burning-sol

[burning-sol]

Like I'm just waiting for the people in my life to get sick of me, you know? I know I'm generally very paranoid, it's not uncommon for me to think people are going to turn on me one day. But I do wonder if there's going to be a certain point that I become too gross for the people who have already transitioned to associate with. When are they going to tell me they're sick of me being a transtrender, that they're too embarrassed to hang around me anymore, that I'm just a cisgender chaser predator who only pretends to be trans to infiltrate trans communities?

But that's all I have to say on that I think. Just. Be nice to your enby friends. It is so easy to debase yourself and stay quiet when binary people have been telling you to do that all your life if you want to be "accepted" by anyone. You gotta give enby people a bit more love than just being an asterisk at the end of your post. Peace and love on planet earth.

I've been having a lot of negative thoughts about my gender lately. Binary trans people will get bent about things that I do understand, but then like. It just makes me remember I'm not real, in a way. And I should be fine calling it enbyphobia but I just want so desperately for what acceptance I can get that I nod my head along with it, because who wants to hear what a stupid theyf/mab has to say.

There's so many good people in my life who respect my gender and don't put any conditions on any identity, but sometimes you've just got that voice in the back of your head telling you that you don't exist and you never will unless you can prove you are a respectable transgender. If I want to be a lesbian I have to prove it, if I want to be a faggot I have to prove it, if I want to be a transgender I have to prove it.

I still get hung up on those posts where people go off about the "cis" trans people who want to comment on other's transitions without "bothering to pass". And I do plan on transitioning but I can't help but wonder if that's how people think about me when I'm not around. Because I'm too scared to let certain people in my life EVER catch even the vaguest hint of my transness, because I'm too scared to transition around people I don't trust, because sometimes I have the gall to dress aligned with my assigned gender while real trans people are getting treatment for it. I think so negatively about myself, I know I have gender dysphoria, but I have only been very slowly making steps to transition, and I think, "if I was a real trans person, I would want to die more".

And there's just so much more limelight on binary trans people, I don't see people in my circles talking about what's been happening to the enbies in the community. "X thing is going to get transwomen killed!" "X thing is going to get transmen killed!" And then we're addendumed onto the end, we're going to get killed but only if we look and transition like binary trans people. I've been feeling so much more community with intersex people as of late, I feel kind of bitter thinking about the perisex people who say they're over the gender binary when they're obviously not.

Again, I really do just have to focus on the connections with the people who don't think about me that way. But I just don't see people talking about this or any nonbinary people in general more than for a throwaway, "enbies are valid trans too!" kind of thing, and I hope people can understand how that makes you feel isolated in the wider community. Enbies get mistreated in all the ways other trans people people do, but where are the people talking when we murdered? I get that negative thought, "If I die, will anyone even care?"

Ugh. It just.. Sucks.

[burning-sol]

I've been having a lot of negative thoughts about my gender lately. Binary trans people will get bent about things that I do understand, but then like. It just makes me remember I'm not real, in a way. And I should be fine calling it enbyphobia but I just want so desperately for what acceptance I can get that I nod my head along with it, because who wants to hear what a stupid theyf/mab has to say.

There's so many good people in my life who respect my gender and don't put any conditions on any identity, but sometimes you've just got that voice in the back of your head telling you that you don't exist and you never will unless you can prove you are a respectable transgender. If I want to be a lesbian I have to prove it, if I want to be a faggot I have to prove it, if I want to be a transgender I have to prove it.

I still get hung up on those posts where people go off about the "cis" trans people who want to comment on other's transitions without "bothering to pass". And I do plan on transitioning but I can't help but wonder if that's how people think about me when I'm not around. Because I'm too scared to let certain people in my life EVER catch even the vaguest hint of my transness, because I'm too scared to transition around people I don't trust, because sometimes I have the gall to dress aligned with my assigned gender while real trans people are getting treatment for it. I think so negatively about myself, I know I have gender dysphoria, but I have only been very slowly making steps to transition, and I think, "if I was a real trans person, I would want to die more".

And there's just so much more limelight on binary trans people, I don't see people in my circles talking about what's been happening to the enbies in the community. "X thing is going to get transwomen killed!" "X thing is going to get transmen killed!" And then we're addendumed onto the end, we're going to get killed but only if we look and transition like binary trans people. I've been feeling so much more community with intersex people as of late, I feel kind of bitter thinking about the perisex people who say they're over the gender binary when they're obviously not.

Again, I really do just have to focus on the connections with the people who don't think about me that way. But I just don't see people talking about this or any nonbinary people in general more than for a throwaway, "enbies are valid trans too!" kind of thing, and I hope people can understand how that makes you feel isolated in the wider community. Enbies get mistreated in all the ways other trans people people do, but where are the people talking when we murdered? I get that negative thought, "If I die, will anyone even care?"

Ugh. It just.. Sucks.

[burning-sol]

working on this Pokémon fic and the amount of times I’ve had to delete the word ‘everypony’ after muscle memory writing it is frankly humiliating

[burning-sol]

(CONSIDERING A DISCORD WHERE THERE IS ONLY ONE CHANNEL AND THE CHANNEL IS FOR ME SHARING ART I LIKE) (I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE WOULD WANT THAT)

[burning-sol]

you are not oppressed for being a man you are oppressed for being a marginalised man. *does a litlle jump and makes a piece sign* important distinction.

[burning-sol]

honestly i thought id be heavily voted as a girl or boy but i guess i am just built different.

the masses know few things about the enigma sol........ they know he isa foggat.

[burning-sol]

they are clocking me. dude they're gonna find out im just fucking sludggee and i don't even have a clit. becus of the war.

im a girl for the record and i lovr to kiss women. and i hate all trans people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning-sol]

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

[burning-sol]

im a girl for the record and i lovr to kiss women. and i hate all trans people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning-sol]

if anyone asks im the opposite of what they think i am. unless youre my bestie in which case u will know.

im a girl for the record and i lovr to kiss women. and i hate all trans people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning-sol]

when ppl start arguing with me and they whip about the gender on me like hey buddy who do you think you are. you dont know me.

im a girl for the record and i lovr to kiss women. and i hate all trans people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning-sol]

im a girl for the record and i lovr to kiss women. and i hate all trans people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burning-sol]

IT'S JUST SO AWESOME. like shattering is something that is so undeniably Terrible to do to someone. framed countlessly as the ultimate evil you can commit in this society bc it is the Only way to truly genuinely Kill A Gem. despite fighting in a war, none of the crystal gems have done it, it's something that steven Only has in common with the diamonds. like in the past, every bad feeling and everything that made him feel bad he could at least have Someone he loves who can relate to it. but shattering jasper is just his. he just has to hold that forever.

[burning-sol]

no one knows if art is good or not

[burning-sol]

are you tme or tma

tm65 shadow claw, next question.

[burning-sol]

we actually suffer from the same shit because we are women that aren't real women which means it's okay to sexually abuse and murder us and then act like we're crazy bitches when we point out people are being violent towards us. and if you're a trans woman its justified becus you're a faggot who is going to give people stis and if you're a trans man its justified because you're a lesbian who needs to be fucked into being straight, and all of us are nasty predators who are going to rape children and women, and we're brain washing men into beinggay because trans women are men in disguise and trans men have feminine hips. they hate to see a woman be faggy.

tma tme discourse could be resolved if ppl realised they hate women and like mansplaining. this applies to both trans women and trans men. also the terms are bad because it really overlooked how everyone suffers from the intersection of misogyny and transphobia while also becoming synonymous with asking what is in people's pants. whenever i see the tme/tma acronym im just like "fuckkk why have we not gotten over this yet, get this off my dash" and then i block the person.

[burning-sol]

tma tme discourse could be resolved if ppl realised they hate women and like mansplaining. this applies to both trans women and trans men. also the terms are bad because it really overlooked how everyone suffers from the intersection of misogyny and transphobia while also becoming synonymous with asking what is in people's pants. whenever i see the tme/tma acronym im just like "fuckkk why have we not gotten over this yet, get this off my dash" and then i block the person.