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[bullagit]

aziraphale was so excited to show crowley his magic tricks... to get to share that interest w him... ough.. i get so hung up on that about it he was so full of joy and excitement and MOTION he was so HAPPY and goofy.. it's such a rare mode to see from him 🥺

like idk it's one of those things where you don't think about just how many walls a character has up and how much they repress until you see them let the walls down a little bit. i care him

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aziraphale lied to god about the sword bc he didn't want to get in trouble for it AND because if heaven knew he'd given adam and eve the sword they would have taken it back send tweet

[bullagit]

no take colder than any along the lines of "aziraphale needs to learn his lesson about going along with heaven and stand up to them" tbh

like even putting aside the gross shit that implies someone thinks about people stuck in toxic relationship dynamics (whether romantic, platonic, or familial) and the unfortunate cycles that can include, even putting aside the potential that his hand was possibly forced in some way in the final 15, it's so.

like where was your attention when he spent so much of s1 actively trying to stop heaven's plans through every possible avenue even when pursuing that got him threatened, seemingly cost him his friendship, and did temporarily cost him his physical body/earthly home/future??? when he literally stood in heaven and said he refused to take part in any war, went back down to earth, and headed for tadfield? rules lawyered directly to an archangel's face about the great plan vs ineffable plan??????

even when crowley was saying this is a lost cause and we should run away together? when satan was incoming and aziraphale stood there and said firm as anything we can't give up now? aziraphale who lied to save job's children even when he actively thought that doing so would make him Fall???? that aziraphale needs to learn a lesson???

nah

[bullagit]

stands on my "aziraphale does not owe crowley anything in return for things he's done/said/provided/etc in the same way that crowley doesn't owe aziraphale anything for things done/said/provided/etc" box proudly

maybe they feel differently from their character perspective or fear that the other one feels differently, maybe they have their hangups about obligation and their own insecurities but like objectively

they really truly sincerely don't owe each other anything at the end of the day

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i dont care to make an image edit for it so im just pointing at aziraphale and chanting "birds born in a cage think flying is an illness" over and over and over again

[bullagit]

im still thinking about this im so like what is the appeal of making it into the seeming full growth point of the character rather than a step on the road (and i do think there's space for that, there's a difference). why this idea that aziraphale being pushed to cold more traditionally masculine violence is a grand step that he must take. what do we serve if the endpoint is "he becomes what heaven has always told him he needs to be, he reshapes into something that he's never truly fit before". why do people think that he needs to do that and he'll be like, somehow better for doing it.

i've read fics and all where i've felt it's done nicely and with the right kind of nuance, and i think a lot of the selling point on that is simply that it's not treated as the be all end all climax this character's always built to. it's a last resort. it's something he doesn't want. he's soft with a steel core. there's a difference between him throwing his halo down as an absolute last resort to protect a couple of humans/jimbriel and him like... going all incredible hulk mowing down enemies left and right with a flaming sword that definitively has not belonged to him since eden.

like idk for me it wouldn't make his character better! it wouldn't make him somehow more worthy of crowley's love and attention and affection and forgiveness or balance the scales or whatever (he's already worthy of those things, crowley gives him those things freely, he loves crowley just as much as crowley loves him and he DOES contribute to that relationship equally and he HAS saved crowley too, in different ways! it's not needed! that's a separate post i've made before i bet)

im not gonna put it in any fandom tags bc im not looking to harsh anyones vibes but like

kinda don't get why fandom is so super into giving aziraphale back the flaming sword and calling it HIS sword and having him do a lot of traditional combat badassery stuff... tbh

i like a little competent badass aziraphale as a treat i love unsettling eldritch vibe aziraphale putting people off etc etc yeah just. idk treating it like an endpoint of his development feels antithetical of the character that he is and how he chooses to be if that makes sense

[bullagit]

im not gonna put it in any fandom tags bc im not looking to harsh anyones vibes but like

kinda don't get why fandom is so super into giving aziraphale back the flaming sword and calling it HIS sword and having him do a lot of traditional combat badassery stuff... tbh

i like a little competent badass aziraphale as a treat i love unsettling eldritch vibe aziraphale putting people off etc etc yeah just. idk treating it like an endpoint of his development feels antithetical of the character that he is and how he chooses to be if that makes sense

[bullagit]

the job flashback makes all the times aziraphale is like "oh so this is YOUR DARK WORK YOU FIEND" 100x funnier ftr

like he's really just doing it so he can hear crowley sound offended and go "NO it's not MY WORK humans just did that shit themselves!!!" huh... amazing

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im just saying of course the ball wound up Being Like That, aziraphale's entire relationship to love and communication revolves around feeling trapped by rigid constraints and having to talk around certain things instead of being able to say them outright

[bullagit]

i would manifest a s3 good omens flashback where aziraphale appearing to give crowley the holy water in the 60s is the first time crowley's seen him in X amount of time because of An Incident that got aziraphale yoinked up to heaven for a while tbh

[bullagit]

ofmd s2 isn't about redemption arcs or earning it or punitive cosmic justice centered around characters karmically getting what they deserve for wrongs they've done, or not getting what they deserve, or getting what they DON'T deserve from others

or like

it is about that last one sort of but it's not, because it's not about deserving as a punishment or prize for specific actions at all

it's about community, and it's about choice. it's about identity and finding a place to fit. it's about finding even one small little bit of a glint of light in the pit of despair and holding to it, preserving it, being able to to say this darkness isn't all that there ever is or was (life used to mean something on this ship). it's about awkward hurdles and having to do the uncomfortable hard work of sitting with yourself, looking at yourself, all for the desire to grow, to breathe easier.

it's about change! not just the natural change and growth that sort of comes with being human and existing in the world at any stage in life, but active change. like, WANTING and CHOOSING to change, choosing every day to commit to the change you want to make to yourself-- for better or for worse, in the end.

it's about middle grounds and trauma and moving forward and figuring out what you need and how that may or may not reconcile with what the people you care about the most may need.

[bullagit]

ppl who saw the screening of the final eps should absolutely dm me the plot deets btw, spoilers are everything to me

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actually while im in soup mode i do think its very interesting having this season that seems very very geared towards the talking it through and sharing traumas and healing through that... and the balance between owning that your actions can cause great harm to others and that while explaining what contributed to those actions can be helpful, it doesn't take away that the harm was done...

and stede bonnet is, once again, encouraging all that in everyone around him and stepping into accountability himself, but also not actually sharing any of the trauma that shaped him or contributed to his hoofing it back to barbados at the end of s1

like hmmmmmmmmmm

[bullagit]

there's SOMETHING here you know there's SOMETHING

in the "you broke him so he broke me" and "i think i hurt him pretty bad" and izzy essentially saying "we did this to him, you and me, this is all our fault"

(i'm putting aside my distaste for people in fandom who are coming up short at "ha ha yeah stede NEEDED that reality check to understand what he DID to poor ed it IS all his fault" bc i fundamentally disagree with a lot of the angle)

but like. it's like. one i'm so so excited and ready for a season with a message of hope and growth and warmth and a commitment to stating clearly that NO ONE is unlovable and NO ONE is too broken to change or to be accepted

and two while i'm over the moon to see some legit self reflection and accountability from stede and izzy because it's patently false to say that they DIDN'T have impacts on ed's wellbeing and mental state... i'm also wondering at what point ed (a grown man with agency, no matter how traumatized and wounded) uh. will also be taking accountability and trying to make amends for his actions. especially with the crew.

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-- sue zhao

[bullagit]

last post wasnt me saying "i think the system of heaven can totally be fixed and can totally be fixed by one single angel" ftr it was me saying i'm tired of the weird extreme of like "aziraphale has to suffer further abuse up there and lose his gentleness and then also come down to earth and grovel to crowley for What He's Done To Him" when the situation is a very nuanced complex one

like, i do very much think heaven is not a thing that can be Fixed. it is an abusive cultlike situation up there. if aziraphale engenders some kind of positive change up there i imagine it would be more on the level of individual angels that might lead into the dismantling of the current system entirely etc etc etc

[bullagit]

due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc” 

like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park

i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character

(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)