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brenw376 · 22 days

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THIS will forever be my favorite fic & i’ve read a lot of fanfiction🙂‍↔️

about a girl

carmy berzatto x reader (no use of y/n)

warnings: mutual pining, friends with benefits, bdsm dom/sub undertones (some much needed dom! carmen), implied age gap, dirty talk, choking, masturbation, lots of lewd thoughts

wc: 3.8k

a/n: getting excited for season 2 & decided to write a fic for the first time!! staring everyone’s husband & a newer employee at the bear. lots of mutual pining and tension. this was done in a mad frenzy on my phone so i apologize about lack of refinement! please enjoy my horniness over carmy :) i’m thinking about maybe writing a part 2 so stay tuned if you like it <3

nirvana - about a girl

it was never supposed to go this far.

it was never supposed to end up in this position, with her big eyes gazing up at his towering stature, her lips slightly parted, breath heavy.

all of the deliberation, the firm decisions to not pursue, the promises he made to himself, the longing eyes torn away too soon.

he brought his big hand to caress the side of her jaw, and scanned his eyes over her flushed face. she stared up at carmen with blown pupils, leaning into his touch. he likes the way she looks right now—entirely at his mercy, so eager for more of his touches. he continues, running his thumb along the soft skin of her cheek, then delicately tracing it over her supple lips. he swiped over the swell of her bottom lip, pushing it to the side and gently down to reveal her teeth. he fought the urge to push his thumb into her mouth and watch her plump lips suck.

“please,” she breathed out

he clenched his jaw, tore his eyes away from her lips and into her doleful eyes. how he loved the way she sounded and longed to hear more; longed to hear his name exhaled from her mouth; longed to hear pleads and whimpers. he reminds himself to be slow, with gentle sweet touches as to not to startle her; pushing away the many images of what he wants to do to her out of his mind.

“please what?” he asks, thumb still resting on her lip.

her hand creeped up his leg, then fingers timidly hooked onto his belt.

“can i…” she sheepishly turned her face, darting her eyes away. carmen slightly tightens his grip on her jaw, pulling her back to meet his eyes.

“fuck” he exhales sharply, “you know what you do to me?” he takes his finger off her lip, brushing her cheek gently and trailing his fingers down her neck to caress; very delicately squeezing— just enough to hear her let out a sweet sounding breath and watch her cheeks flush at the action. he noticed very quickly the way she gravitated towards his natural dominance; the way her body relaxed and eyes would soften when he gave her commands, or hover over her like this.

his hand traces from her neck and down over the black crew neck shirt she wears, grabbing the hem and pushing it up over her breasts. he groans at the sight, bringing an inked hand to softly caress her right breast, checking her face before gently squeezing before rubbing his thumb over her perked nipple. she fights against a whimper, biting her lip to keep it in. he continues soft circles around the bud, then gently pulls it. her mouth falls open with a pant. carmy brings his left hand to caress her other breast, squeezing them in tandem before removing his hands completely, earning a huff of frustration from the girl. to this, carmen brings his hand back up to grab her face. he leans over, their faces inches apart, and stares into her eyes. “don’t give me that,” he says in a gruff tone. “you know what you’re here for.” cold blue irises overtake her vision, and she attempts to relieve herself of the intense eye contact, eyes darting down to his soft lips, but then quickly back up. the rule was no kissing, as both agreed early on that it blurs the lines too much. he tightens his grip, slightly. she could feel his warm breath on her lips and shifted, trying to alleviate the slick ache in her core.

“carm,” she breathes out, leaning forward, lips ghosting his, he smells so good. he removes his hand from her face, pulling away and standing, a stiffness in his jaw. she leans forward to touch his thighs, “can i just… suck it? to make up for today?” she sweetly asks, kissing his clothed thigh a few times, inching towards his firm bulge.

“fuck” he groans in response, taking in every detail of the scene in front of him. he smirks a bit and rubs a hand over his face, looking at the slightly cracked ceiling of his dark office— then back down at her kneeling form, with eager eyes and soft fingers teasing the threshold of his pants and bare skin.

“yeah? you- you wanna suck it? make up for being a brat earlier?” he asks in a low tone, feeling a pulse in his pants. she enthusiastically nods, biting the edge of her lip. he goes to unbuckle his belt when a loud and sharp bang on the closed door of the office interrupts the two— eliciting a sharp gasp from her. carmen reacts quickly by grabbing her arms and pulling her to her feet, helping her shove her shirt down over her bare chest.

the door swings open to reveal richie, who’s eyebrows raised at the two’s proximity— noticing carmen’s deep breaths and the girl’s flushed face.

“am i interrupting something in here?” richie said with a growing grin on his face.

“no,” carmen retorted quickly, eyes glancing at the girls figure next to him. “i was just telling her she’s fine to go home”. he turns towards the desk and away from richie with the hope to conceal his tented pants. the girl meekly nods, meeting his eyes one last time with a wanting gaze.

“goodnight chef,” she offers softly before slipping by richie and out of the small office. he watches the way her fingers brush her hair past a golden hoop and behind her ear revealing her soft neck, dark with a mark from where his lips had been earlier.

carmy tears his eyes away, taking deep breaths to cool down. he runs a hand through his tousled hair, patting his pockets in search of his cigarette carton.

“what do you want?” he asks gruffly. richie begins his tangent— complaining about “some fuckhead customer coming in at close” and continuing by ranting about his troubles with the new register system. carmen could care less, zoning out as he watched her figure pass by the office door and exit out the back. he was stupid for telling her to get down on her knees in his office, he thought. at least while closing with the most disruptive employee at the bear.

“yo. yo, cousin! you listening to me man?” richie shoved his shoulder, bringing him back to the conversation.

“yes, i was fuckin’ listening,” he snaps, bringing a tattooed hand up to squeeze the side of his neck. he was blatantly lying— richie knew the same, and persisted.

“no you weren’t, you were watching her leave. shit, you know, you better not have the hots for her, man. it’s best to leave the college girls alone, trust me!”

“fuck richie, i told you it’s not like that.” carmen snapped, shoving past him and through the door of the small office, cigarettes in hand.

“okay, whatever man, i saw the guilt all over your faces once i opened the door.” richie continues, “just don’t come crying to me once you’re in too deep, alright?”

carmen tenses. “i don’t get involved with my employees. you’re imagining things.” he runs a hand through his curls. “now get the fuck out of here already, cousin. i’m going out to smoke.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” richie turns to leave, pauses and turns back, “you know i wouldn’t blame you one bit, carmy. she really is a hot piece of a-“

“fuck richie! go home!” carmen interrupts with exasperation. he just wanted the topic to be dropped completely; her name never gracing anyone’s lips but his. any teasing carmen endured regarding her would make him snap almost immediately— because he knew it was completely true. she was younger than him, in her fourth year at the university nearby, and he knew how bad that looked, especially being her boss.

but he had such little self control when it came to her, for reasons unknown. the pull towards her was almost magnetic.

carmen pushes out the back door, cigarette resting in between his lips and a furrow on his brow. a breeze brushes past him as he steps out into the alleyway, the night warm and air thick with june moisture. he notices her to the side of the building almost immediately, letting her thick hair down from a claw clip, waves cascading over her bare shoulders, body clothed by a small halter top tied around her neck. his jaw twitches, raking her in with his eyes and admiring the newly exposed fabric, which he had shamelessly eyed peeking out from under her work clothes earlier. he clears his throat, catching her eye, and walks over to the side of the building.

“hey,” he says simply. her lips shyly curve upwards.

“hi.” a soft response

they share a beat of silence. carmen fishes a lighter out of his pocket and sparks a flame, deeply inhaling the smoke. “you got plans?” he asks, gesturing to her change in outfit, eyes quickly raking over her exposed shoulders and midriff. she shakes her head no, leaning against the wall of the alley, eyes forward. he doesn’t break his stare.

“it was really warm in there…” she elaborates, letting out a breath. a slight smile cracks his face for just a moment, bringing the cigarette to his lips for a drag.

“embarrassed?” he asks, ever so slightly teasing. she whips her head to face him, cheeks reddening.

“are you not?” she exasperates.

carmen shakes his head slightly, “no, he, uh…he didn’t see anything.”

he watches her visibly untense, as her creased brows relax a bit, and she slowly nods her head, “okay, good… i thought i might’ve given richie an eyeful.” carmy lets out a short breath through his nose in humor and clears his throat, eyeing the girl next to him before speaking.

“yeah, uh…that’s my bad. we probably shouldn’t mess around in the restaurant.”

she nods in agreement, with an utterance of a soft, “yeah, we shouldn’t,” trying to hide her slight disappointment. she waits a moment, seeing if he’ll say something else. yearning for an invitation to continue what richie interrupted earlier somewhere else. she takes in his standing form, muscled arms clad in pristine white and imagines what it would be like to sleep in those same arms, to be protected from anything and everything.

she lets out a soft sight, tearing her eyes away, pulling out her phone and checking the time before saying, “i should probably head home, it’s kinda late.”

carmen glances at her. “you got a ride?” he asks.

“no,” she shakes her head, “i’m only like 20 minutes away. just gonna walk.”

“what?” he asks, brows furrowing, “no you’re not.”

“uh, why?” she asks with uncertainty. he scans her face, in disbelief to her obliviousness, but finds she is completely serious.

“because it’s 11 o’clock. and we live in chicago” and you’re dressed like that and i can see your nipples through that shirt and i don’t want anyone to fuckin’ abduct you he chooses not to add, flickering his eyes over her form. she crosses her arms, turning to face carmen, moving closer.

“i have pepper spray,” she rebutes. his facial expression doesn’t change, stoic and wholly unconvinced. “aand,” she adds with a smile, flexing her bicep, “i have these babies.”

his face breaks, unintentionally smirking and looking away, which eggs her on.

“i’m serious, carm! i’ve been hitting the gym. they’re almost as big as yours,” she says, poking the small muscle. he watches her with a soft smile on his face, entertained by the girl's antics to try and convince him. carmy takes a final drag, drops the butt of the cigarette and steps on it, then begins walking.

“cmon,” he says to her, “ ‘m gonna give you a ride home.”

she was confident she would be able to get home safely by herself, as she had done many times before that. that being said, she wasn’t necessarily eager to turn down a ride and endure a long, anxiety-filled walk home. so she follows after carmy, lightly smiling to herself. he manually unlocks the older car, climbing in and opening the passenger door from the inside. she says a soft thanks as she gets in the car, closing the door behind her. she looks around, as carmen starts the car with a rumble, at the various items scattered in the confined space. the interior smells like cigarettes and dark roast.

“uh, sorry for the mess,” he apologizes. she wasn’t really focused on the mess- empty coffee cups and papers scattered about- just how her heart continued to inexplicably pound against her ribs. she offers him a small smile, “i don’t mind.”

carmy shifts the gear into drive, and she points with her finger, listing off a few directions, to which he nods. it’s a fairly quiet drive before he lightly clears his throat and glances at the passenger.

“i, uh… i didn’t know you were walking home every night,” he breaks the silence.

“yeah, it… can get sketchy sometimes. but it’s really not that bad,” she replies. he looks over with a concerned expression on his face. a beat of silence.

“i’m gonna drive you home from now on,” he tells the girl.

she glances at him with confusion on her face, “huh? carmy, you really don’t have to. i don’t wanna put you out.”

his jaw tightens a bit, “i don’t want you walking home alone when it’s dark,” he solidifies. a moment of quiet falls before he decides to add, “you’re not puttin’ me out, either.” she goes quiet at this, heart relentlessly beating in her ears at the gesture. they go silent for a moment, stopped at an empty red light, waiting for it to change.

“carm?” she asks. he turns to meet her eyes, face cast in an orange hue from the glow of traffic light. she continues, now under the pressure of his gaze, “is-…does earlier- i mean,” she lets out a breath, “in the office, does it…count?” she stammers out, avoiding his eyes. he fights a smirk, as he so often does with her, eyes shifting back to the road, light now green.

“count? you mean, as a punishment?” he asks, “for being bratty, when i gave you orders?” there’s the slightest edge in his tone, a gruffness to it that reignites the ache in her core and makes her face feel incredibly hot. she slowly nods, eyes daring to creep up onto the man’s side face, admiring the curvature of his nose, his lips, jaw, neck, chest— ignoring the growing urge to grab his face to smash her lips against his, or even devour him completely.

“what do you think?” carmen asks, quickly glancing at her up and down, “you learn your lesson?”

she bites down on her lip, hard; a dull pulse in her lower regions, clenching around nothing. she had never come across anyone who had such an effect on her with just simple words, the combination of his demeanor and voice making her head spin with infatuation and an arising goal to get back on her knees in front of him tonight.

“what lesson?” she challenges with, a smile ghosting the edges of her lips. he wanted so badly to pull the car off to the side of the road, drag her to the backseat, fuck her into submission, his head swimming with lust.

“guess not,” comes his reply, low in tone.

she presses her thighs together, focusing on the remaining road in front of them as they approach her street. the car slows to a stop outside her apartment unit, engine idling as she unbuckles her seatbelt. she mentally encourages herself to be bold— turning to face the driver, sitting up and pushing her chest out a bit, allowing her growing lust to give her confidence and take a chance. she pushes a piece of hair behind her ear, “do you…want to come inside?” their locking eyes increasing the fire between them.

his automatic instinct, entranced by her, is to say yes, follow her upstairs, and blow off some steam (which god knows he needed). but he falters, deliberating their relationship and the complexities that would arise as they continued to spend time together and grow closer. the two’s relationship was anything but appropriate, given their circumstances, and carmen knew this. he feared the possibility of stepping into an apartment that smells completely of her, that emanates her essence, and would subsequently be unable to leave, completely wrapped around her finger. he opens his mouth to answer her, but the pause she receives from him was enough to signify an answer, and she drops her eyes to the ground, grabbing her bag and opening the car door.

“nevermind,” she get out of the car, ears feeling hot, “thank you for the ride, really,” she reiterates, now standing on the asphalt outside her complex. she moves to close the door, and he says her name.

“- hey, wait a second.”

she pauses, locking eyes with him as her face heats up, eager to make her exit after the sting of rejection. he looks away, then back at the girl, bringing a hand from the steering wheel to rub his chin.

“why don’t you come over to mine tomorrow night, after we close?” he asks. she looks away from his unwavering gaze, crossing her arms. she felt a small jump in her chest at the thought of going to his place for the first time, but decides to even the playing field slightly. she pretends to deliberate the invitation a bit, knowing full well where she would be the following night.

“you only scheduled me until 7,” she reminds him.

“i’ll pick you up,” he offers, “on my way home.”

she lets a small smile grace her face, uncrossing her arms.

“okay,” she responds.

“okay,” he says back, “good.”

she adjusts her top, slightly pulling it upwards and revealing to him more of her rib cage, teasing the threshold of the soft skin under her breast. he briefly questions if his decision of staying in his car is the wrong one.

“goodnight carmy,” she chimes

“yeah, ‘night,” he tells her before watching the car door slam shut. his eyes follow her, car idling, as she walks across the pavement and up the stairs to her complex. she fumbles with the key a bit, and opens the front door, turning back and giving carmen a small wave. he puts his hand up, returning the gesture, and watching as she safely gets into her apartment for the night. once the door closes he lets out a breath, shifting the car back into drive, and continuing home, alone.

once in his apartment, sliding his shoes off and throwing his keys on the table, he collapses on the couch and runs his hand over his forehead, rubbing his face. he closes his eyes, leaning his head back and taking a moment to breathe. his days at the restaurant felt longer than ever, as now the cherished times where could talk to the girl one on one usually only came while they weren’t working. he brings his hand to the dip of his neck, squeezing the tight muscles as he tilts his head to the side for more access. he thinks more about the girl— the stretch of fabric around her body, what color was it? he sighs, recalling nothing but the way the chill wind outside of his car raised the thin fabric. he lets go of his neck and drops his hand to his lap. her flushed face flashes in his mind, her heavy breaths, reminiscing of the way her body quivered under his delicate touches. he feels a twitch under his palm, entrapped by jeans and a zipper. breathing deeply, he slowly runs his hand over the length of his clothed member, stiffening quickly. he could physically feel the pent up sexual tension within his body, hips rutting up against his hand. without further thought carmy unbuttons his pants and shoves his underwear down far enough to comfortably remove his hardening cock from confinement. he’s immediately reminded of her earlier attempts to take care of his needs, doe eyes gazing up at him obediently. he lifts his shirt over his stomach, wrapping his fist around his length and squeezing slightly, clear precum beading at the head. as he slowly begins to pump his hand, he throws his head back closing his eyes, letting out a quiet but guttural “fuuck..”

behind his closed eyelids all he can think of is her. hair falling over glowing shoulders, shapely ass confined by tight jeans, the smell of her coconut perfume as he would pass her closely by. his pace picks up as he remembers the feeling of her breasts, skin soft and delicate under his calloused hands, aching for more of her to be touched by him. he feels a knot form deep within his stomach, amplified by the quickening strokes that can hardly keep up with his imagination. straightening his posture and shoving his pants down further, he imagines what it would be like to fuck her, the opportunity not yet having graced him. he figures she would be just as responsive as earlier, if not more when he’s burried deep inside of her. he gets more and more riled up at the thought of claiming her completely, making her dependent on his cock, his face flushed and hips snapping upwards to meet his hand. he can hear her voice in his head, smell her skin, and it’s all too overwhelming. with a stutter of his hips and a few more pumps, carmen cums, letting out a strangled moan and shooting out thick white ropes onto his stomach, eyes tightly shut. he folds forward slightly, breathing ragged, agonizingly thrusting his slick cock into his hand to ride out his orgasm, muscles contracting. he tingles from oversensitivity, falling backwards against the couch and catching his breath. he feels a small pang of shame, having just masturbated to the thought of one of his employees, it becoming impossible to even refer to her as only that. he groans at the mess, stripping his white shirt to clean the cum off of his abdomen, then standing to discard his pants and underwear completely. he tosses the pile of clothes into the hamper in his bedroom, walking to the bathroom and turning on the shower, not bothering for the water to heat up before he steps in and allows the water to engulf him.

it was never supposed to go this far— and the extent to which carmy found himself yearning to see her the next morning at the restaurant was off putting to no end, trying to convince himself that these feelings must be the novelty of the two’s newfound “friends with benefits” relationship. he reassures himself, anticipating the feelings to diminish over time as the thrill wears off, and the both of them get what they’re looking for, which was some simple fun. a functional relationship was next to impossible for his lifestyle, he reminds himself for the umpeenth time.

he still remained in control, he told himself, he just wanted to taste her before ending things, feel himself inside her.

it was never supposed to go this far— but he just wanted a little bit more.

—

thank you so much for reading! pls let me know what you think! <33

part 2 - safe in your skin

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