broniceprimordialpouch - Tumblr blog

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"hey, bobby, ginger's kid came out to her as non-binerary! can you believe it?"

"non-binary."

"huh? wha? what'd i say?"

"you said 'non-binerary.' the word is non-binary."

"right. non-byrony."

"oh my god"

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sometimes toxic yuri is 2 men from a 2000s tv show

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RAYLAN GIVENS + @timothyolyphant's reactions happy birthday, sarah! 🥳💕

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIMOTHY OLYPHANT! May 20th, 1968 (Honolulu, Hawaii)

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Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

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*watching the scene where aragorn kicks the orc helmet* i heard that behind the scenes this went perfectly as planned and everything about it was normal

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One 2015 study found that just seeing fat men more regularly increased attraction toward them in women who date men. The politics of desirability are shaped by who we are allowed to see as desirable, which is in turn shaped by who we are allowed to see.

-from "You Just Need to Lose Weight" and 19 Other Myths about Fat Peopleby Aubrey Gordon

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Getting ready to put up my sixth deershelf in my silly little cave of evil and hate and death.

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Americans accepted the fake backstory to Iron Chef in part bc they didn't know the Chairman was an actor but also it commits so thoroughly to its kayfabe that yeah. If an eccentric rich man was going to create a place for chefs to duel it would look like this. I wish we lived in the world where rich people were making Kitchen Stadia

Also bc none of our reality shows get kayfabe. We have the banker in Deal or No Deal and that's it. Jeopardy! should start with a backstory about how steel magnate Frank Jeopardy created it as an arena to find the one true trivia master. But it doesn't

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imagine youre a teenager and one day you decide to steal a car because it looks fast and sleek and you want to travel on the road. so you go on a trip in your stolen car and you love it so much that you dedicate your life to the road. you spend your years travelling, visiting new places and picking up hitchhikers, all in the same car you stole, which at this point has become old and run down and needs refurbishing every now and then, but you never replace it because you live in this car now and it's your home. at one point your actual house was demolished and your family members are dead. the people you've hooked up with in your car have broken up with you and gone away. youve changed many times as a person, but your shitty car has stayed the same, the one constant in your hectic life. it's the last one of its model after they stopped manifacturing it: that's how old it is. then one day, your car suddenly breaks down in the middle of the road. you go out to get help and find a lady who weirdly knows all about you. she knows all the places youve been to and the people youve gone there with. as you talk with her more, you begin to realize that, somehow, the soul of your car—the one that's sitting broken outside—has transferred into the body of a human woman. your car is alive and now speaking to you, and she remembers all the moments you two have spent together, every word youve told her when you thought you were alone, every desire and complaint youve expressed to her in the middle of the night. your car is speaking to you, and she tells you that however much you love her, she loves you equally back. that you never really stole her all those years ago because she wanted to travel with you, and she wouldn't change you for anyone else in the world. you speak with your living human car, and you realize that, hey, she's kind of funny actually, and you might be a little bit in love with her, and she might be a little bit in love with you. but the desert you're stuck in is also sentient and evil, so your human car dies in your arms in order for her soul to transfer back into the machine and drive you away. so now you're back on the road with your car the same as always, except now you know she's sentient and maybe has feelings for you, so you sometimes let go of the wheel and let her take you wherever she wants. that's what happened between the doctor and the tardis in that one episode

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Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.

Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that

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