brookebroski - Tumblr blog

[brookebroski]

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.

[brookebroski]

All handsome

[brookebroski]

“So every day is the best day ever, is that really love? Right, shouldn’t it be when you’re at your worst and they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again.” - Buck 5x18 “Isn’t that all we want in a partner, knowing that they have your back?” - Ravi 5x18 “You can have my back any day” “Or you know you can, you could have mine” - Eddie and Buck 2x01 I always wanted to make a proper edit of them, it took a while to think of a concept. I tried to fit in as many moments as possible, without making the edit too crowded. I’m sure you might miss a few moments that you think are more important, but that’s fine. I still hope I was able to properly display how solid of a unit they are.

Hope you like it!

[brookebroski]

Buck: So, you still don't think she's cursed?

Eddie: No, but I'm starting to think I am.

It's easier for Eddie to believe he's cursed and that that's why he'll never have Buck, rather than him believe that Buck won't want him. The fantasy of being with Buck and having his family all put together with the three of them, Chris included, is better than the reality that he's currently facing. Which is that Eddie Diaz is in love with Evan Buck Buckley and he may never get to have him in the way he wants him.

The longer Eddie holds out on this the bigger his love for Buck will get which means the scarier it will get. But Eddie knows that putting it out there, talking about it, voicing it even to himself with no one else around makes it way too real. Makes it so that it has to come out, eventually. Right now it's a fantasy, a pipe dream, something he latches onto and thinks about to get through rough days, and something that pops into the forefront of his mind when Buck does or says something that is just so Buck.

Eddie has to realize that holding feelings in and never letting them see the light of day is what put him in his darkest place before. Eddie has to realize that he only started to get better when he was forced to lay all those feelings out in front of him and look at them all and deal with them. And if this season is going the way I'm hoping it is, he's currently doing that with Frank in therapy. Unload, unpack, and sort all those feelings out, and we'll be on the road to, Christopher Diaz has two dads, in no time.

Looks like that fantasy's turning into a reality. How's that feel? Pretty damn good.

[brookebroski]

canonically the face eddie makes at the idea of heterosexual kissing

[brookebroski]

Buck loves kids. He's always loved kids. Well, apart from ages eleven through fourteen, but in his defence, middle school kids are quite literally evil. Like spawn of satan evil.

Apart from Christopher. He's an angel.

But the point is, Buck's always loved kids. Its why he always volunteers to free little girls from claw machines or bundle little boys up in his turnouts.

He loves kids. He loves talking space with Denny, and pretending to know video games with Harry, and having very serious conversations with Jee.

He loves kids. Never thought he could have them when he was younger, assumed he'd be fun uncle Buck forever. He loves kids. Wants them more than anything, maybe more than a partner. He loves kids. That's why he—

Fuck.

"Hey," Eddie leans against his locker, back in his street clothes, unbearably soft in the morning light. "Chris is getting all antsy about his dance on Friday, could use a hand helping him calm down long enough to try his suit on?"

He raises a hopeful eyebrow, but all Buck can see is the memory playing in Eddie's eyes. The memory of Buck, teary-eyed and half-drunk, a week after his parents left the state, telling Eddie he'd never been to a school dance because he was always grounded. That he'd only ever made it to prom because he'd asked the daughter of one of his dad's colleagues and he wouldn't let Buck stand her up.

"Sorry, man." He smiles, he wonders how long both of them can keep pretending its not a grimace. "Looking after Jee whilst Maddie and Chim go house hunting."

"Oh." Eddie blinks, the corners of his mouth twitching up. "You could always bring her along. She might be a good distraction for Chris, and you know—"

"No." Buck clears his throat, looks very hard into his locker for the hoodie he knows he already packed into his duffel. "I mean, I just hardly get any time with her, you know? So, I just kind of want to..."

"Oh, yeah, sure. 'Course, man." Eddie doesn't bother with a grimacing smile, just lets the furrow crease his brows. "Gotta keep up the title of best uncle, right?"

"Please." Buck scoffs. "Can she say Albert's name?"

"Right." Eddie nods with pursed lips. "Definitely doesn't have anything to do with easier phonetics and half the amount of syllables."

"Wow. I thought you were supposed to be on my side."

And, see, he means it as a joke. The whole conversation is a joke, really. Like Buck desperately doesn't want his niece and his— His Christopher to coexist in the same space, in the warm embrace of the Diaz house, home. But he can't, he just can't.

Still, its a joke. Only Eddie must be done with his jokes because he steps in closer, lays a gentle hand on his bicep and ducks his head until Buck has to meet his eyes. Like the tsunami.

Like the start of it all.

"I'm always on your side, Buck." He murmurs, more of a breath than anything. A confession that makes Buck a little dizzy. And then, Eddie's patting his arm and sweeping out of the locker room just as Hen and Chim come in.

"We'll drop Jee off at eleven, Buckaroo?" Chim says.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Two days after Jee-Yun gives him the best workout of his life, he shoots a text to Hen asking if she wants to take Denny to the Renaissance Fair which had finally reopened after dealing with the bee problem.

He doesn't mean to do it is the thing. Sure, in his probie year, after Hen had finally trusted him enough to let him meet Denny, they'd hung out all the time. He'd practically fast-tracked his way to uncle Buck. But then, Eddie Diaz had waltzed into his life and said I'm all he's got and the rest—

Well, the rest is history.

But the thing is, Buck's DNA is floating somewhere in the American healthcare system in a little plastic cup with a green lid and he's trying very hard not to think about all the ways that could break him into a million pieces.

Because there's something hollow and empty inside of him that's slowly been shattering ever since Connor said that he didn't have enough swimmers. And it crumbles a little more every time he thinks of Christopher.

He thinks of that night in his loft with a frustrated rant, and two indulgent Diaz boys, a missing couch, and a lasagne that took three tries to get it right. A night that had become routine for them. And now he hasn't seen Christopher in almost two months, hasn't seen Christopher since—

Since Lev.

Two months he's spent trying desperately not to think of the way he'd seen Christopher safe in Eddie's arms and collapsed into a heap because his job was done and that was enough. Two months he's spent trying not to think about the flash of happiness that came with the end of a tsunami. Two months he's spent trying not to think about how he's buried that realization for almost three years.

He just. Christopher is growing up, he's lying to his dad, and sneaking out to see his friends, and going to dances, and having crushes. And Buck is trying so hard to remember. To listen to the cyclical chant of guardian, not dad echoing around his skull every time Eddie turns to him expectantly upon a mention of his son.

Because he has an answer to Hen's question. Finally.

But, fuck, he doesn't even really care about his sperm anymore. He doesn't give a fuck about the abstract concept of a child biologically half his out there in the world, out of sight and out of reach. He just doesn't care. Because nothing will ever hurt as much as having everything he's ever wanted at his fingertips and still not being able to grab it for fear of it vanishing into thin air.

He doesn't care about not getting to raise his child because there's a child he actually cares about, a child he's been raising. A child that's not his, but could be—

Fuck.

So, he's at a renaissance fair with his friend and her son, picking out a sword so that his niece knows that she doesn't have to be a damsel in distress, but he's trying so damn hard not to think about a little kid—who's not really all that little anymore—sat in a barber's chair because he wanted to look good for his crush.

It feels a lot like pressing his thumb into the space between bruised ribs.

[brookebroski]

Queer!Eddie😁😁😁

no but eddie really not providing anything about his own childhood crushes or first kisses when the whole conversation started because of him in the first place…..its just truly so so queer

[brookebroski]

Midnights (Buddie's Version)

insp

[brookebroski]

Wet suits...WET SUITS!!!!! WATER RESCUE!!!!!

[brookebroski]

The posters on Feliza’s walls are pretty interesting!

the it girl (I personally think this is a nod to Elinor Glyn - who made the term It girl famous in one of her books ‘It’. She was also one of the first female script writers and directors in hollywood - working in the silent movie era) the poster is giving me how to lose a guy in 10 days vibes as well as pretty woman! 

this one we’ve all been screaming about since the teaser dropped and we see it twice - just to emphasise its importance

more car metaphors anyone?? (have we had two trapped in cars things connecting to Buddie now? I can’t remember!) 

this one is my favourite though - ‘Christmas mystery’ - with ‘telegraph’ as the newspaper name - hello mid season cliffhanger foreshaddowing!!!

and then finally She’s reading a script entitled ‘undercover abeulita’ which is a pilot episode and written by Jeremy Nguyen! so we open the episode with this title and end it with Eddie talking to abeula on the phone about tarot cards - SO LOUD!!!!

[brookebroski]

buck most definitely scoots himself in front of the car on that silly little bike to obviously stop the car but to also (and he’ll never admit this out loud) see if he can possibly figure out what the dying man figured out right before his death and i’ll be crying in the corner if you need me.

[brookebroski]

two things: I hate change and having my routines interrupted. I hate things being the same it’s boring

[brookebroski]

"You wanna go for the title?"

And, yeah, of course Eddie does, but how is he meant to say it out loud even if it really does sound as though Buck wants him to say yes.

And that's where my mind made a record scratching sound, because fuck me, they're in a secret relationship.

Like a secret secret relationship, the kind where the writers suck ass and don't want to give it directly to the audience because I don't fucking know why, but they hint at it aggressively sometimes and others they ignore it completely.

That scene was not hetero, in the slightest. Eddie took a drink of his beer to keep himself from pouncing and no amount of differing opinions will change my mind.

They've got some sort of situationship thing going on where they're like 'yeah this is nice and all but I don't want it to mess up our friendship' or 'the relationship that we built is based on more than what's going on between us and we dont wanna fuck our base relationship up by giving into what we both want' ya know like every cliche friends-to-lovers?

They are literally the epitome of friends-to-lovers with an angsty beginning. The scent of 'secret relationship' gets more and more potent as the days go by, and if we and the 118 don't get a reveal soon I'm gonna explode.

[brookebroski]

I have no confidence in my writing ability what-so-ever so, I've decided that I'll use Tumblr as a means to get my story ideas out there and just hope to whatever higher powers there are that someone will write them in great detail (please tag me so I can indulge in them, thanks)

So first up.....

I really like the tiktok trend people were doing with Ashley Kutcher's song 'Love You More'. The part where she sings, "I love him, but I'll always love you more," so here's what I'm thinking: Dean Winchester x reader fic where reader grew up with Sam and Dean but reader is younger than Sam so they were closer with Sam growing up because he was always less focused on the hunt and more focused on attempting to be a child.

Once they get older they still hunt together and whatnot but Dean assumes that reader wants nothing to do with Dean because he never paid them much attention. Then you get to see all the things Dean has done for reader through their eyes and they sit Dean down and have a talk with him about the fact that yes, Sam was their best friend but Dean was everything they needed as a child.

And reader uses the lyric when they tell Dean that of course they love Sam, their life long best friend and partner in crime, but they'll always LOVE Dean more.

[brookebroski]

So, I've started watching Supernatural, i know im super late, and I am obsessed. When I binge things: books, movies, shows, Fanfics - I tend to start dreaming about them, and Supernatural is apparently not exempt.

My dreams are usually pretty vivid but at the same time kind of choppy, so you're gonna have to bare with me.

The first thing that I remember is literally waking up in the backseat of the impala, I rub my eyes and sit up in the middle of the backseat. Sam turns his head around and smiles at me when he sees me awake. "We're almost there," he cautions. I huff, and throw myself back down on the backseat. I hear a low chuckle come from Dean and then focus on the low sound of the radio and the rumble of the impala.

After about half an hour I feel the car roll to a stop and I sit up in the back seat to look outside. Everything I see is familiar and I let out a loud sigh. Dean gets out of the car and opens my door for me. He holds his hand out to me and I take it, pulling myself out of the car.

We're in my hometown where Sam has picked up something, and even though it's for a job, I really do not want to be here. My family is known for their big gatherings where basically the whole town comes, and that is where the activity is happening.

We go to one of these gatherings and I try my best not to run into anyone I know but ultimately end up running into my dad. I try to explain to him why we're there and he asks who Dean and Sam are and I tell him that I'm with Dean and Sam is his brother. He calls me crazy and stupid and tells me to leave and I have to keep Dean from trying to fight him.

We stay for at least a week trying to find the culprit, and come to the realization that people at the gatherings are being possessed and are forced to kill other people there. So we do all the fun stuff we have to do to get the demon out of the people and we think the job is done.

After we're done with the job I decided to take some time by myself to go around my hometown and see how everything has changed, once I'm finished roaming I realize that I've lost the boys.

I find Dean in a cemetery that's near a cave and stream. I walk up to him and he says, "Ya know, our first time working together was near a cave." He takes my hand, Dean then gets down on one knee and reaches back into his pocket, but before I can see what he's reaching for, a sharp sudden pain comes from the back of my head and I fall unconscious.

I wake up in the passenger seat of the impala and touch the back of my head where blood is coming from. I look over to Dean and he smiles at me and says, "good, you're awake, you took a pretty hard fall, just passed out on me." I squint in confusion and turn around in my seat to see Sam looking tense and with no smile in his eyes. I turn back around in my seat and hear Dean say, "get some sleep, won't you, we're still a few hours out."

"From where?" I ask in confusion.

"You'll see." Dean says and an evil smile stretches across his face. And then before I woke up there was a close up of Sam's eyes in the back and Dean's eyes and they were both black.

[brookebroski]

"...it's not my heart trying to convince my brain of it, it's my brain knowing it all on it's own."

[brookebroski]

I can’t get over that flirting scene though. These are two mature adults who have been out of the game for various reasons for so long and when Bucky sees Sarah he immediately snaps back to “young stud trying to impress a girl”. He’s still his normal, slightly surly self with Sam (the running joke is all he does is stare and intimidate for Pete’s sake) and he sees Sarah and just lights up and turns on the charm for the first time we see EVER. And this isn’t “he’s happy to meet his friend’s sister” thing, he VISIBLY gives her the up and down and eagerly wants her to know who he is. And Sarah’s slightly flustered response to the hot dude who is clearly interested is adorable. And Bucky repeats her name with that “okay Sarah, I’m going to be remembering that name” tone which is why Sam immediately gets “you watch it” look. Then Sarah spins around and you can see her unable to hide the grin. It’s so cute to see two people who haven’t done this in a long time acting like teenagers. 

Then Sam does the threatening brother thing and rather than Bucky laugh it off, his throat tightens and he gets really sheepish which indicates to me that Bucky is DEFINITELY interested. Bucky “steal yo sister” Barnes is on the prowl. 

And when Sarah shows up to hassle Sam about messing with the boat when he doesn’t know what he’s doing, Bucky draws attention to himself again in spite of Sam and immediately aligns himself with Sarah (”yup, Samuel”) and while they’re leaving shares a look and smile with her again. Like Bucky is pursuing this. He took one look at Sarah and was immediately “oh hell this is totally worth it”. 

The kids situation actually seems appealing to Bucky. He’s missed out on a family and clearly likes kids (and they like him). He was happily at the mercy of the Wakandan children so you can’t tell me that Sarah’s kids aren’t comforting to Bucky. He wakes up to them disturbing him happy rather than startled. Stability and comfort and HOME is what Bucky really seems to want and Sarah offers that along with a good, understanding head on her shoulders. Sarah seems exhausted by having to handle her life alone and here’s this guy who just wants to help. It’s a flippin’ Hallmark movie.