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[breatheeasyart]

6-21-22

Today has been pretty good. My runs have been consistent, though my shoes are about to start falling off the seams. I need to work more on my artwork-- get some small drawings out there to keep myself busy. I find myself going to the extremes in terms of my artwork, trying to make huge projects that show how talented and sophisticated my style is.

Simpler is much better- plus it's much easier for me. Add the fact that I'm not all that great at perspective and foreshortening, I need to spend more time practicing it before trying to create polished projects with those techniques-- the end product upsets me more than it needs to.

It's interesting how that works, isn't it? I notice it a lot in boxing-- catering to a fighter's ego. Fighters may have the potential to be world class athletes, but that doesn't mean they're put up against high level opponents right away. They take their time, learning techniques while tackling low level opponents to see those techniques in practice. It shields them from how vulnerable they are, which in turns leaves them more confident to attempt more difficult techniques. I need to put this into practice, start off with the ismple porjects, show myself that I'm capable of the fundamentals-- slowly building myself up into where I want to be.

B. Easy.

[breatheeasyart]

6-20-22

Though I've only made two posts thus far, I've spent several days wondering exactly what I plan to do with this page. I know I want it to be a journal--obviously-- but I wasn't sure what sort of content I want to post.

I'm finally starting to figure it out though. Get this-- I'm going to talk about the feelings I'e had throughout the day. Crazy thought, isn't it? A real eureka moment for me. I think what I really mean, is that I understand the point of a journal. Of course, you're supposed to write about your day so far, but more specifically, you're supposed to write about events and how they made you feel-- and whether you want to experience them again or not; what you would do different if you could. Anyway, time to get into it.

--

Today went surprisingly well. When I look back on today, the first thing that boosted my mood was the fact I woke up at ~945am. Considering I usually wake up at 1pm due to my night owl schedule, I was pleasantly surprised to wake up during the morning time-- well rested no less. No dreams tonight, but I'm sure my brain was working over time.

I finally made some progress on my art work. As it turns out, burdening myself with these marathon 3 to 4 hour drawing sessions isn't very good for my brain chemistry. I really only need about 15 minutes at a time to get things going. In truth, I think I've been desensitized to how long 15 minutes actually is. I managed to completely one piece of art, and draw two decently polished sketches over the course of three fifteen minute sessions. Furthermore, I feel like the day was extremely productive, even if I spent much of it watching 'Better Call Saul'. Fantastic show by the way, I really hope that some friends in my circle settle down long enough to watch it.

--

I'e noticed myself enjoying ideas that my girlfriends offers-- ideas that I previously shut down as silly or not very good. I hate that I did it, especially considering I'm just as creative and eccentric as they are. I need to work on building up their ideas more, it would be nice for them to hear that they aren't being silly sometimes. I don't know why it's hard for me to be supportive, not just to them but in general.

=

The housing situation has been pretty good too. The house is mostly clean for when my girlfriend will come down, though I'm a little uncertain about the relationship I have with one of my roommates. It feels divided for some reason. Perhaps it's my fault? Theirs? I can't be quite certain.In truth, the friendship is no different than any of the others I have in the house-- though perhaps that's why it's so odd. We've known each other for over a decade now and it doesn't feel any more or less friendly. In retrospect it's not worth dwelling on much, if it's ever a problem I'm sure it'll get addressed at some point.

--

Father's Day was yesterday. I indifferent to the holiday. My feelings baout my father always seem to bounce back and forth between 'apologetically nice' to ''melancholy'. It doesn't feel like it's a relationship that'll ever get solved. In part, it's because I'm not really sure if it's my mother or my father who's at fault for how things turned out. I really don't seem to have either of them in an intimate manner. Life feels like it's about monetary progress or accolades more than it is about family-- not to say that the latter attributes are bad things... I want those things too. I just don't know how I wish to go about it. Art is my obvious choice-- but will it really make them proud? Does it really matter if I love art anyway? I suppose it doesn't.

A part of me just wants a group that I can enjoy these holidays with my own way-- hell, perhaps we can make our own holidays to celebrate; that would be nice.

-B Easy.

[breatheeasyart]

Hello.

This is Breathe Easy. If you're looking at this post you either stumbled on it by random (how'd you manage that, by the way?), or clicked on one of my various links to this page. Here is where I post some of my thoughts, whether it be about upcoming projects, art in general, or the political space (very rarely the political space).