britishmagpie

[britishmagpie]

when girls orgasm they be grabbin at shit that aint there kickin lamps over throwing pillows their eyes roll back and they recite ancient spells in the language of long lost civilizations

thats why I never satisfy women sexually its scary and I’m not here for it

[britishmagpie]

I’m so glad that things like survivorship bias and statistical outliers became memes I wish more critical thinking skills would become widely-understood this way, I’m not kidding let’s get on this

[britishmagpie]

i knew this day would come. i saw it on the calendar

[britishmagpie]

“From whence you came” is a classic place to send back a foul beast

[britishmagpie]

This is what inspired my username… oh iPhone notes, you gem

[britishmagpie]

ii was trying to season reheated mcdonalds fries i took the cap off for some reason without realizing it and i

[britishmagpie]

[britishmagpie]

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

[britishmagpie]

an intense hatred of capitalism vs an intense love of trinkets

[britishmagpie]

Hey, uh. What was this

[britishmagpie]

Please do not dislike this skull.

[britishmagpie]

prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

[britishmagpie]

wall of perfectly aligned skulls in a Tibetan monastery

[britishmagpie]

RACHEL WEISZ & BRENDAN FRASER as EVELYN CARNAHAN & RICK O'CONNELL THE MUMMY (1999) dir. STEPHEN SOMMERS

[britishmagpie]

I understand that museums have to be dark because light can destroy fragile artifacts. That said, I’m always afraid to walk around the blind corners because what if there is a skeleton

[britishmagpie]

[britishmagpie]

Bruno but he wasn't being sarcastic :/