"Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you are going to do it. It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their yellow paint."
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maybe it would be easier if i had not felt, that it is possible to actually be THAT happy. because sometimes i think, that i exaggerate, that no one is really happy all the time, and that in fact, i am living a perfectly fine life now, and i should appretiate it more, which is still true, but. but i do know. that you can be completly happy. of course there are days youre mad, sad, annoyed. but in general. the happiness is as pure as you would dream of. so i dont know. maybe its a bad thing to have a good first relationship. because if it wouldve been a bad one, now, of course, after crying and healing just the same, i would have been completely 100% happy, that not only i got over it, but that its better than it was, because i dont have the negative feelings and i have all of my life (which i really like, and the stage im in) for my own. but i still havent forgotten. it is possible. if anyone ever wondered.
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“Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must”
- When Love Arrives / Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye
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