brunette-from-hell - Tumblr blog

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Clark Kent: you can’t just let this 8 year go out in the night and fight crime

Battinson on the verge of tears: that’s what I told him but he won’t listen to me

Robin! Dick gleefully: I am going to be just like my dad!

Battinson sobbing: Dad

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Bruce forwarding Wayne Enterprises advertisement emails to Tim for him to deal with only to realise too late he's actually been sending them to Jason.

He only finds out as he's driving down town and sees a giant billboard reading 'Wayne Enterprises. Our CEO is getting plowed by Superman. Can you say the same for yours?'

Suprisingly, the share price goes up.

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Bruce's PR team doing their best to mitigate gay rumours after Bruce was spotted kissing a 'mysterious man' at a gala (it was Clark.)

Only for Bruce to retweet a Superman thirst trap the next day, adding 'I'd suck his dick so hard he'd forget where Metropolis even was.'

The public and press quickly forget about the mystery man and instead jump whole heartedly onto the 'Bruce Wayne wants to suck Superman's dick' train.

Bruce's PR team are weeping into their morning coffees the next day whilst Bruce just grins because the gay thing wasn't what bothered him about the situation, it was that Clark's privacy was at risk and as far as he's concerned, the issue is now solved.

Sure, Superman now has to deal with random civilians asking him if he's seen the tweet, but, you win some you lose some.

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New way to hold Batman just dropped

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Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

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Do you guys think Tumblr goes into panic mode every time ao3 goes down because we're still traumatized by The Great Ao3 DDOS Attack of 2023?

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the first real conversation the twins have with each other during their sessions with bee--where it doesn't feel like she's pulling teeth to keep the dialogue going between them--happens their junior year. they come in and one of them starts bitching about one of the new freshmen on the team and they fill the whole hour going back and forth tearing this kid to shreds. bee is thrilled.

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...the heavens have closed and God has abandoned us (ao3 is down)

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Fun perk of tumblr: everytime ao3 goes down and you're like, "is that just my internet or is something wrong?" You can immediately go to the ao3 tag on tumblr to see other people screaming in agony

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i know we’ve talked about this before but man i’m obsessed with neil literally never thinking about his sexuality. his sexuality is kevin’s problem, not his

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andrew's first pro game in the city aaron lives. he doesn't send tickets or ask aaron to come and he doesn't even tell aaron his team is coming to town. if aaron wants to come he will. andrew can't make him do anything.

between quarters, the jumbo tron is showing a "look-a-like" game on the screen where the camera operators find people in the crowd who look like different celebrities or animated characters. andrew's not paying any attention to it when the crowd goes wild. a teammate nudges him to look up and lo and behold, wearing a Minyard jersey is andrew minyard's look-a-like, aaron minyard himself.

he rolls his eyes when the camera focuses back on him for the side-by-side shot and but aaron can see that andrew is actually very pleased.

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[A video starts, Red Robins face incredibly close to the camera as he whispers into the microphone.

Red Robin, in what we can assume is the Batcave, lying down in an army-crawl position: *whispers* okay, so i know were technically not allowed to record in the cave but- were playing cops and robbers and-

*There's a clattering noise in the distance and his head whips towards the sound*

Red Robin, sounding equally gleeful and terrified: shit shit shit, i think someones in here? i gotta go free Signal- FUCK!

*Another noise, this one louder and accompanied by the sound of boots hitting the floor in a run, a flash of red is seen in the corner of the camera*

Red Robin, scrambling to his feet, the camera is shaky, and all you can hear is his feet running and the sounds of yells: ohmygod im gonna die who the fuck made RED HOOD A COP JESUS CHRIST!

Another voice, deeper and followed by cackling: IM GONNA GET YOU! ITS FUCKING OVER REPLACEMENT! COUNT YOUR DAYS YOU SHIT!

Red Robin is full sprinting now, and he turns sharply into a ballroom (??) where Nightwing is seen next to The daytime hero Signal, both of them waving aggressively*

Red Robin, panting: SIGNAL! i'm- shit, I'm on my way!

*The sound of boots gets closer as the camera blurs fully, only audio being heard*

Red Robin, screaming: FUCK NO- NIGHTWING SAVE ME-

*The video cuts off the the frozen image of Red Robin on the floor, a Red metal-plated boot planted on their back- if you look closely you can see Signal and Nightwing in the corner, Nightwing dramatically on his knees as Signal is fake-crying*]

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Do you ever read a fic that you know will make you cry? Because there is ground to break, whatever's still to come by @oceans-bluem did and it was so so so good! I highly recommend it!

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"My childhood was so awesome. Kids today don't even know!"

Isn't a flex.

It's a lament.

More people should understand that.

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I need neil josten to chew somebody out again like he did with riko so vehemently, no mercy to be found, he was locked and loaded within seconds. He took one look at riko and decided to ruin his ENTIRE LIFE without hesitation. I miss it. The antagonism of it all. Neil "I have a bit of an attitude problem" Josten was not only there to play stupid games, he was there to win those stupid prizes. And he sure won those stupid prizes and more.

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should i reread "the miserable art of finding your words and learning to use them" by bisexualbard and cry over "you were my brother first" for the next 8-10 business days yes or yes