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How startup jargon is exclusive and dehumanising

How startup jargon is exclusive and dehumanising

In a recent tweet, outgoing Fishburners chief Annie Parker claimed that Australian start-up language needs to change.  Words matter. From this day forth, I shall not be crushing, killing or smashing things. I shall build, grow & eleva… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…— Annie Parker 🌈 (@annie_parker) February 06, 2018   The tweet was followed up by SmartCompany in an interview that delved into Annie’s…

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The career advice Linked in left out

I find most career advice shared online to be common sense, pop psychology, or simply naff. LinkedIN is full of it. Be bold, think different, follow your dreams, and you too could be Richard Branson who apparently sits on his private island typing out a new Top 10 Thoughts on Success every few days. This article, for instance, has the enlightening idea to ‘stay humble and work hard’. Riiight.…

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Facing facts about our privacy I'm a big fan of social media, as you probably know, but I'm no big fan of the way it uses your data without informing you clearly and regularly of the implications.

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Modernist homes of Newcastle.

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Crumpet is so loopy

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Twitter: Getting its engagement (and groove) back

How Twitter could get its engagement groove back

The land I love most in social media is at risk. It’s not about to shutdown but the unstoppable momentum of its younger cousins (Snapchat, WhatsApp) and grandaddy (Facebook) overshadows all attempts Twitter makes to reinvent its experience. And you can’t entirely blame Twitter – as their blog shows, they are constantly updating and improving the platform. If you’re a heavy Twitter user, you’re…

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Why Telstra Tower should be demolished

   We’re on holidays in Canberra. So I visited Telecom Tower… so now I am here to vent. (Don’t laugh. I knew it was big in the bicentennial and is well past its prime — I just thought that, being a beacon of technology, it would have been updated). 

It wasn’t just the way that no one had cleaned the outside since I visited 27 years ago. It wasn’t that the restaurant had stopped revolving two…

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The case for the Apple car.

The case for the Apple car.

They don’t do things for money, Apple. If we are to believe both their top executive and the chief designer, the world’s richest company only get into areas where an improved design can improve people’s lives. The money follows.

News came this weekthat Apple is working on a car. This should blow all our minds. They are totally out of their league – but they had never made a phone either, and look…

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In TV, if no one is taking about you, you’re dead.

This Herald story on Karl Stefanovic boosting Today Show ratings is a beat-up. Sunrise have Today up against the wall and they’re tickling them till it hurts. But the continuing popularity of Karl in the online sphere – rather than on TV – proves that Karl is cool in a way that defines many public personalities these days; we won’t switch them on but we will click on them, again and again.

Karl is the televisual equivalent of that friend or colleague who is fun tower firstly but too tiring to hang out with. He’s worth a chat or a cheap laugh, but never a full conversation.

Does Karl care? I doubt it. (Smug!) While he goes about his work, the internet has transformed Karl into a sound-bite factory, gif magic, and perfect YouTube fodder. Even his unassuming, regular Aussie bloke tweets are shareable gold.

That said, he’s a twitstorm in a teacup.

Any sordid joke or witty remark is only hot property for a few short days. The Herald and Telegraph know this and hence, they will fashion a homepage story around his madcap behaviour at any opportunity. The traffic flows into the website, amplified largely by social sharing. And if there is a chance to rehash a popular Karl moment from a year ago, they’ll give it another run. Because while they peak early, these stories can live on forever.

But does the media’s enthusiasm for Karl’s bottled boganism contribute to TV ratings? No. It’s a trivial, nauseating cycle of funny-moments-becoming-YouTube-hits-becoming-news-stories that has been going on for years without the Today Show receiving any significant bump. Even the latest Herald story with Karl in the headline is mostly about how Sunrise romped home with their best lead in years. His name is there because that’s what people click on. Same goes for sex, p0rn and iPhone.

Today has not enjoyed anything like the bump in popularity you might expect with the global enthusiasm for Karl’s latest wear-a-suit-for-a-year stunt. The host’s joke with the Dalai Lama achieved even greater notoriety and has been  more than two million times on YouTube.

In fact, Karl’s top ten most popular clips on YouTube have been viewed more than 15 million times. His Twitter figures are, by most comparisons, extraordinary: 250,000+ followers, 2500 tweets. Scores of retweets follow each mundane observation. (See examples below)

I have set up many TV personalities on Twitter and I’ve told each one of them to just be themselves. For Karl, being himself – his plain speaking, jocular, slightly inappropriate self –  resonates with so many people, you’d be forgiven for thinking Karl was a seriously popular star with a compelling or hilarious feed. Decide for yourself.

Where the hell is my nasi goreng @crownmelbourne

— Karl Stefanovic (@karlstefanovic) September 25, 2014

This music in toys r us is doing my freakin head in.

— Karl Stefanovic (@karlstefanovic) November 27, 2014

There's something to be said for women who drive utes I reckon.

— Karl Stefanovic (@karlstefanovic) October 11, 2014

People seem to love him regardless.

A friend of mine pointed out that it was not always this way. A few years back, Karl was widely loathed and even worse, ignored. But since the host made headlines around the world for being drunk on-air and trying to crack a dad joke with a Tibetan Buddhist leader, Aussies have embraced Karl as one of their own and will now happily rave about his latest larrikin exploit.

I can’t stand the man, yet even I have pulled out my phone at dinner parties to show friends the latest reason I can’t stand him.

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He’s a middle-aged man of the age, a mate who’ll hold your longneck while you take a wizz, Australia’s Kramer – a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can’t look away.

It’s clear that the only winner in Karl’s situation is Karl’s personal profile. His appeal is in unexpected moments that shock or surprise viewers for a 30-second clip. Sure, the Today Show appears in every clip and gif but as the moments are unscripted, Channel 9 can’t capitalise or fabricate this ineffable brilliance. If I was them I’d be seriously frustrated. But the potential is there and that’s why other TV bosses should pay attention to this phenomenon.

The idea that ratings are the only thing that matters will soon fade . Television audiences will continue to shrink and TV shows that resonate online will

a) attract the next generation of viewers and,

b) get the advertising dollars that are will move online when we are all streaming shows.

Essentially, views will count for more than viewers.

Some networks are already acting on this. Certain shows are being driven to produce more shareable content and are tailoring segments to online audiences – think John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight, Jimmy Fallon, or The Voice.

Personalities will still need to be social-savvy, but most are nowadays, and it’s the producers that need to think differently; How will this story translate to online viewers who can scroll through it in ten seconds? Will it work for a commuter watching live on a smartphone? Would I share this segment? How are we using social networks to draw viewers into the next episode?

I didn’t see your cliffhanger last week, sorry. I don’t know who is in the final four. And I’m not even seeing your teases in the cricket or in the 6pm news. I’m busy watching reruns of Karl embarrassing himself in 2010.

The Karl Stefanovic Phenomenon - turning clickbait into ratings (and vice versa) In TV, if no one is taking about you, you’re dead. This Herald story on Karl Stefanovic boosting Today Show ratings is a beat-up.

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Not my favorite thing, Twitter A few months back I faced the task of cleaning up who I follow on Twitter to increase it's usefulness to me.

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BLOG: Headphones - Can Apple pull them off?

BLOG: Headphones – Can Apple pull them off?

When Apple bought Beats for a gazillion dollars last month, it didn’t make me want to buy Beats but it did get me thinking about what they would do with the brand and the technology.

Apple evolved the mp3 player, the phone and the tablet; they didn’t invent any of those items, but they took them all to a new level.

For me, the way to take headphones to the next level would be to maintain the…

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The world is a stage.

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oh, come on!

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When Apple changed the colour scheme on their iconic iPhones last year, many obsessive fans – including me – whinged about the decision. Childish. Dated. Simplistic.

Others thought it was more proof that Apple is always ahead of the curve. That their team knew, ahead of time, what colours would soon be in fashion in the world of design. But to me, that sounded too much like Miranda in The Devil Wears Prada.

I realise someone out there must be able to see through the glare of advertising and know what’s actually coming next. But a company as big as Apple?

What changed? The colours used throughout the iPhone were given a stark and bold new look. With blurry backgrounds and barely perceptible gradients the icons now had a certain lift – it was as if they were rising off the screen.

Now, months later, I see the same once-hated palette popping up everywhere. Did Apple predict a trend or did they create one?

So where did Apple’s new colour theory originate? Theory 1: Did they have a secret colour chart like you see at the hardware store?

See also: flatuicolors.com

Theory 2: Now everything was plain, unadorned and less skeumorphic – putting an end to the use of that ridiculous word.

Was the pallet simply Apple’s old logo, reimagined?

Theory 3: Or were the colours lifted from the work of designer Otl Aicher for the 1972 Munich Olympic Games? (This is my favourite theory.)

Apple’s chief designer Jonny Ive may let us know one day, but if he does, it will be on his deathbed. And even then it’s unlikely.

So all we can do is now observe how the same palette has taken hold in other designs around the world.

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Katy Perry gets it. And she kissed a girl before it was cool.

Don’t forget Samsung, the iPhone you get when you don’t want an iPhone.

And let’s not forget the contribution from Sydney’s rail network – the Opal card.

Or Sydney City Council’s efforts in promoting Harmony.

I believe that Apple – a company known for behaving outside of common corporate rules – did manage to help create a colour trend. Their influence on global design is not marginal. Apple have sold over 500 million iOS devices worldwide, meaning that even if a flat colour trend was approaching, they accelerated it by placing it in the hand of around half a billion consumers.

Then, eventually, the trend has trickled down to graphic designers, celebs, advertisers, stylists, city councils and less nimble smartphone manufacturers.

Seen any other examples? Do tell.

More reading:

Apple got its colour palette from Apple’s old logo | iSource

Simplicity is actually quite completed | Apple

Apple’s Radical Overhaul Of The iPhone’s Software May Have Been Influenced By This Legendary German Designer | Business Insider

Otl Aicher and the 1972 Munich Olympics

Munich ’72 Design Legacy

Flat Design, iOS 7, Skeuomorphism and All That | tutsplus.com

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Colour Theory: How the world’s designers have copied the iPhone When Apple changed the colour scheme on their iconic iPhones last year, many obsessive fans - including me - whinged about the decision.

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How a Facebook gallery nabbed me a dream job

How a Facebook gallery nabbed me a dream job

In Australia, all Year 10 students are forced from their cosy routines into the freakish hellscape known as Work Experience. Think of Work Experience as a hastily arranged unpaid internship that lasts five days yet often results in lifelong disillusionment.

So, like most of my pals, I picked jobs based not on my hazy career goals but on my interests, hoping the environment would keep me motivated…

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After spending two years searching Sydney for two years, my wife and I are finally ready to delete the RealEstate.com.au and Domain apps from our iPhones. It has been an obsession that took us to dozens of Open Homes, turning us into highly critical buyers and highly frustrated sellers. We also started cataloguing all the weirdest compromises people make.

Every home has something odd, if you look under enough rugs or check enough floor plans.

We found that over time, our standards dropped and our criteria loosened, but that some houses – even some we were considering bidding on – were beyond strange.

Here are some of the bizarro beauties we didn’t buy…

Barton Crescent Croydon Hurlstone Park This is the house that got us thinking we should sell our home. Sure, it said five bedrooms but we figured that it was really 4 plus a study. Sure, it was hideous with wall-to-wall pebblecrete and would take years to salvage, but that would only turn people off, right? Sure, it was a good size block in a culdesac near the train station, but if the agent says it’s affordable then… why did it get passed in for $100k more than what we were told it would go for? (To the agent’s credit, they refunded our building inspection.) Here’s who we first saw it, and my own artist’s impression of how we may have saved it.

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Hampton Street Croydon Park Again, we were on the lookout for 3BD homes but when a 5BD shows up in search results, you think you might somehow be on the only person to have spotted it. That is, until inspection day. This home had large living spaces, a pool, parquetry floors and off-street parking. And how many homes can offer you a fully-decked backyard! Every inch is ready to be oiled every year, allowing you to embrace the outdoors by standing, sitting in chairs, walking and chasing things your kids poke between the cracks.

Brighton Street Croydon Despite my deeply held personal convictions, we even considered this 1980s McMansion. Miss-matched fences, seriously dodgy brickwork and a damp backyard aside, this ode to owner-builders had a sloping floor fit for Wet N Wild, plus more unfinished surfaces than a rock quarry. Plus, there were unfathomable decisions including a shower added to the rear of the kitchen. The kitchen! The laundry was nowhere to be seen but turned up hidden in the double garage – a garage to which there was no car access! Genius!

Higginbotham Road Apart from the wood-panelled and windowed ceiling shown, this home had the strangest bathroom we’d ever seen. A fully moulded sky blue plastic shell, like a toilet cubicle from a 747. Easy to clean with no corners or crevices, but the feeling that the seatbelt light might come on at any time. And that was the ensuite.

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Barons Cresent, Boronia Park. Even a driveway can make a house difficult to sell. We really wanted this to work. We could get the kids into the great local school in this leafy suburb no one has heard of near Hunters Hill. This home ticked lots of boxes and then added a bunch more – bushy outlook, secluded property, north-facing, it even backed onto Lane Cove River which was visible beyond a mangrove boardwalk! Problem was, the house was on poles and the heavily sloping backyard was down 30 steps. The real dealbreaker came when we tried descending the narrow, steep battleaxe driveway in our new seven-seater. No guest would brave it, and I had palpatations just reversing out. No thanks.

Charles Street Petersham Oddball from go to wo. It had enough character for me to ask for the contract while my wife was running for the door. This reasonably cramped semi featured the biggest walk-in robe we saw in any home. Outside there was an overgrown garden accessible only beyond a tree you had to limbo under. Their homemade glass atrium felt like an escape module. And then there was the garage, fit for a, err, shed.

Lyle Avenue Lindfield The agent said it was an ‘idyllic bishland setting’, but being in Lindifeld, that was a given. The house? It was a cool vintage number but the tree – a Myrtaceae myrtle – out the lounge room window was all we wanted. Yes, we genuinely considered buying a house way out of our area and out of our political and socio-economic comfort zone, all just to gaze at the most outstanding angophera we had ever seen. Its orange tones radiated like a bar heater. It was one of many on 1075 square metres. The house was a bit like Rose Seidler’s one up the road – with original furniture by the looks – and it eventually sold for less than $900k. Outrageous.

The tree was worth at least a million.

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Real Estate reality check – most Sydney houses are pretty strange After spending two years searching Sydney for two years, my wife and I are finally ready to delete the RealEstate.com.au and Domain apps from our iPhones.