brylskiartfolio - Tumblr blog

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Mental illness can be our own worse enemy; it follows you around no matter where you go and if you cannot control it you may even hurt those you love. Followed is a take on a horror story where there isn’t a monster or murderer after you, but yourself. The film explores my personal experience and internal struggle with the inevitability of causing pain. It is easy to blame others for the way you act, but it can also be just as easy to blame yourself, both are harmful when misplaced. Followed explores the moments where you take on all the blame and begin to view yourself as a monster. These moments may go for a time, but they will always return and you can never escape them.

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Mine and @mmayowl instillation, titled “Error” for the Remix Holiday Bash art show.

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Error

“Error” is a sculptural piece using computer and other screens of varying heights and sizes, to make an overbearing tower of technology that is looming over and watching the viewer. It is our goal to create a work of art that recreates the feelings of anxiety and paranoia that occur both while using technology (such as being watching by webcams or being hacked into), as well as in everyday life that occurs with anxiety disorders, and make this idea relatable to a more general audience. Every screen will be playing the same, ominous glitched gif (that reads Error/Terror and “I see you”), or a static gif. Some of these screens will be broken or cracked.  The instillation will take up about a corner of the room and will be best viewed in darkness, though dim light will also work. This piece is heavily inspired by comic book villains (mainly Joker), and their over the top displays and constant watch over the hero. For example this:

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Webspinna

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/thunderNoiseGenerator.php?c=0&l=7575615044454319354100 -start & end

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/northernLightsDroneGenerator.php -start & fade out, leaving only thunder

http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/musaic_box - (needs manual start) bring in for a minute, fade out (if possible, or end during lout demon sound)

http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/sheep_beats - start during music box, end once chiptune begins

http://soundbible.com/tags-creepy.html (scary demon haunting) - once during music box, once during chiptune

http://freemusicarchive.org/genre/Chiptune/ (the black frame) -play duration, close tab once faded or new song will begin

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/churchAtmosphereSoundGenerator.php?c=0&l=9999999999009999994100 -fade in once chiptune starts, leave to fade out after song

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/dungeonRPGSoundscapeGenerator.php - use if extra sound is needed or wanted?

don’t play when away from tab:

http://www.freewebarcade.com/game/13-jellyfish/

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Oct 9th

Fair use and Copyright:

Open source is necessary for us, as artists to have access to the maximum amount of resources that allow us to create the best art possible in order to create culture and build upon existing art and culture. It is also necessary to parody or create satirical content in order to bring about social commentary and critiques, bringing about change in our society. In not having to seek permission to use or alter sources, this allows the process to become more accessible to a wider range of people. This eliminates the potential of obstacles such as a language barrier or financial limitations. It is necessary to have this “free culture” to continue creating new artworks and culture. Without it, nothing new would ever be made, or that culture would be monopolized (which is already happening). 

Although the lines are more blurred due to the internet and networking culture, copyright still exists within it. In the Flash Remix of a lecture by Lawrence Lessig, he argues that due to the internet and current laws, it’s near impossible to use things. He references a case where a clip of The Simpsons was used in the background of a documentary and regardless of the creators own opinion, would have to pay a huge amount of money or change their movie. While there is this illusion that things are more free, it is actually the opposite. The nature of the internet, however is open source and things created on it should follow that pattern, at least, for the most part. This however can also be said for all works of art, material or not, and so you could say that nothing should be so heavily fought to have a copyright, considering that everything is influenced by previous works.

The labor an artist puts into their work is irrelevant towards the ability of another artist repurposing it. When you take something, for example code that someone spend time making, and tweak it for your own use, it should in a sense be yours, as long as you also understand that people can do the same thing to your work. It should fall into copyleft, rather than copyright. It’s not the content that should have precedence, but the creative idea. No one else had the same idea in the way the artist did, and that is what matters. However, as CAA Code of Best Practices in Fair Use for the Visual Arts, intent can play a part, and having a point with the choice you made can play a role in whether your art is acceptable or defendable (at least in court cases). In general you should have the intent to create something new, or to expand on something existing. Though this is where the lines get blurry.

On Tumblr, for example, there are many fan communities that exhibit this. Fans take original source material (such as shows, books, movies, ect.) and create works of art and fiction that are directly related to the source. An artist may create something that inspires another fan to write a short story or vise versa and this creates a community where people are creating lots of works based on each other and the source materials. Because of this open community artist are free to create and express ideas. This allows more art to be made without restriction of one’s intellectual property. This can also push artists to create better works, because anyone can make anything and anyone can view your work. If we carried this structure into other areas of art it would be beneficial to society because it would change how we view source materials. In this system you could be getting the best version and a wider variety of art because it allows people to expand on existing works. The risk is that the original creators could lose money or fame, or become undervalued. This could also change the original meaning or intent of the piece. This is already happening but it could be worse with more freedoms.

On a regular basis I create my own fan content. Sometimes my artwork challenges the source material, especially relating to LGBT representation in media. In creating something I am careful to not copy an idea or work, and if I do recreate I make my influences or sources visible. 

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Borges and I

“Someone and I” The other one, the one who could be anyone now, is the one who’s there when I’m not. I walk through my day as normal and stop for a moment, perhaps too anxiously, to look at the people around me. I know of them when I look in the mirror or when I discuss the previous evening with my wife to be. I like everything they will like; though I am uncertain of which interests they will have. They might say that ours is a mutual relationship; I live, let myself go on living, so that they may have a chance to do the same, and their existence justifies mine. It is difficult to admit, but the longer they stay, the less I know myself. Little by little I am taken over by them and even my love enjoys their company too. Though I am aware of the reasons why.  The other one will remain, though in different people, but all in me (If it is true I am not the other and the other is not I), but I will recognize myself less each time someone new comes. Sometimes I say I am done, that I am the only me and there will never be another with my face, but there always is. I fear I will never escape them, thus my life will only half belong to me.

I do not know which of us has written this post.

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Exercises in Style

Instant Messenger 5:08:20 PM] Me: So I saw this weird guy on the bus, he was like wearing a really weird hat and stuff. He randomly started yelling at the guy next to him. 5:08:28 PM] Them: Oh jeez, poor guy. 5:19:42 PM] Me: Yeah but then he just stopped yelling and sat down somewhere else. 5:10:50 PM] Them: Did anything happen after that? 5:12:10 PM] Me: Not on the bus, but a few hours later I saw that guy again and one of his friends was telling him his coat needed a new button. It was really crazy seeing him again. 5:13:33 PM] Them: That’s really random, haha.

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“Loading...” (HTML, CSS, JavaScript) is a conceptual piece where something we are all used to seeing all the time (loading screens) becomes ominous and almost stressful.

I wanted to create the illusion of an ordinary loading screen, that eventually starts to take on a more human like voice, and becomes more and more intense or threatening as it continues, to the point of error and must reboot. This would parallel and exacerbate the feelings of anxiety that come from a screen that just won’t load. It also was inspired by my own personal feelings of anxiety towards abandonment and inadequacies, to the point where sometimes I feel as though I am loading continuously, until I crash. 

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VDMX

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For my project I wanted to show identity through different video games character creators. I chose to display them hanging up in frames as a sort of sarcastic family portrait- all of myself. My hope is that my project has both a funny and a serious side. Just as you create your identity through life experiences, video games give you a chance to create your identity physically- though it is limited. 

Though less obvious just from viewing the art itself, I also wanted to show the limitations of these creators, and how none of these really look like me, despite often the intention of the games being that you play as you. Almost every single game that exists forces you to pick a gender, even when it has little to do with the game play or story. There is no reason for it and as a nonbinary person I find it at minimum annoying. The exception is the Sims, which while in their newest game still forces you to choose sex, allows for a variety of options within that to change (such as if they can become pregnant or not or if they stand or not when using the bathroom). There are the most physical limitations in the body, which despite most of these being portrait only, you can tell that all of these are fairly thin characters with a very average build. The exception again is the creator from the Sims, which has incorporated customizable body types.

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Mental disorders and illnesses are a part of my life, and fueled by anger and exhaustion I had wanted to create something to show the truth behind several of them. With the help of my partner, who is always a source of inspiration for me, I was able to these “characters”. Each one represents a different mental disorder, or group of disorders. The text on the outside are stereotypes, or and more often actual things that have been said to me or others with similar experiences. The text on the inside are the truth, things that we feel and/or do. The designs themselves were based on initial drawings from my partner, and were then modified. This gives them the almost cute appearance, as her art style is very round and cartoon-like. I painted the plywood with acrylic paints, using colors that I felt embodied the disorders. Each piece has several uses of symbolism to further my ideas, such as depression not having many things written in it, because it is almost impossible to do things while depressed. Similarly Anxiety disorders has almost every space filled because my thoughts are constantly racing while my anxiety is high (which is always). 

I am not on the Autism Spectrum and so I did not find it appropriate for me to write things on the wood or canvas, and instead it was my partner who did so (as she is on the spectrum). Lastly, Personality disorders, focusing heavily on Borderline is shown with a distorted head and no face, because people with this disorder have little to no sense of self. In my own experience I have found that usually characters I like become part of who I am. There are several other details that I did not mention but I hope that others will see my work and understand a little better what it is like to have these mental disorders.

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Laser cut from wood and painted and mounted on canvas panels, and then the final pieces with finished text

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The illustrator files for my first project

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Process pictures for my first project. Concept designs.