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Dry preparation of the skulls of domestic sheep. University Museum Utrecht. [x] [x]

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his swagless mental breakdowns this, his homoerotic patterns of grief that. what about HER grief-stricken moments of extremely poor decisionmaking? what about HER incredibly alarming isolation and trauma-driven life choices?!?!?!

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heyo, i updated my website to include the first two chapters of vice versa, if you feel so inclined to take a peek. i also coded this website from scratch and am really excited to start beefing it up over the next few months as i finish some other parts of vice versa (namely the compendium i've been updating for a while now). so yaaay soft launch of the first two chapters so i stop obsessively going over them with a fine-toothed comb and i just MOVE ON ghfdsjk

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oh fuck yes we're doing it folks. also, nice

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OUGH i imagined an AMV/OP for vice versa to drink milk and run and i

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eehuhuhuuu i’m having so much fun writing chapter two that’s me writing chapter two

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hi i'm back i've gone full stupid mode thinking about the manual and how important it is to emory and gen and how they are both batshit nuts about it. the way emory desperately clutches on to it and uses it as the foundation of their vigilantism despite their copy being incomplete and full of holes while gen annotates it in an almost conspiratorial way because she thinks they (read: CVRS research division) know more than they let on and are avoiding publicly disseminating the info to avoid mass panic. they're both very pepesilvia.jpeg about it (gen trying to find hidden meanings/info while emory is trying to fill the gaps) and they put the text on a pedestal and give it so much power when in the end, it's a flawed text compiled by flawed people and it will never be able to give them what they need

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nyeheheh this is my house i do what i want and if i want to start typsetting a document that isn't finished then THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO

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also hi i'm still thinking. part of me wonders if i should rework parts of the manual to be like. almost patronizing the way some medical brochures are. like "WHAT is happening to my body?" with a shitty clipart illustration of some big-headed guy with a cartoon thought bubble above him. and then it goes into the text and it's like. so not laypeople friendly and is just chock full of jargon to the point of unreadability. i think that would be funny. like some poor marketing person put this together and was only in charge of the section titles

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expanding on my thoughts RE: physical manual printing. in my head i've always seen it as something stapled along the side and printed off a shitty office printer. no fancy binding. but i don't know how i would be able to staple that many pages. i guess if i printed it on standard letter size paper, there wouldn't be as many pages...as much fun as it'd be to do a beautiful, thoughtful printed piece, i kinda want it to suck. bad. like boomer-who-can't-use-a-copier-bad. i want it to be illegible and i want the thumbnails to be completely useless. like i said, maybe i do two versions. one with the thought and care of someone who went to design school and the other as a lore-accurate academic paper crumpled to shit and stained with coffee ghfdsjk

i also need to figure out what exactly i want to call it. i've been calling it a manual in the actual text and in the story but it's not really a manual TToTT it's more of a uhhh a compendium i guess. handbook doesn't work for the same reasons as "manual" because they both imply that it's text that helps you DO something, and "helpful" is the last thing this manual is, canonically. abstract is interesting in that it implies it's sort of a distilled version of a larger body of research, which it is. but i think abstract also has implications of brevity, which this is not lmao. anthology seems a little too artistic. compendium is nice, i like that word and i think it describes it well, considering it's a bunch of different parts smushed into one that don't necessarily tie together. but i also can't see emory or danny referring to it as such in a casual conversation. enchiridion is a word that fucking RULES but it seems a little too uhhh intense. that has some serious fantasy vibes that this shitty sloppy corporate manual simply does not exude haha. perhaps compendium is my best bet. and i can come up with another acronym to piss off my readers HAHA I WORK IN ACADEMIA BITCH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT. maybe something simple like vice research compendium. VRC or whatever i don't KNOOOWWW VRC just doesn't sound like a NOUN it sounds like an entity ghfdsjk I HATE THIS!! only getting riled up because i wanted to make a cover page for it then realized I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS THING IS CALLED

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curious that you think I'm a bitch, considering the homunculus clone of you that I keep in my basement has never said something like that to me. could it simply be that the stresses of your daily life are making you irritable?

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sometimes i think too hard about danny and emory being two sides of the same coin and i

they're complete and total opposites who think they're coping with life in drastically different ways, but at the end of the day they have the same fears, and their coping mechanisms are virtually different ways to get the same results. they're both terrified of the fleshy little creature embedded in their innards and the overwhelming influence it has over their quality of life. danny chooses to avoid talking or even thinking about it altogether (despite the fact it's inescapable and despite the fact that telling yourself to not think about it is a roundabout way of thinking about it), while emory chooses to immerse themself in target hunter vigilantism as a distraction (and as a way to convince themself they're not 'scared' of it, like danny is because, hey, they're confronting the horrors daily, just in other people). they're the denial brothers....the "maybe if i don't look it in the eye it'll go away" brothers

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i love writing dialogue for them. i'd make this whole fucking story just emory and danny talking to each other if i thought anybody would give a shit ghfdsjk

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they’re platonic soulmates your honor, like two bickering old men that have never said a kind thing to each other but would die for each other no questions asked

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original by clairetablizo