brianwestchest

[brianwestchest]

The Blog has left the building...

The tumblr has been moved to a new neighborhood.  Follow me at www.shaynaelayne.com 

[brianwestchest]

Day 1036- Is It OK To Go to Mediums?

"'Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.”- Leviticus 19:31

If you’ve talked to a fundamentalist Christian about mediumship you might have heard this verse.  Keep in mind Leviticus is the same book of the Bible that tells you to stone your children for talking back, says eating shellfish is an abomination, and says that menstruating women are “unclean”.  How many of us live by the book of Leviticus? A show of hands, please. A little background on me.  I was raised in the church since before I could walk or talk.  My grandfather was the pastor. I was baptized (total immersion), receive the Holy Ghost (that’s what we called it), and spoke in tongues at the age of 13.  I’ve read the Bible cover-to-cover. I’ve studied church history and Bible history. I once thought the Jesus Seminar was the work of the devil because they dared question every word of Jesus spoken in the synoptic gospels.  I had a website called “Counsel for the Defense” where I was an amateur Christian apologist.  So yeah.  Been there, done that. First, let’s look at a biblical perspective on the consultation of mediums.  Practically speaking much of the “Old Testament” (Jews hate this term, BTW) was about the purity of Israel, keeping Israel separate as a nation, keeping Israel as a nation. These were laws given with a very specific purpose. “Do not be like the nations around you.”  Also, the books were written not by God, but by the priestly class. Have you ever noticed they told you not to consult with mediums, but it was OK for them to talk to the dead?  It was OK for them to interpret dreams.  King Saul consulted the Witch of Endor because his priests couldn’t get him satisfactory answers from beyond.  King Saul first consulted dreams, prophets, and the Urim and Thummin (basically like your pendulums used by spiritists today. All of these were methods of contact the beyond. How is a prophet any different from a medium other than in name?  Saul went to the Witch of Endor because he knew she could truly contact Samuel (not an evil spirit) and she did.  She made the connection.  Yes, Saul lost his battle and committed suicide but perhaps it was because of his hypocrisy. Notice the medium was fine.  The medium was not punished by God. Then, we have Jesus. In one of His highest moments, the transfiguration, we have Jesus talking to two very dead people, Elijah and Moses.  Uh, that’s being a medium, folks. Paul, says to test the spirits by the spirits. The mediums I’ve seen have delivered nothing but loving, comforting, healing messages.  No demons would ever deliver these types of messages.  Test the messages? What are they? Are they loving, healing, life affirming? 

1 John 4 1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

1 Corinthians 12 7-11.  Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

Now, let’s look at it practically.

When we “die” we don’t become some evil entity. We don’t go to sleep.  We are the same person we were before our bodies ceased to function. If I can talk to my loved one while she’s here, why am I forbidden to talk to her after she is in spirit?   I’ve heard some Christians say it’s OK for them to talk to their loved one directly but they’d never consult a medium. Oh, I can talk to her, I just can’t go to a medium to talk to her? Give me one good reason besides what you believe the Bible tells you. We all have the ability to connect with spirit, but some of us have more ability than others.  You consult your preacher. You ask for intercessory prayer.  Why would it be wrong to ask someone who has more ability to be the conduit between you and your loved one you can no longer talk to physically?

The proof is in the pudding.  A good medium reading can be more healing than several years of traditional grief therapy. Knowing that your loved one is still right here, has forgiven you, loves you, still participates in your life gives you the strength to carry on until you see them again.  What thing that is so life affirming and so healing could possibly be “evil”? I respect everyone’s right to believe whatever you want to believe. But, I would encourage you to base your belief on common sense, facts and your heart rather than a handful of verses plucked out of an ancient book. What does your heart say to you about mediumship? How is mediumship impacting people in the world?

We are spirit beings. We don’t cease to be spirit beings because we are encased in flesh. When a medium works for us, her spirit is connecting with our loved one’s spirit talking in a way we can no longer do with our tongues and ears.  Spirit connecting to spirit is never wrong.  Mediums do holy work, serve spirit, and serve humanity.  Some of my favorite people are mediums and I honor their gift.

[brianwestchest]

Day 1035- Jealousy

Last week I wrote about Shayna’s graduation day. Since I don’t get to have a high school graduation day, I took the day that Suzanne Giesemann featured Shayna in her keynote as her graduation day.  I know that Shayna is still a big, big force in this world doing more than she could have while in the body. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss having her in the body.

Today is Lakota West’s academic awards ceremony.  It’s the day we present the scholarship set up in Shayna’s name to a deserving senior student.  This will be the third presentation.  I attended the first.  I skipped last year.  My niece, Shayna’s twin from another mother, is going to help present the award this year. So, it’s turned into a family affair.  Her mother, my mother, my father, and possibly my brother are all coming for the presentation.  For some reason, they assumed I’d be there.

Here’s the thing. While I accept that Shayna is doing great things, in all honesty and full disclosure, it’s still like a consolation prize.  Awards nights and parent teacher conferences were always like Christmas with the girls. I looked forward to them.  Hearing teachers brag about how smart, considerate, and compassionate our girls were made my day. Shayna’s first and only awards night in that gym, she got all kinds of honors including being named as #16 in her class of about 600.  Shayna was good friends with #15 and told her she was coming after her. Being in the gym the following year thinking about where Shayna would be, what she would be getting was something I really did not look forward to doing again. I’m happy for your kids. But, hey, I’d like my kid here too. So, you just go ahead and celebrate without me.  

It’s 7:30 AM.  Between now and this evening I have to make a choice.  Do I go to the ceremony for the family or do I stay here for me?  I’d like to get to the point where there is no jealousy about other kids’ accomplishments but 1,035 days isn’t that point, for me, yet.

[brianwestchest]

Day 1030- Shop Talk

Dammit!  Yesterday we returned from our eight day trip to Phoenix/Scottsdale/Sedona.  As Soul II Soul is playing in the background repeating the lines “Back to Life.... back to reality”, I’m writing this post remembering the bliss of being with my soul family over the last eight days.  I so don’t want to be here right now.

Tywana and I arrived in Arizona on Wednesday even though the Helping Parents Heal conference didn't officially kick off until Friday.  I was looking forward to some sun and heat. We got some sun.  Not much heat. Arizona was unseasonably cool.    We planned to stay two more days after the conference closed on Sunday. We were meeting up with friends we met physically just over 14 months ago, but we have been in constant contact with since.  It was our third meeting actually face-to-face. We were meeting with other friends we have known over the last few years but have never met physically.  Someone asked me over the weekend just how many ways I am involved with these people because I kept mentioning one way after another I’m engaged with them.  I volunteer with Helping Parents Heal as an affiliate leader of the online group with two of them and Tywana.  Those same two and I volunteer on the Soul Phone Foundation. Those same two and I volunteer on Greater Reality Living (we will be launching the website soon. The book just came out- I’m mentioned in the foreword). And, I am a moderator in a Facebook group of about 6,000 people.  They are members. Also, two of the people I was meeting at the conference I am in conversations with about two different business ventures. So, we have a lot to talk about.  Since we don’t often get to meet face-fo-face, I had three conversations planned with three different people to talk about how we could do some of these things.

As I was leaving Arizona yesterday, I realized that of the three conversations I had planned to have in Arizona, I had only had one. Two of them involved money making ventures. One of them was related to our volunteer work. Guess which one of the three I actually had.

It’s not that we didn’t have time to talk. I was in the hotel with these people the vast majority of the time I was in away. We didn’t have a car. We barely left the hotel.  We stayed up late at night until 1:30 or so in the morning on some occasions.  We were up early. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. But, while business talk dominated the conference, the business talk was not what you might expect.

As we were Ubering around town, one of the drivers asked about what brought us to town.  How to describe a Helping Parents Heal conference to someone in 30 seconds?  It’s not your typical industry conference.  It’s not a Comic Con or a Trekkie kind of thing. It’s not a hobby conference like coins or a boat show.  What is it that brought us to this conference? And, what kept us up late at night talking, so engaged that we hated to part company and go to bed? Then this morning, it came to me.  Our talk was shop talk. We did talk about our business. 

  Luke 2 46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.47 And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.48 And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

The presenters; from Jeffery Olsen, whose wife and infant son transitioned in an auto accident 20 years ago, to Tom Zuba, who has had two children and a wife transition on separate occasions, to Suzanne Giesemann, whose daughter Susan was struck by lightning which launched Suzanne’s transition into being one of the world’s best mediums, all were not only sharing inspirational stories. As someone would at a business conference, they were giving presentations on how we go about the business we are in, the business of shining light in this world and making it a better place.  How do we turn these tragedies into something meaningful?  How do we complete our missions laid out in our soul plans? (Sara Ruble)  The conversations we had in the hallways, by the pool, at the bar, and back in our rooms (thanks Tracy and Heidi for hosting the hospitality suite) were all shop talk.  It’s not the type of business we get paid in dollars for, but we are certainly enriched by our participation in it.  We do get paid.

To those two people I didn’t get the chance to talk actually dollars and cents business with this week, we’ll have to do it now that we’re back in the real world.  This past week was about Spirit’s business.

[brianwestchest]

Day 1028- Sedona Revisited

Sedona Revisited

Two years ago, on our first family vacation without Shayna in the body, we stayed in Phoenix and took a trip up to the Garland Canyon, stopping in Sedona for a night and a day. This trip for, for the HPH conference, we decide to take a day trip to Sedona. Kayla had hurt her ankle on the way to Phoenix, so we did not get the chance to visit a vortex while we were here last time. We pack up for the day. I’m trying to decide whether to take my favorite sunglasses or not. They are very fragile, irreplaceable, and precious to me. I even hesitated to bring them to Arizona. I commented several times that when they break, I’m going to be devastated. I don’t take them places where I’m going to be putting them on an off. I put them in a hard case deciding they are no good if I never wear them.

We get the chance to hang out with Nicole Reilly, a New Orleans medium we all met at AREI last September. Since then Nicole has worked quite a bit with HPH. Tracy, my little sister that I bicker with constantly, Beth, the Air Force Colonel, Tywana, and I pile into Nicole’s rental for the two hour drive from the low desert to the high desert. At 4,000 feet the scenery in Sedona is quite amazing and this time I’m not driving so I get to enjoy the sweeping vistas and watching as the landscape and vegetation changes as we make the climb.

On the way up, we talk about HPH, the state of the mediumship industry, whether reincarnation is real- you know the small stuff like that. It’s been fascinating engaging in conversations with so many mediums over the last couple days. In our community, mediums are treated a lot like pastors. They can be put on a pedestal. People forget they are human, full of human foibles. They have egos. They have to make a living. They are not omniscient. And, sometimes mediums forget these things too. First and foremost they have a sacred obligation to serve Spirit. The back biting, the accusations of fraud, the jealousy, the prima donna behavior, it’s disappointing. But, they are humans. We all do the best we can with what we’ve got.

We get to Sedona and decide to hit a vortex first. But, it’s confusing as to how to get to one. The crowds are incredibly large for an overcast, chilly Monday. It’s barely over 70 degrees. Everyone is wearing jackets. There is no sun. We spot the Chapel of the Holy Cross and make our way up there. We find a parking spot, barely, and make our way inside. It’s overcast, the chapel is dark. I take off my sunglasses and put them in my pocket. A couple of people mention they are feeling dizzy. I don’t comment as focusing on the lightheaded feeling I have when I travel like this only exacerbates it. I feel it too as we climb up and down to and from the chapel. As I head down the stairwell to the gift shop I lightly brush against the handrail. I hear a faint pop as one of the lenses pops out of the glasses. They’re broken. Oh well. Maybe I manifested this by talking about it so much. I look on the bright side though. Ironically, the bright side is it’s completely overcast in Sedona and I don’t need them. Maybe I’ll have them repaired for the third time. Maybe it’s time to let them go.

We decide spontaneously to take a desert Jeep tour. I don’t do spontaneous, but I’m outnumbered four to one. It’s just after noon. There is no way, as crowded as Sedona is, and as late in the day as it is that any of the Jeep rental places will have room for five people. The first place we call has room for five on their 1:30 tour. We have to check in by 1:00. I guess it was meant to be.

We do some shopping. I am able to dart in and out of the various locations in this little outdoor mall, not having to stand in one place for to long. Moving helps with the dizziness. As Tracy and I are standing in one shop, she points out a toy gun that she says she would have bought for her 29 year old son, Aymen. Aymen went to the University of Alabama and the entire family is all about Alabama. Just as the name Aymen passes her lips, on the store’s music system Sweet Home Alabama strikes up. Tracy looks at me, eyes wide open, mouth agape. I said “Tracy, you just spoke his name and the song started playing.” On the way home we will discuss how these things work. My theory is that the song was in the queue already. Aymen didn’t make the song play. But, he might have manipulated us into this shop at this moment and put the thought into Tracy’s head in perfect timing. This is one of innumerable synchronicities from this weekend.

We finish shopping and take the Jeep tour. The tour was great. We laughed and laughed. Between the laughter and the kidney destroying bumps, it was a memorable tour.

Finally, after the tour, we make our way to Boynton Canyon vortex. We park the car and take the trail up to the vortex. As we are walking along the path, a guy stops Nicole and says he has something for her. He hands her a heart shaped red rock made of the native sandstone. Then he hands one to each of us a begins his speech about unconditional love, transforming the world, the Masters all taught this same thing, yadda, yadda, yadda. We all nod in agreement and maybe he could tell from the looks on our faces and how Tracy was tearing up that he was indeed preaching to the choir. We thank him and move up the trail half expecting that if we turn around, he will have disappeared.

As we make our way up the trail, I spot an agave plant about to bloom. These plants live for usually 10-25 years. Sometimes as long as 80 years. They bloom once in a lifetime. Once they bloom, they die. I learned this on our Jeep tour. So, it’s really cool to then see one growing the stalk in preparation for that once in a lifetime event.

We reach the apex of our climb and move off the trail where we find a fallen tree that will make a nice bench for our meditation. Nicole, a hypnotherapist as well as a medium, leads us in a guided meditation. As she begins, our eyes are closed, and we are taking in our first deep breaths, birds start to sing. We have heard no bird songs since we started the hike. I am tempted to open my eyes and look to see where the birds are, but I keep them closed and express gratitude for the serenade. As suddenly as they started. They stopped.

I hold my hands out and try to feel Shayna’s hands in mine. I hold her hands and feel the energy of the vortex enhancing my connection. Nicole asks us to imagine our kids forehead to forehead with us, touching. I feel Shayna there and hear her tell me that she is proud of what I am doing, not just at this moment or even this weekend, but overall. And she tells me I don’t have to come here or go anywhere to feel her because she is always with me.

The meditation ends all too soon. I could stay in this state for hours. The women start to chatter. I dry the tears that are rolling and sit in inner silence for a while. Nicole hasn’t had a child transition, but her father recently crossed. She got her first visit from him during our meditation as he pressed his forehead to hers. Father to daughter, for her, daughter to father for Shayna and me.

I find out Tywana has brought some of Shayna’s ashes with us as she pulls them out to spread them under the tree we meditated under. Tracy and Beth are headed back down the trail like two women on a mission. Nicole lingers behind as Tywana and are checking out the vegetation around. Nicole says she feels like there is something she is supposed to find. We start to help her look even though we don’t know what we are looking for. As Nicole reaches the spot where Tywana was sitting she bends down and picks up a perfectly heart shaped rock. At the same moment, I see one at my feet.

We descend the trail, get back to the car and Tracy and I begin bickering again, entertaining ourselves on the drive back to Phoenix. Sedona was magical the second time, too.

[brianwestchest]

Day 1026- Graduation Party

Today is the first full day of the First Annual Helping Parents Heal conference. Nearly 500 parents from around the globe are gathered in Scottsdale, AZ. The one thing we have in common is we have each experienced the greatest tragedy that can befall someone, the passing of one or more of our children. Tom Zumba, our after dinner keynote speaker, has had an 18 month old daughter, 13 year old son and 43 year old wife precede him. How is this guy even walking around? I am in awe of these people.

The first speaker of the day is Suzanne Giesemann. I consider Suzanne to be a personal friend, more like a family member since meeting her 14 months ago at a weekend workshop she led with my buddy Mark Pitstick. Suzanne is not only one of the best mediums in the world, she has as high a level of integrity as anyone I have ever met. She gave us a reading after the conference and has called or texted several times since to tell us that Shayna has dropped in on her with a message for us. We met Suzanne in person again 7 months ago at this same hotel where she spoke to AREI. At this conference, I have seen almost all of the presenters before and have personal relationships with many of them. For several of us attendees, and some presenters, this is our third time together in 14 months. We are in daily communication with many of them. This is more like a family reunion than a conference.

I have seen Suzanne present several times before both live and via video conferencing. She has told some us to not miss her 8 AM on Saturday morning keynote because it’s going to be something special. I know Suzanne’s presentation skills. So, when she says that I know it’s going to be truly amazing.

What ensues is probably the single best presentation I have ever seen with evidence for the afterlife. Suzanne is not a natural born medium, like many of the mediums here. She did not see spirit at a young age, have an NDE that gave her the gift, or anything of the sort. Suzanne began her quest for making this connection after her daughter Susan, who was six months pregnant, was struck and killed by lightning. Suzanne has worked long and hard to get where she is and I have been witness to her growth over the last 14 months. It’s inspiring. I feel like Suzanne is a kindred spirit.

Suzanne has woven together a creation story of how and why we as souls incarnate in the first place and magic that binds us all together. She brings together absolutely unbelievable evidence that she has a connection with our kids in the Everlife (a term coined by Sanaya, her spirit team). She is using a happy thought bubble, just a little happy thought image as the theme for her presentation. It triggers a connection for me immediately.

If I didn’t know Suzanne and if the parents of most of the kids she has used in her presentation were not present in the room I might think she was making some of this up. The evidence that our kids are not only alive and well, but are still involved in our day to day mundane lives is undeniable. She tells stories of child after child who has come to her in readings saying “I’m still right here, and I can prove it.” Some of these stories I know because she has reported them contemporaneously. Some of them are about kids of our friends. Heidi’s Grace, Tracy’s Aymen- we tease Heidi about being an awful sitter for a reading. We support Tracy as her beloved Aymen appears. Their shining faces appear on the screen as part of the narrative. These are true messages of hope.

I haven’t looked at my watch, but the end of the presentation is approaching. I can sense her coming to the conclusion. The stories were grouped together to form themes. Shayna has been in many of Suzanne’s presentations since making some incredible drop ins on Suzanne, but it looks like she’s not going to be in this one. I’m a little disappointed, but OK with it. Suzanne’s got a lot of material in here I have never seen. You can only fit so many stories into a presentation. Shayna has probably been edited our. She didn’t make the cut. It’s all right. And, the happy thought bubble was really cool anyway because that reminded me of one of Shayna’s drop ins on Suzanne.

I’m thinking about the next presentation when I see Shayna’s beautiful face appear on the screen in front of my eyes. Suzanne has saved Shayna for last and she did recognize the connection to the happy thought bubble that the volleyball presented to us after Shayna transitioned. It hangs above the sink in the kitchen. Shayna showed a vision of it to Suzanne who had no idea what it was just that it was a small orb that reflected light and was kind of like a Christmas ornament.

Suzanne goes on to share another drop in Shayna did on her and maybe something else. I don’t know because by this point I am sobbing uncontrollably and can’t listen. I knew my emotions would well over at some point this weekend. The weekend began yesterday with a slideshow of our kids faces. I could not watch. Other parents were looking for their kids’ faces. I typically look at pictures of Shayna in private.

As the tears are flowing and my lip is quivering, I realize my tears are not only because I miss my Beautiful Light. I am bursting with pride. I think back to when Tywana and Shayna would argue about whether Shayna would be famous some day. Shayna would say no. Tywana would say yes. Shayna had already had her picture in Ebony magazine. From the night she was born we knew she was a force to be reckoned with. The nurses told us we had our hands full. When she was two years old I said “I hope she uses her power for good, not for evil.” 18 years later, after her transition, here she is, a featured part of Suzanne Giesemann’s keynote presentation to nearly 500 people and live-streaming out to the world. I know, with absolutely no doubt, that my baby is still kicking butt and taking names from where she is now. She is cheering us on here and leading us. She is still sending ripples out into this world.

In the following hours I finish up the rest of the presentations and head back to the room to meditate. I listen to one of Suzanne’s mediumship training meditations and try to tune into Shayna. And, she comes to me. I’ve been thinking of how I’m going to avoid the graduation parties coming up. This would be her senior year. I can’t bring myself to go. Then, it hits me. This is Shayna’s graduation celebration. This entire week in Arizona is because of her. I am having a graduation party with her with my new family. She has graduated, as have all our children. Their lessons in Earth school behind them, they have gone on to do their work from the Other Side. I could not be more proud of what she has accomplished and continues to accomplish. And I am honored to be a part of it.

[brianwestchest]

Day 1021- Shining Star

Today I get the news that a woman I met just over a year ago has been given three to six months to live. That’s the way we phrase it. “The doctor gave her three to six months.” Nope. Doctors don’t give us time to live. Doctors give us a prognosis, which can be right or wrong.  Anita Moorjani was given hours to live in 2006 when her body was riddled with cancer and she lay “dying” in a hospital.  In 2018, she’s cancer free.  So, there’s always a chance the doctors are wrong this time.

However, the doctors are often fairly right and we have to accept that our lovely sister may be saying good-bye soon. I met her last February, just over a year ago. I have seen her face-to-face only a couple of times, even though we remain connected via social media. She’s short in stature, but a giant in spirit; a force to be reckoned with. Just thinking about her brings a smile to your face. I met her as part of the Serving Spirit class I attended and she roped Tywana and I into a Facebook group, which I later found out is a mediumship development class.  We have become fdamily with these people. And, since our focus is always the continuation of life, we are more aware than most groups that we will not always be together in the flesh. Some of us have speculated about which of us will return Home first.  We are all of a “certain age”, knowing that the odds grow greater with each passing day that one of will return.

When I got the news, I thought “No, her light cannot be put out.  We can’t lose her.”  She’s a warrior in this fight to shift consciousness of the planet. She has brought so many us together. She has inspired us with her fight. Then I realized “No we cannot lose her.” Literally, we cannot.  When she makes her transition, her light will not go out. It will shine brighter than ever before. I know she will be more of a force over there than she is here and I know that she will continue to work with us and through us as we complete our missions and return Home, one by one.  

Observing the responses of the group has been fascinating. Tears have been shed. Tears will be shed. But, the joy and the love of the group is palpable as our faith is put to the test. Joy and pain are inseparable on this plane.  We feel joy for her upcoming graduation and her reunion with her loved ones who have gone before.  We feel pain in anticipation of the temporary separation which can feel permanent as long as we’re on this side. She is and shall remain a shining star regardless of what happens to her body.

[brianwestchest]

Shayna likes to turn the ceiling light on for us.  Often when we go up to bed at night, it’ll be on. Tywana always acknowledges it.  It was on last night when we went up to bed. More rarely, she turns it on in the morning, usually around the time I get up, between 6:30 and 7. This morning, it came on at 6:24.  Tywana noted it’s Shayna’s angelversary date.

[brianwestchest]

A couple of weeks ago Tywana and I were in Costco and spotted some wicker patio furniture. The second chair of the set we bought 8 years ago had just crumbled. We passed on the furniture thinking we’d try to find a sale later on.

A couple of days later, I got this set.  For free.  

[brianwestchest]

Day 1013- Dad’s 80th & Easter

Dad and Uncle Robert, his twin, celebrate their 80th birthday on March 31, 2018.  It was decided to have their public birthday celebration and Uncle Robert’s going away party on the same day as Shayna’s memorial walk.  So, we could not attend.  My mother talks Kayla into making the drive down from Toledo to Columbus so that all of her grandchildren still in flesh can be there.  Shayna will be attending in spirit.  I’m sure she wouldn’t miss this.  

Getting together with the family is bittersweet now. I always miss Shayna.  I wonder what she’d be doing. Would she still be planning to go to OSU and be a vet? Would she have changed her career plans?  My brothers four kids are there. My other brothers’ three kids are there.  Having Kayla and Shayna was perfect for us. It’s not quantity, it’s quality. The girls had each other and our unit of four was enough for all of us. I’m proud of Kayla and Tywana for having made this work for what will be three years in three short months. They have displayed truly amazing strength and resiliency.  

Saturday, we have lunch catered at Mom and Dad’s house for the immediate family (which including in-laws and grandkids) has gotten pretty big.  I always find time to slip away and be alone with my thoughts about Shayna.  I slip into the family room while everyone is in the kitchen fixing their plates.  How many more of these will there be?  I can’t think that way.  Just get through one day at a time. That’s all I can do.

This morning, Uncle Robert got on a plane for Los Angeles.  My father’s twin who Dad shared a womb with, went to Ohio State with, lived in the same city as for 80 years has moved to the West coast. Everyone’s asking Dad how he feels about having his other half move so far away after 80 decades. They went to lunch together once a week. Uncle Robert came over for dinner once a week since Aunt Betty passed a few months after Shayna.  Uncle Robert married an LA Woman and has followed her to her home town. What’s Dad’s answer? Basically a shrug of the shoulders and an “It is what it is.”  This type of stoicism is the norm in my family. Will Dad miss Uncle Robert? Almost certainly. Will any of us ever see any indication of it? Probably not.  

Sunday is Easter Sunday. I have told Tywana “If anyone asks you about going to church on Sunday, don’t speak for me.” (Not that she would, just being sure).  I really don’t want to attend my parents Holy Roller church and hear how God killed Jesus to save us from Hell and we’re still going if we don’t accept that.  My brother is Catholic.  Really don’t want to hear a Catholic sermon on Easter Sunday. My other brother is Lutheran and we’re staying at his house.  Kayla and Tywana are going to church with him, his wife, and his three boys.  Maybe I should go. Maybe Lutheran’s not so bad. But, I need to do what’s best for me.  We’ll be getting together with the family again for dinner at 3 o’clock Sunday afternoon and there will be over 30 people at this gathering.  I need some “me” time. I stay back at his house, do some mediation, and enjoy the solitude getting my energy ready for an interaction with all of these people this afternoon.

The dinner is nice.  After we finish some of the women do what they always do.  Before the meal they wonder if we will have enough. After the meal they evaluate just how much excess we have.  You see it’s a total disaster if we run out of even one dish. I think it actually happened one Thanksgiving that one of the five meats was all consumed.  It was considered an epic fail.  As an example, Sunday we had potatoes au gratin, macaroni and cheese, corn pudding, and sweet potato casserole.  There is plenty left of every one of those dishes except the macaroni and cheese. So, the conversation ensues “Will you make two macaroni and cheese next year, Grammy?”.

Dinner is over, we hang out an appropriate amount of time and head back to Cincy.  I kiss Kayla goodbye and she turns her car North back to school at Toledo.  We give our nephew a ride home to his apartment at University of Cincinnati and get back home just in time to catch Jesus Christ Superstar’s life production on TV.  I have survived another holiday.  

[brianwestchest]

Day 1010- When The Student Is Ready...

the teacher will appear.  I’ve heard that as you look for the synchronicities in your life, the synchronicities will appear. Of course, it’s also true that you see what you look for.  Either way, as one begins to look for the patterns in life, to see life as operating on your behalf rather than being random or even stacked against you, both beliefs I have held, life just feels different. Even what appears to be a set back is transformed into something temporary, for you gain, like an obstacle on an obstacle course.

Shifting paradigms like this isn’t easy for someone like me. I’ve always been a plan for the worst kind of person.  When I was meeting with a life coach a few weeks ago we talked about my persistent fear that I would end up homeless and starving even though nothing in my experience, nothing objective, says I should have that fear. Yet, I do.  I’ve been attending a Unity church for going on three years now.  Unity isn’t exactly a name it and claim it church, but they are about right thinking and manifesting your future. I’ve always considered this to be poppycock as my rational, engineering brain cannot figure out how this mechanism works. And, if it is true, why don’t we all just think rich thoughts and have financial abundance.  So, I’ve resisted this thinking, wishing I could believe, but not getting there.

Two things have come along in the last couple of weeks that are working really well for me.  The first is the series of books “The Team” by Frances Key.  The Team is a collection of four books that Frances Key says were dictated to her by her mother who has passed into the spirit world.  I don’t know if these are the best wisdom books ever written.  I suppose the best wisdom book is the one that comes to you at the time you need it.  I heard Frances on a podcast. When she was asked a question rather than answer it herself, she would turn to the words in the book, the words that she had physically written herself.  There is something about the way her mother phrased the teachings that is almost magical.  I find myself highlighting entire chapters.  So, I’ve pretty much given up trying to highlight the meaningful passages. For the first time ever, I really feel like I have a Team right here with me.  I was kidding my friend who teaches Enneagram that these books are perfect for type 9 people because we often have problem defining boundaries between us and other people. The entire premise of these books is that none of us is an individual. We are part of a team.  I am the one on the court right now, but I am playing not only for myself, but for the entire team, in fact, all of humanity. The lessons I learn, the good I do, the benefits are shared by everyone. And, my team is here supporting me as I go through the trials and tribulations of this world.  One of the big questions of life is “Why am I here?”  Most of the people in the circles I run in now say it’s for personal development. According to the books it’s primarily to benefit mankind and my Team. Personal growth is a side effect of that effort.

The other thing that has come along is a series of meditations by Kenneth Soares that I discovered on Insight Timer. I get bored doing the same meditations every day, so I’ll sometimes meditate to ambient sounds, sometimes to music, sometimes to a teacher.  When I first listened to 22 minutes of affirmations telling basically hypnotizing me with thoughts like I’m unique, I’m connected to everything, I’m powerful... I felt silly.  And this guy Kenneth Soares has a Spanish/Mexican accent that makes him sound kind of like a parody of a teacher, or at least that’s how it sounded to me at first. I kind of giggled to myself through the first one, but I kept coming back to it. Unity has a different affirmation that we say every week at church and are instructed to repeat during the week. Nah... I don’t do affirmations. I’ve never taped it to my mirror as is suggested. Then, a couple of weeks ago I was on a Zoom meeting with someone who said that when he met Louise Hay he asked her about affirmations. She said you don’t have to believe them for them to work. Just start by saying them. So, I started with the Power Thoughts meditations by Kenneth Soares, listening to several of them over a period of several days.  And, I can feel them making a difference. It’s not an overnight transformation.  It’s two steps forward and one step back. But, there is a slight shift.  Small setbacks aren’t bothering me as much as they did before I started doing the meditations. When they do upset me, I catch those thoughts and I’m at least conscious of how I am not viewing this from the view of my higher self.  

I’m just started book three of The Team series.  I’m mixing in the affirmations with other meditations now.  Neither of these would have made sense to me three years ago, maybe not even three weeks ago, but I feel like when I was ready, they were there in my life.  And, I anticipate as I keep my eyes open for these things I’ll continue to have an increased appreciation for the patterns in the apparent chaos.  

[brianwestchest]

Day 1004- What I Learned from Big Brother

People make fun of me because I love reality TV shows. Specifically, I love Survivor and Big Brother.  I love them because they are microcosms of life and society. They are distilled down into small groups and put on display to entertain us and to learn, if we are up for it.  There is no one right strategy to winning and I learn a lot by watching them.

One thing about these shows that always amazes me is the people go batshit crazy in just a few short days/weeks.  No contact with the real world, no news of what is going on at home, no television, no internet, and the stress of the game breaks people down so quickly it continues to fascinate me.  The mention of someone back home will bring tears to their eyes. After a couple of weeks, they’ll kill each other just to get a letter from home. On the latest season of Big Brother (the celebrity edition) two players begged to be voted out Keshia Knight Pulliam (Rudy from the Cosby Show) and Metta World Peace both, within a few days, asked to be voted out.

I find myself yelling at my TV. “What is wrong with you?  You signed up for the show.  You knew the deal. Did you watch the show?  You know it’s only 40 days right? Why can’t you suck it up and tough it out?  You know your family is waiting for you.  Stop being a whiny baby.”  Then, it hits me. This is just like me.  They are me.  Here I am on the mission I signed up for.  I knew it wouldn't be easy.  But, I signed up for the mission because I wanted the rewards.  I left the comfort of Home to come into a crazy environment where I knew I’d be tested, where I’d face lack, where I’d have to compete to survive. And, here I am whining about the game, while I’m in the game that I signed up for.

I’m reading a series of books “The Team- A Mother’s Wisdom from The Other Side”  As I’m reading them, maybe for the first time in my life, I’m really getting that I’m not here alone on this island. The main theme of the books, as I see it, is we don’t come here just for spiritual growth. We come here to benefit our team and the world. Everything we do helps the whole. A by-product of helping the whole is individual spiritual growth. This lines up with the experience Natalie Sudman had (chronicled in Application of Impossible Things) where during her NDE, she found herself in an arena surrounded by beings who were downloading and benefiting from the experiences, knowledge, and wisdom she gained during her life on Earth.

Shayna told us that she can watch our family from where she is kind of like we watch TV. In the days since this concept of the team has become more real to me, I picture Shayna yelling at the TV and at me the way I was yelling at Metta World Peace. I know Shayna and my team are right here cheering me on, waiting for me, and saying “C’mon Brian. You know it’s not that long.  Suck it up and do what you went there to do.  We’ll all reap the rewards when you come Home.”

[brianwestchest]

Day 1,000- A Journey of 1,000 Miles

It is said a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. When I started this journey on June 24, 2015, I had no idea where or how far it would take me.  One day seemed like too many to live without Shayna. 1,000 was unthinkable.  When people even mentioned a month into the future, I would drop my head.  “I can’t even think about that.” I would say.

Yet, here I am, sitting in my office, 1,000 days later.  What has transpired in those 1,000 days? What’s the same? What’s different?  

Kayla is back in school. She went right back at the end of that summer, just a few weeks after Shayna’s passing. She’s completed her sophomore year.  Possibly inspired by Shayna, she changed majors from biology for pre-med to psychology with a minor in Spanish with the goal of working with children. She’s been to Spain.  This is the year, when she was 21 and Shayna is 18 that she wanted to take Shayna to New York.  In spite of having her dreams of a life with her sister shattered, Kayla is thriving as she finishes up her fourth year of college. I could not be more proud of her.

Tywana and I continue to work on the business.  It’s still a struggle, but we keep at it. She has taken a part time job, 12 hours a week to get her out of the house. The house is way too quiet and with no girls to run to basketball, girl scouts, swim team, volleyball, violin, etc. we need to find reasons to get out.  Tywana has become a meditator, has changed her reading habits, has become a student of life and the afterlife.  I’ve seen strength, wisdom, and patience blossom in her.

We’ve met incredible people in the last 1,000 days.  I have met hundreds of people I would not otherwise have met.  Some I’ve known only a year, like Tracy and Beth, but it seems like I’ve known them forever.  We joined Helping Parents Heal, started and mothballed a local group, then started an online Facebook group that has grown to 2,800 members in well less than a year.  Tywana and I co-lead the group along with Tracy and Beth. We have had nationally sought after speakers address our group (and have more in the pipeline).  I have met celebrities in this field I would never have met otherwise.  I have led an online course.  We host meetings several times a month serving parents whose children have transitioned. I’m on staff on the SoulPhone, a project to bring electronic communication across the veil. I’m working on two other projects that aren’t public yet.  One will be announced in a few weeks and will have the mission of changing people’s perception about the world we live in.  Two of these ventures are volunteer positions.  The other, we hope, will generate revenue and give me the opportunity to work in the field I really would like to work in.

1,000 days later we know that Shayna is still with us and that we will see her again once we make our transition. We’ve had incredible signs from her, synchronicities, medium readings, etc. We have immersed ourselves in this new paradigm reading, listening to podcasts, attending conferences, etc.  We have been to two afterlife conferences with the first annual Helping Parents Heal conference on the calendar for just a few short weeks from now.  

I don’t know that I can say I’ve healed in the last 1,000 days.  I can say I’ve grown. I don’t know if the pain has lessened, but the capacity to handle the pain has increased.  And, when I don’t think I can make another year or month or day, I remember that I thought the same thing on June 25, 2015 when I opened my eyes to this new world and the beginning of this new journey.

Will it be another 1,000 days? Will it be 10,000 days?  I am not in a position to say.  What I do know is it won't be forever.  That brings me peace. I also know that what once seemed to be impossible has now been accomplished.  1,000 days.

[brianwestchest]

Day 999B- Celebrity Medium Thomas John

Tonight I’m hosting a meeting with the celebrity medium Thomas John. If you’re not into mediumship you probably don’t know he’s the medium many A-list celebrities seek out, he does sold out events and he has been featured nationally in print and on television (and has an upcoming television show).  

Thomas begins the evening telling us his life story and answering some general questions about the spirit world and how all this all works.  Then, he begins with the readings which is what I really want to tell you about.


I have to set the scene first. I’m still a skeptic.  I know there are frauds.However, I truly 100% believe that mediumship is real. The evidence is overwhelming.  I’ve had readings with people who had no motivation to lie to me. I’ve had two blind readings where the medium knew nothing but my first name.  One was for a study. The other was booked and paid for by a friend.  But, I’m not going to be a sucker.  I analyze the situation and I look for potential fraud. As of today, our closed group has 2,881 members. In the group, 66 people have registered to be on the call. He does not have access to that information either.  122 people end up actually on the call.  

I’ve been to gallery readings before.  I always wonder if the medium has planted people in the audience and just picks the people they’ve planted. Obviously, they can’t look up details on the attendees, but they could plant people in the audience. I’ve seen Cindy Kaza twice.   I do recommend her, BTW. I have virtually eliminated that possibility for her because she’s in a different city every night, playing comedy clubs.  After I saw her show, I went to her Facebook page and stalked the people she had read who had come to comment.  They were all locals with real Facebook profiles.  If she’s planting people, she has a stable of people in every city in the country with a comedy club.  A massive effort. But, I digress.  Back to Thomas John, my friends attended a Thomas John show a few years ago and were the recipients of a gallery reading that blew them away. They know they weren’t plants.  

Thomas is reading for free for a group of grieving parents.  He’s already booked up with appearances and television show. He’s not here to drum up business. He has no motivation to try to fool us.  There’s no financial gain for him and he doesn’t need the publicity. He’s donated two hours of his time to this.  So, no motive, no opportunity. I don’t see how or why he’d be trying to fool us.  Why would he bother?

In the half an hour or 45 minutes he’s doing reading, he reads three people  I’ve seen many mediums who say things like “I have a J name or I have a Robert”.  Everyone has someone in their family with a J name.  Almost everyone has a Robert.  Thomas does some of this but, he also gets very, very specific.  Keep reading... Thomas says he has a message he thinks for a mother and father. Very few fathers are on this call. I see only two.  As he throws out some general information and hones in on a particular mother, we switch the video feed to her and Thomas starts the reading.  Then, as he’s getting this incredible information, the husband appears in the frame.  As far as I know, they are the only couple on the call and none of us knew he was there until this moment.  I���m impressed that Thomas seems to maybe have sensed the father was there.Now for the specific information. I can only give a small sample because there was so much. Tonight, Thomas gets names like Frost (the middle name of one of the kids) and Sequoia, the name of one of the kids’ surviving brother.  Frost and Sequoia, not exactly Robert and James. He tells a mother that she has kept her son’s room in tact and there is a chess board in it.  He correctly identifies one person’s cause of death as poisoning (very rare- it was an intentional poisoning).  He tells a mother of a minor child that she spent time separated from her child (it was three years that she didn’t even see him).  That same mother he identifies as having really bad arthritis (she described it as chronic pain).  He talks about sexual abuse with that child, also correct.  He describes the way she was told about her child’s passing as “inappropriate”.  I won’t share the details but it was the most inappropriate way I could possibly think of.  Her ex-husband was downright cruel, sadistic, and grotesque in how he told her.  He gets an exact birth date of November 12th.  These are just a few of the pieces of very specific things he brought through many of which he would have no way of knowing even if he had looked these people up.

All during the readings, we are commenting in the chat box and texting each other completely blown away by his abilities.

I know there will remain skeptics about mediums and that’s OK. For me, i’ve seen enough to know there are absolutely people with real, amazing abilities that are most simply and completely explained by believing what they claim, that they are connecting with people “on the other side”. There are peer reviewed, blind studies.  As I always say, there are bad mediums, good, mediums, exceptional mediums, and there are frauds.  Just because there are frauds and bad mediums doesn’t mean there aren’t people who can truly make a connection that can change your life. Even though I believe in mediumship, I am flabbergasted every time I meet one who is truly the real deal.

Of the 122 people in the call, only three of us were able to get readings from Thomas in the time allowed. But, we all came away uplifted.  If one of our kids was there, all of our kids were there. And if they were there, they are still right here.

[brianwestchest]

Day 999- Strong

The Shamrock Shuffle for Shayna is over for the third year.  Several times over the weekend, and at the race, people would come up to me and comment on how strong Tywana and I are. People said they could not do what we are doing.  “I can't imagine losing a child.”  I’m not sure how to respond to this. I know people mean it as a compliment, but I don’t feel particularly strong.  I’m hanging on by a thread. Every day I count as one less day I have to endure. It’s day 999, tomorrow is 1,000 days.  It’s torture not knowing how many days there are left. Instead of counting up, I wish I could count down. Running this race is like running a race where the finish line is an unknown distance away.  How am I supposed to pace myself when I don’t know if it a 100 meter dash or a marathon?

Last week I heard someone say they lied to their kid because they told them that “If anything ever happens to you, I won’t be able to live.” They felt guilty because they “lied”. Nope.  You didn’t lie.  Many parents feel that way, but you know what?  You do live.  You don’t really have much choice.  Other people are depending on you. You made a commitment. So, you get up, you get dressed, you eat, you bathe, and you do it all again.  You even sometimes pretend to be happy and people call you strong.

[brianwestchest]

Day 998- Shayna’s Shining Stars Weekend

The Shamrock Shuffle, held on or around St. Patrick’s Day has become a primary fundraiser for Shayna’s scholarship fund. This is the third year we have participated in the event as a charity. Shayna’s Girl Scout troop participated one year where they ran part of the event as part of an award they were working on.

Our families have stepped up big time to participate in the event. It’s not a race, or even a day, it’s a weekend. We have a pasta party the night before. This year we had about 20 people at the pasta party. Tywana’s sister, her husband, and her three boys spend the night. This year they came in on Friday. Between them, a fiancé, Kayla, and Gabe (Kayla’s boyfriend) we had 11 people spend the night on Friday. That number went up by one on Saturday when our nephew Wesley drove in from college to join the party.

Race day was predicted to be iffy precipitation, snow, sleet, rain, or some God-awful mix. Thursday and Friday were beautiful. Sunday was predicted to be sunny and warmer. Fortunately, by the time we have to leave the house for the race, the forecast has been changed and the rain won’t be coming until long after the race is over.

Tywana I love having the family in. For me, the house is so quiet with both girls gone now. Whenever we have company staying overnight, it reminds me of the days when I was a kid and my aunts and uncles would come to town. There are people sleeping all over the house. Some on futons, on four different couches. But, it’s a great time, never too crowded, never too loud. And, just like when I was a kid, I hate it when it’s time for everyone to go home. It seems since Shayna’s passing especially that we value this time together. We have always appreciated it, always had a great family bond. But, with the kids growing up, the times are become more scarce and more precious.

We bundle up for the race since it’s about 30º and overcast. The kids run it. Some of us fast walk it. And, some of us have a leisurely stroll. After it’s over, we take the family over to the high school, across the street, to see the memorial the volleyball team had put in for Shayna, Victorian and Lauren. All three girls memorialized for as long as the school is there. Tywana tells the family the story of how the memorial came to be. I’m so proud of my girl Shayna for making such an impact in a school she only attended for two years (never even making it to main campus high school) and with the varsity volleyball coach even though she was only ever on the freshman team. Shayna didn’t have the opportunity to become world famous. But, my philosophy has always been to bloom where you are planted. That girl sure did, in a way that still amazes me almost three years later.

Sunday morning comes and it’s time for goodbyes. Wesley heads out early to get back to study. Shell, Rod, and the boys get into their two cars to make the drive back to West Virginia. Kayla and Gabe hit the road for Toledo. It’s the two of us again.

I know Shayna enjoys this weekend as much as we do. Probably more. She loves the banner we had made with her picture and name. She loves us telling stories about her. She loves the way she still brings the Shayna Six (her friends who decided to name their group after her after she passed) together. They wore Shayna Shining Stars T-shirts and did the race together. Tywana and I knew from Day 1 that Shayna would have a big impact on the world. We never dreamed it would be in the way it has been.

As I sit and reflect on the weekend and on my life now, I would give it all up in an instant to have Shayna back. People are talking about next year’s walk and wanting to participate. God only knows where we’ll all be in a year. But, if we’re here, we’ll do it again. Any excuse to get together, celebrate family, and remember Shayna is a good excuse.

[brianwestchest]

Day 994- Pi Day/Stephen Hawking Going Home Day

Today is Pi day (3.14).  It’s also Einstein’s birthday.  How appropriate that it is Stephen Hawking’s going Home day.  50 years after his diagnosis with ALS, after a lifetime of amazing scientific contributions, the man who understood the physical universe arguably better than anyone who has ever lived, has had his eyes opened wide. Stephen Hawking didn’t believe in an “afterlife”.  I’d love to get his perspective on that now.

Of course, there’s controversy drummed up at his death. Too many Christians boast that he’s hell now precisely because he didn’t believe in hell or their version of God. Atheists say he’s like a computer that has switched off, an analogy I believe he used to describe death.  A comic was drawn showing his empty wheelchair, stars in the background and him walking away. This offended many in the disabled community (is disabled the right word? differently abled?) who called people who posted the comic “ableists” They say that those who use wheelchairs don’t see them as a prison, the wheelchair gives them freedom.

Here’s the way I see it.  I don’t know what it’s like to live in a wheelchair, unable to speak for decades, but I don’t think it’s a choice most of us would make if we had the choice.  Having said that, these bodies are prisons for all of us.Yes, we learn to live with the limitations. We even come to accept them as normal. But, we can only perceive a tiny fraction of what’s going on around us. We are limited in time and space. The most “able” among us has to walk- we cannot fly.  We cannot teleport. When we are in the body, whether we’re in a wheelchair or not, we are limited. When we shed these bodies, we will be more alive in ways we cannot even imagine now.  Stephen Hawking didn’t believe in God or an afterlife.  Fine. You don’t have to believe in anything to be alive here. You don’t have to believe anything to remain alive once your body stops working. And there is no God sitting there waiting to punish you for not believing. Sorry, He’s also not sitting there waiting to reward you for believing. 

p.s.- one of my Facebook friends pointed out maybe Stephen Hawking will join the SoulPhone team.  Wouldn't that be ironic since he used technology as his voice for so many years while he was here?