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getting murdered but i can’t even afford the name brand stuff so im getting snawed in half and scrabbed to death and shit

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inspired by a friend misspeaking

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i had a dream recently that i posted on tumblr about me speeding and then the cops found it and used it to get me a speeding ticket and then i contested the ticket by pulling up another tumblr post where i claimed i did 9/11 and my point was that i make shit up on tumblr all the time and as such all of my tumblr posts should be inadmissible and this case should be dismissed but it had the opposite effect and the judge sentenced me to over 3000 life sentences for the people.i killed when i did 9/11

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One of the machines broke down at the hyperbole factory. The situation is frustrating, but ultimately manageable.

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i think we should rename the Classic Tabby to Swirly Whirly Tabby. reblog if you also think we should rename the Classic Tabby to Swirly Whirly Tabby

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ON TUMBLR FOR HALF MY LIFE

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im not the stepadder im the ladder you step up, the lastter that stepped up,. i m the ladder that stepped up. you know. im not the step latter im the ladder that steppes up. that you step up. laddewr

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did chikorita ever end up decreasing the increase or was that another of bidens failed promises

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Lala Bingle sent you $10 for yummy sneats

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“i wanna know how i got these scars”

Joker (Confused

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