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Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

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how is guitar like the most popular instrument the neck is so looong how do you move your hand so fast. and dont say effort over time because i only have 2 seconds left on this earth before the

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🪨

🪲🌱🪱🐛🐌🌱🌱🪳🦗🪱🪱🌱🪲🐜🐜🐜🪱

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I'm very much looking forward to seeing what sorts of cartoons we get when the folks whose formative media experience was spending hours a day parked in front of an iPad watching endless YouTube content farm pregnant Spider-Man machinima vids become the next generation of creators.

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Link to original

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i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been

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The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

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*dick comes detached and shoots out the window like a bottle rocket, emitting a harsh whistling noise as it arcs over the treeline and out of sight* I swear that's never happened before.

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In one of my film classes last semester we had to tell a story in 3 pictures for a mini assignment so my friend and I did this

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Jordan Peterson: Your argument presupposes that I think pooping all over the floor is bad

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our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

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i love illegal immigration like yes bitch get in here

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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getting big 45 minute vibes from this 15 minute recipe

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I don’t believe tsw*ft is a revolutionary or even interesting artist but she *is* the only artist who has her own folder on my phone dedicated to lyrics that make me incandescent with rage so from a perverse conceptual perspective I guess something is working