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What are tell-tale signs you are an INFJ?

19 Signs That You’re an INFJ

1. From a young age, you felt different from the people around you

When you were young, you had plenty of friends but you never felt like you truly fit in. Sometimes you faked being more like them so they would accept you, but deep inside you felt that it’s not right.

2. You want to know what’s really going on in people’s lives

Not just trivial stuff like what they did this weekend or what they bought on their latest shopping trip. You want to dig deep and get at the things that no one else sees. What does the person in front of you really think? How does this person really feel? The fake facade they put up for other people doesn’t fool you.

3. Plans

You feel more comfortable having a loose plan for things than you do completely winging it.

4. You’re social, but you are not really social

You can be both incredibly shy, quiet, and withdrawn, as well as charming, fun, and hilarious. It’s all about the situation, your mood, and energy levels, and most important, the people you’re with.

5. How you handle problems

When someone comes to you with a problem, you usually don’t give them advice or your opinion unless they ask. Instead, you ask them questions to help them better understand the situation and their own feelings about it. Sometimes you tell a story of a time when something similar happened to you, in the hope that they’ll draw their own lesson. You feel like you can usually see the path they should take, but you don’t want them to do it just because you told them to. You want it to be their decision.

6. There are limits to your introversion

You are an introvert and you like alone time, but you can’t be alone for too long. Eventually you need to reunite with your people. “Your people” are a handful of good friends who truly get you. It can be just one person as well. Deep conversations with these people are priceless, and hanging out with them can actually boost your energy.

7. The door slam

You’ve been known to suddenly cut people out of your life when they’ve hurt you one too many times. It’s not that you enjoy cutting people out, rather, you do this simply to protect yourself. Even though you may look like you have it together on the outside, you’re extremely sensitive inwardly, and you’re especially sensitive to other people’s words and actions.

8. You can be a people-pleaser

Sometimes you try so hard to make other people happy that you forget to make yourself happy.

9. Empathy

You often feel like you see precisely what someone else is feeling, and you believe you know what they need deep down. You’re not always right, but you tend to be more perceptive than most.

10. You have a destiny

You feel like you’re destined for so much more than just dragging yourself to your 9-5 job to pay the bills. You want to help people and change the world & not just get a paycheck. The problem is you either don’t know what your “glorious purpose” is, or you have an inkling, but you don’t know how to achieve it.

11. Always striving

You almost always have this sinking feeling like you could be doing better with your life. This results in you constantly have secret self-improvement projects going on, like learning how to cook healthy meals, setting better boundaries, or getting better at articulating yourself. Sometimes you push yourself too hard as you attempt to achieve your “perfect” life.

12. Your defence mechanism

Sometimes you turn to people-pleasing to protect yourself. You’re sensitive, so you can get really bothered when someone criticizes you or is disappointed in you. They can’t criticize you if you make them happy.

13. You sense things

You often immediately sense the mood of a room when you walk into it. Likewise, you often absorb the feelings of the people around you. If they’re excited, you get excited. If they’re anxious, you get anxious, too. You tend to gravitate toward calm, centered people so you don’t have to deal with as much emotional garbage.

14. Nothing but class

You’re drawn to high-quality things, like good food, nice clothes, and anything else that has good craftsmanship. As much as you hate to admit it, the way things look is important to you. You like being surrounded by beauty, and you tend to have sophisticated, refined tastes. But you’re a minimalist at heart. You’d rather have one or two really nice shirts than ten mediocre ones.

15. Your secret feelings

You care deeply about the people in your life, but they’ll probably never know just how much you care, because you keep your feelings mostly to yourself. You can have trouble articulating your emotions, even though you feel them intensely.

16. You care a lot

You’re usually thoughtful, conscientious, and considerate. Other people who are not as conscientious can seem callous and even cruel.

17. Books

You love learning, especially when it comes to psychology, self-improvement, spirituality, and certain sciences.

18. Your head is way beyond the clouds

When everyone else is gossiping, discussing celebs, or talking about other trivial things, you often find yourself thinking about outer space, time travel, human nature, the meaning of life, and other more epic topics like entrepreneurship. You rarely try to steer the conversation in that direction, though, because you don’t think other people will be interested.

19. You didn’t ask to be like this

Other people see you as wise, insightful, and almost spiritual. They often come to you for advice and emotional support. You relish your role as the “wise one,” and you like being needed. But sometimes it becomes too much. You’re an introvert, for crying out loud, and sometimes you just wish everyone would solve their own problems and leave you alone for a while.

Source: @6ejt

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What are tell-tale signs you are an INFJ?

19 Signs That You’re an INFJ

1. From a young age, you felt different from the people around you

When you were young, you had plenty of friends but you never felt like you truly fit in. Sometimes you faked being more like them so they would accept you, but deep inside you felt that it’s not right.

2. You want to know what’s really going on in people’s lives

Not just trivial stuff like what they did this weekend or what they bought on their latest shopping trip. You want to dig deep and get at the things that no one else sees. What does the person in front of you really think? How does this person really feel? The fake facade they put up for other people doesn’t fool you.

3. Plans

You feel more comfortable having a loose plan for things than you do completely winging it.

4. You’re social, but you are not really social

You can be both incredibly shy, quiet, and withdrawn, as well as charming, fun, and hilarious. It’s all about the situation, your mood, and energy levels, and most important, the people you’re with.

5. How you handle problems

When someone comes to you with a problem, you usually don’t give them advice or your opinion unless they ask. Instead, you ask them questions to help them better understand the situation and their own feelings about it. Sometimes you tell a story of a time when something similar happened to you, in the hope that they’ll draw their own lesson. You feel like you can usually see the path they should take, but you don’t want them to do it just because you told them to. You want it to be their decision.

6. There are limits to your introversion

You are an introvert and you like alone time, but you can’t be alone for too long. Eventually you need to reunite with your people. “Your people” are a handful of good friends who truly get you. It can be just one person as well. Deep conversations with these people are priceless, and hanging out with them can actually boost your energy.

7. The door slam

You’ve been known to suddenly cut people out of your life when they’ve hurt you one too many times. It’s not that you enjoy cutting people out, rather, you do this simply to protect yourself. Even though you may look like you have it together on the outside, you’re extremely sensitive inwardly, and you’re especially sensitive to other people’s words and actions.

8. You can be a people-pleaser

Sometimes you try so hard to make other people happy that you forget to make yourself happy.

9. Empathy

You often feel like you see precisely what someone else is feeling, and you believe you know what they need deep down. You’re not always right, but you tend to be more perceptive than most.

10. You have a destiny

You feel like you’re destined for so much more than just dragging yourself to your 9-5 job to pay the bills. You want to help people and change the world & not just get a paycheck. The problem is you either don’t know what your “glorious purpose” is, or you have an inkling, but you don’t know how to achieve it.

11. Always striving

You almost always have this sinking feeling like you could be doing better with your life. This results in you constantly have secret self-improvement projects going on, like learning how to cook healthy meals, setting better boundaries, or getting better at articulating yourself. Sometimes you push yourself too hard as you attempt to achieve your “perfect” life.

12. Your defence mechanism

Sometimes you turn to people-pleasing to protect yourself. You’re sensitive, so you can get really bothered when someone criticizes you or is disappointed in you. They can’t criticize you if you make them happy.

13. You sense things

You often immediately sense the mood of a room when you walk into it. Likewise, you often absorb the feelings of the people around you. If they’re excited, you get excited. If they’re anxious, you get anxious, too. You tend to gravitate toward calm, centered people so you don’t have to deal with as much emotional garbage.

14. Nothing but class

You’re drawn to high-quality things, like good food, nice clothes, and anything else that has good craftsmanship. As much as you hate to admit it, the way things look is important to you. You like being surrounded by beauty, and you tend to have sophisticated, refined tastes. But you’re a minimalist at heart. You’d rather have one or two really nice shirts than ten mediocre ones.

15. Your secret feelings

You care deeply about the people in your life, but they’ll probably never know just how much you care, because you keep your feelings mostly to yourself. You can have trouble articulating your emotions, even though you feel them intensely.

16. You care a lot

You’re usually thoughtful, conscientious, and considerate. Other people who are not as conscientious can seem callous and even cruel.

17. Books

You love learning, especially when it comes to psychology, self-improvement, spirituality, and certain sciences.

18. Your head is way beyond the clouds

When everyone else is gossiping, discussing celebs, or talking about other trivial things, you often find yourself thinking about outer space, time travel, human nature, the meaning of life, and other more epic topics like entrepreneurship. You rarely try to steer the conversation in that direction, though, because you don’t think other people will be interested.

19. You didn’t ask to be like this

Other people see you as wise, insightful, and almost spiritual. They often come to you for advice and emotional support. You relish your role as the “wise one,” and you like being needed. But sometimes it becomes too much. You’re an introvert, for crying out loud, and sometimes you just wish everyone would solve their own problems and leave you alone for a while.

Source: @6ejt

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BPD Symptoms and Features

**please note: the following post was originally posted by kellyann-graceful-warrior and has been reposted here by me and bolded and italicized to reflect which symptoms i feel apply to myself**

BPD is a chronic mental disorder of emotional dysregulation+hypersensitivity due to factors such as:

-A result of an overactive autonomic nervous system (fight or flight- functions associated to panic, anxiety, anger reactions, etc) -An under-active parasympathetic nervous system (The system that is responsible to regulate the autonomic nervous system) -Less active and smaller in volume abnormalities in the limbic system which has functions linked to: emotional reactions, memory, decision making, motivation, behavior, learning and developmental ability, thought pattern, instincts, psychotic symptoms, seizures, and senses/the way the body perceives external stimuli. -Reduced volume in frontal lobe which has functions linked to: decision making, communication responses, ability to comprehend consequences, emotional-based memories and triggers, and relations to people, events and situations. -Abnormal blood flow to parts of the brain that control emotions, resulting in one to be more reactive -Emotional reactions firing off 20% longer -A ton of other factors Here are the 9 main symptoms noted in the criteria and research. 1. Extreme reactions to real or perceived/feared abandonment, rejection, or criticism 2. Splitting and idealization/devaluation 3. Identity disturbance- impoverished self image/self esteem and sense of self, dysphoria, despising ones self, and extreme instability and no direction towards the future, aspirations, goals, [career] plans, values, etc 4. Impulsive behavior- a sense of urgency to relieve intensity of emotions from stimuli, often self damaging (spending sprees, binge eating, steal, substance abuse, etc). 5. Reoccurring suicidal behavior/ideations (gestures, extensive thoughts, planning, role playing) and self-harm 6. Intense rapid cycling of affective instability due to hypersensitivity+dysregulation reactions 7. Depressive symptoms- chronic feelings of emptiness, frequent feelings of being miserable, shame, self-inferiority, and extreme difficulty recovering from such feelings 8. Intense anger and/or aggression reactions- frequent anger easily triggered from incidents 9. Paranoia/panic and dissociation reactions (often in response to stresses/anxieties) [People with BPD may often experience reactions/episodes of psychosis- paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, body dysmorphic figures, etc, as well]

Then there are hundreds of other symptoms and features to this very complex, and unfortunately, highly stigmatized and misunderstood disorder. Here are a few indicated in research. (Note- One with the disorder may display some or most of these, but nothing is guaranteed as each person with the disorder is an individual, so don’t use these as assumptions. Some may not have the same symptoms as others, and no person with it is portrayed the same way. They are rather a guideline to mental health workers because they are often seen and developed from the disorder and symptoms). (ALSO NOTE- Others without it can obviously ‘display/relate’ to some of this from time to time once you take a look, but the reasoning, cause, severity, and pattern is different and this is a chronic disorder.Please note it’s completely different than that and that this post is just for awareness/education purposes since not many know about it- how to deal, what to expect, etc. Percentages show that 8/10 of these individuals attempt suicide, while 1/10 complete it. Stigma and assumptions don’t help, but awareness does. 10. Anxiety, nervousness 11. Headaches/migraines are common 12. Seizures 13. Higher nociception (pain tolerance)- Studies show alterations in pain processing in over 50% of those with BPD. The result of this comes from different systematic responses and antinociception and may be a result of long-term self harm behavior in some cases). 14. Distorted/irregular eating patterns- reduced food intake, impoverished diet, etc 15. Obsessive compulsive features- intrusive thoughts in the thought pattern/processes, repetitive behavior as a result of self harm, paranoia, distress, etc, and repetitive speech, to name a few 16. Self discipline/work orientation as a result of OCD features 17. Attachment 18. Extreme reckless-daring behavior 19. Baiting 20. Unstable relationships 21. “Always” and “Never” statements/reactions (splitting) 22. Sleep deprivation or irregular sleeping patterns 23. Voice changing 24. “Acting out” 25. Extreme curiosity and interest   26. Dependency 27. Sarcasm 28. Promiscuity 29. Mimicking/mirroring 30. Flashbacks 31. Nightmares   32. Difficulty processing information 33. Difficulty focusing and concentrating and poor attention span 34. Consistent/radical change of appearance 35. Certain feelings of fear, negativity, or rejection of authority/people of “high importance” in their mind. 36. Alluring/seductive behavior 37. Extreme need for acceptance 38. A need to prove themselves over and over as identity may be graded on a scale of what was done that very day 39. Extreme apathy, boredom, dullness, and indifference 40. ‘Flat affect”- lack of emotional reactivity and inability to express/show emotions due to depression, absence of emotional response 41. Creative thinking 42. Studies show some are able to read others easily from such hypersensitivity; however, often mistaking neutrality as anger probably as a result of symptoms 43. Isolation 44. Defensive 45. Magical thinking (assumed correlation, interconnection, etc) 46. Fantasizing 47. Panic attacks 48. Anxiety Attacks 49. Hypersensitivity to caffeine, alcohol, some sugars and foods. Often described as being “allergic” to such things as it causes reactions from hypersensitivity and symptoms. 50. Memory lapses- a result of dissociation, intense reactions, etc 51. Extreme perfectionism 52. Avoidance 53. Euphoric reactions 54. Detachment 55. Avoidance of eye contact 56. Difficulty transitioning with life aspects such as changes to plans and arrangements 57. Difficulty with awareness 58. Sensitivity to senses- light, sounds, temperatures, etc- from hypersensitivity   59. Resistance 60. Difficulty with decision making, poor decisions, and/or indecisiveness, insecurity 61. Difficulty completing tasks 62. “Rapid” or excessive speech

63. Restlessness, difficulty relaxing, feelings of “being on edge.”

64. Extreme sense of security, comfort, and connection with animals/nature and inanimate objects such as transitional objects

65. Undermining a goal, success, or relationship

66. Often occurs with PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) or worse reactions to menstrual cycles because of the hypersensitive and systematic changes

67. Extreme difficulty and lack of object consistency (inability to recall that people or objects are ‘still there,’ consistent, and reliable when they are not currently being physically seen/there and difficulty maintaining these feelings

68. Flight of ideas, racing thoughts, rapid thought patterns

69. Brief remission of symptoms in response to certain events (positive reactions)

70. Disrupted or delayed life aspects- education, relationships, jobs, etc

No particular order. If you may need a source, example, description/explanation for more understanding for any of these, feel free to ask :)

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Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

by Darian Rehder (someone who has BPD)  Things to Understand:  1. Their moods change a lot. This is not your fault most of the time. They just feel a lot, and when they’re attached to someone it can make their feelings stronger. It doesn’t mean that they feel all those things about you all the time. 

2. They probably think you’re going to leave them about every day, sometimes more often. If they ask you if you still like them, it’s because they honestly don’t know if you still do. They need to hear it often.

3. If they get randomly angry in the middle of something that you don’t think needs that kind of response, it is usually because something has triggered them. Learn what triggers the person you’re with, so you can both work to prevent it. 

4. Because they feel intense emotions, they also feel love and happiness at large proportions. This is great, because it means they really appreciate their relationships! 

5. Their minds are often on the most emotionally simulating things in their lives, because emotions this strong are hard to ignore. This means you’re probably on their mind a lot. 

6. They do not want to hurt you, if they truly love you. Sometimes when they get angry or depressed or anxious they feel like they need to hurt you or run away or that they don’t love you. This isn’t true, and they often regret or don’t stand by their emotional breakdowns after awhile. Sometimes immediately. 

Things You Can Do:

1. Validate their emotions. Never call them too emotional, needy, dramatic, intense, etc. even if they call themselves that. 

2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Chances are, they really do hold onto your words. 

3. If you are uncomfortable or need a break from them, which is okay, explain it in a way that makes them sure you aren’t going to leave and that you still love them or care about them. 

4. Do something that makes them feel loved and cared for.

5. If they’re in the midst of some negative emotion, don’t say anything judgmental, don’t tell them what to do, and don’t fight with them. This would be a good time to say something reassuring and kind with no judgmental or controlling undertones. If this doesn’t work and it seems to be going in a loop, refer to number three or continue to tell them how important they are to you. 

6. Remember that there are truths to everyone. Your person might feel like something is very sad, and it may not affect you at all. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong to feel that way. 

7. Spend lots of time with them! Spending time and using your actions is a good way to reassure someone of your love. 

8. Learn what they love and learn what really upsets them. It’s always good to know someone and work to avoid hurting them. They can do this for you too! 

9. Don’t take things to heart. I know this is hard, but when someone with BPD has a breakdown, they often say things that they don’t truly stand by in the end. When they apologize, they often mean it with their whole heart. 

10. NEVER ignore them, unless you absolutely have to. If you can’t talk or don’t want to talk, explain this to them instead of ignoring their messages. When you ignore them, they assume you are going to leave them or that something is wrong. 

Reasons Why Being with Someone Who Has BPD is NOT Bad

1. Their intense emotions are biological, in most cases. It’s the same thing as having less emotions. It is not a bad thing to feel deeply. 

2. They, most likely, love you with all their heart. BPD people have the biggest hearts and really will work to do nice things for you and make you feel loved. 

3. They are most likely loyal as hell, and will put a lot of time and energy into you. 

4. Like any mental illness, BPD is something people do not want to have. This fact will help you remember that they are not deliberately trying to hurt you in any way and really do wish they didn’t have BPD. This is why they ARE NOT ABUSIVE 

5. All relationships need work. Communicating and working together can actually strengthen the bond you two have. 

6. It can be helpful for someone with BPD to have a relationship so they can practice ways to manage their emotions and actions. Chances are, the longer you’re with them, the more comfortable they will be with you. 

7. They’re always there for you too! All people with BPD that I know, including myself, are very good at talking about issues and helping others with problems. If you want to talk, you can count on them to give you all of their effort to help. 

8. Imagine dating someone with no emotions. That’d be probably a lot harder! Appreciate the deepness of your person’s feelings. It can make life a lot easier! 

9. If they are in a relationship with you, it’s probably because they want to be with you. Keep this in mind when they start feeling negatively. 

10. It’s a relationship! That’s always fun. It will have challenges like all relationships, but remembering that you are with someone you love will always make it easier. 

-Darian 

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You thought it was over until you decided it’s not. One day you decided to put an end to everything and in that split moment, you decided No, you’re going to keep going because you know you are worth so much more. That’s what “;” stands for 

Get your ring here:  https://goo.gl/V6iTiU 👈🏼👈🏼

“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you, and the sentence is your life.“

To spread awareness, we decided to give away 300 our “Your Story Isn’t Over Yet” rings for ✨✨FREE✨✨ Just pay shipping and handling.

Get your ring here: https://goo.gl/V6iTiU 👈🏼👈🏼

Let this ring be a reminder of the good that you got through the bad and you’ll get through anything.

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