bunnieonherknees

[bunnieonherknees]

beta programming with gender stereotypes anyone?

forced into femininity. curling my hair and applying makeup every morning. making me wear pretty dresses and skirts with nothing on underneath, so you can use my cunt for the only purpose women have. having me say please and thank you and be so polite no matter whats being done to me.

forced into masculinity. wearing grungy, baggy clothes and going off to work every day to be a provider. only being allowed to shower once a week and never being allowed to shave. being told that im such a guy and it's normal that guys are so horny all the time, that i should get myself off and let you watch.

being thrown back and forth until i lose my gender identity completely, only knowing how to appeal to what you want me to be

[bunnieonherknees]

being programmed into thinking im an actor in a movie with very realistic sfx. being elbows deep in someones internal organs with cameras surrounding me, thinking that they're just acting and that im doing a wonderful job. itll eventually be uploaded as a snuff film, but i wouldn't need to know that now, would i?

[bunnieonherknees]

hhhhhh test new aphrodisiacs on me and tell me that this is how good girls like me are supposed to feel

[bunnieonherknees]

bleeding out? awesome, cool, great of course, but have you considered.... tourniquets?

soft silk against your skin turning into squeezing, aching pain as the blood flow to your leg gets cut off, til you can't feel it anymore, til you cant move it anymore. feeling the pressure subsiding in your upper thigh but feeling nothing as the knife digs into your lower muscles. watching the color drain from your leg and thinking you might never walk on two feet again...

only for the tourniquet to suddenly be snipped off. the light headedness kicking in as the blood rushes back in, searing white hot pain as all feeling returns and you now feel how deep the cut really was, your muscles cramping and tingles running rampant across your skin. having this done to you over and over because the only real risk is tissue damage from overuse. the only real scar would be from the knife, which isn't even needed in the end.

[bunnieonherknees]

shout out to transharmeds who whine and cry and beg for things online but are actually stubborn and put up a huge struggle in real life

[bunnieonherknees]

thinks.... thinks a lot.....

thinks about hypnosis and brainwashing. thinks about a vr headset being strapped onto my head so tightly that i cant take it off, with nothing but bright swirling visuals and overlapping voices that i cant get away from no matter what i do. the voices so loud that i cant hear myself scream or even think, the colors permanently burned into my vision.

thinks about someone standing in the room with me, watching me stumble around and helplessly pry at the device on my face as i lose every shred of sanity. them being so amused at my broken form on the ground, slumped against the wall, dry heaving because i have no more tears left after tens of hours of being told my only purpose is to serve my handler.

[bunnieonherknees]

fuck using a leash, i want "if this barrel leaves your mouth, ill shoot." and then just going about your day with me fearfully trailing very close behind :3

[bunnieonherknees]

I saw you're open to transharmfuls interacting. I must say you write the best transharmed + transprogrammed posts on this site; hope you get exactly what you desire and more.

thank you so much anon!! it means the world to me that my fucked up musings are enjoyable to people :3

[bunnieonherknees]

permanent marks...

tattoos, scars, burns, brands, they're all just so pretty...

especially if they have a use!! brand my chest with your symbol, carve my deepest insecurities and fears into my skin, burn my fingerprints off so they won't be able to identify my body!!

[bunnieonherknees]

need someone to respond to my trauma with sympathy and compassion, saying how horrible it was that it happened to me, but that they just dont understand it yet. they did this to you? well, did they do it like this or like this? i just need to know the details so i can better understand you and help you, hon. just pretend that im them, alright? until we've recreated the entire traumatizing flashback because its what you wanted from the start. you dont want me remembering anyone but you hurting me.

[bunnieonherknees]

What’s your idea of being programmed? Do you think it entails being told something with a punishment if you fail to obey said command? I’m really curious about what you think the whole this is about.

ive always understood it to be a means of implanting triggers into the subconscious through very severe and repeated trauma, abuse, and torture. causing such intense dissociation to enable access to the subconscious that way the victim can ultimately be controlled and often be unaware of those triggers because of dissociative amnesia.

if im wrong, please correct me, but from my research and experience, this is what ive believed!

[bunnieonherknees]

You're so fucking desperate it's honestly pathetic

desperate and pathetic?

guilty as charged anon! :3

[bunnieonherknees]

ohhhh my god just had a thought.

if i ever do end up finding a programmer/abuser, id love for them to find this blog and not tell me. theyll have so much dirt on me, theyll be able to do things to me that are so vile id turn my stomach out, only for them to turn the phone to me to show my posts detailing the exact situation im in. theyll say how i asked for it and how theyre just giving me what i want, laughing at how much i whined and begged online for this to happen, only to now be crumpled on the floor, sobbing and pleading for them to stop.

[bunnieonherknees]

hyperverbality programming PLEASE

i have so many thoughts all the time, some i mean to think and some i dont have any control over. the thought that someone would want to hear ALL of my thoughts so badly that they would take the time to torture that ability into me is soooooo awesome

[bunnieonherknees]

(btw this post is sponsored by the multiple irritated taste buds on my tongue that i snipped off with scissors (too painful to deal with, too impatient to wait for them to heal.) tasted blood for a good 15 minutes but it worked so whatever. plus ive been biting the inside of my cheek for a good few days without noticing.)

i just think it's so unfair that im the only one mutilating my mouth :(

a firm hand gripping my chin, slapping me in the face until i submit and open my mouth. sticking my tongue out for you because you wanted me to and i know only to oblige, only for you to grab my tongue and take a knife to it. cut it up, cut it off, i dont care. leave me behind to choke on my blood. either way, i wont tell a soul about what you've done to me. i wouldn't be able to.

[bunnieonherknees]

itll never be enough, ill want it so badly.

ill let it destroy me from the inside out.

[bunnieonherknees]

imagining a military based programmer who teaches me how to fight, how to box and wrestle and use knives and guns, all because they want more fun out of abusing me. they want me to fight back against them, they want a challenge. it would never work of course, because as soon as id get the upper hand, they would use all the skills they'd never teach me to have me on my knees where i belong.