burntowl25 - Tumblr blog

[burntowl25]

[burntowl25]

does anyone know how to hold a pen in a way that doesn't involve using your malformed pinky finger as an important means of balancing the pen that simultaneously bruises your malformed pinky? or is that a problem only i have. on account of the malformed pinky

[burntowl25]

Oh you have a cock? Prove it. Take multiple pictures from multiple angles, hard and soft, hanging loosely and you holding it in your hand. Also I wanna make sure it's working properly so post a couple videos of you nutting. Make sure to take a few pics of you squeezing your balls too just to enforce the idea ☺️

How do you people even find me

[burntowl25]

[burntowl25]

Recently saw a video about cursed Tumblr recipes which reminded me of something I cooked up during a summer job at college. It was a drink I liked to call "terminal clarity".

You fill up a glass halfway with sprite, and fill the other half with a quarter glass of xxx vitamin water and a quarter glass of blue powerade.

You'll know you got the ratios right if it turns an unnatural shade of purple or magenta.

It tastes like every flavor at once for half a second, like your taste buds are being violently electrocuted, only for that taste to immediately disappear and leave behind an aftertaste I can only describe as "void". It tastes like nothing I can possibly portray with words, only that it leaves you hollow and questioning whether taste was an experience that ever existed at all. It tastes like loud silence.

I invented this and immediately got covid the next day as divine punishment for my unforgivable sin.

[burntowl25]

Hello everyone! Tawfik has reached out to me and asked that I help him raise funds for his education.

In the next 7 days, he needs to raise roughly $4,000 for a tuition & fees deadline, or he will not be able to remain enrolled in school this autumn. I believe we can make it happen!!

You can donate as little as $5 on GoFundMe:

You can donate as little as $1 over paypal:

Every amount makes a difference!

In the heart of Gaza City, amidst the turmoil of conflict and resilience, Tawfik's journey began with a passion for software engineering. He pursued his studies at Al-Azhar University in Gaza, where his talent and dedication shone brightly in the field of programming. However, the brutal reality of war shattered his dreams, leaving his university and aspirations in ruins.

Undeterred, Tawfik set his sights on continuing his education at a University in Egypt, determined to rebuild what war had torn apart. Yet, the financial burden weighs heavily on him. Each year, tuition fees amount to $6,000, a formidable sum amidst economic hardship.

This campaign has been vetted by @90-ghost

Thank you!!!

[burntowl25]

How would you die in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?

this is a great question because it narrowed my soul! i would choke on regular chewing gum on the steps outside before even entering the factory. willy would make no attempt to perform the heimlich maneuver and would leave my corpse on the concrete

[burntowl25]

(thinking) I bet none of this would be happening if I was a vast sphere of searing, divine light

[burntowl25]

Ship of Theseus

ship of theseus

->

shit of peeshus

[if you liked this anagram consider donating to ola’s gofundme | #205 on the vetted gaza fundraiser spreadsheet!]

[burntowl25]

i need to be put down like a sick dog

[burntowl25]

i genuinely really love this comic i send it to my non tumblr friends all the time and its always a hit.... cocksley and catapult forever

[burntowl25]

[burntowl25]

you motherfuckers aren’t prepared for me to step through the blue colored gate that multiplies me by 3

[burntowl25]

At the barricades of freedom *vague sizzling of cooked meats*

[burntowl25]

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

[burntowl25]

[burntowl25]

incredibly funny Twitter update.

ps, it's me liking all that gay porn.