breakingbutch

[breakingbutch]

Hey all!!

I know it's a common story, but my girlfriend's @biichimonroe and @corpsegoddessnova are in some dire straits and could use some help.

It says it all in the page itself, but to sum up they've just gotten Ryne out of an abusive situation and need help getting their gas back on. Things like showering, cooking, are impossible without it....

I know everyone's struggling- any small amount helps, every reblog helps. Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this, it really does mean the world to me and those i love 💗💗💗

[breakingbutch]

is this anything

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i think transfems share an innate connection to lesbianism that afabs can't imitiate.

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I think pretty privilege having a 'dark side' is too easy of a concept to use to disregard a valid critique made of you by someone who you believe yourself to be more attractive than. ur not lonely cause you're soo hot. ur lonely cause ur a bitch lol. everybody is isolated and you want to act like it's their fault.

I don't doubt that people are rude to people, and I get angry when I see someone hotter than me on a bad day Sometimes, but you really cannot make me believe that every instance where a 'pretty girl' assumes someone is being rude to her is because of her looks and how much better she is than everyone. and it would be ridiculous to argue that it's privileges outweigh it's benefits.

people will target you for assault because you're pretty ueah sure whatever, people target 'unattractive' people because they know they are less likely to be believed and you know which one is worse

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As many posts you see talking about the problems trans women face, never forget that it has been worth it. Every trans women i’ve talked to has said they wouldnt reverse their decision to start hormones or get surgery or whatever. Its worth it. I feel so much better about myself generally. I didnt think tjat would happen. You expect nothing to change. You expect to keep being the same depressed boy with no light. But genuinely hrt has added a brilliance to my life i never thought possible. I used to think it would be the same bleak shit. But it isnt. Everything is in color now. Just dont die wondering, ok?

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it's all so tiresome

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one thing tumblr has unironically done to improve my mental health is completely rewrite how i view disgust as a concept. there is no higher compliment to me than being told i have something wrong with me and should be ashamed of myself when i'm just living my life in a way that is perhaps odd and hard to understand, but ultimately as harmless as you can get in our society. which probably wasn't the intention of all the advice i got in therapy to reframe my negative thought patterns as more positive ones, but it's doing great things for me.

[breakingbutch]

we can't stay here

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guy in the museum walking around shivering and thinking about eating the paintings like he's in the frozen food aisle

guy in the frozen food aisle walking around with his hands behind his back like he's at a museum

[breakingbutch]

Alejandra Pizarnik, tr. by Yvette Siegert, from The Most Foreign Country; “I am…”

[Text ID: “my wings? / two rotting petals”]

[breakingbutch]

the masters of the house hardly enter the maids quarters so they continue their ceaseless celebration without notice of the rapid decline in caretaking of the space, producing more and more filth and further angering and empowering the creature they now live in, having the audacity to sleep in its bed chambers full of strewn clothes that could so easily slither up around their necks while they slumber

maid girl that remains in sleep mode all the time because seeing the size of the mess makes her anxious and uses up more energy but it means she has even less time to keep up with everyone's chores so she cuts instead of doing any actual work and it makes things worse actually because now the beds a mess and at this point she should probably-

oh.

oh no.

there she goes.

[breakingbutch]

moments of euphoria are found when one's desired self becomes manifest in the perceived self

moments of agony are found when ones feared self becomes manifest in the perceived self

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I have female hysteria AND male loneliness

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in the diving bell and the butterfly, we see a person with locked in syndrome thirst after "young flesh" or some shit, i expect the typical public reaction is to be very averse to this, see it as pervy and disgusting

in elephant man, we see someone desperate for love and affection, someone desperate to be beautiful, who writes long letters of affection to beautiful women, and again, public reaction is typically pretty averse

while much of this might be cloaked in pity, the illusion disappears when confronted with, like "what if you were on the receiving end" where at most are so overcome with disgust that they reject the notion all together

we can all pretty much universally agree that people deserve to be loved, to be cared for. many of us, though we might not recognize it, believe we have a right to sex and intimacy through merit of the need for it alone. do these "untouchable" individuals not have this same right? or do none of us?

in fight club, at one of the support groups, an individual with cancer begs for this intimacy and it is played off as a morbid joke, the way she grows closer to the mic as she lists the items she has to make sex more accessible, causing feedback, the way she's suddenly cut off by the leader of the event calling for everybody to thank her as she is guided off stage

whats that one quote from wounded storyteller? hold on its in my grindr i send it to random men all the time when they sexualize me, "wwhoever among us has learned through personal experience what pain aand anxiety really are must help to ensure that those out there who are in physical need obtain that same help that once came to him. he no longer belongs to himself alone. he has become the brother of all who suffer. it is this "brotherhood of those who bear the mark of pain" that demands humane medical services"

i have hurt in the same way, i cannot bear to see them suffer their whole lives alone

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okay so safe poses a lot a questioins of "how well do doctors really know our bodies" and "how well do we know our own bodies, and how well can we communicate to others what is happening" and "does it matter if no one will listen"

when i first became disabled, i had a severe spike in ocd. i was terrified that some symptom i was experiencing would mean something major that might go unnoticed if i don't examine myself enough. i sought answers and comfort frequently and often never found any.

in recent years, this anxiety has eased greatly. i now pay next to no attention to my health. this is probably not healthy, in the purest sense of the word, but it is what i am capable of right now, its what i need to do to get through what is happening.

i thought for a long time that if i learned everything i could, i'd avoid appearing like julianne moores character in safe when she visits the doctor, unsure and easy to speak over, easy to shrug off. but any sort of expertise in any area looks like crazed desperation for a perscription or a label to a doctor when they believe they are sole vanguards of all health knowledge and all others are fed rampant misinformation