broken-heart-archives

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We've officially been apart longer than we were together.... it hasn't gotten easier.

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Things I can't say... pt. 3

I have a crazy year ahead of me, but once I get a job and get settled into my own apartment I’m gonna send you a text, okay? I’m gonna ask you to go out to dinner, my treat, and catch up. Can you do me a favor, love? Just one more favor, and I won’t ask for anything else. Please don’t ignore that text when I finally get the chance to send it. It’s the only thing keeping me upright at the moment. That tiny spark of hope that in a year I can see you. I’m praying to all the gods I can think of that it’s not the last time.

[broken-heart-archives]

Things I can't say... pt. 2

I need you to know… I need you to not forget. I love you so, so much. I still think about you every day. And, don’t worry about breaking my heart. I can forgive you for that if you just come home, okay?

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I keep dreaming about the day that you'll reach out.

When your name pops up on my phone, my heart will jump out of my chest and the world will stop spinning, just for a moment.

"Dinner?" You'll say. "Just to catch up," you'll say.

My hands will shake so badly that it takes me a few minutes to type out my response. "Sounds nice," I'll say. "See you soon."

We'll go to our favorite restaurant and order our usuals, and I won't be able to help but smile at the familiarity of it all. But you'll be a different person and I'll be a different person; that means things will end differently this time. They won't end this time.

It will feel awkward for a little while, as we both try to figure out exactly why the other showed up. But soon we'll be giggling and referencing old inside jokes and falling in love all over again.

I can't wait to meet the new us.

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Breakup so bad I told AI to convince me not to text him.

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Messages I wish I could send...

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Breakup hurt so bad I rediscovered my love of reading

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10 minutes. For just 10 minutes, could we pretend everything is okay again?

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Would you pick up? If I called you just to cry? Would you hate me for it?

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I'd give anything to hear you call me yours just one more time.

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I know we broke up... but you'll still text me to say happy birthday, right, love? Will you do that for me?

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Everytime I start to think I can learn to live like this, the memory of you sneaks up on me and leaves me breathless.

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I texted you today to tell you my final project passed. You said "Good job". Just two words. But it was the first time I've seen you say it without a nickname. A week ago it would've been "Good job, baby!!!". I cried. The smallest things set me off, knowing I can't have you.

[broken-heart-archives]

Have you ever had your heart broken so bad you, like, start taking care of yourself?

I've done the "crying in bed for weeks" breakup, but this is... different. I still feel just as bad as that--quite possibly worse--but it's like I have to keep moving, and the more I do, the more I feel the hurt sink a little deeper into my soul and bones.

This one's... not going to go away.

[broken-heart-archives]

Somebody said to me, "At least you know how you want to be treated now." I gave them a tight smile and nodded, in the way you have to so people stop trying to console you.

All I could think was... I don't want somebody who treats me like he did. I don't want somebody like him. I want him.