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Last, but not least, 5th entry

HEHEHEHEHE

I’ve done it again

Midnight.

Who am I?

This trip wouldn’t be complete without my ‘oh so reoccuring’, creativity-filled, sleep deprived, youtube powered, soon to be regretted, AM-timing, would it?

But I digress.

Who am I?

I sit here wondering what to tell you, reader.

I guess I am nothing but a humble speck of dust in the grand scheme of the universe. However, I am a pretty darn nice speck of dust if I do say so myself. ;)

I, the speck of dust, might be interesting some, so with that assumption, I shall begin. But before you must know, “to understand where you are, you must first look at where you’ve been”.

Born a son.

Born, Johan Alex Andersson.

Born to the newly-wed Vietnamese mum

Born to the retired musician, electrician dad trying to fill a home.

I’d like to imagine it was when stormy clouds filled the night sky, on a thunderous night, while rain created music as it hit the glass panes of the hospital room windows.

But I cannot say that.

I don’t remember how I was born.

I only know that of what my mother tells and she only remembers that I had a big head at the time.

That is my humble beginning, such as any other person I have come to know, birth, maybe not that interesting, maybe too graphic in some ways. But to look back on this is a reminder that we all have come from somewhere just as the person before you, and before them.

Now what would come next is something you’d have experienced too.

Baby. Child. Youth. Teenager. Coming of age. Adult. Growing Old.

Well, I haven’t really gotten that far. Who knows though, maybe you have.

So I continue, from when I was born, time passed and so did the many experiences slowly changing me to who I was becoming. Sleeping during kindergarten meals, climbing shack doors, playing with toy cars, and simply put, content. More time passes as I journey through the memories of homework, subjects, imagining escape during breaks in the enclosed forest of the school. Legos, home-cooked meals, early mornings as I was dropped off at school for when my parents started working each day. Where I had many of my firsts. My first crush, first relationship, first kiss, first love( don’t argue y'all, i know I was young but... ). My first time being told to grow up, first time realizing that I am growing, and might have to do just that. Phases following, trying to move on, move up, and mature. Relationships, hobbies, problems, conflicts, fights, midnight thoughts keeping me up, hidden in the dark of night, holding in tears I was supposed to never let see the light of day, for it was a weakness.

Life is filled with life-shaping experiences. That’s what life is in all. What shapes you unintentionally. What you choose. What you do, who you meet, where you’ve been, where you want to go, what you want to do, what you want to fight, what, when, who, why, and how. All of it, swirling around my head as I ponder who I am, as I make sense of it all, as I try to entertain and keep you here as well. How crazy. How wonderful. But how sad. How angering. How scary. How frightening. How vertebrae-chilling, goosebump causing, hair raisingly suspenseful. Anaphora and poetry, language and art.

To paint this long-time visit in pretty colors, fitting in a neat little box, as I make it so pleasant to look at. Expression. I guess that’s where I am now.

I’m tired, exhausted and overwhelmed so often nowadays. But still, oh so desperate to entertain, to keep fighting, to be who I can, to be who I want. To cry, to be happy, to find meaning, to create, to live.

Me. Johan Alex Andersson. The overinflated notion of maturity beyond belief, sitting on 16 years but feeling older. As I watch my Netflix series, my anime, play my games, listen to my music, do my homework, as I dream of me and her, me and him, me and them, I wonder… Who am I?

Well, I’m me.

I can’t give you the full picture... yet. I might have trust issues, I might not, but this is not a matter of that. I’m being as honest as I can, and the truth is can’t tell you what I don’t know. I’m at a crossroad. Something you probably recognize as well.

I know where I’ve been, but for me, it doesn’t tell me where I am.

I only know where I wish to go. My past. It tells me to cry when I’m sad. To look for love even though it might not last. To enjoy things despite knowing they have to end. To learn to express me in art and music. To constantly improve myself, help others, and be what I want the world to become. So this is not only me but also what I think has defined me and continues to do so. Trying to be entertaining, insightful, and unique. This is me, well, a version of me, because I most definitely won’t stop changing or growing yet.

With myself introduced, last, but not least, welcome reader, to the bucket of pineapple linguini.

*mic drop*, Johan, the AM version

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A 4th entrada

Hello and welcome to “Who am I”, my name is Keven Gomes and I am 17 years old. I was born on the 30th of December 2000 in Cape Verde. When I was 3 years old I moved to Portugal with my mom and lived there for 12 years. Right now I live in Sweden and I’ve been living here for 2 years.

   In Cape Verde I lived with my mom and her sisters, and for a while I lived with both of my grandmothers. When I moved to Portugal I lived with my aunt and my mom. My father moved to Portugal when I was born and then he moved to France. I was raised by women only and I’m glad I did, because they taught me a lot about work, how to deal with people and life overall.

   Both my mom and my aunt are lawyers and my aunt even owns her own lawyers office. My father is an architect. I want to become a banker because I would like to keep the “suit and tie” job in the family.

 I’m person who can’t let go of my childhood. Everything I still care about the things I did back then, plus some new interests. For example, when I was younger my mom always cared a lot about how I look and she passed that on to me and until today I take care of myself as if she was doing it for me. The same thing happened when it comes to clothes and when I started buying my own clothes I would always go to my mom for advice. The most important thing I picked up from my childhood is anime. I used to invite my friends over to my house just to watch anime and recently I started re-watching all the anime series I can think of. Some find this weird but I just can’t let that part of me die out.

 My interests and hobbies change a lot over the years because I get bored easily and I always need something new to do. All my life I have done sports and I first started with swimming. I did swimming for 6 years but then I quit because I was getting sick of the same thing all the time. Then I changed to football and I really liked it but for some reason I changed sports and moved on to basketball. I have to say that basketball is definitely the sport I love the most. Everything about is amazing, even the stupid rules, and I had so much fun playing basketball. I played it for 4 years. Two in Portugal and two here. Playing basketball here was amazing for me because that was when I actually got to play full seasons as a starter and the rush I got every time, before and after a match, was the best feeling ever. One of my favorite hobbies is skateboarding but I’m kind of on and off when it comes to it. Sometimes skating is all I do and sometimes I go months without skating, but no matter what I still follow the skate culture in every aspect. I also love sneakers. That might not be considered a hobby but I always go online and check out the new shoes that are coming out or videos on how to customize your own shoes, and I’ve actually customized my own pair of shoes at home.

   This obviously not enough to get to know me but it’s enough for you to get to know about me. If you want to find out more about just come back every week for a weekly update. Peace.

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The 3rd entré(fancy)

Who am I? (part 2)

Hello again!

It’s me, Emma, again… So, how are you? Excited to read more about me? Well, (even though I’m doubting it) if so, it’s your lucky day because here I am, as promised, writing more about myself. I’m continuing my bad politician theme but please don’t expect too much, I’m not all that interesting, which I think you have noticed by now.

In my last post I talked about hobbies and told you I do karate but I also said that I’m not a violent person. So, if I’m not a violent person, what kind of person am I? Well, that is a little bit up to you, isn’t it? You know, I can only say what type of person I think I am but it’s up to you to choose whether you agree or not.

Oh boy, here we go. Who am I? I’m annoying, talk too much without actually being funny or amusing or even entertaining at all. I’m boring, I eat, sleep, and study and that’s it. I get tired at 9 PM and sleep to 9 AM on weekends. I’m lame, extremely organised and chronically stressed. Keeping up with the positivity, I’m emotional, not actually as smart as people tend to think and frankly I’m quite self conscious. Wow, Emma, you don’t say. No one noticed.

But on a more serious note, I honestly find it super hard to write positive things about myself because I don’t want to come of as cocky or arrogant. I’m not asking for more appreciation or pity, this is just me, this is who I am. I’m trying to change, to become more confident and comfortable with myself but honestly it’s really freaking hard. So for a little while longer, but only until I get better, I will be defined as insecure, self conscious, nerdy and boring.

What else is there to say about me? I guess I do have some good qualities but I’ll only list them if you promise to not take it as if I’m bragging. Does that sound fair? Great. I’m quite caring and I usually I take care of others way better than I take care of myself. However, if things get dark, and they truly do sometimes, I will say that I’m selfish and no one can make me change my mind. I guess I’m kind as well, I mean, I am a hufflepuff after all. Also, I’m very committed and determined but on a bad day I will say that I’m lazy and always give up. Yes! Positivity! Optimism!

This text is slightly contradictory because I show all of my flaws and I seem to be practically begging for more compliments and some pitying. I swear to god though (which doesn’t mean much because I’m not religious but whatever), that I do not want any of it. I’m simply saying all this so that if you ever speak to me you have such low expectations that no matter what I do I will make a good impression. This I’m doing because I, personally, hate disappointments. Really I’m just being nice and protecting you. Makes sense, right?

Okay, Okay. I know what y’all are thinking, “but, Emma, you’ve just told us who you are even though you said you wouldn’t”. Have I really though? Do you know how I’d react to a joke or what I think of The Hunger Games? Yeah? If so, then there are more things you don’t know, I promise you. I think that if you want to know me you’ll have to actually meet me. But, no, I don’t actually think that. I have internet friends who know me pretty well but I guess my friends irl know me better. Whatever, me telling you about myself only gives you half the picture because I can’t see myself smiling unless I’m looking into the mirror and I can’t hear my own laughter unless someone records it. If you want to know me you might have to look a little closer, be here a little longer and not trust everything I say because who knows, I could be lying, I could be making things up and I’m probably not telling you everything. It sounds harsh, I know, but I don’t open up too easily, I’m shy and have trust issues. Because, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair”. So until you’ve earned my trust, this is it, this is me, this is who I am.

Love,

Emma

PS I’m sorry I didn’t include any pictures of myself but, you know, insecurities.

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The 2nd entry

Who am I? (part 1)

Hi everyone!

My name is Emma and today I’ll be writing like a bad politician. I’ll be avoiding the actual question while talking about topics vaguely related. I will be trying to tell you who I am. I have no hope whatsoever to, at the end of this post, have answered the question I used as a headline. Still there is a small part of me which hopes and believes that I might have explained and shown how I might be defined in different situations. I don’t know if it will tell you who I am or if that could only be achieved by you actually meeting me. Let’s find out, shall we?

Now, how can I describe myself without telling you how I am? I mean, I’m swedish and blonde with kind of long hair. I have green eyes, I’m 162cm tall and 17 years old. What else is there to me? I like English, science and psychology. I live with my mother, father and 13 year old sister in a house. Kind of boring, right? But that’s me. I’m 100 % Swedish and pretty average.

Another way of defining me would definitely be looking at my hobbies. I used to do figure skating 6 days a week but I quit when I was 14 because I was bullied. It was really hard because the people who, very suddenly, shut me out and made me quit doing the thing I loved most in the entire world were my only friends and they had been for the previous 11 years. But, please, do not look at me with pity, don’t think of me as the girl who was bullied, I beg you. I got up when I fell and I’m better off without backstabbing “friends”. I got out of a toxic environment and that’s all that matters. Now I do karate twice a week and I go to the gym. It’s not a passion like figure skating was but it’s a good way of exercising and staying in balance. I love punching and kicking because it makes me feel strong and independent but make no mistake, I am not a violent person. Because, like I said, I’m pretty boring. No that being violent is a good thing but it makes interesting characters you know.

So now, to the conclusion since there’s not a lot more I can tell you without it being less than “vaguely related to the subject”. I have now described myself and given you several facts about me but I don’t think you know me. You don’t know how I would react if you told me a joke or what I think of The Hunger Games (I love it by the way). You know about me but you don’t know me. You have several pieces of the puzzle but you don’t have all of them and you don’t have the full picture because you don’t know how it all fits together, what pieces go where and how much you notice different colours and shapes when the whole puzzle is done. You don’t know me. But, hey, you’ll get another chance! So don’t feel too sad about not understanding the individual who put together these words to sentences and made a weird blog post. I promise you I’ll tell you more, soon…

Love,

Emma

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1st entry Signed by: Yours truly, Johan

Hi… You like linguini? Pineapples? Wow, is that so… Well, you’ve come to just the right place. :) So grab a seat and welcome to the blog, the home, of the bucket of pineapple linguini. But can you really get the full experience of your visit without knowing about the people of this extravaganza, the three musketeers, of this soulful, delicious creation? So I urge you to grab onto your seat as you read in peace or queue a good soundtrack if you’d like, as the first musketeer emerges…

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Just a small introduction of me, myself, Emma... Hufflepuff pride. Yes I’m a huge Harry Potter fan

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NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

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can you poop?

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EPISODE 839 ✦ “Big Father”?!

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Fail….

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some days some nights some live some die in the name of the samurai

had to do a quick doodle of Zorojuro after reading that chapter, WE WANO NOW BABY (id be okay with those whole arc being a samurai jidaigeki pastiche with zoro at the helm but unfortunately it’s so preemptively rife with grand narrative plot points )

i am so sad that I took a hiatus from tumblr and it coincidentally became a lot less active as well, I dont wanna lose the connection to the people I met on here!! friends, find me on: gmrd | ig | ptrn | pxv | store | twttr | website | yt 

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Let us accept hatred and know who we are ..be true to ourselves..

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10/10/2015.  ✦

Happy Birthday To Our Sunshine Uzumaki Naruto. 

there are no words to explain how much i adore him.. (ಥ_ಥ)

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Pinneaple loves anime

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“No good hero is a one trick pony.”

Debuting Erase-purr Head!