burningbananaboy - Tumblr blog

[burningbananaboy]

Has this been done yet?

[burningbananaboy]

Does tumblr know about the animation union yaoi yet

[burningbananaboy]

i would be a kittypet all the way in the warrior cats universe. if i heard a bunch of guys were in the woods killing each other for survival and they think i'm the lame one for getting mediocre banquets i would be like you guys are stupidd and then when the thunderclan medicine cat comes by my fenced lot to pick yarrow i would be like what are you doing and shes like medicine so my clanmates don't die and i'm like wow you guys really have it that rough. and she keeps encountering me and one day i'm like why don't you come inside there's plenty of kibble and she averts her eyes shyly and is like ...no that would be against starclan and i'd go To have a little kibble? and she's like You know what i mean. and i do. 5 moons later she is getting adopted by my people and visions of her ancestors still haunt her and she is from time to time like Did I do the right thing...? how could i be so selfish...? and i'm like my toy mouse squeaks

[burningbananaboy]

One of my favourite recurring tropes in children's and fantasy media is small, whimsical creatures randomly being depicted as extremely litigious. They're three apples tall and live in little mushroom houses and spend their time singing and dancing and making wine out of sunlight and morning dew, and then there's an Incident and suddenly they have judges and bailiffs and a thousand years of abstruse jurisprudence which they cite from a big book of statutes and precedents which is just regular size in human terms but is comically large to them. Like, where did all this come from? To all textual evidence there's like twelve of you – how do you have bureaucracy?

[burningbananaboy]

One thing I love about the Horizon franchise is how both Zero Dawn and Forbidden West make it explicitly clear that while the current threat might be the machines and rouge AI threatening Aloy and her people, the true evil behind everything is and always has been capitalism and, to an extent, the One Percent.

[Spoiler warning for both Zero Dawn and Forbidden West]

Obviously, there's Ted Faro, a man who, through a combination of overinflated ego and massive incompetence, doomed the world twice over. First, accidentally, by designing war machines capable of consuming organic matter as fuel and programmed with code so complex, it took several hundred years to crack. And then, on purpose, by deleting thousands of years of human knowledge and history in some misguided attempt to help the future generations. A man who not only built the Torment Nexus from the book "Don't build the Torment Nexus" but then deleted all records of both his construction and the story from which it came so that future generations would not be able to learn from the mistakes of those who came before them.

Now, while the Zeniths are not as heavyhanded about the themes of the evils of capitalism compared to Ted Faro, they do still uphold that narrative. Remember that the Zenith crew was composed almost entirely of the rich and famous. Rich and famous who would rather save their own skins rather than try to help humanity in its final hours. When they managed to do the impossible and achieve immortality, what did they do with it? Squandered it by becoming lazy, only using it to essentially prolong their own pleasure. Some even became greedy enough to go beyond physical immortality, and when that greed caused the destruction of their home and threatened the new life that had begun on Earth, what did the remaining Zeniths do? Turned tail and ran. Because the only thing that matters to them is self preservation.

Tilda might actually be the worst of them. Because while the others may not care that they're in the wrong, Tilda is the only one who believes she is in the right. Tilda, the woman who was arguably the closest to Elizabet, who watched her choose to stay to help develop the Zero Dawn project rather than abandon Earth, who has been grieving that loss for over a thousand years, believed that, given a second chance, Elizabet would choose to abandon Earth. Tilda, who believed that she was doing the right thing even as she was attempting to force Aloy to abandon her people the same way she wanted Elizabet to abandon Earth. Tilda, who died believing that the woman she loved died a pointless death even after seeing the new world created by Zero Dawn.

The Horizon franchise is and always has been a story about technology. How technology can do so much good in the hands of the right people, but also so much evil in the hands of the wrong people. And it keeps telling us that the "wrong people" are the rich and greedy, the ones who only look out for themselves, the ones who would leave humanity to die if it meant saving themselves.

My biggest hope for Horizon 3 is that it continues this message. That it continues to show that technology can be used for good, but only when in the hands of people who have the best interest of others at heart rather than their own.

[burningbananaboy]

Throwback to my Horizon Greek Gods series, and the classic paintings they’re based on.

(Still some characters I want to add)

Diana The Huntress by Guillaume Seignac

Bacchus by Caravaggio

Hermes by W.B. Richmond

Proserpine by Rossetti

Mars by Velazquez

An Allegory of Victory by Lefebvre

The Palm Leaf and The Pearl by Bouguereau

Priestess of Vesta by Frederick Leighton

[burningbananaboy]

The funniest thing about Just Cause 3 is that there's credible evidence that the main villain is a massive Doctor Who fan

[burningbananaboy]

this is the only text post im gonna make about voting for the US president:

under a 2nd biden term, cops will continue to shoot protestors in the head with rubber* bullets and suffer no consequences.

under a 2nd trump term, which may not end in 4-8 years, cops will go back to shooting protestors in the head with normal bullets like they used to, and suffer no consequences.

that’s where we’re at and that’s the choice you get. i am not willing to keep my own hands clean in exchange for a drastic and immediate increase in state violence, both direct and disguised as policies and regulations.

if you vote against trump, you might increase by a small amount the chance that you will live to see a presidential election where you get to make a good choice. if you don’t vote against trump, living to see that happen gets less likely.

voting is not even close to sufficient, but it is necessary, and it costs me little to nothing to do it.** to me that is the only possible ethical conclusion.

*rubber bullets are actually metal bullets with a rubber coating and they can and do kill people. nonetheless, they kill people significantly less often than regular bullets. also the bullet thing is a metaphor for all the varieties of state violence that will be committed by a trump administration. but also there absolutely will be an increase in the number of people murdered by cops if trump wins.

**there are a great many people in the US for whom voting does take considerable effort and sometimes sacrifice. if you are one of these people, you don’t owe anyone any loss of income or safety. but it may be even more strongly in your interests to vote against trump if you can.

[burningbananaboy]

This came to me in a vision:

Smallneck

[burningbananaboy]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[burningbananaboy]

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

[burningbananaboy]

Omg lego Aloy hiiiiii!!!!

[burningbananaboy]

Aloy: *goes on a dangerous quest across the land, fighting dangerous bad guys/machines, risking her life collecting lost knowledge and discovering the mysteries of the world through her blood, sweat, and tears*

Sylens:

[burningbananaboy]

lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"

meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction

(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)

we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off

he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"

doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"

[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]

"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool

candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"

ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"

candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"

we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."

the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"

it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.

the court case continues.

meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.

back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.

meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.

isabella gets her fireside girls badge.

candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.

mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.

back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.

roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"

this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.

doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.

perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"

the end.

[burningbananaboy]

(Source)

[burningbananaboy]

Thanks to a couple MVPs in our server, we finally got to see the canon tattoos under Kotallo's armor. Had to uh...celebrate 😂 by drawing them. myself.

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST! REBLOG ONLY!

[burningbananaboy]

may she live on, forever immortalized.

Rest in peace, Doge, you were a wonderful meme.