Finished AITSF Nirvana initiative and of course I have to draw my girls Mizuki and Tama! I haven’t had much time or energy to draw lately so I’m very much trying to regain my groove and it’s hard.
Please reblog this if it’s okay for me to just pop into your ask box to RP with you even if you haven’t reblogged a meme because I just want to RP with you
Do you ever become desensitized to your own trauma?? Like you’ve been dealing with it for so long that when you accidentally let it slip out in conversation and the persons like “um oh my god?” You’re like wow I forgot my life has been one unspeakable horror after another #noted
I LOVE. having multiple threads with my rp partners !! it’s like on some days i feel like writing long stuff, on others i feel more like writing short stuff, sometimes i’d rather write some intense situations, and other times i’m more in the mood for lighthearted topics. having several different types of threads with a person enables me to keep rping with them even if i’m stuck @ a reply for another thread we’re having !! it’s great, honestly !? if you wanna have 1 more thread or 20 more threads /w me that’s 10/10 👌👌👌👌 just write that starter or send an ic ask & we’ll go from there or hmu for plotting k man i love threads i love writing all the things
This is kind of a post all over the place , but I think it boils down to that I'm going through a lot of depression . It's hard enough to get through the week and do responsibilities, but socializing and reaching out is...hard right now . Generally, and this is just probably part of the 'seasonal depression / winter depression' that I imagine a lot of you can relate to and I'm sorry if you're having it too !
But for me, it manifests generally as this inability of expressing how much pain I'm in chats, texts, hanging out with others offline or -- or not feeling like I'm not contributing in servers, chats here, that are just as special to me!, and how lonely I feel, even when surrounded by others.
Like....when I'm like this I feel like I have nothing to offer and it's...embarrassing to type that. I'm not writing it for sympathy, so please don't feel you need to say anything that isn't what it's for. It's.. it's just probably why those of you that have me on discord haven't heard much of me. I don't wanna 'infect' my conversations with all this. Please don't think I'm ignoring you.
I'm slow on my Discord messages because I don't want to bother anyone or be seen like that. How...there's just this sense of 'un-belonging ' I feel no matter what I do.
Usually I'm pretty confident and outgoing but I just...don't have it? I'm sad and I feel pretty empty and by myself people around or not. So that's likely why I'm static on discord messages, and also other issues in my life are kind of making that depression more painful for me.
So I'll mostly try to bury myself in writing and things I owe from last year / pick and keep while seeing if I can even get to a place mentally that is better to interact with others. And for those of you who are struggling with valid and understandable things in the New Year, I really hope you feel better soon too.
Thanks for your patience, on here and on Discord. :')
as much as i adore mizuki's english va, something about tomoyo kurosawa hits so well for both her as a child and grown up. the way she sounds in the hospital at twelve, not only insanely strong physically but so strong emotionally, finally breaking down like a child that she never got to be ( scene is right here )
to mizuki as a confident teenager, all grown up and ready to face the world, despite going through and continuing to go through more hell since well, she was born but ever facing it with a grin or steely resolution. ( example right here ) . it gives her a soft, pretty but fierce undertone voice, but at the same time a roughness to it, in between pleasant and sweet, but full of bite and unflinching fearlessness / determination all at once.
also sounds hilarious when she's teasing and taking no bs from someone. which, is quite often ! i highly recommend it because i've really fallen in love with kurosawa as mizuki too ! also hearing mizuki cry as kurosawa is heartbreaking because mizuki doesn't cry unless you actually do her route in aitsf and let me tell you it's enough for me, personally, to choke up in either language, it's just that good.