buney-kat

[buney-kat]

The longing is going to eat me alive one day.

And it's so hard to express since locking everything inside is all I've ever done.

I miss feeling a shred of normalcy, a comforting routine. The familiar lightness of friends and his solid presence. I miss feeling alive within my existence.

I miss being able to connect with him in person.

[buney-kat]

I need his presence like the comfort of sleep.

I can't even explain everything that I miss without adding desperation to the little devilish thing clawing, bubbling, at my veins.

It's just a need, a want to cherish time, a need to sink into the shared atmosphere, a want to enjoy the present together.

The need.

But at the very least his voice can settle some of my antsy energy. The vision of a calm, shared future soothes my aches. The different possibilities of moments we can share are like water to my mind, refreshing and needed. A sparkle of motivation I've needed. Love love love love love ᕱ⑅ᕱ

[buney-kat]

Oh to miss home.

I feel less than an individual, I don't feel human.

I miss my home, I miss the simplicity, the lightness, the comfort, the steadiness. I miss being more than a role. I miss feeling present and seen.

I miss being human.

But I only have to be in limbo for a little bit. Just a little bit. I just have to put up with it like before, I've done it, I can keep doing it for a little more. I know the cycle, I just have to endure it a little more. I'm ok it's fine for now, just for now.

[buney-kat]

I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it! 𓏲𑁘 𓏲੭

I thought the missing and the distance was going to be the hardest part but the pent up adoration might just be the true villain.

I feel like a starving animal stuck with nothing more to do than sink their nails into the ground. It's a clawing feeling of wanting to express my devotion and love and gratitude and desire. The sensation can't even eat at my self restraint when he isn't here to tempt me in person... It's just stuck swelling inside me.

Oh but I adore him, I love him, oh how I want to make sure he's doing ok with my own eyes. I would say the distance is the only cruel thing here but the hunger that always follows might just be worse. ·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡

[buney-kat]

I think i underestimated how much normalcy he tends to make me feel. It's a feeling I've wanted for so long, it makes me question sometimes if I'm feeling the correct sensation.

But it is. He makes me feel human in such a simple way. And as someone whose emotions tend to always be stronger than necessary- it feels almost like bliss.

Just a simple phone call makes everything feel so much better, so steady, grounded. Simple. I hadn't anticipated he'd have such a steady effect despite the environment I'm in... It only makes me adore him more. He's the steadiness I've wanted. The playfulness and thoughtfulness and everything else he encompasses. I want him wholly as he is. I think he's so so wonderful.

El querido mio 𓆩♡𓆪૮ ྀིᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ྀིაᶻ 𝘇

[buney-kat]

I think I'm losing it already

The thought of saying goodbye, even if not forever, has my insides clawing and prickling with unease. A sense of missing already ghosting in my being, a sprinkle of desperation attempting to gnaw at my skin..

But I know we'll come back together, I'll let him whisk me away once the time is right- so long as it's planned out and I'm by his side... I'll return to him and he'll return to me.

{Remember to come back} He's carved a piece of himself into me already and I don't doubt it'll stay that way. He's my home. The piece in my life that I need. I need him.

[buney-kat]

There's an ache ghosting in my chest, tears tearing at my stupid eyes. I don't want to be apart, even if it's only for a few months. I know how to support myself, how to survive in a cage, but I don't want that anymore.

He's a steadiness I didn't think I'd find so unexpectedly, so soon. But it's what I've wanted, what I want. He's so wonderful, why would I want to be apart for even a singular month? I don't want to cry, I don't want to cry or ache or yearn, I don't want to cry but I already know I'll miss him so much. Mi querido...

I won't cry, it'll all be okay, I won't break down, I won't I won't it's fine

Just hold out for a while, we'll be fine

[buney-kat]

I'm already aching with phantom yearning, the need to stay close to his presence, to hold and enjoy something as simple as the weather as time passes by.

I don't think there will be a single instance where I think of him and simply lack the ache of not being within his presence. I just want to exist beside him, I want to help and support him and love him... I'll always come back to him.

However many weeks or months spent apart, I will always need him. I'll always want to be by his side. I need him in my life, I want to experience it with him so.. I suppose this slight obstacle is a part of it.

[buney-kat]

Mine.

In the sense I'll look after you, to do my best to give my effort and energy and love. To make sure you feel secure in the connection we're sharing and to be someone that relaxation/quietness can be shared with.

Like lazy, peaceful, cloudy days spilling with sunshine and delicate pastel roses with lovely fragrances. Like a gentle fantasy where (regardless of the place) there's always a sense of contentment in the air. That every need is fulfilled and satisfied...

To simply exist together.

Mine.

In the sense I have to fight down most of the overwhelming urges to grab your face and kiss you. To throw my arms around your shoulders and laugh and play and kiss your cheeks.

Because I really do adore you. I love you. Something that feels so odd to say since it's something I've yearned to say to someone for so long.

I want to give you all the sugar I can offer, every sweet thing. Metaphorically and literally. I want to make sure your life is vibrant, querido mio.

Mine.

As in studying,and loving you, making sure you're mine and just mine. To lead right back to you, to lose my mind around you and sink my teeth deeper and deeper.

For (if only) this clawing feeling of want and need could show you how much you really make me feel.

It makes me feel like too much. I don't know when I'll ever be able to let it out, but it's inside. Clawing- wishing to bite and suck and mark and adore and love and everything else my system can give.

But I try to make sure it stays in its corner. Just so only tiny bits occasionally peek through. Too much cake can make someone sick after all.. {Though in this case I don't know if cake is even a proper comparison}

[buney-kat]

I will protect everything I hold dear, I will make sure flowers bloom no matter how small the sprouts may seem. My existence may be to experience

but for as long as I feel; I will care and love and adore and protect and treasure.

Even if that makes me seem heartless, foolish, irresponsible, misguided.

I know what I want in my life, I know how I want to create it.

[buney-kat]

I love him, I really do.

But it's so difficult to regulate my emotions! ｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡ I don't know what to do when he stares or smiles, because I can't just break down into paragraphs of why I hold him dear without seeming dramatic or silly. (At least in my own eyes)...

And it's not always a fluttering, electric feeling he ignites within me. Sometimes it's a deep, still, contentment. A feeling I can't really describe other than.. Feeling like I'm simply able to exist around him. Like being able to just be. Nothing less or more..

I find it odd but not in a displeasing way. I guess I'm just not used to it.

Either way, I love him. Adore him. It might just tear me apart on its way out. ( ⊃>🌹<⊂ ) <3

[buney-kat]

Oh please eat me alive, babe

Eat me up, chew, lick and nibble. Take any part of me into your mouth and mark as much as you want.

God, how I want you to own every inch of me. A look alone has me falling into a need, a pinch of hunger that grows and piles and tugs at my skin. A need that ghosts and scratches at my nerves, my body, my wants. I love taking you in.

Eat everything I have darling, heart, love, body and mind. I'm really not bothered.

[buney-kat]

I think I'm going insane, oh no..

Feelings don't make sense, they don't make a lick of sense yet they simply are... It doesn't always tend to hit me how much he cares for me- it's hard to tell for someone like me (who's often lost in her head or surroundings).

But when I think about it, it feels like an overdose on sugar.

It feels like an overdose on something. Something something something something

Oh I feel so silly sometimes, emotions seem like such a silly thing sometimes.. Especially because I always become so simple minded around him. It's like losing all rational thought and it scares me to an extent. What else can I offer other than usefulness..

But I wanna see him thrive, I wanna see him as forever mine. How it makes me want to cry, a bit from fear and anxiety but contentment and affection are always there. ...I want our lives to stay intertwined.

Oh how silly the effects he leaves on me feel

{But I don't want anything else}

So long as he stays

[buney-kat]

I need less imagination sometimes.

Sometimes, my thoughts lead me away. And soon enough all I can think about is being manhandled and guided and used. To have him buried inside, filthy thoughts spilling from his lips as he decides to let out a frustration or two.

Something to help his mood even.

And then sometimes I think about having him however I'd like, his demeanor silent yet attentive to every single question I ask him. Because sometimes I simply need to make sure he remembers who's whose.

Either way I need him. I need my cum coating his cock, nipples swollen and bruised- my body littered with bites. To have my legs wrapped around him or my ass in the air as he works me back onto his dick to whatever pace he'd like. Or to even wake up in confusion and horniness, my thoughts disoriented with sleep and pleasure as his hands wander even though I was asleep- cock already prodding at my cunt.

I'm such a dirty little mess for him. Possessive, obsessive, needy, hungry, adoring, mess.

[buney-kat]

Need, need, I think this is a greed that will never end.. It's just a need

I don't know if he understands how he affects me. How he triggers all my needs and wants.

Because it's always so soft, loving, adoring and innocent at first. But then I think about it a little too long or hard and I need. Need more. Always more.

I want his softness, his gentleness and thoughtfulness. The fun and lighthearted and stupid.

Oh but oh I think I'm going insane. I think I'm losing it. How in the world do I regulate all this affection? This love and adoration and worship biting beneath my veins. I need him I need him I need him so bad, in every which way. I want to drown in him and drive him insane just the same way.

I want his marks engraved in me, teeth, bruises, the crescents of his nails on my skin. The obsession that creeps in my being whenever I think too long about him has me fighting for some semblance of normality..

And then I need him more and more and more and more. I need him rammed into me as deep as he could go, I need his attention solely on me. I need him to have his way with me because I'm his- aren't I?

I'd have his kiss marks burned into me if I could. Let myself become his little toy. So long as his affection and care remains with me. Mine. Mine. I can never emphasize how much I hunger to have him stay mine.

The hunger licks at my desires, to tempt him as much as I can until his limit breaks. To eat him wholly and keep him mine.

To let him eat from me as much as he'd like. To keep me wrapped around his finger, to tie me up, to kiss, to laugh, to bite, to spank, to fluster and affect.

[buney-kat]

Bites and bites.. And more bites with spice

🌶🍬🌶🍬

I need it, I need him. I need him I need him I need every single thing he can give me. His kisses, bites, grasps, I want to see his mind go hazy and yet focused at the same time. I want to see every side of his.

I want to be chewed up like a toy yet oh so cared for. I'm desperate to leave him marked. It's just not fair how easily he affects me: he makes me melt, so much so I don't usually know how to hold my demeanor.

Oh but oh

How I want my tongue and mouth surrounding his cock, while needing him inside me. I want him buried balls deep, walls squeezing around him. I just wanna keep being yours. I wanna be marked inside and out. I want to be wholly yours.

Tie me up, pin me down, hug me close, skim my skin, I'll let you do it all- but my stupid duality has me wanting to melt right beneath his control while my possessiveness wants me biting.

Scratching, clinging, licking and nipping. It makes me feel oh so hungry. I just want to eat him up, I want to drive him insane.

[buney-kat]

He's the one I've been missing... Every time I was stuck with that pang in my chest, that longing and ache of yearning as I waited. No one has been able to replicate that feeling until him.

A feeling that feels so starkly like longing. A longing that scares me, my emotions always scare me. The depth I feel frightens me. It's a state that (whenever I get melancholic) feels so tragically pretty.

I just can't stop loving and feeling.

I just want him beside me, even being in the same room would suffice, if at least for a little while. I want him every which way, I just hope I'm not too much.