breewgrapes

[breewgrapes]

You say sorry for show, If you live like that, you live with ghosts

[breewgrapes]

"Disregard the world, and run to see what you know is real"

- Take a chance with me by Niki

Despite the fact that this song is about love and crushes. It reminds me of life today, I only see people uses their phone and scroll in tiktok and reels as if their world is in the phone, i'm one of them. It made me wonder what would life feel like if I disappear and stop using social medias for a while?

Few weeks ago, I deactivated my accounts on instagram, twitter, tiktok, and even deleted the app. I can say that it was a good decision that I made. I only get to socialize with people that I see in real life and not with people I see on social medias. I gain more confidence in talking to people, and taking pictures without having a pressure to post it online. I don't even have to worry about what people might say. I had more time writing, painting, and reading books. Discovering things that I missed out, and exploring hobbies. There are times when I get bored, but this serves as an evidence that my life is peaceful. This is the peaceful life. The freedom I've been wanting to have. I explored places like cafes alone—I may look pathetic and friendless but being alone just made me realize so many things and see what the real world is supposed to look like.

[breewgrapes]

“Palestinian men are literally fasting so that their families can eat and drink of what little they have.They're the ones digging through the rubble to find their neighbors and their loved ones and carrying broken bodies on their backs. They equally deserve respect and compassion and are totally left out of the narrative. Enough of "Women and Children" only frameworks. Scream for the men of Palestine too!!They're our dads and brothers and uncles and grandpas and friends, they are Press/Journalist and Photographers who've been trying their best to show us what is truly happening inside "Palestine" They deserve love too. They deserve to be mourned. Both men, women and Children deserve to be mourned!!!”

credit / unknown

[breewgrapes]

[breewgrapes]

Now it is cool and damp. The earth has a troubling smell of the grave.

Olga Tokarczuk, The Books of Jacob, tr. Jennifer Croft

[breewgrapes]

well, the truth is, i'm still in my reputation era, that means i still value myself over anyone, I know my worth.

[breewgrapes]

“October is nature’s funeral month. Nature glories in death more than in life. The month of departure is more beautiful than the month of coming–October than May. Every green thing loves to die in bright colors.”

— Henry Ward Beecher 

[breewgrapes]

I still don't understand why people do things they hate just because they like someone else, you can still be in loved and do things what you love.

[breewgrapes]

How presumptuous is the gift of life? What arrogance is implicit in the act of love that calls another into existence?

Jacqueline Holland, from 'The God of Endings'

[breewgrapes]

the language of the unsaid.

Anne Carson, Glass, Irony, and God; from ‘The Glass Essay’

[breewgrapes]

Siena, Italy (by Pedro Lastra)

[breewgrapes]

Fyodor Dostoevsky

[breewgrapes]

[breewgrapes]

my current academic life is very exhausting and mentally draining, it's not because I have so much activities in my 'to do' list but because the study technique that really works during my junior high school years doesn't even work now. Now I need to come up with a new study technique that could make things work which is very time consuming, especially if I'm currently dealing with overload information, I just can't do it. I really tried to do new study techniques that are recommended somewhere in the internet but nothing works, I study more hours than sleeping everyday but it seems like it isn't enough.

[breewgrapes]

>>>>>>

[breewgrapes]

I honestly don't like it when people gives you signs, or clues instead of telling it to you directly, I just don't feel like assuming things lately, I don't have enough energy to do so.

[breewgrapes]

you just know you've been choosing yourself well over anything lately when it starts to feel boring.