographers keyboard.

The buttons can be regular buttons, but also capacitive ones that react to touch and don't need to be pressed. There's also "switch scanning" versions of these, where audio or visual feedback(usually an indicator light) would tell the user what selections were active as it scanned through the options automatically, the user would then press a button or several to choose their selection. There's also systems for people unable to press buttons, such as sensors on the buttons that would then be activated by a head-mounted laser or light. (Think old light gun games, similar technology!) And much more!

Devices using the Unity/Minspeak language system, which you may have seen mentioned around AAC spaces since LAMP WFL is based on it, were largely all used in this way until touch screens became common.

The Minspeak Youtube channel has lots of videos of people using older Minspeak devices, particularly late 90's and early to mid 00's.

Here's an informational video from I believe the 70's 80's about how Minspeak can be used:

Lightwriters are a keyboard based AAC device by Abilia that works by typing regularly on a QWERTY keyboard. These came about in the 90's and work for those with good fine motor control and spelling. They still make Lightwriters today! The newest model is the Lightwriter SL50 I believe.

While I'm sure there are some people out there using very old devices today, many are hard/impossible to repair if damaged and are very bulky and heavy, with poor audio quality and battery life. The lifespan for robust, dedicated medical grade AAC devices can be 5-10 years if well taken care of, many people are using Tobii and PRC devices from the mid 2010's still.

Thanks for the asks! 😄Hope you don't mind me answering publicly, I thought others might find this interesting as well.

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when speech stuff & science stuff & medical stuff & professionals say “spoken language” sometimes wonder if actually do mean spoken language (as in like. speak through mouth) or like. communicate through words language (which include write n type n of course AAC). like always wonder where people like me land who nonverbal but can communicate via AAC & write. who have more ability thus at better place than people who can’t words language at all. but still quite different quite disadvantage don’t have ability like speaking verbal people. like do they know people who not speak but can communicate via words exist or

like sometimes it’s about all words language expressive communicating. n other times it just spoken mouth words. bc different. but with how medical stuff talk about it sometimes just don’t know. n you’d think verbal speaking people would specify bc they write n stuff too

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keep get lot of “even though am only low support needs / only level 1 / verbal / etc… struggle a lot with autism…” n with either implied or explicitly said “not as bad as higher support needs / higher level / etc” “can’t imagine what it like for [ ]”

n as higher support need level 2/3 nonverbal autistic, want say:

yes of course be aware we exist n sometimes face extra stuff extra struggle extra ableism advocate with us be aware of experiences you may not have but

you all have just as much claim to autism & autism as disability as us

don’t need tiptoe around us

low support needs is support needs & level 1 autism is autism is disability. n struggle around that is true struggle valid struggle

don’t need be higher support needs level 2&3 semiverbal nonverbal severe autism etc to be struggle

compulsive anxiety of Must Make Sure Am Not Speak Over so say “even though only 1/LSN”, overly done, actually can feed into idea that only HrSN 2/3 struggle true struggle valid struggle n LSN level 1 not struggle enough not valid enough n so if struggle, must be HrSN 2/3. it actually water down downplay all amounts of support low/medium/high/everything in between, downplay all levels of autism 1 2 & 3

last thing want see is you all downplay self for so long n burn out n backfire, “what about me? why only about HSN level 3 nonverbal people?” n swing other way - this harm all autistics, you n us

confidently say “am low support needs autism n i struggle” “am level 1 autistic n i struggle” actually best way help all autistics, both you n me

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keep get lot of “even though am only low support needs / only level 1 / verbal / etc… struggle a lot with autism…” n with either implied or explicitly said “not as bad as higher support needs / higher level / etc” “can’t imagine what it like for [ ]”

n as higher support need level 2/3 nonverbal autistic, want say:

yes of course be aware we exist n sometimes face extra stuff extra struggle extra ableism advocate with us be aware of experiences you may not have but

you all have just as much claim to autism & autism as disability as us

don’t need tiptoe around us

low support needs is support needs & level 1 autism is autism is disability. n struggle around that is true struggle valid struggle

don’t need be higher support needs level 2&3 semiverbal nonverbal severe autism etc to be struggle

compulsive anxiety of Must Make Sure Am Not Speak Over so say “even though only 1/LSN”, overly done, actually can feed into idea that only HrSN 2/3 struggle true struggle valid struggle n LSN level 1 not struggle enough not valid enough n so if struggle, must be HrSN 2/3. it actually water down downplay all amounts of support low/medium/high/everything in between, downplay all levels of autism 1 2 & 3

last thing want see is you all downplay self for so long n burn out n backfire, “what about me? why only about HSN level 3 nonverbal people?” n swing other way - this harm all autistics, you n us

confidently say “am low support needs autism n i struggle” “am level 1 autistic n i struggle” actually best way help all autistics, both you n me

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"I care about Autistic people! There's too many people faking having Autism to be quirky when actually it's a serious disability that stops you doing a lot of things, including reading and therefore being able to be online to talk about how Autistic uwu you are! It's my duty to call out when something is not ACTUALLY an Autistic thing so people stop misdiagnosing themselves as Autistic and ruining people's understanding and acceptance of Actually Autistic people and their families!" <- only views level 3 Autistics as valid and doesn't really see Autistic people as people. Also doesn't understand the concept of 'a spectrum' and how some behaviours done by allistics doesn't mean they're not Autistic behaviours too or that Autistics will engage in common behaviours in a way uniquely influenced by their Autism. Is actively gatekeeping people away from finding out their difficulties are related to being Autistic due to also believing that Autistic people can't be proud to be Autistic and like to joke and have fun about it. Is functionally just an ableist.

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hey now that it’s disability pride month can you please remember to include people with Down syndrome and other chromosomal defects into your activism. they’re so often left behind. I literally never see anyone spreading Down syndrome awareness that isn’t close family of someone with Down syndrome. They exist and they’re living breathing humans who deserve just as much activism as every other disabled person

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all right fuck it, i can't find a community anywhere so i guess i have to make one.

here's my discord server for disabled people who have caregivers, whether family or friends or partners or paid staff or in an institution.

please reblog this. disabled people with caregivers desperately need a space to talk about navigating these complicated and often fraught relationships. there's infinite spaces for caregivers to talk about their experiences with each other. and that's good, they need that. and so do we.

this is a public server in the sense that any disabled person with caregivers can join. but there will be a degree of privacy because people won't be able to see all the channels until they are manually approved. also, i will try and implement something I've seen in another server, which is the ability to post anonymously.

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wish people actually respect me respect my decision respect my identity when say am nonverbal not nonspeaking.

[plain text: wish people actually respect me respect my decision respect my identity when say am nonverbal not nonspeaking.]

there this idea keep float around about how nonverbal & nonspeaking mean different things. how nonverbal = without words cannot communicate with words at all, & nonspeaking = not speak via mouth. know where it came from where it extrapolate from, but also don’t know where it came from.

because that not really true.

medical people use nonverbal. while nonspeaking coined by community of people (often autistic people who not speak from severe motor apraxia not from language communication or intellectual disability) who not speak via mouth.

in past & still now, but especially past, medical people assume cannot talk via mouth always = cannot think cannot understand, that not talk via mouth always mean have nothing to say. so they treat people who do not talk via mouth bad (because they treat people who cannot understand & people w intellectual disability bad). n because medical people use nonverbal, somehow somewhere became “nonverbal” is why think cannot think cannot understand.

but is assumption about all people who not talk via mouth. not about term nonverbal. nonverbal just tool. if use any other word, would still hold same assumption. if since very beginning used nonspeaking, but still have same assumption that not talk via mouth always = not think not understand, nothing would be different.

this assumption lead people who not talk via mouth be denied education. be denied help. because they think people not talk via mouth cannot understand. n they think people who cannot understand not deserve education or help. thus people who not talk via mouth also not deserve education or help.

so many people who not talk via mouth but can understand can use words fight back. hey we can understand can learn can communicate in other ways can use words. n because medical people use nonverbal when describe their assumption, some of them also fight back against term nonverbal. maybe they can’t separate term used from assumption because it so tangle together. so they say they not nonverbal they nonspeaking. okay.

except some of them fight back against assumption by saying, they deserve education deserve help because they intelligent. because their “mind intact”. because they can write complex grammar correct just like everyone else, as long as with proper help. because all that ability they deserve help.

but what about those who not intelligent by their standards by doctor standards, who have intellectual disability, who mind “not intact” (whatever that means?), who even with best help cannot write communicate complex & grammar correct? this punch down advocacy, leaving people behind advocacy, throw people under bus advocacy, am very uncomfortable by. find it dangerous.

many people who do this also call self nonspeaking, reject nonverbal.

but still, know is fault of people (some who happen call self nonspeaking) themselves, not inherent term “nonspeaking” fault.

n yes, because seen so many people who call self nonspeaking hold this idea, even tie their intelligence their language abilities as reason why they nonspeaking not nonverbal, am often on guard nervous when meet people who call self nonspeaking n strongly refuse nonverbal.

n because disability really affect cognitive, & my language communication disability exist n visible even with best communication support, simply don’t feel like nonspeaking & nonspeaking community represent me. so personally, am not nonspeaking.

still, not get to tell others, you’re not nonspeaking. or that term nonspeaking make me uncomfortable so people not allow call self that, that it wrong term wrong definition.

same reverse. okay, because your past you get nervous n upset about term nonverbal n struggle separate term from everything else. so don’t call self nonverbal call self nonspeaking. but still, you still not get tell me how should call self. because nonverbal not actual mean that, as explained above.

am respect people call self nonspeaking. not going tell you you not nonspeaking. not going tell you that community you ally for advocating with, they not nonspeaking. just wish had same respect extent to me.

respect that for you or someone you know, them writing spelling typing is be verbal. wish got same respect for me, that my AAC is me speaking.

have been attacked n harassed n bullied for call self nonverbal. be denied community for call self nonverbal instead of “more appropriate” nonspeaking. have been called fake n all sorts of names n bad things n be told am not nonverbal bc other people know better than me. used to be okay with both terms, but pushed by harassment n bullying to go opposite direction, “actually. am nonverbal. only nonverbal. fuck you.” be done by speaking people. by nonspeaking people. don’t know which group more insulting to receive from.

feel betrayed by the people who say this who also cannot speak via mouth. we so similar yet we so different, n you deny my existence when am trying so hard make sure both us get express our different self.

feel… don’t even know how feel, about speaking people with more communication abilities communication privilege, cognitive abilities & privilege, overall more abilities n less support needs n more privilege, benefiting from all that while argue over me about personal experience how personal call self, who struggle even be aware of feeling n ideas n then communicate basic ideas in back n forth conversations.

it truly such huge MACRO aggression for other people tell me, someone who actually can’t talk via mouth, that am wrong about what say about self. to tell someone with cognitive issues that they know abt me better than me. as if there isn’t already extensive history of people do this to people like me.

call self nonverbal not mean think be deny education deny help all your trauma okay. call self nonspeaking not mean less ableist better advocate for people who not talk via mouth (which include people with ID & communication difficulties not just mouth speech). people who call self nonverbal not your trauma, people who call self nonspeaking not automatic free of ableism.

let me be. include me in your advocacy. not your punching bag. not your ladder to discard behind while you climb for your rights.

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✦ magical thinking           paranoid ✧ ✦ mind fog

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I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

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yea yea yea of course care about those misdiagnosed with ID n so not given appropriate education not given appropriate communication support treated like “stupid” like can’t learn not presumed competence kicked out from therapy given up by educators n speech OT PT even behavioral therapists daycare classrooms schools. yes care about them don’t stop

but my dear god please also care about those with intellectual disability. care about those whose ID diagnosis real n right n true. care about nonverbal nonspeaking ppl w ID who not secret little geniuses inside

care about those with borderline intellectual functioning/borderline ID

care about those with mild ID

care about those with moderate ID

care about those with severe ID

care about those with profound ID

like. you all realize ppl misdiagnosed as ID treated like this seen like this is because ppl with correctly diagnosed ID treated like this seen like this right.

like people misdiagnosed as ID not give education or help or proper therapy get kicked out of all these things because ppl think people with ID not deserve those things so not actually have to try teach them educate them help them don’t see as educatable that their life can be better that better life for them worth fighting for. don’t bother learn how help them how actual do child/patient/client-led think all people w ID one size fit all n so kick ppl w ID out of therapy speech OT PT because not educatable because extreme behaviors then get kicked out of behavioral therapy for too extreme behaviors

because if they actually trying help people with ID if they actually trying all different ways support ppl w ID all different way try teach them life skills AND knowledge and communication skills genuinely try understand individual ppl with ID as individual. they’ll notice hey hmm. once we find right way this person suddenly learning thing faster more advanced than typical ppl w their diagnosis. hmm maybe we wrong about ID

idk shocking right things interconnected mild blown

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Autistic people experience psychosis at a higher rate than the general population. And people with schizo spec disorders are likely to have strong autistic traits even long before they develop psychosis. On top of this, both diagnoses have a big general overlap in traits and experiences. And that's why I think we need to discuss "auschizm" just like we've started discussing auDHD

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hey google

how to pause bpd

bpd off switch

how to take a break from bpd

bpd can stop happen ??

will being more gay make the bpd go away ??

how to use a french press

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I will only say this one fucking time.

Learning disabilities, are not the same as intellectual disability.

Learning disabilities also called learning difficulties in the UK, are things like dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia.

Intellectual disability and learning disability (which is what ID is called in the UK) (NOT DISABILITIES. THEY ARE NOT PLURAL) are a singular thing. They are a singular disability that means you have an IQ of 70 or lower. That is all.