burning--chaos

[burning--chaos]

when my friend tells me she’s in a situation ship with the guy at work i had a crush on for two years and i ping pong between making sure i don’t explode at the sight of either of them to not blow their cover and feeling like i’ll never be able to get the things i want the way cis people do and i should just accept i’m gonna be alone or at least settle for some weirdo like my mom did

[burning--chaos]

this is what i deserve

i deserve a horrible father and a dead mother who made me this ugly thing

i deserve people who i can’t call my friends because i can’t be there for them when it counts

i deserve a body that breaks down and is only good for the shoddy work it does

i deserve family who don’t understand me

i deserve to be treated like a joke

i deserve to be ignored as soon as i find someone attractive because he finally figured out what a horrid thing i am

i deserve to be treated like i don’t really belong because i don’t

[burning--chaos]

riddle me this if i wanna be a guy so bad then how come i punish myself by not eating like a teenage girl

[burning--chaos]

i LOVE stalking my crush’s facebook page !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning--chaos]

man even thinking about scenarios with this man is getting boring i am DEPRESSED

[burning--chaos]

why the fuck isn’t he biting my thighs right now

[burning--chaos]

was gonna make a long winded post about how hot he is playing the guitar but i’m too horny

[burning--chaos]

if i’m gonna die i need to do it soon i want to give them a chance to forget me

[burning--chaos]

at least when i die i’ll finally be useful (organ donor)

[burning--chaos]

using this as my horny blog too. i want that blonde boy (30 year old) to give my pussy rug burn

[burning--chaos]

i have to remember that my desires and delusions don’t mean shit in the face of how ugly i am

[burning--chaos]

me after having the crashout of the century: i think i'm going to become a philosopher bro

[burning--chaos]

i don’t think i’m good at anything actually

[burning--chaos]

ever since my sister stole my diary in the 7th grade and read out loud about my crushes and weird dreams in front of our mom i now have to be held at gunpoint to talk about myself in front of others

[burning--chaos]

i fear my desires just get in the way

[burning--chaos]

can’t wait to be another tranny suicide statistic

[burning--chaos]

it's so pathetic being 27 and suicidal. like oh i guess teenage me was right, we really should have pulled the metaphorical plug during our psychosis episode of early 2016 like we wanted to but now here we are.