broyougottahelpme

[broyougottahelpme]

i want to give up but there's no giving up in life

If you kill yourself you're potentially subjecting yourself to an eternity in hell. Do you know how long an eternity is? It's the very existence of existence itself. It will not end and neither will your suffering.

[broyougottahelpme]

for all the shootings i've known about, 3 have stood out to me. Columbine, 2014 Isla Vista, and the one with Aiden Hale.

Before the one with Hale, I thought about Columbine and Isla Vista constantly. I spent my school lunchtimes thinking about them. I read part of Rodgers' manifesto and I realised he and I were only slightly alike. Harris and Klebold were nothing like me. I used to feel jealous of them because they had friendship with each other if nothing else. Then the one with Hale happened, and there was no published online material about it so my obsession with shootings kind of ended there. I've always told myself that if I killed myself I'd take down many others with me. Problem is, if there is an afterlife, I'd go to hell. And I also don't have any resources to go through with it. But I also feel that killing yourself is also just kind of pathetic if you don't take down other people with you.

[broyougottahelpme]

chat i ain't gonna lie i ain't feeling so good right now

[broyougottahelpme]

I can't tell if I'm genuinely sad or if it's just PMS

[broyougottahelpme]

i don't even know what to do anymore. death scares me. I don't know if there is something awaiting on the other side. I hope not. But if there is something, I hope it's okay. I don't want to spend eternity in hell.