brxkcnengineer

[brxkcnengineer]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[brxkcnengineer]

reblog this if i can tumblr im you, just slamming a muse or plot idea down in front of you

this doesn’t mean that you have to accept or agree with the idea - i’m just a scared little turtle that would like to know if that’s something that you wouldn’t mind so much 

[brxkcnengineer]

Let Me Rest

Exhaustion starters!! because i'm so tired man. im so tired. i slept 12 hours and im still so tired.

"You can barely stand any more."

"You're wobbling on your feet."

"When's the last time you rested?"

"Hey - come on - let me help you to bed."

"I got you a blanket."

"No - stop complaining - you're laying down."

"You're going to destroy yourself at this rate."

"You have to rest sometimes."

"I want you to feel better."

"If you feel like everyone hates you, you need to sleep."

"Okay, you're... not making any sense. Go to bed."

"Sleep isn't a failure."

"Rest is important."

"Shut up. Go to bed."

"The nightmares are... really bad..."

"I don't know when I last slept..."

"I'm gonna... elephant the beam... 'n I'm... uh..."

"I texted my friend "spu auash guahg." what does that mean?"

"If I'm going to bed then you... you... uh..."

"... will you stay with me tonight?"

"It's cold..."

"I wanna, um.. I just... bit longer..."

"Just getting a glass of water."

"Nooo I don't need t'sleep..."

"M'fine. It's... is fine. I'm..."

"I've never been so tired in my whole life."

"I've been laying here for hours and I can't sleep."

"I want to cry. I hate this."

"There's nothing left in me."

"I feel like a jukebox. Juice - juice box. Empty juice box."

[brxkcnengineer]

send me  ‘ f e a r s ‘   and i will tell you one (1) thing my muse is scared of, how scared they are on a scale of 1-10, and why they’re scared of it. 

[brxkcnengineer]

What If… Peter Parker and Leo Fitz were friends?

Fanfic series coming soon!

[brxkcnengineer]

I posted 998 times in 2022

5 posts created (1%)

993 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@biochemiist

@theresastargirl

@time-travel-muses

@brxkcnengineer

@rpmemes-galore

I tagged 997 of my posts in 2022

#[ she's biochem ; thread ] - 916 posts

#biochemiist - 916 posts

#[ verse ; away from shield ] - 865 posts

#[ thread ; first responders ] - 529 posts

#[ thread ; pianist au ] - 163 posts

#[ thread ; regency ] - 144 posts

#[ verse ; main ] - 55 posts

#[ managed to string three words together ; memes ] - 52 posts

#[ thread ; maveth ] - 51 posts

#[ thread ; starting over ] - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 59 characters

#[ who you really are; that’s not programming about fitz ]

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay but do I... Make an Eddie Munson RP blog..?

0 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

@theresastargirl​ asked “Here, lean on me. I’ll support you.” from x

Fitz shifted his weight off his injured leg, hissing at the PAIN that ran through his veins before he took Ophelia’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you,” he said gently, his words quiet under his grimace of pain. “Christ, tha’ hurts...”

3 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

#3

@biochemiist​

To say that Fitz had lost track of TIME would be an understatement. Did time even exist anymore? Without the sun rising and falling, it was hard to tell. All he really knew anymore was dust and blue. Dust and blue and IT. It that lived in the shadows and the sandstorms and the dark moments.

It that whispered and tried its absolute damndest to lure him out and kill him, drive him insane just like it did to the others. 

There was nothing on this hellscape of a planet left. It was just Fitz. Just Fitz...

Until he heard her.

It wasn’t uncommon for It to use voices, to try and call for him and lure him out, but most of those voices had been men, but this... this voice was new. And it was close. Just above the trapdoor near the lake...

He watched her, sometimes, hidden in the reeds, but he couldn’t be sure. Maybe It had gotten smarter and was trying something new... Either way, he had to catch It, to find out what It wanted.

So, he lured her over, tossing rocks at the reeds, the noise of it attracting her until she was standing right on top of the trapdoor. The moment she fell through, he ran, covering up the hole in trap again.

He’d made the cage ahead of time, all he had to do was tie the walls together. And judging by how heavily she -- It? -- was breathing, he had plenty of time to do that before she woke up again.

100 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#2

@biochemiist​

Fitz had seen her come in before. The first time, she had been with another woman, the pair of them laughing and smiling, sipping wine at their table. She looked over in his direction from time to time, but it was only ever a passing glance, just looking at the art on the walls or the chandelier above his head. Maybe once she looked at him, just to see who was playing the piano, but he wasn’t sure. Regardless, he kept his head down and focused on the keys under his fingers.

She was back again about two weeks later. Her hair had been cut shorter, and her dress was the same as the one her friend had been wearing last time. Maybe they shared wardrobes, or something. Was that weird of him to notice?

It seemed like she was there for some sort of meeting, if the other fancily dressed people were anything to judge by, and the short conversations about what... seemed like business, maybe? Still, he focused on the keys, focused on the sheet music and the tablet in front of him.

The third time he saw her, it was in the corner of his right eye. She was talking to Hunter at the bar, and the pair of them kept nodding towards him. He tried to keep his focus on the composition he was playing, but a pop-up on his tablet alerted him that Hunter and this mystery woman were indeed talking about him, as Hunter had slyly texted him under the bar without ever breaking eye contact or conversation with the woman.

HUNTER: Incoming - lady wants to talk to you

Fitz blinked at his tablet and his mouth moved a little, no words or distinguishable sounds passing his lips. And, sure enough, the woman was walking towards his piano now, lingering near the rear leg as he played. She was still far enough away from him that she wouldn’t see his wheelchair, wouldn’t really notice the way he was sitting or that his head tilt wasn’t just a matter of him focusing.

He let his eyes flicker towards her, then back to his keyboard, and he nodded his head towards the sign propped up on the lid of the piano. PLEASE WAIT UNTIL I FINISH PLAYING THIS SONG TO MAKE A REQUEST.

326 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@biochemiist​

Fitz had been working for the SHIELD 616 for just about two years. Becoming a firefighter hadn’t been his original plan for his life, but something about the team had just felt right, so he’d made the change from volunteer to full-time, and never looked back. Sure, it was dangerous, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes consider the what-ifs, but he liked his work, liked his team.

When one of the EMTs had left, having finished medical school and moved on to become a trauma doctor, there had been an open position. The fire captain, Coulson, and the paramedic captain, had interviewed people to fill Lincoln’s spot, though Fitz hadn’t had a chance to meet them until today.

It had been a relatively easy day, with the crew taking advantage of the gap between calls. Fitz was flat on his back on the creeper seat, only his feet sticking out from under the rig, when he heard a new voice call out a hesitant hello.

“Jus’ a second!” he called back, shifting his feet so he could push himself out from under the firetruck. He was sure that he looked a right mess, his hands greasy, his face, too. He was also sure that he’d have to change, his shirt dirty from being on the floor.

When he finally resurfaced from under the truck, he was immediately looking up at the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and she was wearing the EMT uniform. ( So she was Lincoln’s replacement, then. ) For a moment, Fitz couldn’t remember how to breathe, his mouth open slightly as he stared up at her, still flat on his back, covered in engine grease.

“... Hi.”

1,052 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[brxkcnengineer]

╰┈➤ STARTER PROMPTS : The Stanley Parable, Part II a set of starter prompts, all from the ultra deluxe version of the game !

❝ i hope your friends find this concerning. ❞ ❝ well, i've come to a very definite conclusion about what's going on right now. you're dead. ❞ ❝ i guarantee you can't do any worse than the person who came before you. ❞ ❝ this is your bucket. this is your companion and lifelong friend. ❞ ❝ go on, [ name ] ! lay into it ! really tell the broom closet off for its demeaning comments ! ❞ ❝ i've got you something which i think will help settle this debate once and for all. ❞ ❝ [ name ] , can you still hear me ? are you with me ? ❞ ❝ maybe you're the problem ! ❞ ❝ yes, this is certainly the most logical explanation. ❞ ❝ remember, no reward for collecting all of these. only the intrinsic pleasure of a job well done. ❞ ❝ the truth was that, at the end of the hall, [ name ] would meet a violent death. ❝ what use is a sense of ease when you're about to be crushed to death ? ❞ ❝ now ride the lift all the way to the top. there's something up there i need you to do. ❞ ❝ [ name ] chose not to think about this obvious fact. ❞ ❝ lately, i've been concerned about them. wouldn't you be concerned, as well ? ❞ ❝ i want to say something to them, but i don't know how i can convince them. ❞ ❝ you know, once upon a time, it was me they took orders from ! me they trusted and listened to ! ❞ ❝ wait, [ name ] , i've just realized. that's what i've been working on for the sequel. how did you get your hands on it ? isn't this the preview to the sequel ? how do you have it already ? this makes no sense at all. ❞ ❝ i don't remember doing that at all. you're seeing things all out of order. ❞ ❝ none of them are ready yet ! i'm still developing them ! ❞

❝ we all want more of the things we love, and we're all afraid of change, which is what makes sequels so popular. ❞ ❝ new ideas are dangerous, [ name ] , and they can lead to early aging. ❞ ❝ next up, it's time to blackmail the press. ❞ ❝ a single egg will produce over a thousand cows, which are of course the sequel to pigs. ❞ ❝ you don't want thoughtful and nuanced answers to complex questions. you just want to chew bubblegum and cheat at hopscotch. ❞ ❝ i was right ! the problem is you ! ❞ ❝ a normal person would have said, " yep, that's an infinite hole right there, goes on forever until the end of time, don't need to see it all " , but not you ! ❞ ❝ what exactly is it ? well, i haven't quite figured that part out yet. ❞ ❝ it should have alarmed them, of course, because buckets can't talk. ❞ ❝ to be honest, i just sort of put this one in here as a gimme, but i was starting to get concerned that even this might be too much for you. ❞ ❝ i'm too confused to even sort it out. i've lost all sense of perspective. ❞ ❝ [ name ] , i can't keep doing this. i'm losing myself, and myself was all i ever had to begin with. ❞ ❝ oh, this is wonderful news, we're not buckets ! ❞ ❝ i actually feel much more at ease now. ❞ ❝ it's delightful to get some clarity on that issue. ❞ ❝ if you run into anyone else, maybe don't mention that. who knows what that information might do to a person ? ❞ ❝ we've come together here because we care about you, very much. ❞ ❝ it's just sequel content ! we're the ones that matter ! classic characters from the first game ! ❞

❝ no, wait . . . where are you going ? ❞ ❝ wasn't it the most intrinsically fulfilling moment of your entire life ? didn't it fill you to the brim with inner richness ? ❞ ❝ you continue to surprise me in all sorts of mundane, unremarkable ways. ❞ ❝ i spent a lot of time making that, but it's eight minutes i wouldn't have spent on anything else. ❞ ❝ the past is truly a wonderful thing. why does anyone ever choose to leave it ? ❞ ❝ it's your story, now; shape it to your heart's desires. ❞ ❝ alright. i'm in a good mood, and you're going to die anyway. i'll tell you exactly what happened. ❞ ❝ i have to say this, though : this version of events has been rather amusing. watching you try to make sense of everything, and take back the control wrested away from you — it's quite rich. ❞ ❝ oh dear me. what's the matter, [ name ] ? is it that you have no idea where you're going or what you're supposed to be doing right now ? ❞ ❝ this is not a challenge. it's a tragedy. ❞ ❝ what do you say ? should we go forward with this plan ? ❞ ❝ they never found freedom, because they spent the rest of their lives here in this place flipping through livestreams of the silliest birds imaginable. ❞ ❝ it was a shame, the death of such a magnificent bucket. it's true that all buckets are radiant in their own way, but this one stood above the rest. it was a glorious bucket to behold. ❞ ❝ will you turn a blind eye and continue to live as you were, in ignorance and darkness ? ❞

❝ who knows where it will go off to next ? oh, and it plays some silly music as well. ❞ ❝ don't you remember all those great jokes from the original dialogue ? ❞ ❝ that's all it knows ! that is its singular personality trait ! ❞ ❝ you had so much potential. we were going to do such marvelous things with you. tell such spellbinding stories about you. all of it's squandered now. ❞ ❝ alright, have you seen everything you wanted to ? ready to move on now ? ❞ ❝ i can feel it in my soul. it's going to work. ❞ ❝ you do realize there's no choice of anything in here, right ? ❞ ❝ trust the completionist instinct. ❞ ❝ [ name ] was in such a rush to get through the story as quickly as possible that they didn't even have a single minute to just let the narrator talk. ❞ ❝ when every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. ❞ ❝ oh, look at these two. how they wish to destroy one another. how they wish to control one another. how they both wish to be free. ❞ ❝ can you see ? can you see how much they need one another ? ❞ ❝ as long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. stop now, and it will be your only true choice. ❞ ❝ wha — really ? i was in the middle of something, do you have zero consideration for others ? ❞ ❝ are you that convinced that i want something bad to happen to you ? ❞ ❝ oh, thank god, you are willing to listen to me. ❞ ❝ oh, it's beautiful, isn't it ? if we just stay right here, right in this moment, with this place — [ name ] , i think i feel . . . happy. i actually feel happy. ❞

[brxkcnengineer]

🐝  *  ―  𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.   (  random assortment of sentences that can but don’t have to be used for muses meeting each other for the first time. feel free to adjust to better fit your muses.  )

❛  i know we only just met but i already feel like i’ve known you my whole life.  ❜ ❛  umm, is this seat taken ?  ❜ ❛  don’t be alarmed now but there’s someone following you. pretend you know me and come with me. i’ll get you somewhere safe.  ❜ ❛  my friends ditched me here and now i could really use a ride home.  ❜ ❛  i don’t think we’ve met yet but you looked like you needed someone to talk to.  ❜ ❛  can you please pretend to be my boyfriend / girlfriend for a moment so my ex will leave me alone ?   ❜ ❛  are you always this straightforward with strangers ?  ❜ ❛  here, i noticed you lost this earlier.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry, i must’ve mistaken you for somebody else.  ❜ ❛  so, what brings you here today ?  ❜ ❛  hi, my name is [name]. it’s nice meeting you.  ❜ ❛  you’re cute. how about i buy you a drink ?  ❜ ❛  can’t you watch where you are going ?!  ❜ ❛  i just moved into the apartment next to you, so i guess we’re gonna be neighbors now.  ❜ ❛  oh god, you’re [name], aren’t you ?  ❜ ❛  here, let me help you.  ❜ ❛  is there a reasons you’re here on your own ?  ❜ ❛  apparently we’re going to be working on this together now.  ❜ ❛  you look like you could use a hand with that.  ❜ ❛  what do people around here do to have some fun ?  ❜ ❛  looks like this will take a while, huh ?  ❜ ❛  oh god. please tell me you haven’t just heard me talk to myself.  ❜ ❛  excuse me, i think i’m lost.  ❜ ❛  i just wanted to say that i really like your outfit.  ❜ ❛  do you come here often ?  ❜ ❛  do you mind if i join you for a bit ?  ❜ ❛  you looked lonely so i got you a drink.  ❜ ❛  i don’t think we’ve met, i’m [name].  ❜ ❛  what the hell just happened there ?  ❜ ❛  have you seen this anywhere ? i must’ve lost it.  ❜ ❛  can i please use your phone ? i have to call someone to get me out of here.  ❜ ❛  seems like we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together.  ❜ ❛  come with me, and don’t ask any questions. it’s urgent.  ❜ ❛  i heard strange noises coming from your apartment and just wanted to make sure everything is alright.  ❜ ❛  i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ?  ❜ ❛  you don’t know me but will you be my date for tonight ?  ❜ ❛  we’ve got some time to kill so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t usually just walk up to strangers but my friends set me up to it.  ❜ ❛  i think our orders may have gotten mixed up.  ❜ ❛  do i have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like that ?  ❜

[brxkcnengineer]

klaus sentence starters

❝ letters. you don’t really write many these days, do you? ❞

❝ i give up. who are you? ❞

❝ i’m gonna take one last look around the old place so i can forget it. ❞

❝ it’s been nine months… actually, nine months and six days, but who’s counting? ❞

❝ hey, we gave it the old college try, didn’t we? ❞

❝ stay right where you are. ❞

❝ what is… what’s happening right now? ❞

❝ if you fail to do this, you’re cut off. no more fancy apartments, stagecoach, clothes, galas… all gone. you can look forward to a cozy spot in the gutter. ❞

❝ i’m not lost. ❞

❝ is the weather always like this? ❞

❝ you should see it in the spring. that’s when those grays really pop. ❞

❝ what happened here? ❞

❝ i thought there would be some sort of a reception. ❞

❝ ow, they’re biting! ow, get off! get off! get off! ❞

❝ get me out of here! ❞

❝ don’t you dare raise your voice at me! ❞

❝ this is no way to treat a person! certainly not this person! ❞

❝ whoever’s there, i warn you, you do not want to mess with me, okay? ❞

❝ welcome to ____, home of the world’s finest feuds. ❞

❝ this place is the worst! i’m going home! ❞

❝ you can’t leave, remember? ❞

❝ okay, keep low. don’t panic. don’t panic. ❞

❝ it’s not a letter if it doesn’t have postage. ❞

❝ he’s lying. children are liars. ❞

❝ you may have won this round, but if you think i’m giving up, think again. ❞

❝ is this a bad time? i can see you’re pretty swamped. ❞

❝ don’t you have a job or something? ❞

❝ you’re gonna have to help me with the heavier bags. bad back, don’t you know. ❞

❝ i hate you. ❞

❝ now i can go home with the satisfaction of having accomplished absolutely nothing. ❞

❝ better alive in the gutter than hacked into pieces! ❞

❝ please don’t chop me up and scatter my parts in the woods! ❞

❝ you must be kidding. no way. absolutely not. ❞

❝ why are you doing this to me? ❞

❝ what do you want? money? ❞

❝ you remember me from the nice breaking and entering last night? ❞

❝ that is… totally normal. not a symptom of any mental illness or anything. ❞

❝ think of all the joy you’ll bring their miserable little lives! ❞

❝ what, “same time”? you mean, dead of night? ❞

❝ there’s no need for you to come with me, really. it might be against the law. ❞

❝ i don’t know how it happened. i turned away for one second… ❞

❝ what are we going to do? ❞

❝ this is bad. very bad. worst i’ve ever seen, really. ❞

❝ what were you thinking? ❞

❝ this is tradition! centuries of glorious hatred, passed down through generations! ❞

❝ you really have a way with words, you know? ❞

❝ what is wrong with you? ❞

❝ whatever you’re doing, leave me out of it. ❞

❝ i am so close to getting out. i am not about to let you mess it all up. ❞

❝ forgive me, i’m kind of a dreamer, but… isn’t that why we do it? so we can make a difference? ❞

❝ ah. young love. takes me back, you know? ❞

❝ no one has ever seen him. it’s like he’s invisible or something. ❞

❝ don’t forget to leave out some cookies. ❞

❝ you just sit there, be all magical and awesome. ❞

❝ okay, let’s make a deal. if i teach you something, will you get out of here? please? ❞

❝ can you teach me more? ❞

❝ this is good teamwork here. ❞

❝ trust me. you do not want to be on the naughty list. ❞

❝ did you know that arson is down 70%? ❞

❝ it’s like everyone’s gone mad or something. ❞

❝ a true selfless act always sparks another. ❞

❝ well, look who’s suddenly a chatterbox! tell me, what made you squander all those words into that nugget of wisdom? ❞

❝ i’ve been around long enough to know that everyone is out to get something. ❞

❝ what’s in it for you? ❞

❝ what are you doing at our ambush? ❞

❝ you’re not gonna believe what i saw last night! ❞

❝ say, have you heard the one about the one-legged man who walks into a bar? ❞

❝ can you please get off my porch? you’re trespassing. ❞

❝ oh, forget it. the mood is gone. ❞

❝ i’m saying it’s time to join forces against a common enemy. i’m saying we need a truce. ❞

❝ this is gonna take a lot of work. ❞

❝ work with me here. picture the possibilities. ❞

❝ wait! don’t touch that! ❞

❝ bad night, huh? well, join the club. ❞

❝ what am i supposed to do? stay in this little town forever, surrounded by crazy people, never wanting anything more? ❞

❝ back home, i’ve got pretty much everything. but here, i’m just… another irrelevant, pointless nobody. ❞

❝ hey. you’re a pretty good listener, you know? ❞

❝ who wants some hot cocoa? ❞

❝ i wasn’t smiling. i was squinting. from the sun. ❞

❝ even now… sometimes… it almost feels like she’s still… ❞

❝ i thought i’d never feel this again. and i have you to thank for it, my friend. so… thank you. ❞

❝ you know what? no homework. am i the best teacher ever or what? ❞

❝ how did you pay for this? ❞

❝ let’s, um… let’s talk outside. it’s a little cramped in here. ❞

❝ please, i can explain. ❞

❝ best leave it alone, i say. i’m sure it’s nothing that could fester and eventually become a source of resentment and regret. ❞

❝ i think i may have missed my boat. ❞

❝ so i told him. i told him everything. and then he turned to me, and he said… he’d never been more proud of me. and he hugged me. can you believe that? ❞

❝ i could really use a hand here. ❞

❝ really? you’re gonna go for the guilt trip now? ❞

❝ sure. i’ll tell you what. let’s continue discussing what a horrible person i am while i most likely break my neck trying to save the children’s toys, why don’t we? ❞

❝ we’re dead! we’re dead! we’re dead! ❞

❝ i’m still proud of you, you hear me? ❞

❝ it’s not worth it! are you crazy? ❞

❝ does that mean the feud is back on? ❞

❝ i think you hit your head pretty hard, dear. you should lie back down. ❞

❝ kids talk, you know? ❞

❝ it was a simple plan, but then you showed up and made it complicated. as usual. ❞

❝ so, all this was for nothing? ❞

❝ wake up! you have to see this! ❞

❝ poetic, don’t you think? ❞

❝ any chance for a hot cup of coffee for your neighborhood mailman? ❞

❝ what? you don’t like it? i think it looks good on me, don’t you? ❞

❝ no goodbye. no explanation. nothing. it was as if he had just… faded away. ❞

❝ i stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago. ❞

[brxkcnengineer]

aches and pains … sentence starters

tw for chronic illness / chronic pain and body dysmorphia 

“Shit, it hurts!”

“I’m used to it hurting.”

“It’s nothing. It just hurts, again.”

“I just can’t ever get comfortable.”

“My whole body just feels… wrong.”

“No, it’s normal pain. I’m used to it.”

“I wish these scars would just go away…”

“It hurts too much to stand up, I need to sit.”

“I’m tired of feeling off all the time, that’s all.”

“I think I need a hot shower and some painkillers.”

“It doesn’t even feel like this body is… me, anymore.”

“God, I wish I could be healthy for one day. Just one.”

“No, it doesn’t really hurt today. It’s just uncomfortable.”

It’s a bad day, again. I might need some help getting up.”

“It just feels like there’s something in me that’s not… me.”

“I don’t even remember what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep.”

“What’s it like waking up and NOT always hurting? Must be nice.”

“Man, if I hurt this much already, it’s really gonna suck to get older.”

“I need a hand up. If I start crying, don’t stop, it’s manageable pain.”

“I’m only (age)! I shouldn’t have the aches of a 90 year old woman.”

“I feel like a burden. I wish I was healthy so no one has to look after me.”

“This doesn’t even feel like a body, anymore. It’s just a big ball of pain and ick.”

“It feels like my body’s never… right. Like there’s always something wrong with it.”

“I don’t want to stay in bed, ‘cause my brain’ll tell me I’m lazy. But, it hurts too much to stand up today.”

“I don’t want to have to ask for help. I wish I could just do these things by myself, but my body won’t let me.”

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

Fitz watched her as she seemed to start breaking down. She ran her hand over her face, and he could hear the tears in her voice. He wanted to reach out, wanted to wipe away her tears, hold her in his arms and try to comfort her.

“Nnn… next,” he started to say, clearing his throat and trying to stop that rasping sound every time he spoke. “One… ste… step… time,” he mumbled, his voice breaking.

His hand shook, his fingers brushing against her knuckles, trying to bring her some comfort. “I’m n-not go… goin’… anywhere, okay? But you… ta-take ca… care of… you t-too, yeah? Puh… promise… promise me?”

It was selfish and childish but she didn’t want one step at a time. She wanted things to go back to the way they were, to not have to suffer through a recovery period. They’d had their trials and tribulations before, and neither of them were without their fair share of problems, but this felt insurmountable.

“I promise,” she agreed, her voice weak. “I am, really, I’m just… it’s going to take more than an hour for my brain to really understand that you’re awake again.” Nine days had been a long time. In nine days, Fitz’s coma had become her new normal. She’d started to come to terms with knowing that she might never get to hear his voice again. She’d even imagined what if might be like if he never left the hospital. She’d tried to build up her walls so that if he left, she wouldn’t come crashing down. It was going to take some time to tear them down again, brick by brick.

“I think... think I’m still trying to understand it, too,” he murmured, lifting one shoulder to a shrug, the action slight and hardly noticeable. “Feels... fuzzy... ev-everythin’... feels... fuzzy...”

His thumb moved over her knuckles slowly, stopping at her ring and brushing over the diamond nestled there. “I... heard your voice,” he said, his own voice low. “Sometimes... s’like y’were... ca-call... callin’ me... or like... like w-we were... opposite sigh... sides of... thick wall, jus’... try-tryin’ t’talk t’each other...”

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

The kiss to his cheek spread warmth through his veins, and he reached up, his palm brushing against her cheek in response. There was a redness to her cheeks as well, a faint blush painting her features.

His other hand hovered over his tablet, over the little buttons waiting to be pressed, to say something, but he didn’t. His fingers twitched, and his eyes met hers, searching the deep hazel hues looking back at him.

Fitz’s lips parted, mouth open to say something, anything, to actually voice the words, but he faltered at the last moment, one palm still on her cheek. His fingers tapped on the screen, his eyes hardly leaving hers longer than a millisecond.

“Is it too formal to ask to kiss you properly?”

She supposed that was the answer to her question. She blushed again, not used to formalities when it came to kissing, but nodded, then shook her head, and finally sighed. This was going nowhere. “I mean… yes, you can kiss me, Fitz.”

She stayed exactly where she was, down at his level, his hand warm on her cheek. It wasn’t shaking, she noticed, but she didn’t know when it had stopped. It was sweet that he’d asked to kiss her, sweet that he was looking at her like she’d hung the stars in the sky specifically for him. Daisy had been right: she really liked him. She really, really liked him. It didn’t make much sense on paper, a scientist and a piano player, but it made sense in her head.

Her blush only grew deeper, and he was sure his did, too. His palm stayed on her cheek, his fingers brushing gently at a stray lock of hair that had fallen down past her eyes. He took a breath, leaning in to kiss her, slowly, gently, a tenderness to his every move.

Fitz was sure that, in that moment, he could’ve stood from his wheelchair and run around the world. He felt like he was floating, like he was flying a million miles above earth. He didn’t want this kiss to ever end, not if he could help it.

But they had to breathe at some point, and he pulled back, his ears burning red and his eyes like dinner plates, wider than they’d ever been around her. He was certain she could hear his heartbeat, thumping against his ribs as fast as a runaway train.

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

His stomach turned to butterflies when she spoke, and he could feel the blush spreading up his neck, his ears turning red. “I’m glad you feel that way around me,” he wrote. “Lots of people feel like they have to pretend when they see me, that what they feel is outweighed, but you’re so different and wonderful.”

His eyes drifted for a moment, then went back to his tablet, typing carefully. “I’m really glad you showed up at the bar and asked me to play your favorite song that night.”

He moved one hand, reaching for hers and taking it carefully in his own, giving it a tiny tug to pull her closer, pressing his lips to her knuckles softly in a light kiss.

Fitz was cute when he blushed. She was sure she was blushing now, too. Had anyone ever called her wonderful before? She couldn’t remember an instance of it.

She waited patiently as he typed, glancing into the telescope once more for another look and pulling away when the voice began to read for him. It was unclear what had led her to the bar that night, or to request a song, which she didn’t normally do. Maybe it had been fate or kismet or any other synonym. Maybe it had been pure luck. Either way, she was glad it had happened.

“Me too.”

She watched as he pulled her hand up to kiss the back of it, smiling softly as he did. She wanted to kiss him properly, but could she? Would he even like that? She settled for bending down to press a kiss to his cheek, a happy middle ground.

The kiss to his cheek spread warmth through his veins, and he reached up, his palm brushing against her cheek in response. There was a redness to her cheeks as well, a faint blush painting her features.

His other hand hovered over his tablet, over the little buttons waiting to be pressed, to say something, but he didn’t. His fingers twitched, and his eyes met hers, searching the deep hazel hues looking back at him.

Fitz’s lips parted, mouth open to say something, anything, to actually voice the words, but he faltered at the last moment, one palm still on her cheek. His fingers tapped on the screen, his eyes hardly leaving hers longer than a millisecond.

“Is it too formal to ask to kiss you properly?”

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

Fitz frowned when she apologized, when she looked away from him and wouldn’t meet his gaze. Carefully, uneasily, he squeezed her hand, trying to get her attention. He let his thumb brush slowly over her knuckles, stopping at the ring he’d given her only a few weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime.

He opened his mouth, trying his best to form the words he wanted. “Cah… can…” He grimaced, his voice hoarse. “Tell mm… me truh… troo… truth.” It took a moment for the words to come out, and he felt breathless by the time he’d managed the broken sentence.

He let his eyes close for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts before he spoke once more. “I… und… under… stand. I-it’s… nn… nuh… not… easy.”

The truth. She hadn’t been lying, per se. It had been a long couple of weeks. But there wasn’t any way to tell him all the fears in her mind without simply pouring them out like a waterfall, and that wouldn’t have done either of them any good.

“It’s not easy,” she echoed. “I don’t know… what to say other than that.” She rubbed a hand over her face again, wishing she knew how to navigate the waters in front of them. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I don’t know what’s next, and I… don’t like not knowing what’s next.”

Fitz watched her as she seemed to start breaking down. She ran her hand over her face, and he could hear the tears in her voice. He wanted to reach out, wanted to wipe away her tears, hold her in his arms and try to comfort her.

“Nnn... next,” he started to say, clearing his throat and trying to stop that rasping sound every time he spoke. “One... ste... step... time,” he mumbled, his voice breaking.

His hand shook, his fingers brushing against her knuckles, trying to bring her some comfort. “I’m n-not go... goin’... anywhere, okay? But you... ta-take ca... care of... you t-too, yeah? Puh... promise... promise me?”

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

FItz gave her a tiny nod as she squeezed his hand, promising she’d be back in just a moment. A tired smile curled up on his lips as he watched her go, disappearing behind the bathroom door in the corner of the hospital room. The others were talking, a conversation he wasn’t really following, and before he could think of how much time might have passed, Jemma was back again, her hand held out to him.

“I c-could… w-wo… work… at a zoo,” he mumbled, his fingers brushing over her knuckles. His smile grew a tiny bit. “Wi-with… monkeys. Be a… monkey feed… feeder… person…”

“I could see it,” Daisy mused, offering a little smile in return. She put her hand back on Jemma’s shoulder, giving it another squeeze. “Hey, Daniel and I are gonna go back to his room, but you know we’ll come back if you need anything, okay? I’m serious.”

No. No, Daisy couldn’t leave. If Daisy left, Fitz would know how fragile she was. She tried to catch Daisy’s eyes but it didn’t work. She wouldn’t say it out loud, either, so it seemed they were stuck. She nodded, watching as their friends left until finally it was just the two of them.

This was terrifying. She hated every moment of this, every single one. Finally she sighed, reaching up a hand to rub her face. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, her eyes averted. “It’s just been a long couple of weeks.” There, that was perfectly diplomatic, wasn’t it?

Fitz frowned when she apologized, when she looked away from him and wouldn’t meet his gaze. Carefully, uneasily, he squeezed her hand, trying to get her attention. He let his thumb brush slowly over her knuckles, stopping at the ring he’d given her only a few weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime.

He opened his mouth, trying his best to form the words he wanted. “Cah... can...” He grimaced, his voice hoarse. “Tell mm... me truh... troo... truth.” It took a moment for the words to come out, and he felt breathless by the time he’d managed the broken sentence.

He let his eyes close for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts before he spoke once more. “I... und... under... stand. I-it’s... nn... nuh... not... easy.”

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

He grinned. “I’m lighter than I look and all it really took was a thump on the back and I stopped choking on the lettuce,” he wrote, before the conversation changed, before she responded in kind with a blush on her cheeks.

Well, I… I really like you, too.

“I didn’t want to be too forward,” he wrote, slower now. “But I’ve been wanting to say that all night.” There was a hesitation in his hands, how they hovered over the screen. “You didn’t know me before… but you see past everything. The chair, the tablet. You’re the first person to see me in a long time. I really like you, and I…” His jaw shifted, again, the same as he’d been doing all night, and he huffed, fingers tapping at the screen once more.

“Thank you, for seeing me. It means a lot, and I really love spending time with you, Jemma.”

She rolled her eyes as he teased her. Truthfully, it still scared her to think about the museum incident. She tried not to if she could help it, because it always made her remember how terrified she’d been.

“Funny,” she said quietly. “I feel the same about you. I know I don’t have a chair to see past, or anything, but… I don’t know. I feel like I can be myself around you. I don’t feel that way about most people.”

He was sweet, she thought. She didn’t know exactly where this would end up, but she did know that however it went, she and Fitz were likely to remain friends.

“I love spending time with you, too.”

His stomach turned to butterflies when she spoke, and he could feel the blush spreading up his neck, his ears turning red. “I’m glad you feel that way around me,” he wrote. “Lots of people feel like they have to pretend when they see me, that what they feel is outweighed, but you’re so different and wonderful.”

His eyes drifted for a moment, then went back to his tablet, typing carefully. “I’m really glad you showed up at the bar and asked me to play your favorite song that night.”

He moved one hand, reaching for hers and taking it carefully in his own, giving it a tiny tug to pull her closer, pressing his lips to her knuckles softly in a light kiss.

[brxkcnengineer]

biochemiist​:

brxkcnengineer​:

She stepped back again from the telescope, the pair of them taking turns looking up at the stars, different constellations he pointed out and described on his tablet. 

When she spoke next, mentioning how much she liked the date, he grinned. “I’m glad,” he tapped onto the tablet. “I was worried that having the whole place to ourselves would be intimidating or terrifying and you would start running for the hills.��

He inched back, winking at her. “I.” He hesitated, his hand hovering over the screen of the tablet before he started to type again. “I really like you.”

“Oh, it’s terribly intimidating,” she admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m intimidated as hell. I mean, what if you have another incident like the museum and it really is just me? You’d die, Fitz. We both know that. I’m not that kind of doctor.” She was teasing of course, a grin on her face to prove it.

She’d been unsure what to say next when suddenly Fitz spoke for her. “Yeah?” She asked, a slight blush on her cheeks. “Well, I… I really like you, too.”

He grinned. “I’m lighter than I look and all it really took was a thump on the back and I stopped choking on the lettuce,” he wrote, before the conversation changed, before she responded in kind with a blush on her cheeks.

Well, I... I really like you, too.

“I didn’t want to be too forward,” he wrote, slower now. “But I’ve been wanting to say that all night.” There was a hesitation in his hands, how they hovered over the screen. “You didn’t know me before... but you see past everything. The chair, the tablet. You’re the first person to see me in a long time. I really like you, and I...” His jaw shifted, again, the same as he’d been doing all night, and he huffed, fingers tapping at the screen once more.

“Thank you, for seeing me. It means a lot, and I really love spending time with you, Jemma.”