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Avel De Knight, Two Young Men, charcoal on cream wove paper, 1940s

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new items added to our Ko-fi shop!

hello, i'm equinox. i'm a multiply disabled mixed black trans lesbian. i deal with schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, hypermobile ehlers danlos, degenerative disc disease, 2 unhealed injuries, and gastrointestinal issues. i am currently applying for disability, i got off the phone with disability determination earlier today. i have multiple appointments with GI specialists coming up very soon. i need help with income in the mean time. i currently have no other income aside from this. i am in need of transportation to appointments, i also need to get to my pharmacy to get my meds, groceries, cleaning and hygiene supplies, and more.

i'm currently saving up money for a procedure being done at the end of the month. i am having a colonoscopy and they are having me purchase gatorade and mirilax, instead of prescribing me something that's more effective. i also need to save for rent, which is $178/month in my place due to my low income.

feel free to ask any questions about these pieces or ask if customs are an option- they very well can be!

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Close enough. Welcome back Bo Burnham

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16 frame shooting star animation. January 2022-September 2024 Needlepoint

Frames from my shooting star gif. 16 frames total. Each frame is 8x6.5 inches on a 10” mesh. Designed and animated in photoshop and needlepointed by me. I started drafting this 1/14/22 and finished animating it 9/25/24. It took approximately two years and eight months to finish. This is one of the largest projects I’ve ever worked on and I’m very happy with how it turned out.

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strap gets you pregnant if you wish on a star and just believe

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doesn’t logan paul legitimately have brain damage

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ROSANNA PANSINO???

??????

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Wild googles

Images by kody

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hi heres the entire twilight movie as a stamp

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Fata Morgana

A superior mirage caused by warm air resting on patches of colder air in an atmospheric duct that acts like a refracting lens. Objects on the horizon could appear to be mirrored, distorted, or float. This form of mirage could be the reason for the Flying Dutchman Legend.

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i avoid printers at all costs but deep down i think i should've been a printer. life so easy. i sit there all squarelike and when someone has a minor task for me i goFUCK YOU

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About dissociation in childhood, from Treating Adult Survivors of Childhood Emotional Abuse and Neglect (pp. 148-150)

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I reformatted Co-Dependents Anonymous's Recovery Patterns pages

(I didn't like that one of them got chopped in half across pages)

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something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live

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one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.